Bunny the Cow

I am happy because I don't feel horrible from the workout, last Sunday I had no energy. Maybe the workout was so hard last week that it made yesterday not as good.

First run of the year! 4 in 31:47, then after almost 2 hours of procrastinating did 3 in 22:30 with a quarter pickup in 70 downhill.
I need to stop having a bad attitude about going for a run, the hardest part about running is just getting out the door. The slushy cold snow didn't help either.

The track is buried in snow, so did 8 quarter miles with 1:00 recovery at home. Went back and forth, the first being downhill, the next being uphill: 76, 84, 81, 88, 82, 91, 82, 86.
I felt very strong, the high altitude made it hard (I am at 5,300'). 
A little while after did 3 in 23:23, the last downhill quarter was 79. I felt better than all week. I think it helped that I didn't work and was very lazy all day. Also I am not really stressed anymore. 

2 in the morning on the Spanish Fork trail in around 16:00. Went on a 2.75 jog/walk with my brother's new girlfriend! She is from Brazil, she is a very amazing person!! I hope we can be best friends.

In the evening did 5 in 39:37. Last downhill quarter was 78.

1 in 7:49, then did 4x400 in my neighborhood going down then up hill. 73, 86, 79, 85.

Still recovering a bit so it wasn't the best, but it benefited me a lot mentally. Did 4 more in 32:56 a couple hours later. Went to dance class for the first time in 3 weeks. I surprisingly had some energy but didn't push myself. I will probably be sore.

59:37. I went really slow so I can have a somewhat decent workout tomorrow. I could have gone faster but I am sore and didn't feel like it.

2 in 16:37 I think, then Sasha paced me for 3 down the canyon. I got 18:15, a lot better than last week, I still could have pushed harder. I only kicked the last quarter and could have kicked earlier. 6:01, 6:06, 6:08. The last 200 meters was in 41 I think. 
2 miles home in 17:55. Then 2 in 16:05. 
Went on a little jog/walk with Sarah and a refugee, they were talking in Russian and I could understand everything! I am still too afraid to talk a lot but I was able to say a few things in Russian. We went about 1.6 miles and of that ran about 0.5 miles.

1:00:59 I think. First day of college so I got to run at the canyon instead of my house!

Only got 5.5 hours of sleep, felt tired only for the first class. The more I sit, the less sleep I need. Going to school is way easier than work so I didn't even need a nap. At work I can sleep 9 hours and still need a nap.

Ran 8 with Sasha and Jacob in 1:03.0 I think. Sasha and I did a mile pickup in 5:46. 
 

2 mile PR down the canyon in 11:35! 5:50, 5:45. I don't know the last quarter but the last half mile was 2:48. I kinda forgot to kick so only kicked the last 300 meters.

1:00:33

At my house did 3 after work in 24:18. My joints were really hurting from working all day and dance class yesterday so I stopped. I went to take my sister in law back home and didn't get back till midnight. So I ran 4 in 30:16, my parents we not happy. My joints felt better but my toe is a bit sprained again.

2 mile warmup in 15:53. 3 mile PR down the canyon in 17:57! Ran home with Joseph, we stopped a lot. I really pushed myself, and I felt really awful when I got home. Getting a PR is nice but my body was so exhausted it made me feel sick. Later, after walking up the stairs I got very dizzy and fell over because I had no strength left. The PR was worth it though.

55:50. Last downhill quarter was 72. I am really surprised I felt good. After the Saturday workout I was sure something would hurt.

2 with the little girls in 17:40. Then 6 by myself in the canyon in 46:27 with a 6:12 pickup. Still recovering a little bit but not sore.

Don't know the time for all the miles, but did 2 in 12:10. I think it was too cold and I am still recovering from Saturday.

4 in 31:58 with William. After a 20 min nap did 4 in around 31:30 with Stevie and Matthew.

I didn't get enough sleep so I didn't feel the best. 

4 in 31:39, then 4 hours later did 3 with my brother Tim in 29:03. By myself did 0.5 in 3:15.
My right eye is inflamed for no reason, it is pretty red and painful. This has nothing to do with running, but I just wanted to remember. My eye gets inflamed like this 2-3 times a year for no reason. I think it is genetic. For 4 generations most of the males have this problem, but I am the first girl to have it. Just like the weird heart palpitations that run in the women in my family. It is very strange.

2 with Mary and Sasha in 18:05 I think. 
2 mile warm up around 16:00 I think. 3 miles down the canyon in 18:58. A whole minute slower than last week. There was slippery snow and I didn't feel like killing myself like last Saturday. 2 miles home in 16:30, did the last half mile up hill in 3:15.

I don't feel horrible after the run so that is good. Also my eye is back to normal.

1:05:27 in the canyon with Sasha and William. It was very cold and windy with lots of snow on the ground. 

In the canyon with Sasha and Part with Joseph did 1:03:00 something, I don't know. Did a mile pickup after 4.5 miles in 5:45. It feels good to be recovered finally, I had a lot of energy.

Lots of snow. 2 in 16:24, then 8 with Sasha and Jacob in around 1:08:00 I think. The last bit of the hill was 45 seconds I think.

By myself in the canyon in 1:03:04. The last half mile up the hill was 3:04. I was so tired because I didn't sleep enough.

16:36 at my house at midnight. I worked for 10 hours and then babysat till 9pm. It took a great amount of will power to just do those 2 miles. I am very sad because I had to say goodbye to some foster kids that I babysit sometimes; they are going to a new home. It hurts a lot to say goodbye. 

I drove all 5 boys and Sasha to the canyon in my mom's van. I thought it was funny that I ended up driving our running team when I am only 17! I feel like I am 12 haha so it was very weird. Did 3 miles down the canyon in 18:54. The ground was fine but I was sore and had a little cold. Did the other miles around 8 min pace. I felt like I had put in a PR effort when I got home. I felt so exhausted that it was painful, not real pain, but it felt horrible to do anything. I don't remember being this wiped out when I was 12, maybe it was easier to recover then.

I was lazy all day and did barely anything. I have so much energy now.

2 in the morning at home in 16:04. There was a lot of snow and it was so cold it hurt my lungs.

6 in the canyon in 46:42 with some snow. It felt so good to run.

1:05:30 by myself in the canyon. I didn't sleep enough so it felt hard. I think I froze too, it was 18 degrees. Did a little bonus early this morning because I ran to school from the car (0.6 miles). It was 0 degrees then! A good start to your day.

2 in 15:26. 3.3 to the car shop in around 29:00 (with the girls). 3 around 8 min pace with a very cold 1000 meters in 4:12. Was trying to go 10k race pace but had no idea of my speed. 

2 in around 17:00 with everyone in Saint George. Then 2 more around 14:00, the 2nd mile was 6:02 (tried to go 10k race pace). It felt a little hard so should go a bit slower. 2 more in 16:00. 

Tapering for the race. In Arizona did 2 around 18:00 and then 2 more around 16:00. Only running 2 miles and being lazy made me have so much energy! I go crazy if I can't run.

Mesa 10k in Arizona! 39:43 (5 minute PR!) with the 2 5 kilometres being a PR also. I got 7th/905 women's overall, and 1/32 for women's age group. To my surprise I felt better afterwards than on a normal Saturday workout. When we got home just me and the girls ran for 18:00 (around 2 miles). I still felt great, I don't know where the energy is coming from, probably form the long car ride to get here.

8 in the morning in Saint George. Did around 4 in 32:06, then around 2 in 17:17, then around 2 in 17:48 (I think). 
After I got home in the evening I did one more in 6:09 (with 2 turn arounds with ice). I just have way too much energy from being in the car all weekend. I have a really strong runner's high and I feel more happy than I have ever in my whole life!

Early in the morning did a 1.6 mile run to the bus stop to make it in time. Was under 12 minutes I think, with a backpack. In the afternoon ran 8 miles in the canyon in 59:44 with the 5th mile being a pickup in 5:53. Went to dance class right after and still have that toe problem. I am getting out of shape for dance but I am ok with that. I would rather run. 
 

I don't know why I had a good run, the 10k didn't seem to affect me too much. It is also strange I am not sleeping enough but feel great. I also think the 10k gave me a really great runners high, because I feel happier than I have ever felt in my entire life! But part of that happiness is due to finding a girl who is interested in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! It was really cool to do some missionary work! Having something important and life fulfilling to look forward to definitely helps my running.

2 with the girls in 17:14. 8 with Sasha in around 8:10 pace. After the 4 miles we did 2 in 12:24. There was a lot of very strong wind. The last 0.155 miles was 48.

In the canyon in 1:04:18. I was sore and tight and it felt very hard.

At 10:00 p.m. did 4 in 30:56. I worked all day and my feet were really tired, so I ran as late as possible. My energy levels at work are a lot better now, I think my running fitness is helping my daily life more.

1 in the morning in 7:14 before the ACT test to think better. Didn't do my best on the test but it taught me a lot. 
In the afternoon did 12x400 in the canyon. The average was around 78.5 with the last being 73. The rest of the miles were very easy, around 8:40 pace for all 6.
 

1:03:30 in the canyon with Sasha and Jacob.

With Sasha and Joseph did 8 in the canyon with a mile pickup (after 4miles) in 5:41 (PR). The mile's last quarter was 80. The rest of the miles were all around 8:10 pace. The last mile was by myself in 6:57. The pickup made me feel so good.

In the morning with Sasha and Jacob did 2 fast (after the 4th) in 12:31. Not very fast, I did not feel recovered from yesterday. Struggled after 0.5, the first mile was 6:02 then I had nothing left. 

1:03:20. Did the first 2 with William in 16:05. I was very stiff so it made it hard. The 0.155 uphill kick was 50.

33:54. After working 10 hours my joints hurt too much so I ran at night. It was getting very late so I couldn't finish. Next week I will try to run some before work.

2 around 17:10. Did 6x800 in the canyon with 0.25 recovery. 2:48 average, last one was 2:47. I felt good and wanted to go fast but I had so much congestion and couldn't stop coughing halfway through every one. I think it is from the cold weather. A mile around 9:00, and 3 in 25:28.

1:19:41. It was 40 degrees and I had so much energy!

2 with the girls in around 17:20, Then 2 in 16:30 I think with some of the boys. 2 down the canyon in 12:25. The first mile was 6:11. I only got 5.5 hours of sleep and I was feeling it. It was hard. After several hours did 2 more in 15:40 by myself (last mile was 7:26 which is decent)

1:09:30. Big winter storm and tons of snow! It was a torturous run this morning. We all ran around the parking lot and then some sidewalk, it felt like I was running for 5 hours.

By myself in the canyon in 1:05:10. After 4.25 I did 0.5 in 3:04, then an easy half mile, then 0.5 in 3:07. Still think I am lacking a lot of sleep because I couldn't even hold 6 min pace for half a mile. It wasn't painful, or I didn't feel out of shape, but I just couldn't go faster.

32:39. I had plenty of energy to do more but my arch felt very strained from walking all day. I just need to go to bed on time and get up earlier to run in the morning. 

6x800. Around 2:46. Last one was 2:42 which is not too far from my PR. I wasn't coughing which helped me not panic.

Around 7 in 58:00 in the morning with Jacob and Sasha. There was a lot of snow. I did 2 more in the evening in 15:30. 

4 around 32:30, then 2 around 14:25 (last half mile was 3:05). 2 with the little girls in 17:56. After a bit did 2 in 15:21.

Around 1:07:30. Lots of wind and snow.

After 4.5 miles (8 min pace) Sasha paced me for 2 in 12:25 (6:04, 6:21). Struggled after 0.75. 

35:42. I had a little cold and it was hard getting started in the morning. Running before work made the day a lot better though. 

After 2 mile warmup Sasha paced me for 2 miles in 12:05 (he went ahead). I did 5:58 and 6:07. Even though I had a cold I didn't cough, I think it is because I didn't push myself so my lungs weren't as stressed.

I realized that I am not pushing as hard as I used to. On a workout I would usually push so hard I couldn't walk for a bit, now I don't try to kill myself. Maybe I should start killing myself again.

At home by myself did 1:03:19. Last quarter was 72. This was the first time I ran my full mileage after a 10 hour work day! Still rested/procrastinated though, and finished at 11 pm. It snowed about 4 inches and I am getting tired of soggy socks. I wasn't really running on the snow, but it was strange that it was so hard to go faster than 8 min pace. I feel like I have been getting slower lately.

48:54 in the morning. This run was mentally torturous. I hate running in mile loops. I didn't have enough time to do 8, and I did not feel like torturing myself later.

1 mile warmup in 9:15. I think I got a 100 meter PR for the stride: 14.03. Did 3x1000 at the track by myself. 3:39, 3:45, 3:47. I thought I would be able to to hold the 3:39, but I guess I am not as fit as I thought. This is the first time being back on the track in a while, I should do this workout more. My pain tolerance has gotten lower so I don't kick as hard. I am very afraid of making myself tired from a workout. I used to use every bit of energy till I felt sick, now I barely feel bad after a workout. The last 200 meters was 45, which I know I could do better. I ran around 6 miles in Salem in 49:45.

Gideon did 0.25 in 2:18. I did 6 in 47:55 it felt so hard to keep 8 min pace. One hour later did 2 in around 16:00, can't remember. The last quarter was 82 I think. 

1:06:26. It was very windy, but it was 50 degrees! I hate running by my house so much that sometimes I forget that I love running. There are many things I can complain about, but I just need to be more grateful. It's funny how running is really the only thing that makes me stressed, but is also the only thing that makes me not stressed. I didn't procrastinate as much becuase my brother Tim encouraged me to quit being so dramatic, and get my butt out the door.

Just me and William did 10 in the canyon with a 2 mile workout. 1 mile warm up in around 8:50. The 2 miles were 12:14. The first 0.25 was 86, the mile was 6:00. Kicked in 90. William got about 12:12. He wanted to be nice and stay with me.
We did 7 in around 58:45. William talked the whole time, he kept me very entertained. I thought I was going to break 12:00, especially it being 45 degrees. Maybe something is wrong. I feel like I am just getting slower. I really need to be smarter with my diet though. I also need to focus and be intentional in running.

I am so happy to be back in the canyon! 8 miles with Jacob and Sasha in 1:03:15.

It was 60 degrees!! With some headwind did 2 in the canyon in 12:24 I think. Did it with Sasha, Matthew, and William. William stayed with me, but Sasha and Matthew got 12:16. I fell back after 1.25. Something is not right, I feel there shouldn't be a reason for me to be consistently slower. I know I am not sleeping as much and maybe not eating quit right.

Did the rest of the miles with Sasha, around 8:10 pace. I did the last half mile with leigha when we got home. She got 5:15.

Around 1:02:00. Today gave me some hope that I will start improving soon. It was pouring rain, but not too cold. After 4 easy miles up the canyon Sasha paced me for 2 in 12:23 (6:05, 6:18). I think this was very good because we were drenched and tired, and I had run a workout just yesterday. However, I got more sleep, which made a huge difference. I think the main problem is simply not enough sleep.

8 by myself in the canyon in 1:03:15. The last 0.155 hill kick was 52.

33:39. Did not want to run mentally after working all day. Sometimes when you do too many things you hate life just sucks. I love running but not after working.

After a 2 mile warmup (more like a cool-up, very cold and windy) did 2 miles fast. I got 12:01! (5:58, 6:03, quarter kick was 89). This is the fastes in 2 months. I got more sleep so that helped. The 10 year old Matthew still beat me though. He got 11:58. Even though I improved a bit I still think something is a wrong; the energy I had today could do a lot more before. But, I am also not pushing myself as hard on the last half mile. I am more afraid of going all out because I don't want to feel pain after. After 2 miles easy I did another mile in 5:49. I didn't feel horrible after. The rest of the miles were around 8:30 pace.

Somehow yesterday I hurt my right knee. I didn't do anything but it probably got overused running about 12 miles and then going to a dance recital. I can't bend it or move it very well, it is very unstable. I will be surprised if I can run tomorrow because it is hard to walk. 

1:03:54. I am very surprised that my knee problem wasn't as bad as I thought! Yesterday it was very unstable and a could barely use it. Today it was a little unstable but I had no problem running! Today was very wet, got another nature shower.

2 in 17:43 with Mimi, then 0.5 in 4:15 with Leigha. She got a PR and lost her shoe on the kick! 1 with Bella in 9:25, then 4 with the little boys in 31:04. 1 by myself in 7:36. Today my quads are extremely sore. I don't know why because I didn't do anything crazy; maybe the hurt knee made them sore. My left foot arch was strained. Very painful easy run today. My knee is 100% better though. 

I did one squat last night and it completely ruined my knee. Didn't get much sleep because of the pain. All day my knee was locked and I was unable to bend it even a bit. Couldn't go to school or do anything. Sasha was prompted to tell me to use the message gun on the surrounding muscles. I was able to bend it after that for a minute then it got super tight again and locked up.

After a very painful 24 hours of literally not bending my leg in the slightest, I was able to fully bend my knee this morning! I limped around most of the day but by night I could walk without limping! Still can't run though. I can't put any weight on the knee while it is bent. The massage gun also helped a lot.

In the morning I happily woke up with no limp, and was able to take Ceci to the bus stop and jog slowly back (about 100 meters). I walked a lot for an hour and then my knee was getting worse so I had to stop. I still worked all day but with a limp. 

17:45 with Sasha, Mary, and William. They kicked quite ahead and I couldn't really go faster. I feel so lazy, and horrible for not exercising. All I want to do is run! I felt confident I could do more, but after those 2 it was getting a little worse. I did a limp jog to keep weight off it. I didn't do anything bad though and went the whole day without limping. I still think it is definitely injured, I keep on forgetting though because I am not in pain really. First day I can go on the stairs like normal.

It feels like I never even had a knee injury, nothing feels weird at all. I ran a tiny bit and my form was normal with no limp. I am going absolutely crazy not running! I can't wait to run again!

1:09:29 on snow, it is still winter I guess. I am so happy to run again! I was going crazy. My knee felt completely normal.

2 with Sasha and Preston in 16:37. I tried to outkick Preston but he beat me just barely. Did 8 with Sasha and Joseph in 1:02:31. Did a kick from the middle of the hill in 19. My knee is completely normal still, except for my left foot arch has been bothering me. Almost 60 degrees today! Also first day wearing my new multi colored crocs. My purple ones had just over 1000 miles.
At night I took Leigha for a half mile in 5:27.

1:01:09. It was 55 degrees, partly cloudy. This was the most pleasant, enjoyable run I have ever been on. It felt more peaceful than sleeping! Except for my quads were very sore. After the run my quads got extremely sore.

30:47 with Sasha and the 3 youngest boys. My right quad is so sore it might be injured. It hurts with every step. It was probably stressed from the knee injury. I am sick today and my lungs and heart feel very week, and I am achy. William decided to do a pickup after seeing the girl's xc team. He even took off his jacket to hopefully impress them as we passed. I could barely hold on to his pace.

33:05 at night. My right quad hurts but is not that bad. I am not sick today! I was going to taper for the half Marathon tomorrow but that got canceled because of snow. I am actually thankful it got canceled because these 2 weeks have been the hardest all year and I am not ready after being injured.

The winter series half Marathon got canceled which I am very happy about because I didn't do well today. 1 mile warmup then 7.5 mile workout in 51:43. Then 1.5 home. The first mile in the workout was 6:25 and  22:58 for 2.5. We did 2.5 down, 2 up, then 2 down. After 2.5 it was windy. My lungs tightened up and I couldn't breathe. It didn't feel like normal fatigued lungs, I just couldn't breathe in because they were so restricted and tight. My right quad is still not the best.

1:03:45 with Sasha and Jacob. My right quad still hurts. It had to snow again today, it was very slushy.

5 with william in 38:48, after procrastinating for a bit I did 3 by myself in 22:53. It was snowing hard. It was miserable.

8 in around 1:08:00. We went slower because we ran with a more untrained runner. 2 more in 15:08. Last uphill half mile was in 3:06. My quad is better.

Ran with William. Mile warmup in 9:20, then did 3x2000. 7:28 down, 8:08 up, 7:26 down. We did more of a half mile recovery and walked around too. I was surprised that the last was better, I felt more warmed up. I think I have not been mentally warmed up for workouts lately, and I go slower than I should. We did 3 in 25:30.

1:19:35. It feels like spring is finally coming! Days like this make me extremely thankful for running.

After 2 mile warmup did 3x2000 with half mile recovery. 7:25 down, 8:25 up, and 7:36 down. William stayed with me most the time. Ran 2 miles home in 18:00. 

1:02:58 I think. I felt very good after.

2 around 16:00 with Jacob and William. We ran to the track and I did 200 meters in 32 flat. 6 by myself in 46:30, last 0.155 was 48. A stranger said "Hey love" to me on the trail. It was almost 80 degrees! Just last tuesday class was canceled because of snow!

2 in 12:21 with Sasha. It was very windy, my lungs have also been feeling restricted lately. I used to struggle only after 1.25 of 6 min pace, now I am struggling at only 0.75. I am strong but I just can't breathe. Rest of the miles were around 8:00-9:00 pace.

At night leigha got a mile PR of 9:49! She is only 4! We ran 2 more in 16:00 flat.

1 in around 7:15 with william. Little later did 7 by myself in 54:45.

40:59

3 down the canyon in 18:22. This was the best run I have done in a while! My lungs didn't feel restricted nearly as much. I haven't felt like this since January, it made me very happy! The rest of the miles were around 8:30 pace with Sasha and Jacob, it was fun listening to Ukrainian music.

1:01:39. It was hard.

Around 1:05:00. Did 2,000 in 7:32 meters after 4.5 miles. There was lots of wind.

1:02:45. Felt a little burnt out but it was fine.

1:03:27. The easy day was hard.

Tapering for the 5k tomorrow. Did one with Leigha in 9:53, then one with the girls in 8:13, and 2 by myself in 14:23. I am very surprised with the energy I have after working 9 hours.

BYU Robinson Invitational 5,000 meter race. I got 20:07, 25/28. First mile was 5:53, then fell apart from there. The first mile felt nice though, but immediately after I couldn't go faster. I did my best but I don't understand why I couldn't go faster. 
Ran with the girls after I got home. Leigha did 10:40 I think, Then one with Mary in 8:40. I was exhausted so I didn't run more. I was more drained than the 10k. Went to bed early.

1:01:45 I think. The last mile pickup uphill was 6:25 (3:14, 3:11); it was hard. It is strange how I could run that after Saturday. Had lots of energy.

1:03:44 with Sasha and Jacob

Somewhere between 59:30 and 1:00:10, I can't remember. Did a 2 mile pickup at the end, uphill, in 13:12 (6:34, 6:38). It took a while to catch my breath afterwards. 

Did 800 meters on the track in 2:37.5. First 200 was 34, 400 was 72, 600 was 1:55. My lungs hurt so bad for a few minutes afterwards. After that we ran around 6.75 miles, I felt pretty good except for the last mile. I was dead after my run and took a nap, I had no energy to do anything. I also had brain fog from exhaustion. I probably should have taken it easy. 

25:00. Only got 6 hours of sleep but had lots of energy at work. Finally no nap this Friday! I did less so I wouldn't be burnt out tomorrow. My lungs also hurt still, but I am not coughing.

4 with Matthew in 25:27 (he got 25:26, I caught up to him a quarter to go and he would not let me pass). Did the first 2 with Stevie in 12:51. Mile splits: 6:32, 6:19, 6:19, 6:17. My lungs felt fine, and I didn't feel overtrained. When I got home I took a long nap. I drain myself of all energy, then I recover and do it again. I can't tell if I am stressed and lazy or simply need more rest. Probably both.

One in 8:44 with Maddie and everyone else, she got a PR! Did 7 with Sasha and Benjamin in 57:35. This was the easiest run in about 2 weeks. We stopped a lot also. Last week I was definitely burnt out. I got used to feeling burnt-out all the time, it is so nice to have energy after the run. I still wanted to do some kind of workout or pick up but was not allowed to.

800 meters on the track in 2:33.8. I think the 400 was 75, and the 600 was 1:53. My legs were fine but my lungs were extremely painful. It felt like I drank a cup of blood and inhaled glass shards. Did the rest of the miles at 9:00 pace. I got pretty bad track-hack. My lungs still hurt a lot.

1:04:23, we stopped twice. It felt good but I was a bit drained from yesterday. My lungs still hurt a lot in the morning but as I ran more they hurt less. It is just a little tight when I breathe very deeply. The 800 is the worst.

25:12. I felt great but for some reason I just wanted to be lazy all day. I worked 5 hours then took a nap and did nothing. I would have just ran in the morning but that makes working miserable. I always have tons of energy in the morning and night but then can't seem to function in the afternoon. I don't know if I am just lazy or need more rest and sleep. I think this is a sign I need to change some habits.

​47:46 at home. After working 8 hours I still had energy for once! I can't stand running in my neighborhood for even a mile so I have been running on the road amongst the cars.

5k race in 19:47 in Farmington. First half was between 9:21-9:25, probably not the wisest pacing. The course was bad but I think the training since the last 5k gave me a better time. Ran 1 mile with William at night in 9:53, that was all I had in me. I think I ran around 8 miles today.

Not running made me realize I actually have a ton of energy! I feel normal finally because I didn't drain all of my life from a morning run. I also didn't crash later in the day! I am getting too used to being drained all day; it feels weird to feel normal.

1:15:50. I recovered well but it wasn't a very easy run. I should also sleep around 8-9 hours instead of 6.5-7.5 hours. I think I will see lots of improvements if I just sleep better.

Around 1:16:50 I think. Sasha paced me for 2 after running 5 miles. I got 12:12, he got 11:59. The first mile was 5:58 I think. I think this is an improvement because on a day like this I would usually run 12:25. I got more sleep. I also went back to bed for almost 2 hours after the run. I don't feel tired finally but still weak. I know I am doing too much but I still just want to run more. Going to bed on time will solve most of my energy problems for the afternoon.

1:06:34 with William after working 8 hours. I finally felt normal today! I didn't realize how burnt out I was from running. I didn't need a nap and I had the stamina to be a normal, productive person today. It feels weird to have energy and not fall asleep every free minute of the day.

Warm-up mile in around 8:30. Did first 2 laps of Matthew's mile on the track in 2:57. 1 mile home in around 8:30. About an hour later I did 3 miles in 23:11. I took a nap in the afternoon and felt good after that. So happy I have energy! I am working 30 hours a week and taking 4 classes, so I can't be tired like before.

32:38. I forgot how hard it is to run at my house. It felt like a 7:50 pace effort. I hope the race will go better tomorrow because I am sleeping more.

2 mile warmup. 5k race at BYU again. I got 20:56, first quarter was 84, mile was 6:06 I think, the 3000 was 12:15. It was awful. I didn't struggle mentally, I just couldn't go faster. I think I am doing too much. Maybe I need more than one week to recover for races. After this race I was very sore. I don't understand why I was sore after this 5k but not the other 2 races. I didn't do anything. Later we did 1 with Leigha in 10:40 I think. Then around 9:15 with Mary, and 4 in around 34:00 with the boys.

Had lots of joint pain from being sore. Got better later though.

1:02:30 or something. I am not sore. I am extremely grateful I get to run in the canyon! I had a lot of anxiety for no reason, but the canyon gave me rest. I also felt a bit prompted that I am doing too much. I constantly want to go for a run and push to my max every day, but it is not working.

1:03:27. I was going to do a 5k track workout but felt strongly yesterday that I need to go easy. I have been slowly overtraining myself over a few months. This last month I experienced more fatigue than ever in my life, but I keep brushing it to the side. I felt exhausted running easy today also, and I am struggling mentally because I am so tired. All I want to do is run but it is making me miserable.

8.5 hours of sleep and no nap. 2 of my classes are twice the pace so I really am taking 6 classes worth. I am getting a bit burnt out. Around 10:10 with Leigha, 8:24 with Mary (she kicked in 97). 4 with William in 33:54. 2 by myself in 16:21 (last quarter was 90). 

8.5 hours of sleep. Did 8 in 1:03:04. My heart rate is still around 175 at easy pace. Going at 80-88% max heart rate is probably not the best for me. The runs don't feel that hard. It is difficult to know what "easy" or "hard" really feels like though because I have a higher pain tolerance. Maybe my post-run fatigue is a sign that it is still too much.

8.5 hours of sleep. 3 in 25:22, then 4 hours later did 3 in around 25:30. I don't know the exact distance or time for the last 3 because there was a herd of deer in the way. I would have ran more but my joints were done after no sitting down today. Not doing a midweek workout was a good choice I think. I haven't had fatigue for 3 days!

On my way to go run in the canyon my car stopped accelerating on the freeway, I pulled onto the shoulder lane and waited 5 minutes. Then I started it and it was just fine. Drove home with absolutely no problems. I decided to just stay home, but I don't know why a car would stop accelerating and then be completely fine afterwards.
3 in the morning in 24:47. From 10:30am-11:30pm straight, I studied biology to catch up and take an exam. I had no time this week to study and I did horrible on the exam. Ran 5 at midnight in 40:37. Did a quarter in 78 in the middle, last quarter was 88. I wasn't tired but it felt impossible to catch 8 minute pace.
Today has been the most confusing day of my life. The more I try to understand, the more confused I get. 

5.5 hours of sleep. Wanted to sleep more but had too much energy and stress.

7 hours of sleep (too much energy and stress to sleep). 
1 mile warmup, then attempted to run a 5k on the track. Sasha paced me. The goal was to do the 5k in 94s, which should be totally doable, but it seemed impossible today. We did the first mile in 6:20, started panicking at the 1k, at the 2k I was falling apart so I decided to do a 3k instead. Got 11:57. The panic was more physical, I only started mentally panicking when it felt extremely hard. I am very stressed from school and I think that played a big part. But, I am still extremely motivated and actually look forward to every workout. 
Ran 4 miles in 33:43. Calves are super sore. I am very tired now.

1:02:35. Heart rate got up to 192 and averaged 180-187 the whole time.

1:01:47. Today's run was interesting. I felt like I was having a slight panic attack the whole time. We did go pretty fast, but I shouldn't be struggling. I think I am getting panicked because I am struggling physically. I only felt panicked when I couldn't breathe. This pace was too fast. I could improve mentally though. College is very hard right now, and I don't have as much time to help others. I am focusing on myself too much and need to stop worrying all the time.

1:04:53. We did a half mile warmup up and then ran 1 mile downhill in 5:51. It felt hard, but it felt normal hard. The rest of the 6.5 miles were in 54:31. This pace felt perfect, I really believe I should be doing easy miles at around 8:15 pace. My HR was 160. Compared to 184, I think that is a big difference. I felt very good today with zero stress. 

2 in 17:31, then 30 min later did 2 in 17:11. I didn't try to push the pace. HR was around 150, which is still on the higher end I believe. This morning I pushed a quad stroller with 4 toddlers for a mile. It wasn't super hard but it felt like I ran 2 miles. 

For 2 miles did 200 meters with a 100 meter 30 second recovery. Averaged around 43-44, the last was 39. It felt pretty easy. After 3.5 miles I did a mile in 5:56. 2.5 easy miles after that in around 8:40 pace. I felt very good finally.

Had lots of school this week that I am failing to get done, it made me very stressed. I should put school first, so I am not panicking from stress when I run.

I am feeling like myself again. I didn't overtrain for once yesterday and now I have too much energy. I can't handle having energy, and I can't sit still. I just want to do a workout!  

Update: it was getting late and I couldn't control it, so I ran a mile in 7:19. I can't tell if it real energy or stress energy, either way I have too much.

1:01:11. We stopped 4 times. I had lots of heart palpitations when HR was around 188 up the canyon.

At 10:00 I ran 2 miles with the girls and Dennis (17 year old from Ukraine). 9:54 with bella, and 11:24 with Leigha. 

Didn't time it. First mile was 7:50 though, I am guesing we averaged 7:50 the whole way. It was harder to breathe on the way up, last mile was very difficult also. Had heart palpitations when it was hard to breathe. I don't think I should go this pace all the time; I don't remember easy runs being this hard. 

1 mile to the track in around 8:20. Sasha paced me for 3000 meters. I got 11:54. The goal was to go 95 each lap. First mile was 6:16, and the last lap was 94 I think. I was already struggling before the half mile. It felt just as hard as the last 3000 workout except I didn't panic at all. We went home in around 8:30 I think. Did a mile with Leigha in around 10:20 I believe. One by myself in 8:53. And 2 with William in 18:00. The last 3 miles were very hard. Took an hour nap even though I slept enough. I feel very drained.

1 with Leigha in 10:39, then 2 in 18:06 with Mary. 5 by myself in 41:10 I think. Ran a little over half a mile later. The rest of the day I helped Tim move out of his apartment.

2 in 16:38 with a 10 min stop. 3 in 26:13 (14:11 first 1.5 uphill). I didn't feel bad, I just felt heavy from working today and helping Tim move yesterday. 

0.75 miles running from Tim's apartment to the finish of Utah Valley Half Marathon. Tim did his first half marathon in 2:011:59. He was limping afterwards but is motivated to train for another!

Late in the morning we ran half a mile to the park with the girls in 5:45, then ran back in 6:52. Then did 4 with Matthew in 31:25. We did the last uphill half mile in 3:00. After a 30 min nap I did 0.5 in 3:58 then 4.5 by myself in 37:00. Last half mile uphill was 3:04.

Attemped to help shuttle the races to the start in my mom's van but the car battery died. I got up at 2:00 am to do that so I didn't get enough sleep. It was a challenge to get the run done.

4 in 33:34 I think. 6 with Sasha in 47:28. The last 2 miles were very hard.

1:05:44. The boys were going 8:00 min pace but that felt impossible so I slowed down. HR was 185-190 and I couldn't breathe. The pace I did was still hard. I wasn't overheated or dehydrated. I just want to run high mileage, but it seems I can't handle 10 mile runs. I used to think you could push yourself to anything you set your mind to. Now I see how easy it is to over do it. I know I am overreaching.

35:10. Did 4 to taper for the 3000 tomorrow. It was hot and hilly, but on the same course and temperature I don't usually go that slow. I was a bit sore. 

1 in the morning in 8:10. State meet today at Timpanogos high school. 5 min warmup (8:30 pace). 3k race, got 11:49. I got 1st/3. First mile was 6:07, first lap was 84 I think. At 3 laps the inevitable blow up happened like usual. I know I didn't push as hard as I could. I am afraid of going too hard. I still feel like I should be faster though, even my slow 5k's 3000 was faster than this. I think gaining weight is slowing me down too; I gained 5 pounds since January. I don't think it should affect me that much, I am doing something wrong.

1 with Leigha screaming on the track, I think in 11:14. 1 with Maddie and Benjamin in 11:01, it was fun talking about their marriage. 1 by myself in 8:19.

I am pretty sore. Did 4 with William in 35:23 I think (I know we did slower than 35:00). 1 with just Bella and Mary in 9:36. They didn't complain once. Without the boys this was the most calm run I have ever done with the girls. 1 more with just Sasha in 7:58, I felt good finally.

Mile warmup, then did 0.5 with Stevie in 3:05, he has something wrong with his foot. After 0.5 easy I did 0.75 in 4:29. I am still pretty sore, it was very hard. I don't know the times for the other miles, around 8:15-8:45 pace. 41:51 for the last 5 miles. I didn't get much sleep because I ran too late last night. Tried to sleep for 2 hours after the run. Still tired, the whole week I had more than normal fatigue. Actually for a few months, 90% of the time I am dragging.

I think I am low on iron. Something is not right. When I run I just sleep all day. When I don't run I feel very calm and normal but not very active. Usually, I can't sit still on rest days and have hyperactive problems. 

1 in 7:06, then 20 min later did 8 in 1:02:43. I felt very good and energetic except for the last mile. I wasn't pushing the pace. After going around 8:20 pace uphill I started hyperventilating. Stopped for a few minutes while HR only got down to 115. I've had breathing problems before on easy runs, but this time I felt like I was suffocating. The last quarter uphill was the same. I went slow but when I finished my lungs were extremely tight and I couldn't breathe. 
later in the day I had normal energy but I got out of breath from simple tasks like standing up and going up stairs. 

Did 2 miles at 8:00 pace. Then did 1 in 5:57 with five minutes of rest before doing 1 in 5:53! I felt very good. Did 41:30 for 5.25 miles. Only got 6.5 hours of sleep. The rest of the day I had good energy but just needed sleep. I don't understand why yesterday was so hard when I did so much less and ate and slept enough. 

1:09:04. We stopped several times so it was a very easy run. My energy has been pretty good now. Still had to lay down for 2 hours to feel normal. I need to get more sleep at night though.

1:06:11 by myself. Stopped a couple times.

6 in 49:10 by myself, then an hour later did 2 with William in 17:37. Julia returned today!!

2 in around 16:15, then 2 with Sasha in 12:17. He dropped me at 1.25. The first mile was 5:59, the last quarter was 89. I didn't start struggling till 1.25; I usually struggle at 0.75 since when I got slower. I think I did pretty decent because I only got about 6.25 hours of sleep. Did a mile in around 8:30, then 3 to the house in 24:39. 

I am beginning to realize why I love running so much. I sat around too much after my run so I got some energy. I just have a normal amount of energy but I can't seem to handle it. If I go too long without running or sit too much, I will have really strong ADHD symptoms. I hate feeling like I have trapped energy, so I run it off. I just wonder what would happen if I exercised as much as the average person. I am making assumptions, but I'd probably be diagnosed with it. I remember my whole life craving to get this energy out of me. I am so grateful for running.

1:02:49. Felt good and had better energy all day. I have had more energy lately after my runs. I think it is because I dropped out of 2 classes. 

3 with Matthew in 21:41, it was very hard. 0.5 in 4:02, then 1 in around 10:30 with the girls. 1 by myself in around 8:30. 3.5 with William in 30:34. 

1:04:32. After 4 miles in 34:00 I did 2 miles down the canyon. 50 meters in I caught up to a XC team of boys. They were fit. I passed them going at a pace to drop them, but they decided to stick with me. They stayed the whole way and encouraged me when I was struggling. I got 11:57! I think it has been 5 months since I broke 12:00! Got 83, 2:57, 4:27, 5:58, can't remember 1.25, 1.5 was 9:00, then 10:34. Last quarter was 83. This was the fastest and hardest I have done in a while, but I couldn't slow down or the boys would pass me. I would not have gotten that time without those boys. I was even considering cutting it short because it was so hard going up the canyon. Last 2 miles were 18:35, stopped multiple times because I couldn't breathe. After Stopping for 10 minutes my HR was at 135 while just standing.

Blood work finally came back; had overall good results. Iron is actually on the higher end, except ferritin is a bit lower–19 (normal is 6-67ng/dL) not something to worry about though. My iron is plenty high to cause no problems. I will need to supplement vitamin D though. I had 26, normal is 40-60ng/dL. That could cause some problems. Calcium is high–10.7. It should be at 8.9-10.4mg/dL. Lymphocytes are low, had zero eosinophils, and low neutrophils. All of that indicates I am under some stress even though I am not sick. It could be low because I ran 2 hors befor getting blood drawn. 

I'll need to focus on getting vitamin D up. It is good to know that the iron levels are all good, but it will mean I need to change others things that could be slowing me down. The results signify I am under too much stress.

2 with the girls, probably in 18:20-19:00. 1 in around 8:30, 2 in 16:38, then 2 in 17:21. It is hard to breathe.

6 in 50:03 in the morning, then 2 in 15:38 in the evening.

About 2 in 16:38. Did 3 down the canyon in 18:58. Did 6:00, 6:26, and 6:32. Last quarter was 87. After 2 miles I let go and stopped fighting. I was too afraid of feeling bad afterwards. To help, I need to prioritize recovery so that I can feel better after a workout and let go of the fear. I feel like I am getting stronger again. I only have one class so I am not suffering from stress. The stress made me very weak.

Did 2 in 18:39 and did a little over 3 in around 26:00. 
 

3 in 26:36 I believe. Sasha and I ran to the car shop – around 4.5 miles in around 36:20. Did 0.5 with William in 4:14. 
Started taking 4000 IU of vitamin D today

Did 4.25 in 33:40, then Sasha paced me for 2. I got 12:17 – 6:04, 6:13. Slowed down after 0.75, kicked the last 200 in 42. It was very hard and I didn't want to feel pain so I didn't push. Too much fear. Last 1.75 was in 16:11. 
Took a 2 hour nap and felt exhausted all day. I am afraid of running my best because I hate feeling like this every time.

Did 2 in 15:38, 1 with the girls in 10:22, 1 by myself in 9:08, 2 in 17:04, then 2 in 16:55.

1.25 in 10:12, then did a mile PR down the canyon with Sasha in 5:38 - 79, 2:47, 4:16. 2.25 miles home in around 20:00. Did around 3.5 with Sasha to the car in 30:00. The first mile was 7:58 but I couldn't keep the pace. Even when we slowed down my HR was around 184-196 the whole time. It was extremely hard to breathe. Didn't function very well later in the day. I am not a lazy person but I find myself taking a nap and resting at every opportunity. I don't think life has to be this way, I am getting tired of this lifestyle. 

33:02. Did the first with William. My family decided to do a photoshoot right when I needed to run, so I had to run at night. I had energy today, it felt so good! I don't think my workouts are good for me. Even when I take care of myself I still can't function at all. Easy tasks almost seem impossible and I feel miserable.

1 in 8:03, then 2 down the canyon in 12:21. The first mile was 6:00 and the last quarter was 91. I definitely could have done better but I think my body is telling me to do less. I feel overtrained. Did around 5 in around 42:00 (at least 8:20 pace).

47:50. Easiest run in a long time. I didn't feel exhausted afterwards. I need to cut it back to see if I am overtraining. I am very sad I have to run less.

5.84 in 46:31. It wasn't a struggle to breathe for once. I can actually hit 8:00 without HR going over 190. I also don't feel extremely fatigued afterwards. I am not used to feeling good, it almost feels wrong to be able to function normally.

48:04, first 4 were 31:11. I slowed down to be less tired tomorrow. I could actually breathe! For the past couple months I haven't been able to hit 8:00 pace with HR less than 183. Today it was 10 lower and I was going faster. 

Went to Pocatello for regionals. Did around a 1.5 mile warmup, then raced the 3k. I got 11:40. Same time as Matthew got I think. 86, 2:58, 4:31, 6:02 (I think), 7:37. I forgot the rest but the last 200 was in 45. I think I was overheated a bit. I also didn't push to my max. It is much harder to push myself than before. I could definitely tell I was less overtrained though. I wasn't burnt out right away.

3 in 26:20 with Sasha and Julia. Sasha taught me a Russian song about spies. Then 3 with Matthew in 26:22. The last 3 were hard. We stopped a lot because Matthew wanted to torture a grasshopper. I felt lazy, lethargic, and depressed throughout the day. I don't think it is normal for me to feel like this, I am doing something wrong.

4 in 34:02 with William, then 2 by myself in 16:00 and 2 in 16:19. I kicked the last quarter in 84. I felt pretty good, I still just go slow though. I feel heavy and out of shape.

48:25 in 80 degrees. HR didn't go past 180 I believe, which is very good. This is how my 8 miles used to feel, but now 6 miles tires me out almost the same.

Half mile warmup in 4:13 then did 3x1200 with 200 recovery with Sasha. Did 4:23, 4:26, 4:26. Doing this made me realize that I need to be more tough. The last interval was very hard but not nearly as hard as a PR effort. Did around 9:50 pace for 1.25 miles and 8:40- 8:10 pace for the rest of the miles.

48:16 by myself. The first 3 were 25:30, the last 0.155 uphill was in 49. I felt very good on the way back; going 7:30 pace hasn't felt that good in a long time.

1 in 8:50 I think, then did 2 in 14:01 with Stevie. About 3.2 in in 28:41. Heart rate was at 194-198 for most of the last 3. Was probably dehydrated.

4 in 31:57. The last uphill half mile was 3:28. 1 to the track with the girls in 9:00. They did a 4x400 relay, I did the whole mile. We got 6:21. I didn't realize how fast they were. We did a mile back in 9:12. 

1 in 8:00 I think. I did one of Matthew's intervals and got 4:16 for 1200 meters. Did 4 home in 33:00. It felt like I was going way faster than that, but I guess I wasn't.

This experiment is going well, I have much more energy and haven't taken a nap all week! I don't have this lingering fatigue anymore throughout the day. I still hope for the day when I can run and feel energized afterward. I still think I should be a bit less tired and slow.

I was studying iron today and I think I should still try to increase it. My ferritin is normal for average people but is considered rather deficient for runners. Performance declines are seen with only 25 ng/mL ferritin. Mine is 19 ng/mL, which is considered deficient for athletes. That could make a noticeable disadvantage in running. It is recommended to have ferritin of at least 35 ng/mL for runners. Since my hemoglobin and TIBC are higher I assumed that I was fine. You can definitely be deficient even with that; it is important to keep the ferritin stores higher also. 

3 in 24:17 by myself. 2 with Bella and Julia in 18:12, then 1 with Jacob in 7:11. I attempted to take my exam for Nutrition class but my computer stopped working! I frantically searched for another laptop to take it. With William's help I got the exam ready. But, by then I only had 13 minutes do 100 questions. I of course did horrible and got 29/100 because I ran out of time. I was so stressed afterward that I did a mile in 7:32 at midnight, william came along too.

Did a 1 mile warmup then did 3x1200. Got 4:16, 4:35, 4:40. I knew it was going to be bad because I stayed up too late. I put in an honest effort but I couldn't go faster. I didn't have a watch but the next mile was close to 10:00 pace. I assume the rest of the miles were also. I probably did the last 3 in around 27:00-29:30. I had to walk some parts because I had nothing left. It was very hard.

I went to SLC to a young women's activity with the Russian speaking branch and then visited a Russian friend. I got home at 11:30. At midnight I did 3 with William in 24:50, and 2 alone in 16:30. Went to bed at 1:00. I have been going to bed at 1:00 for over a week. Although I like going to bed at that time I need to stop. My goal is to go to bed at 11:00 every night. 

1 mile in around 8:10, then did 2x1200. Got 4:21 and 4:32. Obviously I need more sleep, I was also a bit sore. I did 3 more in 27:15, I was too tired, sore, and dehydrated.

4 in 34:11 by myself, then 1 in around 10:40 with the girls, and a little over 1 by myself in 9:00. I went slow because it was too hot.

All the boys did the Steel Days 10k except I didn't sign up. We did a half mile warmup and then me, William, and Matthew paced Stevie for 4 miles in 32:28. We left him doing the last mile fast. William got around 6:00, Matthew got 6:15, I got 6:18. I finished the 10k in 47:55 I think. We took a bathroom stop for one min at mile 2.

49:46. The last 3 miles were in 25:37. I should probably eat before running.

In Oregon we did 2 with everyone in around 19:00. Did a little over 2 in 17:00, and 2 more in 16:14. 

Did around 3 in around 8:00-8:15 pace in the morning. At night we did 2 in 17:00, and then I did 1 with Sasha in 6:51. This small town reminds me of my hometown except it is much better. Yet, it reminded me of many bad memories from my childhood that gave me a little panic attack. I have never experienced that feeling like this before. Exercise helps get rid of the negative energy, I just wanted to run all night to get rid of the anxiety. I did some little exercises inside because Sasha wouldn't let me run faster.

Started taking 65 mg of iron supplement today to get ferritin up. I did 1000 meters on the track in Oregon in 3:36. It felt so good. Can't remember the times for the other miles. Did 1 in around 8 min and the others around 9:00.

I did around 0.25 with the girls to the track in around 2:30. At the track I did 400 meters with Mary in 1:40. Tried to convince her to go again for a couple minutes and got her to do another in 97. I got her to run without causing a mental breakdown so that was a plus. By myself I did 2 miles on the track in 15:54. We went back to the park for 0.25 in around 2:30. 
Later we drove to the beach. The beach was extremely nice but on the way there and pack I had a ton of anxiety. It wasn't anxiety for the race. The Oregon's forests remind me of many bad memories from the past.

Today is National's in Eugene Oregon. Ran around the Hayward Field building throughout the morning. Got checked in at 11:10am and got to go in the best waiting area. A couple girls thought my crocs were interesting. The check-in lady thought my shorts were too long. I wear what works best. I seem to run best in basketball shorts and crocs haha. I guess I get much more attention. 
I did about a 3 min warmup. This race was very memorable with the giant screen and fancy stadium. I got 9th/20 in 11:09 for the 3000 meters. I was 9 seconds away from 8th to get a title. It was very fun not surging for the first 100 meters in the back and then passing the girls. I just wish I had higher ferritin to see what I could really get for this race. I had a much faster goal and was on track for a while but something happened after January. Hopefully my lower ferritin level is the main inhibitor.

In Boise we did 4 in 30:41, 1 in 11:07, and 1 in 7:40 by myself.

3 in 24:37 and then 3 in 24:41 going down the road in Elk Ridge. I think today was a sign that I am getting better. Maybe the iron is even helping already. Usually running here is extremely hard and I it is very hard to breathe at this pace. It felt quite easy and relaxing. I noticed a huge improvement in effort compared to a few weeks ago.

Around 6 (measured by gps) in 48:19. Ran around Snow college because I am at FSY. Somehow managed to run at a decent pace after not eating for 14 hours and not very much. The food here is very unhealthy. 

Did around 6 miles in 48:22. 

I didn't get enough sleep to run in the morning so I had to find a way to do it during FSY. The councilors would not let us out of the campus so I ran something around the football field during the dance. A boy (his name is Boston) agreed to run with me earlier and he also got 2 of his friends to join. His friends Ben and Jeremy did 1 mile in around 10:00 and he did 2 in around 19:00. I did one more in around 7:45. I think the boys were impressed by my fitness haha. They were struggling but enjoyed it.

Today was supposed to be horrible but instead went extemely well. Just got back from FSY with around 5.5 hours of sleep, ate horrible food all week, and didn't train the best. We did a mile warmup and then tried to do a 2 mile fartlek. The goal was 86 then 94 for each quarter. The first half mile was 2:58 and the last 200 meters were in 34.9! I cant remember the other splits. We finished in 12:06! It felt different than normal. I had stamina and didn't feel like I was suffocating right away. I've been taking the iron for only 10 days but I really think it is helping! This workout felt like how I used to feel before I got slower. There wasn't a single moment where I just shut down. I believe the iron and decrease mileage are helping becuase I am not having breathing problems at easy pace, I recover faster, and have loads more energy throughout the day. I am so happy to finally see a little improvement after 5 months of fatigue!

3 in the morning in 24:41, then around 3.25 with William at night in around 26:00. I did the last 0.155 in 48. The morning run was a bit hard but after a bit I got way too much energy. I could not focus on any of my tasks and could not hold still. I thought I was going crazy. I tried many exercises but didn't want to get sore to ruin tomorrow's workout. I just wish I could have used that energy for good, instead I just went crazy.

Did a mile warmup then 2 down the canyon in 11:58! I am so happy to break 12:00! Tried to do a fartlek workout with Matthew but did 82, 95, 85, 95, 89, 95, 92 (pretty sure), 44 and 40. This workout was very satisfying, if felt very nice. I strongly believe the iron is playing a key role. Running feels so easy and different now. I am still in awe that I don't  have difficulty breathing now. Matthew dropped out at 1.25 and finished with around 12:30. I didn't tell him to stay with me and he got very angry that I dropped him. We did 2 more in 18:00. At night I did 1 in 6:43. 
I still have too much energy! The last time I did 2 miles in 11:57 I could barely get home and had major fatigue all day. Instead, as soon as I finished the workout it was hard to hold still from excess energy. I still couldn't focus all day and couldn't hold still. I feel like I have severe ADHD with this energy. I feel too good, and can't sit and focus at all. It is driving me nuts.

Did 2 with Sasha in 15:42. I am so happy because it felt so easy! I can finally breathe at easy pace!!! I did 4 by myself at 11:00 pm in 32:52.

Mile warmup in 7:52, then did 2 miles with Matthew and Sasha in 12:31, except they got 12:07, I dropped out at around 1.25. I was still tired from running late and not sleeping enough. I was also sore. I did 3 miles by myself in 27:03, it was very hard. I couldn't breathe and had to stop a lot. Had low energy throughout the day.

50:29. I tried the Spanish Fork trail. It is extremely beautiful but too short, only about 3 miles long. Maybe it's longer, it's hard to tell.

6 in 45:51 in the canyon with the last half mile in 2:52. Did 2 in the neighborhood in 16:36. I haven't done 8 miles in a while, I wish I could run more every day.

4 in 31:47, and 1 with the girls in 10:15. Did 1 with Mary and Bella. Mary got 8:56 and Bella dropped us and got 7:46.

4 in 34:18 and 2 in 16:01. I was slower because I worked for 8 hours and was constantly moving.

Did a one mile warmup then Sasha paced me for 3 miles. I got 19:01. Did 6:00, 6:25, and 6:36. I felt good throughout and didn't crash until 1.25 on the hill. The first mile felt much easier than usual. I was just too afraid of going faster and wasn't ready to do this big workout. I felt very tired throughout the day but not as bad as usual.

51:58 at the Spanish Fork trail. It was hot and I was still a bit drained from yesterday.

3 in the morning in 25:14 and 3 at night in 26:43. It is hard to go faster on this road at home. I am still struggling with weird energy levels. Some days I have too much I can't focus and some days I don't have enough to stay awake. Exercise and sleep don't effect it so maybe it is more of a hormone problem. 

On the last 3 miles of the last quarter I experienced a miracle. I believe I could have died or gotten seriously injured. A car was coming close so I stepped off the road for 3 seconds to let it pass me safely, then I started running again. After about 10 feet of running a deer comes bolting out of someone's yard to get away from a dog, exactly 3 seconds in front of me. If that car was not there to make me stop I would have gotten clobbered by that deer that was going extremely fast. Right before this incident I was thinking about the hymn Come Unto Jesus where it says "oh know you not that angels are near you", I was also pondering God's power in my life and deeply wanted to have Him in my life more. I think think this was a sign that God is in control and angels are watching out for me. 

2 mile warmup in around 16:00, then Sasha paced me for 3 miles. He dropped me at 1.25 but I finished in 19:00 with 6:02, 6:32, and 6:26. The last quarter was in 88. Went home in 18:24 for 2. I decided to not fight my exhaustion and slept another 2 hours. I got enough sleep, I just can't function after runs. At 3:00 in 85 degrees, Jonas Boekweg came over to run. He did 1 in 8:31; it was a slight struggle for him. Sasha told us to pace better and he got 6:54! I don't think he wanted to let me down, he pushed really hard. He is now "qualified". Sasha gave him a training plan and Jonas wants to continue running.
 

1 with Leigha and Ashlyn in 10:03 (Ashlyn got around 9:50). 1 with Bella in 7:51. Did 4 by myself in 33:53. I was trying to go faster but couldn't breathe, it felt abnormally hard. It wasn't too hot, maybe not enough fuel. I don't remember feeling like this before I got slower, especially after running a slow workout and resting plenty. Jonas told me he ran 4 today. He did 2 slower with his sister and 2 faster by himself.

3 in the morning at my house in 25:14, 3 in the evening in Orem in 24:32, and 2 with Mary in 17:51. 

Did a 2 mile warmup in around 16:00, it felt hard. I still don't know what "easy pace" should feel like. Sasha paced me and Matthew for 2 miles in 12:03. I am happy with this workout but it still leaves me wondering why I am still so far from my PR, why I am regressing, and how I could possibly get faster. I didn't fall back till 1.25 after the hill, then caught up on the last 200 meters in 39. I've noticed that a good workout is predicted by how soon I "crash". Each workout it seems that I crash at a different place - the slow workouts usually get bad at 0.75. Although I've gotten a bit faster from decreased mileage and more iron, I am still missing some things.

Today was the first day of fall semester. I wasn't as drained from the workout as usual. Today is also when I retired my rainbow crocs.

3 in the morning in 25:39 and 3 at night in 24:10 (last quarter was 78). First day in my white crocs, it feels so much better. Jonas told me he ran 3.2 around the Provo temple. He ran every day except Sunday and Tuesday. 

4 in 33:02 I think (the first 2 were 17:10). 2 with Mary in 9:12 and 8:55.

3.5 in 29:00, then 1 in 6:03, and the last 2.5 in 21:02 I think. I kicked the last 0.155 uphill, can't remember the time. I realized that I am running all of my easy miles much slower than I used to. I am doing that on purpose partly because it saves more energy for the day, but it is also a bit upsetting that I am running slower and less miles. I hope this "laziness" is good for me and not just making me out of shape.

46:43. First time going this fast in a while.

7:50. Couldn't run in the morning and was very tired after working a bit.

2 miles in around 18:00 and then did 2 with Sasha in 11:56! I didn't blow up at all, and even had a negative split. The first mile was in 5:59. I've been taking iron for a month and I think it has helped. I still think there is something I am doing wrong. I need to focus on eating enough of the right things at the right time. I think I was faster in the winter because I ate breakfast before every hard workout. I might be crashing every tempo run because I need more food. I also need to somehow eat a meal after I run at school. It is not smart to run at 8:00 am and eat nothing but a banana till 5:00pm.

At night I did a mile with Julia in 9:02. I started to get sick and was exhausted so didn't finish.

2 in the morning in 17:11 and 4 at night: first mile was around 8:25, other 3 were in 25:18. I still got the 2 miles in after working 9.5 hours. I think I should just do 4 on workdays though. I think it is too difficult to attempt all the miles. They end up being very bad quality anyways for a ton of effort.

47:45 I think, not sure. 

2 miles in around 16:00 then attempted to do 2 miles. Sasha stopped me at 1.25 with 7:36. It is frustrating because I was doing my best but could not keep up. The workout failed most likely because I didn't sleep enough, eat well enough, or recover all the way. I felt very good the whole day because the flopped workout didn't drain me at all. I had a ton of energy in the morning with only 6.5 hours of sleep and was super excited to do a workout. I just hope it failed only because I needed more sleep. I really need to focus on my health in all areas to get faster. Since college started I have been doing almost all of the wrong things and I'm going to pay for it.

49:58. It was kinda slow but I didn't stop at all. I haven't ran without a stop in a while.

1 in the morning in 8:17 and 4 at night in 24:00.

A mile warmup in 7:52 I think, then did 2 miles in 11:52! The first mile was 5:53. I didn't crash at all and wasn't expecting the first mile to be so nice. I can definitely tell something has changed that is giving me a lot more stamina. I just need to stop worrying about the pain I will feel afterwards and just do my best. Ever since I've been taking iron and running less I am able to feel good right after a workout without stubborn fatigue. I forget that I can actually run faster because I was stuck for so many months and got used to being slow.
I felt good the whole day except I am not eating enough. I need to find a way to eat while at school. If I don't change this I am never going to get much better.

Down the canyon after work in around 33:00 with William.

2 in around 17:00 then did 2 in 13:25 for Stevie's workout. The last 2 were around 16:00. I am happy that the faster 2 miles felt easy. It actually felt just as hard as running easy pace when I was overtraining. Last time I did a run around that pace it felt pretty hard. I feel so much better.

I still need to eat more food during school. It is probably not good to do a workout and then have zero protein till 4:00pm. 

2 in around 16:00, then did 2 in 11:49! The first mile was 5:50, 1.25 - 7:19, 1.5 - 8:53, 1.75 - 10:25. The last 200 meters were in 41. I am having a lot of fun with my progression. I am still not crashing half way through, it feels very smooth throughout. Did the 3 with William in 26:00. 
I fell right when we started running and got scraped up. I fall about once a year. I am just grateful I am done getting blisters from dance. I'll take scapes any day.

 I am especially grateful that it is easier to recover. I don't feel dead after running really hard and can still do my normal tasks. Before, I would get home and lay in bed for hours. I also have much better work and school stamina.

47:56. Got a Vasa membership. I hate spending money but I feel like I should waste it on this. I am curious to see if weight training can improve my running. I did some shoulders and core with Josh. I need to make a plan that will support running.

3 with William in 24:45 and 1 by myself in 7:42. It is amazing how I now have energy to work 10 hours and run some while not sleeping enough at all. 

Did a mile warmup and then did 2 in 12:17. I haven't slept enough the whole week and was super sore still from Monday. It's kinda nice to know that my bad day is just as good as what my all out effort used to be.

I worked all day and went to dance class for the first time since May I think. There is never enough time. 
The day was mentally torturous. Since Tuesday night I had a lot of repressed memories that I just now remembered. It was such a dark and confusing memory that I completely forgot about it till it got triggered. If there weren't others that told me it did happen I would have thought I made it up myself.

49:30. I couldn't fall asleep till 4:30 and got up at 7:30. I was able to run but when I got back I was miserable. Skipped a class the first time this semester.

48:42. After a mile I did one fast with Sasha and a random guy in 5:47. My hamstrings are sore and have a cold since Thursday. Probably got sick from being stressed.

48:28 with William. The trauma that I experienced is not giving me anxiety anymore. Talking to my mom helped. I am grateful for all the people in my life who make me so happy! I am also getting much less flashbacks and it doesn't make me panic anymore!

2 with Julia in 17:38 and 2 with the girls in 18:40 I think. The anxiety was gone all day but when talking to a boy I started to panic from flashbacks. I feel like I am victimizing myself, but at the same time what happened is serious. I wasn't exactly hurt when it happened but it feels like my soul is wounded. This has been a problem for 2.5 months, and I fit the criteria for PTSD. I think I am resolving it on my own but if it goes on I should go to therapy. I don't like playing the victim but I shouldn't be experiencing this much anxiety about a memory.

Did a mile and then did 2 in 12:10. I fell back at 1.5 with 9:02. 3 home with Matthew in 25:23. I haven't slept enough and I am stressed from school. I just want to sit and cry, but I have too much to do. But I am happy that I am not a slave to my fear anymore and I am not as disturbed by bad memories.

Did 4 with William in 32:30 I think.

48:52. Doing a lot better mentally, I need to focus on more positive things.

Did a mile in 8:00 then attempted a workout. Ran as far as I could while staying on 6:00 pace. Did 90, 87, 90, 90, 90, 94. Stopped at 1.5 with 9:01. Did the last 3 in around 25:00. My running has been horrible all week. I am exhausted from anxiety, school, and lack of sleep. I am a mess but doing my best to get back on track.

47:21 in like 85 degrees; it was hard. William was on the bike while I ran. 

1 in 10:22 and 1 in 9:27 with the girls. Did 3 with Julia in around 27:00. I'm still struggling mentally from the trauma long time ago. Just having minor panic attacks throughout the day. It's been very hard to focus on school lately.

Did a mile warmup then went as far as I could holding 6 min pace. Got to 1.5 in 9:06. I am still struggling mentally and not sleeping enough. I feel like I'm being very dramatic but I should get help. 

Around 8:20 pace for all of them. Did 400 meters on the track with William, he got 68, I got 73. Even though I get the most anxiety around William (He reminds me of the person a bit), William is helping me get better mentally. He is teaching me to worry less I guess because he is safe. I also signed up for therapy today.

49:13

2 mile warmup, don't know the pace. Went as far as I could holding 6:00 pace. Made it to 1.25 with 9:03 (last quarter was in 95). Ran home with william in 8:00 pace. 

I am so thankful for General Conference! I don't understand why I am so traumatised by my memories or why I had so much fear. With each talk I felt more free, I no longer feel like a slave to my fears. I now really understand I can do all things with Christ. I also love President Nelson's talk; I need to think Celestial in all I do. I see no room for fear when I am thinking about who I will become. I am going to therapy tomorrow but I don't think I need it as my problems have literally washed away.

47:33. After General Conference weekend I feel very different. I am noticing how much less negative self talk I am doing and I am not being controlled by fear. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and His gospel! I decided not to go to therapy because I don't know what needs help anymore. My memories don't have power over me anymore.

Not sure how far but ran to Good Earth with William in around 21:30.

1 mile warmup and then did 2 in 12:04. Ran to the car in around 9:20 pace. First mile was in 6:00, last quarter was 94. It was hard to get myself to push. I feel so mentally weak; everything is making me stressed. I have no more anxiety from PTSD but I am very behind in school because of it.

With William we did about 2.8 miles in around 8:20 pace. I was so exhausted mentally from working 10 hours, failing at school, and family stress. 

Did one in 10:10 with Leigha and one in 8:43 with the other girls. Ran to Good Earth with William in around 21:00. Doing better mentally. I feel so week and pathetic. I have been struggling for 22 days. I never thought I could struggle so much because I thought I was tough. I need to remember that I am tough and life is beautiful. I just want life to be easy, I just want peace.

One in 7:57 then did 1.75 in 10:32. I broke contact at 1.5 with 9:03, I had to dig deep for the last quarter. I am doing very well mentally. The rest of the miles were 8:00 pace. It was very hard to breathe, maybe I should take iron again. I took Gideon to the canyon and we ran a mile but with lots of stops, around 8:00 pace. I am grateful I am not as stressed, I need to focus on improving mentally though because I am getting thrown of course so easily.

47:17. It was a very good day. Teaching English every Sunday makes me very happy and that happiness makes my Monday better. I procrastinated too much though when I got home and I am drowning in school and keep on sinking deeper every day.

Did around 5.75 in around 47:00 with William. I only worked 4 hours and somehow managed to waste all my study time on doing useless stuff. I am so stressed. I had a nightmare of the sexual abuse last night, I think stressed caused it. Some things are going good though. William has a secret and won't tell me what it is, I think he wants to DTR or something. Did homework till 1:00 am, William emotionally supported with classical music.

1 mile warmup then did 1.5 in 9:03, the rest of the distance was in around 9:00 pace. Did about 0.5 running to classes. I really need to reduce stress but I don't know how. I need to go on my phone less and be more strict with my schedule.

I think I did 4, not sure how fast.

47:20 I think.

Did 2 in 12:00. The rest were around 9:00 pace. Got to see the solar eclipse while on the trail!

47:53

1 in 10:16, 1 in 8:40, and 2 in 16:40.

Did one in around 8:00 then attempted to do 2 but instead I struggled to do one in 6:00. Ran 2 more in around 16:30. After school I ran 2.5 in 19:50 with William, then did chest with Tim and William at the gym. 

After watching the Rachmaninoff symphony No.2 with William, we ran 4 in around 33:00. 

Did 3 with William at night in around 25:00.

1 mile warmup then did 2 in 11:54! William helped me at the end. I kicked in 84. The last 3 were in 26:34. 2 hours later I did a 45 min workout for legs.

I am extremely sore from leg day and it hurts to do anything.

1 in 8:30 then did William's last 800 meters of his mile on the track in 2:40. He did 5:23 for the mile. I was already extremely sore and it hurt to go easy pace. The fast 800 wasn't to hard on my legs but it destroyed my lungs. Walked/jogged home. Could barely run because of lung pain. Did one more in 9:07. All day my legs and lungs hurt.

7:54. I worked 10 hours and had homework so I was exhausted. I want to run more but I need energy for school.

6 with William after school. We did it around 8:15 pace. We did a half mile pickup up hill in 3:01. My lungs still hurt. Did 2 more with the girls, 9:56 and 8:59.

At night did 3 with William in 24:31.

Did 1.75 in 10:34. Did a 94 even though I was trying to kick so I just stopped. My lungs get very tight in the cold. Did the rest at around 8:05 pace. At 10:30 I did 3 with William in about 24:30.

Went to Tim's gym with William in the morning, we did legs. At 4 I ran 6 with William in 47:00. I felt super good today and had too much energy. 

50:46 with William, 

7:30

Tried to do 3x1200. Got 4:18 and 4:25, tried to do one more but struggled to do 0.5 in 3:01. Ran home around 8 min pace.

Did 4 in around 32:30, then did 2 later in 16:36.

Around 8:15 pace.

One mile warmup then ran the USATF 5k. Got 22:20 I think the first kilometer was 4:05, don't know the rest. I got a super slow time but it was very hard. Ran one more mile at 9:00 pace.

46:54 I think.

7:48. Worked 9.5 hours. I have been seriously burnt out mentally from school and anxiety. I am so excited for this semester to end. I am extremely behind in all my school.

Did one and then 3x1200. Did the first in 4:17, the 200 recovery was about 1:00. The second was in 4:30 with a 4 min rest. Did the last with Stevie in 4:25. I was struggling behind him but somehow kicked the last quarter in 85. Did the rest in about 8:10 pace. I know I am much slower from the beginning of the year. I think I'll improve when I finish this semester.

7:11. I'm trying to fight burnout and I think the best option is to run less. Worked 7.5 hours. I had very good energy all day. I just feel tired mentally.

At night with William in around 25:30.

Did not do a workout out because I did not earn it this week from bad training. I did that on purpose though so I could study better and be less burnt out. It helped and I feel much better.

Did 4 with William in 32:00 then did 2 myself in 15:37. I am so happy because I really feel like the PTSD has just gone away. It's been way better lately and now I don't have any problems. I feel better than I have all semester. It is just sad because my goal was to stay on top of homework this semester but I ended up being more behind than I ever imagined.

Did not run. I worked almost 10 hours and I just want to do nothing.

47:51. After the 3 mile turnaround did a quarter in 90 and another in 84. William ran the first half mile with me but he got angry that I wasn't talking enough so he left. He needs to learn that I'm not going to entertain him all day and he needs to not freak out about everything.

7:08.

47:55.

I think I did 3, might have done 6.

I think I ran 3 in under 24 min

I didn't run but I hiked the Y and it made my hips sore.

26:47. Did the Turkey Race in Orem. After 2 miles a girl ran with me to the end. She finished 3 sec behind. Her name is Mercy, it was cool that I have finally found a girl at my speed. I didn't push at the race because I only slept 4.5 hours and I just want to be lazy for a week.

48:34 in the canyon.

I just want a break.

47:49 at home. I feel fantastic because I'm not burnt out.

18:00 with Julia.

Did 3x400 each were 83 I think. Ran the rest of the miles at about 8:05 min pace

Worked all day and had homework, I feel like it's healthier to not run when I am already exhausted.

4 in 37:24 and 1 with Mimi and Bella in 9:16. The boys hate running with the girls but I love it. They think the girls are bad but they are actually really good kids.

48:37 in the canyon. I had good energy all day even though the run was very hard. I also had no food. I have been eating more red meat lately and I've noticed an increase in energy. I don't have to eat as often and I feel better.The days I eat meat the night before school I don't have any crashes and I can focus better.