The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method

March 2013

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Location:

Tralee,Ireland

Member Since:

Oct 01, 2011

Gender:

Male

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

I've never worn compression socks.

Short-Term Running Goals:

To do a race.

Long-Term Running Goals:

1. Break the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group, when I'm 50 in 2015.

2. Never wear compression socks.

 

Personal:

Married with two girls (6 and 10).

The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method is a four year experiment.

The first year (2012) was about getting back into running, staying off the smokes and booze, while sticking to a healthy eating plan and shedding mountains of lard. All boxes ticked.

Year two (2013 - age: 48) Injured Jan through March. Build back up and work on my 5k speed. Goal 15:45.

Year three (2014) will be about doing my first marathon in the spring. (Just for the experience and on a tough course - maybe Tralee; goal time, 2:30ish.) Then begins the prep work for Berlin 2015

Year four (2015) is all about breaking the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group - it's only 2:19 :).

The above might sound nuts; it is, but then I'm nuts. Please do not copy any of the training I do: if you do, you are likely to end up running like me - not a good idea.

The idea is to have a laugh along the way. If I fail, I don't know what I'll do - my whole belief system will crumble and I suspect that this little rock might just stop spinning for a couple of seconds. Jakers, I better not fail for all our sakes. That's some burden, even for SuperBam.

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Easy MilesMarathon Pace MilesThreshold MilesVO2 Max MilesTotal Distance
85.000.000.000.0085.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 144.09
Easy MilesMarathon Pace MilesThreshold MilesVO2 Max MilesTotal Distance
5.000.000.000.005.00

a.m. 5 miles easy along the canal.

Nice run. Just went out and enjoyed it. Leg is still holding up but it's defo not ready for much more than what I'm doing at the moment. The 'quiet' work I'm doing on the leg should mean that in a week or so I'll be able to pick it up a notch.

So I've finished tinkering with my predictions. I've done predictions for allie; Jake; Riley; Joe; seeaprilrun. It was harder than I thought. Much harder. I was going to justify my predictions with a supporting paragraph but I've decided not to and just let the numbers speak for themselves.

*If I have this right, allie's race is on a (I know some people still think it should be 'an' - but 'a' is correct) honest and undulating course. Jake and Riley are running on a honest course too. SlowJoe and seeaprilrun are running on a downhill course with a lump in the last 4.

Later, I will fire the predictions over to SlowJoe and he can post them after the respective races. I need to send my prediction for SlowJoe to somebody. Who can be trusted not to let the cat out of the bag? Now there's a question for you...

No Jake, you'll be straight onto Joe: 'I'll show you mine, if you show me yours:)'

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 143.00
Comments(3)
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a.m. 4 miles easy along the canal.

And your old dad calls it, nearly to the second:) Congrats Jake on first place and Riley on third!

Just waiting for allie's result...

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No run yesterday or today - I'm recovering from the gruelling exploits of the weekend's marathon predictions.

Although my leg has held up well to the 3-5 mile easy runs, I decided to take two days off so that I could hammer my leg and lower back with some intensive soft tissue work. I want to make sure that I'm 100% sorted before I start training properly.

Last night, after releasing just about every muscle in the right side of my body and a good few on the left, I felt like I'd been struck by lightning: sharp and tingling pulses zipped through my body - unnerving:) and sometimes unpleasant. Today, I feel battered and bruised and lopsided - I'd better be careful walking down to school to pick up the kids - I might fall onto the road and get run over.

Hopefully everything will settle down by tomorrow afternoon - I'm supposed to be running with Grace.

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pm 2 miles easy along the canal with Grace - well, not really easy and not really with Grace.

Plan was 3 miles easy but my leg played up bad. Grace took her opportunity to destroy me in true Terminator fashion. She zipped off into the distance, not even stopping to see if her poor old fella was ok. When our paths crossed as she came back along the tow path, she gave me the loser 'L' sign with her fingers. Kids. You do your best by them and then when you're on your knees they stomp on you.

Going to get my own back on the little rapscallion:)

p.s. my leg is about as much use as a chocolate bikini in the Sahara - no more running until leg feels perfect for a week. On second thoughts...

Where's that humongous Belgian chocolate cake I bought. Ah, there it is. No way Grace - only losers with gammy legs eat this stuff:) Oh yes, here we go...

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I'm angry. I'm livid. I'm apoplectic with rage. I'm going bananas. Ballistic. Mental.

I'm so annoyed I can't even say why...

Seething...

Doing my nut...

Somebody's having it... They're getting weighed in. Nobody, and I mean nobody, has my pants down and gets away with it.

Narked. Vexed.

I'll be back -Just got to go and blow up a physiotherapy clinic:) Quacks. Bounders!

I'm back and I've calmed down:) Today I decided, against my better judgement, to go see a physiotherapist (that's a bit like your PT's). Big mistake.

Checked the clinic out on the internet and they had a range of therapists who had supposedly worked with Irish Olympians etc. Arrived and the pad was professional looking etc. My Physio did all the history stuff - very good. Then they did all the right assessments - excellent I thought. Maybe we'll get this little thing sorted once and for all...

I'd told them what I thought and I sensed the physio was a tad nervous. Physio gave me all the spiel about how great my musculature was etc - I can handle that, even though I'm 14 pounds over weight.

The physio then gives my erector spinae a bit of a rub - no effleurage, petrissage, tapotement, kneeding etc - just a rub - like the good lady might do.

'We'll get you sorted over the next couple of months. I'll pass you on to my colleague - he's really good."

What the... I'm thinking. The next couple of months at 50 sheets a week. On your bike.

"That's it, for today," she said.

After a bit of chat etc - there's no diagnosis or thoughts about what's wrong or why no proper treatment etc.

I pay the Euro 50 (out of my ipad fund - yeah, I know, but I've been spending the money on cakes and sweets etc: it's part of my injury depression). They try to book me in for next week with super physio. He'll have you on the wussmill and he'll look at your gait.

So I tell them there's no point looking at my gait etc - I can't run at the moment I'm injured and I need fixing. Much embarrassment.

They book me in for next Wednesday with the rub-a-dub-dub physio.

I ain't going back. All this PT stuff is a rip. A con. Eat cake  and watch the goggle-box when you're injured. Let the body heal itself.

Anyway, the good news is... my new belly - from the cakes - has pulled my si joint into place, my core muscles etc have settled and I think, if I eat a few more cakes, I'll be back running in a couple of days.

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No run yesterday or today but plenty of soft tissue release and AIS. Feel great but I'm not going to run until next week. I feel 100%. I'm sure if I were to run today, I'd feel ok. But I'm going to play it extra safe. I hammered my postural muscles after I went to the physio. I was in agony yesterday but today I'm feeling great. No pangs or discomfort. If I can remain patient for a few more days I'm positive I'll have this injury sorted once and for all.

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No run today. But I'm going out with Grace tomorrow. We're going to do 3.5 miles on the rolling sand dunes at Banna beach. Should be fun. I confident that my leg will be fine but we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Went up to Tipperary (it's a long way to Tipperary) today for the Munster Regional indoor relay champs - Grace was running in the 4x100m for her club. What a laugh. Grace was half the size of the other girls:) She ran the first leg, and although I can't pin it down, it was hilarious. She just didn't look right out there. The baton was the size of her arm. Her team finished 3rd out of 4 in their heat.

She's decided that while she has some basic speed, she's not a sprinter. Some of those 10 year olds were juiced up:) Fun day. Looking forward to getting out tomorrow for a plod.

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3 miles easy out at Banna dunes. Great fun in the freezing rain - don't think Grace enjoyed it: I think in future when her old fella tells her to wear gloves and a hat, she might just listen.

The Banna dunes is a great place to train - loads of grass tracks and sand dunes; good for getting on soft surfaces and strength work. I'll be training there more often.

The leg was perfect. I'll get in a week of 5 milers and then start picking things up. The holiday is over...

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a.m. 5 miles easy along the canal.

Leg and achilles felt fine and dan-day; can't say the same about my heart and lungs - I was blowing like a harpooned whale. It's going to take a good bit of time to shift 14 pounds but I suppose as the weight vanishes the fitness will improve.

I need to have a little look at some goals and start scheduling some races - I'm not going to be doing 15 months of miles without any focus. I'm thinking that for the next 18 months I 'll work on my 5k fitness. Probably 6 month blocks. Hopefully each block will result in substantial improvements.

The 5k goal is 14:50ish by Sept 2014 - my little injury scuppered all plans of breaking 15 this year. So, I need to set a goal for Sept/Oct this year and March/Apr 2014. I was thinking, maybe 16 mins for Sept this year and then 15:30 for March next year (hard to do speed work in the winter because of the wind). 15:30 to 14:50 may seem like a big jump but I'll have a summer of track work, so I think it's possible. Once I hit 14:50ish, I'll have the necessary speed and foundation to attack the marathon:)

Of course, I'll only hit those goals if I can stay healthy. Staying healthy is a major part of managing the process...

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 145.00
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 a.m. 5 miles easy along the canal. Everything fine and dan-day.

Last night, I was doing a bit of the old English Lit. teaching stuff and I covered the 'unseen poem'. We went over the poem, Cold. I thought I'd share it with you as it is a beautiful poem that I suspect all of you will be able to tune into...

 Carol Ann Duffy

Cold

It felt so cold, the snowball which wept in my hands,

and when I rolled it along in the snow, it grew

till I could sit on it, looking back at the house,

where it was cold when I woke in my room, the windows

blind with ice, my breath undressing itself on the air.

Cold, too, embracing the torso of snow which I lifted up

in my arms to build a snowman, my toes, burning, cold

in my winter boots; my mother’s voice calling me in

from the cold. And her hands were cold from peeling

then dipping potatoes into a bowl, stopping to cup

her daughter’s face, a kiss for both cold cheeks, my cold nose.

But nothing so cold as the February night I opened the door

in the Chapel of Rest where my mother lay, neither young, nor old,

where my lips, returning her kiss to her brow, knew the meaning of cold.

A simple sonnet with a majestical volte that comes in as late as the 12th line. But let's pick a random line. Ok, let's see - ah yes, line 6:

'Cold, too, embracing the torso of snow which I lifted up'

There's a kinaesthetic strain to this line that mimics the physicality of lifting the torso of snow. 'Cold, too,' - here, Duffy enacts, through the employment of two perfectly placed commas, the effort the child uses to lift the snow. The polysyllabic, 'embracing' simulates the arms wrapping around the snow, while the iambic syllables which follow, draw us into the energy of the line,  as our eyes lift the snow with the child. But here's the spellbinding brilliancy of the poem: 'which I lifted up'. The enjambed line leaves our eyes straining at the end of the line with the snow in the air. We struggle under the weight as our eyes stare out across the cold, white, artic expanse of the page, looking for somewhere to plonk the snow. I could go on and on...

I wonder if Carol Anne Duffy could break 4hrs for the marathon. I very much doubt it:)

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 144.00
Comments(12)
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a.m. 5 miles easy - out and back along the canal. Although I'm finding these 5 milers a tad taxing, they are becoming easier. Should have watched what I was eating when I was injured. Oh well.

Well, well, well, come here and listen carefully folks, I've some big news that's going to upset you slightly - don't worry, you'll learn to live with it, eventually:)

Forget all that waffle your history teachers taught you about who discovered America; those teachers polluted your young minds with the worst type of jingoism. All of you are Irish. Yep, Paddy Krong; Paddy the schoolmaster Murphy (that's a given); Paddy Jardine - nope, you're not a Scot as you once claimed, you're Irish. Etc. etc. etc. And as for all ye colleens (girls), you too - Irish through-and-through.

How so? I hear you scream. My youngest daughter came home from school yesterday and told me that St Brendan discovered the New World. Now, I'm not going to sit here and explain away the history of the New World but I suggest you go look it up, that is, of course, if you want to know the truth.

From this day forth, across the proud nation of the United States of America, the 13th of March will now be known as Bam day. A holiday for all, where all must do a fine wee bit of a jig in their kitchen to celebrate the enlightenerer. For sure, 'twas Bam Himself who did only enlighten the good citizens of the United States of America.

sláinte:)

 

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a.m. 5 miles easy along the canal. It's tough trying to run when you're fat!

Anyway, I had this great idea this morning. Guess what? I'm going to share it with you. It's the Tralee Marathon on Saturday and I've decided that I'm going to get out and about on the course and hide behind bushes and chuck stones at people as they run along the road:) Great fun.

Imagine Jake and Riley and the Kenyan fella deep in concentration. Jake smiling to himself - that drink that I pretended to drink from and passed on to them, will have their stomachs turning like washing machines in a minute and then I can stride away to glory:) Thwack! A stone in the head:) Great stuff!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch in the quasi real world of Bam, I was thinking about my goals and I've decided to alter my plans slightly. I might just try and break 3:30 for the marathon. Only joking. I'm going to stick with the 16 mins for the 5k in Sept and 15:30 around March time next year. But rather than pushing on for 14:50, I'm going to give the 2014 Cork Marathon a crack. I think I need to get one under my belt. Cork's a toughish course but it's not as hard as Tralee. There is one (The Killarney Marathon) that's a bit like all the Utah marathons but I couldn't live with myself if I ran it:). So that's it: aim for 15:30 for 5k by March next year and then aim for a sub 2:30 at Cork in June. Secretly, I want to break 2:28. The Irish record is 2:28:XX in the 45-49 age group. That would be cool, breaking the Irish record in my first marathon:)

After that, I'll push on and aim for the 14:50 as part of the prep work for going sub 2:20 for the marathon in the autumn of 2015. That's the new plan.

Of course, the success of the new plan is contingent on not getting caught this Saturday. I doubt I'd be able to train in prison:)

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 144.00
Comments(3)
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a.m. 5 miles easy along the canal.

Runners everywhere. They're clogging up the roads. Marathon mania has struck. What they don't know is that Bam went to the beach yesterday and got his Pebbles:)

I've never watched a marathon in real life - only on the gogglebox - should be exciting. If my throwing is accurate, I should take out most of the leaders. The race might be won in about 3:45. My guess is 2:32 - for a marathon, it's a very tough course and the weather might be pants!

Off to the expo to see if I can pick up some proper running shoes for my girls. They have tiny feet and it's a nightmare getting running shoes for them.

Somehow, I've put on a couple of pounds. Must be muscle - I doubt it. Now how many cakes did I eat yesterday?

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 145.00
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a.m. 5 miles easy along the canal.

Went out with Grace and my old fella to watch the Tralee Marathon. Great fun.  The guy who finished 2nd was leading from the off and had over a minute lead on 2nd and 3rd at 17 miles and 5 mins on 4th/5th/6th. A chap in the 4-6th group pulled the leader back by 23 miles and went on to win. The course was brutal and people were caving all over the place. Well organised apart from some traffic issues and some cheating - people on bikes riding alongside runners and giving them drinks etc.

Not sure of the winning times but I think 2:37 won it! If only I had been fit, I could have run it backwards in 2:35:)

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a.m. 6 miles easy on my old 6 miler route. Great to be back out doing 'real' runs again. The plan for this week is to keep the morning runs around 5 miles and I'll train on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (in the afternoon) with Grace - this should add an extra 10 miles onto my weekly total, without causing too much stress to the old system. I prefer adding in the doubles early rather than maxing out the singles.

I'm down to 143lbs:) 0nly 10 more to go(:

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a.m. 5 miles out and back along the canal.

Nice easy run. Just pleased to be injury free. Running with Grace and Olivia later. I suspect they will make me run behind them:)

p.m. 3 miles on Banna Beach with the girls - well, they wouldn't run with me, so I just ran on ahead and kept checking to make sure that they hadn't tried to swim the Atlantic. For some strange reason, I kept thinking about cake.

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a.m. 5 miles out and back along the canal. 3.5 planned for tonight...

p.m. 4 miles out and back along the canal. A bit of zip in the old legs this evening. Feel liked I've trained today. Let's see what tomorrow brings...

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a.m. 6 miles out and back along the canal. Very slow. Body felt like I'd either done an Ironman or been cross training with Brandon. Hopefully, I'm fighting off some lurgy and that it's not a reaction to the training. Must start recording my RHR again.

RHR 227 - that's a slight exaggeration but a handy enough place to start from; things can only get better.

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a.m. 6 miles easy on the canal route - gotta love the soft surfaces.

Was planning on doing a 5 followed by a 4 but the old lady's shook:) - she's only gone and got herself a handy helping of the lurgy; SuperBam fought it off. They laugh at me for eating a Bam Bar everyday - but all those ingredients work to fight off lurgies and give you fantastic skin and oh so many other things.

This morning I woke to the wife's splutterings. Up and at the day straight away, so I was. Banged on the quinoa for the pack lunches, made the marinade for the skinless chicken breasts, choppend up the cucumber and baby leaf spinach and watercress to add to the quinoa ( a squeeze of lemon - helps with the old iron absorption; I doubt the kids know the efforts I go to just so that they will grow into superbeings, like their dad, whoever he is - and some cracked black pepper is added at the end), popped on my lentils and beans - for the wife's soup (what a great hubby I am - modest too) -, fed myself two handy helpings of granola with goji berries and then gave Oliver the cat his breakfast. I went up and got the school uniforms sorted and then woke the girls and gave them a good serving of porridge with some added secret ingredients. Got the girls ready for school while making the lunches and taking the wife's breakfast up to her.

Anyway, by 9:00 the world settled and I changed into my running kit and did my AIS. Now, with my 6 miles out of the way and my Bam Bar lunch wolfed down, I'm ready for what the world wants to throw at me. Bring it on. Let's have it... Maybe I'll have me a cheeky little nap. This life is so hard.

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p.m. 6 miles easy along the canal and up through the Kerries.

Jakers, I can't believe how hard an easy 6 is; I've got a good way to go.

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Sick.

For sale: 2 kids and 1 wife. 

 

Tip of the hat to Ernest.

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I think I might be ok to go for a shuffle tomorrow. This plague that I've suffered would have killed many.

I found something yesterday that made me laugh. I suspect many on here have seen it before (the ostrich and vit D for stress fractures references etc). But I've got to say, when he says can everybody who hasn't run a sub 2:30 marathon leave room, I nearly wet myself laughing. Brilliant.

There's another one, which is not full of profanities and it's by an Irish comedian. Look up, on youtube, Tommy Tiernan: Drug And Steroid Olympics at Just For Laughs Festival - watch the whole clip. Very funny.

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Easy MilesMarathon Pace MilesThreshold MilesVO2 Max MilesTotal Distance
85.000.000.000.0085.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 144.09
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