Believe to Achieve

That's it. I was fine until mile 9 then I just was plain tired. Do you think running on the canal slows you down even when you are trying hard to run fast? I was thinking the dirt has something to do with it. I am beat. Too much this week I think. My first mile I knew I was taking off too fast at 7:51 on an uphill mile to the canal. Oopps. Then I was doing 7:31 for a good two miles then just had to slow down. I was trying to run just 7:40s. Came up short at 1:59:05 for 15.4 miles so 7:43 pace. I really am tired and have a headache. The bottom braces being put on my teeth on Wednesday have really been painful. And I can't shut my mouth all the way -- teeth do not touch now--so I am bumming about chewing. Only 9 months to go. I am so tired of my jaw hurting and locking all the time, even though my teeth were "straight" enough as anyone elses I chose to do this to get my jaw aligned correctly, my bite was way off apparently. Anyway, I am glad I was able to do this run in all this pain so I can at least try to be strong at the marathon after working 7 of the next 11 nights. How do you spell relief? I don't know at this point. I keep pushing myself masochistictly. I don't even think that is a word. Oh well , just not a feel good kind of run day. Where is the sun? I feel cold too. I will stop now. I think I just feel this way due to the oncoming work schedule. It is like this every two weeks since last November and still I am not used to it.

Wasn't going to run but had to shake the head to wake up in order to be alive for the night shift.  Left at 4:55pm.  Ran 3.49 miles at 8:43 pace.  First mile 9:10 pace last mile 8:15.  No soreness from Friday's long run.  The wet roads made the greenery even prettier.  Slight sprinkle for two minutes of the run.  Woke me up thankfully.  Clocked in at work for 6pm shift.  I just keep going and going....

So far no miles. The energizer bunny has actually stopped moving I can barely type this message. I feel drugged. My body has taken a licken and frankly just can't keep on tickin' at the moment. Friday night I worked on pediatrics and took care of three infants that had different "bugs" but the same symptoms (cold/flu like). I had to gown and glove (which I did meticulously) before entering each of their rooms all night long. I was spent after this shift, I could feel the viruses floating in the air, lots of suctioning on the little ones too. Anyway top that off with having run my 15 miler that morning before the shift then returning to level 2 nursery at AFH where a baby started showing the same symptoms that I came on to and the dad walked in with a mask. Great...resistance just being shot at. My own daughter, at the help of grandpa, took her to Artic Circle and let her play on the playset (I don't let my kids do this in outbreak seasons) and her lighter cold has turned into a sess pool of drainage....and coughing. Right now all I feel is INTENSE fatigue like no muscle or tendon wants to move. I think since I didn't get sore from Friday's exhausting run the lactic acid is slowly leaking into my system and tiring me completely out. I rode my bike one mile with my littlest to drop her off at school and was like a drunk.....dizzy and light headed and out of body. So I am done today unless someway naturally I wake the heck up. I probably will call in sick for tonite if nothing changes by ill call time at 1pm. Plan for doing speedwork with Saturdays Five Miler on the Blog.

Trail run after the climb up 1100 north with Kim at 6am.  Couldn't sleep well.  Still feel very achy in head, neck, spine, fingers, wrists.  Not sore muscles but tired tendons etc... hard to explain.  This has been happening to me on and off for years and I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.  I pinned the cause on chemicals and fragrances.  For example if there is a plug in (candle) at the orthodontist office (like my daughter's dr. yesterday) I can't stay in the room or I would pass out in a few minutes from intense fatigue after an initial headache.  Work is hard because I have to plug up my nose to survive the chemicals used there and coworkers perfumes.  It works but I still get affected some, some times more than others.  I don't have the money to go to the environmental health center in Dallas, I  am close at times to desperation to figure this out.  I am tired of Drs.  Drs. who don't seem to care to look further instead say it is stress related here is a drug you can take.  Sure stress causes us all to be out of balance.  I just can't live in this environment like everyone else seems to.   Every strong fragrance puts me over the edge.  At Ogden I will wait on the outskirts from the crowd because usually there is too much ben-gay etc... that I can't breath well.  If anyone has heard of this problem and found answers please enlighten me.  I have been to Dr. Remington and have been on his diet (lost 23 pounds) and feel generally a lot better than I was last year at this time but today and yesterday I do not.  I feel the same overwhelming fatigue.  I rarely get a regular cold or flu I just get these weird neuromuscular symptoms.  My neurosurgeon thought for sure it was MS and that it was a matter of time for the damage to be seen.  I fight that diagnosis since noticing my chemical sensitivities.  My grandfather had MS and used to run and then was in a wheelchair.  He worked near a chemical plant.  My grandmother died of breast cancer from working with those chemicals.  Anyway... I am on the prowl.  Sorry for the long entry.  It is when I feel this badly that I contemplate the last several years...hoping I am onto something and that I will be better, normal.  

Ran with Troy for just over 2 miles then we parted so I could add on.  I ended up running 6.19.  I was told by Troy to slow down, so that was good that it felt easy when picking it up.  However I still have extreme fatigue symptoms, sinus pressure (which my ortho warned me about from the bottom braces) causing histamine release.  I can't remember if histamine release can cause fatigue.  Since benadryl is an antihistamine and people get drowsy on it so I am not sure of the answer.  Any way still intense fuzzy fatigue in the head with dizziness and muscle/tendon fatigue.  Again not sore just tired.  I will probably go in to see Dr. Remington.  It is a pattern for me to feel this way in the Spring even when I was a teenager in track by mid May I would fatigue out and couldn' t move and become extremely depressed.  I don't understand it.  Dr. Remington would have tons of ideas.  He is into wholistic healthcare.   I should probably test my adrenals--the stress gland.  Okay back to my run.  After the first mile in 9:00 I was able to wake myself up into cruise control and do the remaining 5.2 miles at 7:49 pace that is with a steep hill by AF Temple on 700 north (last mile 6:55). 1/2 mile cool down at 8:34 pace. I will only run four tomorrow real slow after I work tonite. Then try to do a good run for the Five Miler from the blog.  It depends on how messed up I get after working the next two nights.  Ran 32 miles after such schedule the end of March.....but I didn't have this much fatigue then.  So we shall see.  This is an extreme taper probably only 27 miles this week.  I think this will benefit me.  Avg pace for total mileage: 8:01.

2pm--Ran while six year old daughter road on skooter.  Did a 1.33 mile loop three times.  The second loop Amber road her bike and the third loop she toughed it out by running, stopping a few times but she did awesome and we had a good time exercising together.  1st loop 13:15 minutes, 2nd loop 12:22 and last loop 14:26- slowing it down to help my cutie, she was running for an otter pop at this point.  She was getting tired.   Avg pace for 4 miles 10:00.  Nice warm weather with a cool breeze.  Off to work I go tonight.  Last night was a good shift.  Didn't get tired until 515 am!!  Still didn't sleep well during the day.  Got about 4 okay hours and 2 get to sleep already hours.  

Excuses first. I AM TIRED. Brain tired. Like it won't shut down but needs to. After Thursday night shift I could only sleep four hours. All day felt this fuzzy headache thing and just couldn't fall asleep. Finally at 11pm I nodded off for an hour and 1/2. Got back to sleep on and off and felt crumby. Muscles okay just brain tired. So at 7am I left to pick up Melanie at the park and ride. I knew she would smoke me in this one. Longer races like the 32 miler after no sleep eventually wake me up but short distances speedy ain't happening. We got there at 720 am so we ran the gorgeous Provo River Trail, bringing back tons of memories for me as I used to live 1/2 mile from the 1.5 mile marker!!! It was beautiful scenery thankfully as truly my eyes wanted to close but I was determined to stay awake and try to tempo this run today. We ran four miles nice and easy. We got back three minutes to the race start. It started at 8am. It was out to the lake and back. This way I could cheer Melanie on. She did awesome (2nd in 31:51!!!). I on the other hand came in at 34:10. Fast enough for 3rd place but for the time standard for a cash prize for a master was 33:40. 30 seconds and I could have been paid $20 to run this tired. One more night to acclimate back to a regular sleep cycle then I believe I could have done under 33 minutes. Sasha wasn't sure of the actual lost speed but he did say it was significant cause of neuromuscular fatigue (working nights) for a woman and being over 40. Some day I will work days again. I don't even feel sore I just feel this "final leg of the Wasatch back relay feeling" after being up all night. If anyone has done the relay this is how I always feel running after night shifts these days. Pace even split at halfway mark more uphill on way back so good with this even split. 6:50 pace for five miles. Ran another 2.5 miles after the run to make that 11.5 miles total. Here's to two more night shifts then sleep, sleep sleep until Ogden!!

Started out slowly, sleepily at 9:38 pace. Ended with a 7:18 mile. Avg pace for 4 miles 8:24. 1/2 mile cool down at 9:00 pace. Lovin' the warm weather and beautiful greenery and flowers blooming!! Work again tonight then off until Ogden. I am going to rest like crazy. Oh yah!!!

Ran an easy run. Stretched out on my grass breathing in all the freshness. First mile 8:55. Last mile 7:58. Tommorrow I will run five with some pick ups then Thursday 3 miles and Friday 1-2 miles. I am getting pretty excited. Not sure of what to think of Sasha's comment that I probably fit enough for a 3:10 to 3:12 at Ogden. He said to try a 1:36 first half and see what happens. Yikes. I feel more in shape but I just don't know. Time will tell. Day of race feelings should tell me how to run it. No overzealousness here on my part. I strive for negative splits. Looking good at the end would be nice.

Ran a very invigorating loop I just found when running the shoreline trail last week.  First I ran to Manila Elementary  (7:54 miles) then up 600 West (eased the pace way up) then right on  White Church road (2600 N. PG)going east and crossing over Canyon rd.  Then straight on to the canal thru a scenic byway.  Ran south on Canal to 1100 North.  Ran down 1100 real easy (don't want tired out quads for Saturday). Sadly I couldn't impress the cop clocking speedsters down 1100 north.  It is definitely a hill one could catch air on, in a car or running.  Last mile picked it up to remind myself of fast running (7:19).  1/2 mile cool down  (9:00).  What is with the cool wind?  Wind definitely dehydrates me, I felf very thirsty on my run.  Run felt easy but head still a bit tired.  Tonight I should sleep well.  I look forward to it.  Avg pace for 5.37 miles 8:26.  

Zero miles.  Cleaned out my house today, clothes, toys, books, etc.. and donated to DI.  Too much pent up energy.  Now I am about to read a book my mom said was fantastic, called "The Shack".  A best seller.  A tear jerker, a soul searcher the back reads.  Anyways.... just waiting around now.  So far so good.  Thinking 3:20 is more my goal than the 3:12 Sasha put in my head.    Not sure if that is going to happen either.  I am going to go with the flow. 

I slept okay from 11pm until 4am.  Then couldn't fall asleep, my stomach was bothering me. Ridiculous.  Then I stared at  the ceiling for a good amount of time.  Drifted on and off but not restful.  Try as I may I wasn't thinking of the marathon consciously.  So of course my subconcious was and really got my brain all in a tizzy.  Relax think of something totally boring or way off the subject.   Finally at 8am I got up in bed and began reading the book I started yesterday.  A little heavy reading and a rather different view of the trilogy.  Got to keep reading to find out about the meaning of all things--in the book.  Later... though got the kids up and to school then ran or should I say "trotted" 1.22 mile route around my neighborhood.  Pace about 10:46.  Slow motion to me but honestly I felt too flul-like to care.  I was trying to get the cobwebs out, new and old.  I feel very nauseated and achy.  My daughter came home at 1030 am from school yesterday with a stomach ache--- I washed my hands diligently...she also has very swollen glands.  But really this kind of thing happens before any big race (unless I am too tired from working nights to notice).  It is like my body knows what it is up against and is trying its last futile attempt to bail out.  My mind won't allow it.  Wish the body would just give in already.  Doubt I will sleep more than two hours tonite.  It is part of who I am.  I don't unwind easily.  You should see me at the Wasatch Back Relay.  I am going and going and my van is falling asleep on me.  I was the last leg for two years.  I had to look alive.  I had to wait the longest.  NO ONE looked alive when I ran.   It was rather humorous actually.  I think I should like to take on Ragnar.  No more unbelievably steep downhill terrain  (on no sleep and 100 degrees) !!!!    Sorry got off subject.  I am not running Wasatch this year but really had a blast the two years I did.  In less than 24 hours I should be closing in at the finish line in a matter of minutes.  I am getting nauseated again. 

Skip the first paragraph if you already read it. Details start in the second. Good run!!  despite starting with sore quads, not a good sign but just meant I would have to focus more on keeping my mind in check so as to not give in to my body.  Will write more later...lots of fun, funny and not-so-funny details to come!!!  A PR for me, and at Ogden....that is something I am proud of.  I even won some money.  It pays to be 40, apparently I am a master in something.  And the competition is slowing?   Not!!!  3rd overall was 41 and came in at 3:05:15!!!  (incidentally last year when she was 40 she ran a 3:30, I guess anything is possible).  I am also glad I am not terribly sore today...but I am taking the week off just to be safe.  Life without running....blahhh  but I work three night shifts this week so healing time is a must.  

Fun details: Divsion winner (even though the real first place for my age was third overall. So not exactly first. But hey, I got $75 for being third master overall. WOW!!!! Paid to be insane.

Okay funny details: WE MISSED THE BUSES TO THE START. We being Melanie (incidentally she was fifth overall) and I. Melanie is my hero. Five kids and a speedy runner. She is going to kick butt at St. George. Sasha was forcing her to drink gatorade the last few miles as he ran next to her screaming at her to keep going. She had her iPod blaring so she said it could have been loader. It makes me laugh and I can see Sasha doing this. I just wish he had enough energy to come back for me. Miles 24 to 26.2 were not pretty. I was hot and lonely. The water was gross but not so when I threw it on myself. Oops got off the subject. So we missed the buses cause we were staying at mile 13 at Wolf Creek Inn and we didn't take the "only one bus loading" literal. We arrived down the canyon at 540am and a girl on a walkie talkie looked at us and said sorry no more buses and you will never make it to such and such a place by 6am. Oh yes we will I told Melanie. She was panicking. I was calm as could be. You just watch. We'll talk our way up the mountain. And we did. Amazingly all the officers were kind and let us through. We parked just above the start at the pub. That got our adrenaline going!! Wouldn't recommend this kind of stress to anyone race morning though. Up and down the canyon, enough already. Fun and not so funny details:

1: 7:30 Better slow down, no overzealousness.

2: 7:49 Hey my quads, or rather inner thighs feel sore. Geez. Better go with more brain power.

3: 7:32

4: 7:41

5: 6:33 No way, that had to be short. Anyone?

 6: 7:18

 7: 7:24

 8: 7:31

9: 7:36

10: 7:34 Tried to get some girl running my pace to crack a smile. She was too focused (no iPod) she couldn't even muster a "hi". She looked young and I figured it had to be her first marathon. First timers are usually way serious. I used to hate it when fast runners would pass me while talking. Like who can talk and run fast? I must have been bugging her. We stayed together until mile 18 when she pulled away, far away but then I slowly gained on her but she was ahead at the end by 30 seconds. I made her smile when I went up to her at the finish line. She actually gave me a high five. Yup it was her first marathon and she was in her 20s. That was all the conversation for the most part.

11: 7:34

12: 7:32

13: 7:42  Here I read a sign saying "Run like a Kenyan", where I yelled back "First I must look like a Kenyan".   

13.1: 1:38:14 Double that and that's 3:16:28. Somehow I could not trust myself to hold on to that. Demon miles ahead (24 and 25). I would at least try.

14: 7:38 Hill coming up. Going intentionally slow down.

15: 8:24 Thank you. I know myself too well.

16: 7:39

17: 6:46 How did that happen? Another off mile most likely even though the next mile is not slow for me.

18: 7:27. Downhill and I can't seem to allow myself to fly. I am scared of the last miles.

19:   7:32 

20:  7:40 

 21:  7:23 

22:  7:33 

23:  7:16    The last of adrenaline used up.  Here comes the crash. 

24:  8:00.  Spectator perfume takes my breathing up a notch.  I can't catch my breath well, plus it is hot plus we are on a winding parkway plus I have a weak mind at this point.  Old demons from 3 years ago here when I did the half and hit a big wall.  I feel I am somehow back there in 2006.  Replaying the whole nightmare to my body.  It gives into the nightmare.  25:  8:32.  Whatever.  Let's just go for the under 3:20 goal okay body?  I still need to hear that the finish line is right up there, it is looking MIRAGE-LIKE.  Fuzzy and surreal.  Let's get there already.  But I am like running in place or something...no umph at all.  Tank empty.  26.2: 10:26 (1.2 miles at 8:41).   I managed to find my husbands hand and slap it before "sprinting" 20 feet to the finish line.  Yippee, a PR and another rip roaring good time!!!  Really.  Feeling good overall about this run because at the start I knew my mind would have to get me there.  I was physically tired this week but knew I could get my goal (3:22).  In a few weeks I will run the  a 5K in Springville, then two 10Ks in July and two halfs in August then its SGM again!!!  Where I intend to really put it in gear (3:10 do I dare say?) .    I am excited for a Summer filled with more running and family fun!!!   I think I might even try to get some better abs.  They are a little floppy.  Cross training maybe helpful too.  Swimming sounds nice.  Good times!!

Aching to get out and run and soreness pretty much all gone.  Went out at 740am.  Ran 3.68 miles at 9:05 pace.  First mile 9:18 last mile 8:24.  Right hamstring sore/tight after first mile so just shortened stride and didn't lift/bend leg much, this seemed to help.  Enjoyable easy post marathon run.  Plan to run 2 Friday and 6 Saturday with Melanie.  Work next two nights.  Monday night shift was interesting.....I was still working out soreness and achy joints but got to do it walking all night.  Had to take ibuprofen (2) by morning.  It felt like I had ridden a horse or just given birth by moving all into the night.  Luckily I could keep drinking lots of water so I was more hydrated than if I were sleeping.  

Pace fast cause I was on a wake up mission.  Ran 2.42 miles at 7:27 pace then a cool down at 9:12.  Ridiculous.

Trail run with Kim.  Ran up 1100 North.  First uphill mile (not as steep)  8::35.  Then steep uphill climb to the shoreline trail.  First 2.5 miles 9:05 (includ. that first mile).  Then it gets ridiculously steep for a portion then evens out along the "shoreline" with up and downhills at short intervals.   Too awesome of a run.  Went all the way to just about the mouth of American Fork Canyon and crossed over to N. Cottonwood rd. and down on to Cedar Hills Park way trail.  Stopped at this gorgeous nestled in park (when we were still on shoreline) and found a potty with the door open.  Amazing.  Even a water fountain by the pavillion up in the middle of nowhere.  So cool.  I was parched and my right hamstring issues from Thursdays run (due to the marathon)  turns out to be sciatica because it goes deep in to my butt and tender on the lower back.  Going for a massage later today!!!  2 for 1 today, me and Kim.  We are so there!!!  Okay our run ended going down past Deerfield Elem.  to my 800 meter road and down 1300 west.  That was an exhilarating run.  Was going to do just 6 today but Kim needed to do 12 for her training for Wasatch back.  So I thought what the heck, it ain't a marathon and my mind is willing even though my sciatic is not.  Too bad.  Average pace:  8:30.   Made up time on the downhills. 

Hill work.....again with Melanie this time.  She wanted me to join her in Lehi at the Legacy Center.  We met at 645 am and ran her hill work on the only hills really in Lehi.  Up to Freedom Elementary then back to Micron Hill as I call it but it is below micron.  It is a pretty steep decline then incline, intense but brief enough.  Turned around at stop sign and repeat and head back thru same deep dip and home free (downhill) after that.  Average pace for 8:  8:20.  First uphill to freedom I was winded, talking lots and legs heavy from 12.5 mile hill run on Saturday so pace was 8:50 for first 3.42 miles.  All in all it was refreshing.  On drive home I got to see the end of the 5K memorial run ending close to Albertson's in American Fork.  Cheered on first two guys and then came Mary Ann.  So I cheered her of course.  Looking fast.  Then headed home for a ward Memorial Flag Ceremony.  

Wake up run at 2pm. Quite warm out. Should acclimate well for Hobble Creek having to run at 2pm after I work a night shift. I will call those runs my sprinkler route here in a few weeks when it will be so blazing hot I will have to run from sprinkler to sprinkler. Since there is a rule for the even numbered houses to sprinkle during the day I should have no problem, hopefully. I will also do the hose down route by coming back to my house every few miles to hose myself off and then take off again. 3.32 miles at 8:30 pace average. Last half mile 7:36 pace. Started to wake up then. Now I am again tired. Oh by the way I signed up for the Bryce Canyon 1/2 marathon July 18th. I should love the 6am start (not so hot) and the 7400 feet above sea level start that is downhill like hobble creek, so I am told.

1040am run with Kim up to canal via 2600 north PG then North on canal past Lone Peak and back thru scenic mountain like trail by Tri City Golf Course, single runner only at this point for about 3/4 mile coming out by some large open fields north of AF high school then up 700 north past Mt. Timp Temple and back home.  Last mile 6:29 (last 1/4 3:11).  1/2 mile cool down at 9:00 pace.  Avg pace for 8.86=  7:42.    Tired but glad to push it.  Still some sciatic pain in right hip.  Used to be only on the left so not sure why it showed up on right since marathon.  Summer Time is HERE!!!

Easy, but not so easy run. Body achy all over, joints etc....but just wanted to try and tough it out.  After two miles I got my adrenaline going to give me strength to do the rest of my planned 5 miler.  Ran through a couple of sprinklers even though not quite as hot as I thought it would be.  Visers sure help to make me feel much cooler.  Slowly acclimating...not near 100 degrees yet.  Hope weather gradually warms up so it doesn't shock me.  Pace for 5.15 miles:  8:26   

SPEED WORK, HIP HIP HOORAY.  Not sure who is winning the battle-- my body or my mind?  I wake up feeling sick, the way I always do before a workout I know I am going to push myself in.  Brain controlling body, or body controlling brain?  So...got the kids off to their last 1 1/2 hours of school and took off on my warm up run of 2.81 miles at 8:48 pace, a long route to Kim's house to use her treadmill for some serious speedwork....since before the marathon.  I only did three official speed works before Ogden, one being the five mile blog race so I need to get it in gear to get some PRs this year starting with the Nestle Art City Days 5K next Saturday.  This is what I did ... (all premeditated from yesterday and with talking to Melanie, who is up to two 10Ks of treadmill speed work at 6:30 and 6:22 pace, which  lesser workouts gave her a 3:07 at Ogden!!!!!!).  Kim's house is relatively perfume-free and I could open the windows in her basement to give me the outside feel.    Okay here is what I did Sorry for the long introduction:   first gradual increase of pace on treadmill to avoid injury and "frog in hot water" panic attack for 5 minutes then the work began of  6.5 minutes at 6:31 pace increasing to 6:27 second quarter of first mile and 6:22 for last 30 seconds;  two minute recovery run at 8:49 pace; then starting at 6:27 pace increasing to 6:22 the second quarter of second mile and 6:18 to 6:15 last 30 seconds;  two minute recovery at 8:49 pace; then last mile starting at 6:22 pace last quarter of third mile at 6:18 and last 30 seconds at 6:15 pace then 2 1/2 minutes recovery run at 8:49 and 2.35 mile run home....AHhhhhhhh the feeling of accomplishment!!!.  Kept incline at 1%.  Felt really good actually especially the first 3 to 4 minutes of the first mile. The sweat poured down on me during the second mile.  Hoping that means my max VO2 capacity is increasing.   Felt very focused staring at Kim's electrical outlet...got to get her to post an inspirational poster in front of her treadmill.   Kim will try this workout on Monday as she is now inspired!!    Work the next two nights...got to slow down at some point...wish my life was family and running....but must pay the bills too I guess. 

Nice relaxing wake up run.  Good hill work too.  Of course I can't have an easy run be completely easy.  Ran some roads I never before ran on...and I thought I have run them all around here.  Nice change of scenery.  Pace for 5.9 miles  8:41.  Last mile 7:41.