Bunny the Cow

4:10. I didn't sleep enough and had to work 9 hours today, but I think it is good that I still did something. It helped keep my mood stable. I got dizzy again this morning and before I realized it I was on the ground while holding the baby and so I think there definitely is some type of deficiency like iron maybe that I should take care of. The enemy has been attacking me physically and emotionally to try to get me discouraged spiritually, but the enemy loses always. Praises be to God the Almighty, who is my Strength and Encouragement. I need to prioritize my health but also not worry or get discouraged. My health isn't bad at all, I just don't want to let it get worse and neglect myself anymore.

8:38. I ran a mile today after not running for a few weeks! I just kept having panic attacks before every run and I wanted to make a fresh start. There are a lot of habits and mindset shifts I need to make so that I do not end up with the same problems. First, I think it's best that I don't push any run 90% of the time. I think if I push it more, then my body will start reacting negatively. So I need to push it very slowly. Second I should avoid looking at my watch or try hitting a set pace. Looking at my watch and trying to go faster constantly is not a good idea if I am trying to listen to my body. Third, I need to keep the mileage very low where I have an extremely quick recovery. I notice that when I run to the point where I need a nap, my day is already ruined by then, and my brain doesn't work very well at that level of exhaustion. My goal is to run at least half a mile a day. I should do it even when I am tired because it seems I am always tired, and half a mile won't hurt even if exhausted. I wish it didn't take this long to just get out for a mile, but I believe it was necessary to go when I feel ready. Healing is a very confusing process but I am figuring it out.