Just to keep Dave The Toke Taylor happy: 10 miles with 6 miles as a progression run. 2 easyish, 6 progression, 2 cool down. Felt like a wounded wildebeest - noticed the excess weight. But that was probably a blessing as it prevented me from going too fast. Good workout.
Anyway, why was the first 2 miles easyish instead of easy? Ladies, please stop reading as you may be offended by what is to follow, especially some of the later stuff.
So, I jog to the bottom of my road and there she is: swoosh - a flash of orange with beautiful flowing blonde hair. My heart skipped a beat and then with autonomic ease I slipped through the gears. As I glided past her I said, 'Alrighty Treacle? Nice morning for it.' She giggled and I carried on. She's in love now. See how easy it is to make a lovely lady's day. Simple. Have I ever told you how charming I am? No! Maybe some day. Note to self - delete this before Old Lady has a chance to read it, otherwise there will be blue murder.
Another point: as many of you know Brenda - I mean Brandon Base - is saving up for the operation (the one where they change him into a her). Well, if you didn't know, you didn't hear it from me, ok? Good. Well, Brenda's gonna need some support over the coming months. If you like Brenda/Brandon and you have no moral objections to his desire to be a woman, please send donations to Dave The Toke Taylor. Dave has promised me that he'll put all monies into a trust fund for Brenda. He has assured me that he will not take the money and visit his good friend and crime lord Pablo (down in Mexico). Dig deep, Brenda's had it tough recently.
Another point. If any of you men folk have daughters who are 8/9 be warned: when they get to 10 they turn into whirling dervish. Man-o-man, Hor[moan]s Almighty. They start to get opinions and what's worse, their opinions are antithetical to yours. I'm warning you, they are little terrors. From the moment the rapscallions wake, to second they hit the pillow, jakers, you are on egg shells.
Never fear, SuperBam is here with top-class parenting gems. Wanna know what to do with them? Bet you do. Drug them. Yep. Drug them. Feed them pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds and Brazil nuts (the zinc is great for the little ladies and the big ladies too) and spike their food with smidgens of Maca powder. (Now ladies, I told you not to be reading this stuff - go away, this is a blog for real men; Brenda, that includes you too, go on, off you scoot.)
Fantastic - can't have the old treacles checking out the big man chat. Anyway, this Maca stuff's an adaptogen and works a treat with those cheeky little hor(moan)aly things. It's like One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nests - you know at the end. Peace and tranquility.
Anyway kids, see you later. Gotta go buy me some more pumkin seeds... | 