The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method

May 2013

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Member Since:

Oct 01, 2011



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I've never worn compression socks.

Short-Term Running Goals:

To do a race.

Long-Term Running Goals:

1. Break the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group, when I'm 50 in 2015.

2. Never wear compression socks.



Married with two girls (6 and 10).

The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method is a four year experiment.

The first year (2012) was about getting back into running, staying off the smokes and booze, while sticking to a healthy eating plan and shedding mountains of lard. All boxes ticked.

Year two (2013 - age: 48) Injured Jan through March. Build back up and work on my 5k speed. Goal 15:45.

Year three (2014) will be about doing my first marathon in the spring. (Just for the experience and on a tough course - maybe Tralee; goal time, 2:30ish.) Then begins the prep work for Berlin 2015

Year four (2015) is all about breaking the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group - it's only 2:19 :).

The above might sound nuts; it is, but then I'm nuts. Please do not copy any of the training I do: if you do, you are likely to end up running like me - not a good idea.

The idea is to have a laugh along the way. If I fail, I don't know what I'll do - my whole belief system will crumble and I suspect that this little rock might just stop spinning for a couple of seconds. Jakers, I better not fail for all our sakes. That's some burden, even for SuperBam.

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Just to keep Dave The Toke Taylor happy: 10 miles with 6 miles as a progression run.  2 easyish, 6 progression, 2 cool down. Felt like a wounded wildebeest - noticed the excess weight. But that was probably a blessing as it prevented me from going too fast. Good workout.

Anyway, why was the first 2 miles easyish instead of easy? Ladies, please stop reading as you may be offended by what is to follow, especially some of the later stuff.

So, I jog to the bottom of my road and there she is: swoosh  - a flash of orange with beautiful flowing blonde hair. My heart skipped a beat and then with autonomic ease I slipped through the gears. As I glided past her I said, 'Alrighty Treacle? Nice morning for it.' She giggled and I carried on. She's in love now. See how easy it is to make a lovely lady's day. Simple. Have I ever told you how charming I am? No! Maybe some day. Note to self - delete this before Old Lady has a chance to read it, otherwise there will be blue murder.

Another point: as many of you know Brenda - I mean Brandon Base - is saving up for the operation (the one where they change him into a her). Well, if you didn't know, you didn't hear it from me, ok? Good. Well, Brenda's gonna need some support over the coming months. If you like Brenda/Brandon and you have no moral objections to his desire to be a woman, please send donations to Dave The Toke Taylor. Dave has promised me that he'll put all monies into a trust fund for Brenda. He has assured me that he will not take the money and visit his good friend and crime lord Pablo (down in Mexico). Dig deep, Brenda's had it tough recently.

Another point. If any of you men folk have daughters who are 8/9 be warned: when they get to 10 they turn into whirling dervish. Man-o-man, Hor[moan]s Almighty. They start to get opinions and what's worse, their opinions are antithetical to yours. I'm warning you, they are little terrors. From the moment the rapscallions wake, to second they hit the pillow, jakers, you are on egg shells.

Never fear, SuperBam is here with top-class parenting gems. Wanna know what to do with them? Bet you do. Drug them. Yep. Drug them. Feed them pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and Brazil nuts (the zinc is great for the little ladies and the big ladies too) and spike their food with smidgens of Maca powder. (Now ladies, I told you not to be reading this stuff - go away, this is a blog for real men; Brenda, that includes you too, go on,  off you scoot.)

Fantastic - can't have the old treacles checking out the big man chat. Anyway, this Maca stuff's an adaptogen and works a treat with those cheeky little hor(moan)aly things. It's like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nests - you know at the end. Peace and tranquility.

Anyway kids, see you later. Gotta go buy me some more pumkin seeds...

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The girls (Brandon and Dave) wanted an update so here goes... well this is a bit special, I raced last night. I did the Tralee 5k. Finished 2nd in 15:52. Course was  a tad long accorcing to the Garmin but I now know that's the norm. Pleased enough with the result as the course is very honest - undulating out and back. Wasn't happy about coming 2nd but then I'm making this up so I suppose I could say that it was an exciting race blah blah blah. No, I've had a cold since Saturday and haven't run a jot. I'll be getting back out tomorrow and doing a 5 miler. I'll take a few days getting back into the swing of things and then I'll re-start from where I was 2 weeks back. I picked up the cold from shedding too much weight too quickly. I'd been dropping 1-2lbs a week but last week I lost 5, which I suspect I've now put back on. I should know better. So nothing exciting apart from the fact that Brandon and Dave wet their panties when they read I'd run 15:52:)

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Update: did a little session today:3x(6x30 secs) jog back rec and 5 min jog between sets. Felt good, better than anticipated.

Anyway, some news: We're moving to England - my homeland:) In some ways I'll be sad to leave Ireland - it's a great country and the people are tops - but I am looking forward to heading home. We've decided to go back to Oxford and settle ourselves down, for many reasons but mainly to give the kids a better springboard and all that stuff. The kids are buzzing - they want to go today. But we're waiting until July so that they can finish school.

Better try and shed this Irish twang that I've picked up: jakers, I don't want anybody mistaking me for an Irishman.

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Bobby Dazzler, aka Dave The Dope Taylor, asked for an update. He was going to spread it that I was doing out and backs to Killarney or even Milltown. The Dope's knowledge of Kerry is impressive.

The other week's sickness set me back a bit but I'm up and going well. Here this week's schedule and it's all going to plan:

Sunday 3x(6x30 secs vvo2 max pace strides) jog back rec and 800m jog between sets. To finish off the session, 1200m @ 95% effort.  Session done with aplomb, beauty and grace.

Mon - 2x6 miles easy on soft surfaces, untimed.

Tuesday - same as Monday.

Wednesday - 10 miles. First 8.5 done as a progression, followed by 1.5 cool down. Progression was much improved this week (By golly, I think I've progressed).

Thur - same as Mon

Fri - 6 with 8x8 sec hill blasts

Sat - same as Mon.

Mileage works out somewhere in the low 70's and that's without a long run; the progression run will develop into my long run.

So, hopefully that'll keep The Dope happy:)

And just for Brandon, my weight is now 142lbs - only 10 lbs left to shed and then I can get shifting.

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