Believe to Achieve

Vampire books taking all my energy.....no really this time it was that and the TMJ therapist plus massage (awesome).  I am just starting the fourth book and I really am irriated with Jacob (such a hormone) ,and at Bella for being weak.  This is why I run.  Because reading gets me too involved.  I feel like I am part of the story.  My life experiences, besides the vampire/werewolf thing are quite similar and it struck a chord.  I don't like to have those emotions of choices.  Hence  I run.  I run to escape what I may be feeling that day.  Not good for me probably but the only way I escape painful feelings in order to feel better for the moment.  Sometimes that moment lasts longer than others.  After only 2.59 miles (cut short to go to the movies with Troy and the kids) I didn't get to get past it all.  It isn't about the book so much as what it brought out of me.  Hope not too many read this.  I will snap out of it.  Gotta run some more.  No worries.

2.59 miles (avg pace: 8:29)

Wicked migraine last night so was sent home from work at 11pm. I was so grateful since I knew it was from those three nights in a row last week, not getting enough sleep due to some intense reading material and a niece over wearing strong perfume.  Recipe for a disastrous head problem.  I so wanted to pick up the fourth book and start it but my common sense side won over.  Get sleep.  Get things done for that matter.  Then read.  I am so glad my obsession is not reading.  I wouldn't get anything done because I would be totally confused at who I was.  I am very analytical.  Not good to add reading to as Marion put it another obsession.  I will stick with running.  No major harm there.  I know there has got to be running in heaven.  Right Marion?  Anyway, ran 5.71 miles with husband (8:39 pace).  Rough for my dear husband who is a fair weather runner.  He is getting there.  "Come on" I say  "doesn't it make you feel better".  He says "when I get to the end I always feel better it is over".  Ha Ha.  In the long run (no pun intended) he'll be thankful for my "good intentions".  Went and ran another 2 miles at 7:58 then 7:55.  Felt easy.  Glad cause I am stepping it up this year.  The clock is ticking.....I will be turning 40 on Saturday.  This Saturday, February 7th.  Since I will be working the night before and the night of I will have to make sure not to sleep all the way thru the change in decades. 

Ran just to get my head back together.  Didn't run long enough though.  Hope to recover soon.  

4.17 miles (8:47 pace)

Didn't like book four after midway thru (liked the island getaway though).  Gets too supernatural. But really liked the first three books.  Actually its just that immortality is hard to vision.  But the way she describes it as a vampire well....I think I would get bored if I didn't download by sleeping.  But perhaps a major dose of adrenaline everyday would keep me awake with no need for sleep (like running superfast like the vampires do).  I was actually siding with Jacob for a bit and then he weirded out by imprinting...  not going to give out too much info there.  Hope no one wanted to start the books too soon for the first time.  Don't want to give away the story or anything.   Got out and ran 12.15 miles to get my brain in the game again.  Ran slow at first, but it was an uphill first half so got a really good long run in. 

Avg pace: 8:28 (12.15 miles).

Ran with hubby.  He is getting stronger.  Last mile he picked it up so I did and then well then he was wondering why it felt hard.....it was a 7:23 last mile (half 1/2 mile up hill).  Guys and competition.  I felt fine, at least my heart.  Breathing no problem, just achy all over lately part of the fibromyalgia/chemical allergy ridiculousness.  It is burning pain all over.  It is hard to describe but for some reason a good massage helps me focus off the burning pain. 

Avg pace for four miles (8:19).  Running time 32:55.

Run on 40th birthday.  Worked last night, work tonite (Ugh!!!, long birthday).  Pace okay but mind tired.  Went out to Olive Garden for lunch before next shift.  

7.33 miles (8:07pace); 1/2 miles cooldown 8:08 pace.  Last mile 7:18.  

Ran first with husband.  Slowly...well I stopped and waited for him four times.  He was not excited about getting out in this slushy, cold weather.  He ran slower than usual (I doubt I was running faster, it felt too easy).  Pace for me probably 8:30.  Him over 9 or so.  Ran another 3miles by myself at 8:07 pace.  I have a wicked headache that goes from the right side of my skull down to my hip/back.  Ate lots of wrong foods being my birthday and all and worked two night shifts in a row.  I hate when it gets aggravated (the usual sequelae to my headaches) then it lasts way too long.  New running shoes probably not helping either.  My body doesn't like change.  My old sneakers were pretty molded down where I needed them.  Got three in a row night shifts coming up tomorrow night and a little shift tonite to help a coworker out for three hours.  Not sure what kind of running I can put in this week.  Hope to keep up to at least 35 miles.  

Brrr run.  Got out with husband for only 3 at 840pace or so.

Worked last night, work next two nights.  Got out for afternoon run.  Got in 7.88 at 8:13 pace. Night shift working hard on my endurance and allergies.  But felt good getting out kinks.  

Nice loop backwards from when ran it with Kim (thru town and up thru ivory etc..) after second night shift completed and slept four hours. Have to go in to work at 4pm for staff meeting and work again all night. Long shift. But last one the three nights off. Suppose to go skiin Saturday at 1230 to 9 pm at Brighton and currently 1/3 in charge of valentine's dinner for ward tomorrow. Will I ever sleep? IHC put out a statement in its employee today booklet telling us that night shift workers don't get enough sleep and it is not deep enough and that we are more risk healthwise. Hmmm? But it said our circadium rhythm can't change so it important to rest at times at work...hmmm? Can't do that I would be "out" for the night like a light. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming is my motto from Little Nemo. Ran 6.66 miles at 8:16 pace.

Didn't run yesterday.  Slept until ward Valentine Dinner I was part in charge of (but delegated to husband).  The three night shifts with one day break before they started  (basically I worked last Fri and Sat night, part of Monday night for a co worker, then Tuesday, Wednes, and Thursday night shifts).  I got out today and ran amazingly 15.38 miles at about 1120 am in the snowstorm/flurries.  OH yah!!  Some clearings at times and one BIG HUGE TIRE SPLASH (thanks whoever that was).  I guess it is better than being nearly run over, nice of them to move over to the center with the tire right in the slush at about 40 miles per hour.  That chilled me momentarily but I was in a  zone some how.  Thanks again to my 80s iPod music.  My pace surprised me...8:03 !!!  First mile 8:30 last mile I was shocked it was 7:05!! Something is paying off.  Certainly could not be the night shifts?!?!  I had to pick up my miles as I am running the Antelope Island 50K March 28th (30+ miles).  I am crazy I am sure of that.  It is trail running,  two loops.  I plan to go easy the first loop.  Hope all of you each had a great run too!!  Can;t wait to eat now.  So hungry.  Off to see Twilight this afternoon, YAY!!!

Skied all day at Brighton during the bipolar weather.  First cloudy, then snow, then snow and pelting wind, then snow, then  cloudy, then 20 minutes of sun, then cloudy, then snow, then snow and pelting wind then fog then snow then cloudy then clear then snow..  You get the picture.  When it was clear/cloudy we warmed up and felt great.  Skiing was awesome except the times with snow and pelting wind.  Not fun when on the chair.  On the ground we hid in the tree trails.  I can ski and have skied since I was six.  But nothing can prepare you for a snow-butt-boarder falling on their front and creating a BOARD BLOCK one and 1/2 feet high and four feet wide. I had two seconds to think and first second I thought here goes the rest of my life without running and the next second how can I come out of this in one piece?  Visions of twisted arms and legs and a ride down the slopes on a stretcher filled my mind.  This is how it happened.... my daughter Brooke yelled "mom look at me" I turned for a fraction of a second and then turned around to see the snow boarder crash I had no choice but to crash into her road block I somehow flipped over on to my left shoulder and neck then felt the whiplash take over as I went backward then forward with my head very suddenly and quickly (I ended up in a head roll), I saw a flash of blue light and thought Oh my this is not good for me (with the headaches I already get).  The whiplash was intense for that moment and I layed there on the ground holding my head and neck, not sure if my skis were still on or not but felt they were.  Since I am a skier the bindings don't give well since we are supposed to be able to do tricks and have them stay on.  So my kids and husband stood in awe as they missed my fall but only saw me on the ground and heard the snowboarder say "sorry" and ride away.  I didn't hear her but she was gone nonetheless.  She must have been scared.  It took 10 minutes and then I got up.  I could feel my body.  For that I was thankful.  But I knew what kind of injury this would be for me. Whiplash neck muscle injury.  I would have to skip tomorrows run, hopefully just one day.  I can't believe my thinking.   It could have been a lot worse, like Christopher Reeve who ended up paralyzed just from falling forward off his horse.  I feel like definitely that was not my lot in life because the fall was quite painful it could have been my fate.  I still skied the last hour but I was very careful as my neck and head continued to get tight.  Ibuprofen helped the initial inflammation but I was off to work and couldn't take anything stronger.  I dreaded my twelve hours of working all night but glad when I got home to take a muscle relaxant and sleep for four hours.  Yes only four.  I like to see a positive in a negative so I hoped this fall somehow wacked my brain and neck into place and perhaps my headaches would improve...wishful thinking. 

Got a massage after my TMJ changing of my braces wire appointment.  His daughter does the massages.  She is awesome.  She really understands the body.  She helped the stress in my neck a great deal.  She also added "whiplash injuries aren't good for TMJ"  I responded "I know I saw the poster in the waiting area that says whiplash can cause TMJ" .  Just my luck.  Doesn't matter, I am still going to try to run tomorrow.  I pondered my life without running and it was a dreadful site.  Someday I do have to give it up.  Certainly I can't be one of those 80 year olds with wrinkled legs and arms at the finish line?  I mean, am I really ever going to be that old?  My husband gave me a life expectancy test (it uses health history of self and family) and apparently I will be up and running until 102!!!!!!  By then we should know how to reverse the aging process, right? Troy will only live until 76.  Wow, like what kinds of things from 76 to 102 will  I be doing without him?  Grandma, great-grandma things?  I definitely would place first in my age category then.  No competition.

I began the two week cleanse program again (didn't finish last time).   I am hoping this will help with my chemical allergies.  It is called First Cleanse.  A bunch of herbs that should help out each of my organs to clear out toxins etc..  I will keep the blog posted of any good/ill effects.  I did make it out for a good run.  Got to up the miles as I missed two days.  Troy thinks skiing counts as a  run day.  I don't.  Anyway I got him to run just over 6 miles.  The pace was getting to him so he stayed behind the last mile as I was going to go off and run another four after a potty break.  Average pace for 6.05 (8:23), first mile 8:48.   Unable to lift head off the floor when lying on my back (neck muscles too strained) but running seemed fine.  Yahoo!!  A little tight but no problem getting in the miles, quite sore to turn to the right to look for traffic so just tried to stay looking ahead.  Ran another 4.14 miles at 7:57 pace.  Again I was surprised that this pace felt good.  Just like an easy run.  Of course I just take two steps forward in running then one step back by falling (See Monday's report).  What is it with me?  I am a magnet for getting hurt.  I thought I already took the "toughness test", why do I have to keep taking it?  Along with the "tolerance test" and the "patience test".  I keep having to take them over.  Some day I will get an "A" and many of my tests will be accepted.  Apparently I haven't reached near that point.  I still have a lot left to learn. 

No that wasn't a typo.  I really needed to get my long run in as my 30 mile trail run is coming up March 28.  I meant to do 17 but when  I Course Tooled my run I apparently ran over.  I thought I was running slower, but gladly I wasn't.  However it was one of those runs when you just are struggling to mentally and physically get thru it without a runner's high for some reason.  It is probably lack of calories- or let's say lack of chocolate (and this detox cleanse thing I am doing).  I have been chocolate free for several days.  It is difficult.  I have to say.  I probably will give in today.  Headaches have been at bay and my neck muscles are getting more normal, a little sore but definitely improving.  Pace 8:23 for 17.62 miles.  First four I ran with Troy then I was off on my own.  For a long time it seemed.  Glad it is over.  I feel fine now that I am done.

Ran 3 miles with Troy (I was lucky to get him to do that much) at 8:46 pace then went out on my own.  First mile 8:10.   Half uphill (Cedar Hills) so pace varied but kept strong so average pace for 4.5 miles was 8:08.  Last mile 7:14, felt easy.  Did a very slow 1/2 mile cool down like it felt like a really good resting pace, just under 10 pace.  Did 10 minutes of stretching.  I work tonite and tomorrow nite and unexpected family is in town so in order to get my goal of at least  40 miles I had to run longer today.  It really started out as a four miler then I kept adding miles in my head and decided to just go for it  so I only had to do five or less tomorrow before going out with the family then working all night again.  Should be a warm run tomorrow, possibly 50 degrees?  Yahoo!!!

Got out in the nicer weather about 1:15pm.  Ran 5.03 miles at an easy wake myself up pace (8:48).  Only slept 4 1/2 hours then got up briefly and tried to sleep another hour.  Fruitless so got out for run before family picture event with extended family and trip to the Pizza Factory for dinner.  I am off to work in just a few minutes.  Run was exhilarating.  Got myself awake and enjoyed the warmer weather.  Right now I am getting really tired....must stay awake for 13 more hours though.  You should try it.  It is so fun!!!  NOT!!  Actually my job keeps me busy all night.  No time to really sit or think about sleep for too long.  Talk about ceasing the day....my days don't ever end.  

Ran to school to watch Amber receive a creativity award then ran back home.  Ran with husband for over four miles.  Pace slow.  Waking up pace.  Still recovering from the two night shifts and yay I get to go back in tonite then Wednesday and Thursday nite.  Never a dull moment.  Pace 8:25.

Very achy.  Got sent home early (midnight) last night but didn't fall asleep until 2am.  Felt flu-like as  I started out with husband (lucky for him) so first mile was a 9:26.  Asked Troy if he wanted to run to the canal and run down it.  I was really expecting a firm "no" but instead I got "sure".  So I made my body perk up as best I could as 1100 North to the canal is steep!!  The achiness subsided briefly after we reached the plateau of the canal but waxed and waned throughout run until last mile.  I took care of a patient that half her family that visited were heavy smokers (all the nursing staff were affected) so I think I got some fume exposure intensely.  Even with my nose plugs in I could smell them.  It hit my head and then it was over.   Lucky for me it was my turn to be sent home if overstaffed.   Anyway, it was a warm spring-like run and the canal was muddy in parts so it made for interesting footing and we ran half the time on the side so as to avoid extreme mud conditions but all in all it was nice to be back on the canal.  It slowed our pace but I was proud of Troy as he wanted to keep on the trail when I thought we were turning toward home.  So it became an 8.4 miler.  Pace 8:57.  Last mile 7:14!!  Congrats to my dear husband for sticking it out.  He is competitive so I know he has it in him to become a great runner!!  He played soccer for years, it is his passion.  He is very good. So running is in there. I still feel very achy.  Time to try some advil/ibuprofen. 

First ran by self for 4 miles at 8:03pace.  First mile 8:38 then a burst of energy apparently to get my pace to that average.  Then out for 3.13 with husband  (8:54 average), last mile 8:19.  Tired this leg.  Sore and leg muscles tight from planting Alaskan Daisies my neighbor gave me as he was tilling his garden.  I have been coveting them for the last few years so of course I had to take some and plant them.  Troy just so happened to till the earth and take out flowers/shrubs I didn't want an hour before hand so I had a perfect spot for them.  Can't wait to see if I can keep them just as beautiful.  They grow to at least 3 feet high!!!! 

Post night shift afternoon run after 4.75 hours of sleep.  Ran 4.2 miles at 8:30 pace.  Nice warm run!!!  Really tired as I leave for second shift at Utah Valley Pediatrics.  Just brain tired, will snap out of it soon.  Hopefully.  Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.  Got my 19.7 mile run planned with Melanie Saturday morning.  Yahoo!!! 

Wow, we did it.  Melanie and I left at about 610 am in the freezing, butt cold weather with our gatorade and water in our hand (forming icicles as we ran, no kidding) on the canal trail starting at Lone Peak High School then running to and just past the Orem Soccer Park and back.  We started to thaw out around mile 15.  Our water we left on the way out was frozen when we got back.  Like we knew it was cold but we didn't think it could be THAT cold.  Needless to say our pace before the turnaround as ice ladies was 9:04 and 8:45 on the way back.  Like we did everything we could to just be in survival mode, no overdoing it.  Our sweat froze, actually I don't think we really sweated much.  Now I am in Anaheim CA with my family on a trip to Disneyland and the weather here is balmy.  Ahhhhh...  I can't believe the difference.  The greenery is refreshing to see.. we flew here this afternoon.   We plan to hit Disneyland, Sea World and the beach.  Oh and I should get a few runs in with my shorts on...now that sounds so much nicer.