The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method

July 04, 2022

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Member Since:

Oct 01, 2011



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

I've never worn compression socks.

Short-Term Running Goals:

To do a race.

Long-Term Running Goals:

1. Break the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group, when I'm 50 in 2015.

2. Never wear compression socks.



Married with two girls (6 and 10).

The Qwer Old Fella's Marathon Method is a four year experiment.

The first year (2012) was about getting back into running, staying off the smokes and booze, while sticking to a healthy eating plan and shedding mountains of lard. All boxes ticked.

Year two (2013 - age: 48) Injured Jan through March. Build back up and work on my 5k speed. Goal 15:45.

Year three (2014) will be about doing my first marathon in the spring. (Just for the experience and on a tough course - maybe Tralee; goal time, 2:30ish.) Then begins the prep work for Berlin 2015

Year four (2015) is all about breaking the world record for the marathon in the 50+ age group - it's only 2:19 :).

The above might sound nuts; it is, but then I'm nuts. Please do not copy any of the training I do: if you do, you are likely to end up running like me - not a good idea.

The idea is to have a laugh along the way. If I fail, I don't know what I'll do - my whole belief system will crumble and I suspect that this little rock might just stop spinning for a couple of seconds. Jakers, I better not fail for all our sakes. That's some burden, even for SuperBam.

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Easy MilesMarathon Pace MilesThreshold MilesVO2 Max MilesTotal Distance

Bobby Dazzler, aka Dave The Dope Taylor, asked for an update. He was going to spread it that I was doing out and backs to Killarney or even Milltown. The Dope's knowledge of Kerry is impressive.

The other week's sickness set me back a bit but I'm up and going well. Here this week's schedule and it's all going to plan:

Sunday 3x(6x30 secs vvo2 max pace strides) jog back rec and 800m jog between sets. To finish off the session, 1200m @ 95% effort.  Session done with aplomb, beauty and grace.

Mon - 2x6 miles easy on soft surfaces, untimed.

Tuesday - same as Monday.

Wednesday - 10 miles. First 8.5 done as a progression, followed by 1.5 cool down. Progression was much improved this week (By golly, I think I've progressed).

Thur - same as Mon

Fri - 6 with 8x8 sec hill blasts

Sat - same as Mon.

Mileage works out somewhere in the low 70's and that's without a long run; the progression run will develop into my long run.

So, hopefully that'll keep The Dope happy:)

And just for Brandon, my weight is now 142lbs - only 10 lbs left to shed and then I can get shifting.

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00Weight: 0.00
From Dave Taylor on Wed, May 22, 2013 at 07:55:51 from

Good heavens, you're going to blow away! (The competition) I'm having a bit of trouble getting back under 150 even with the upped mileage. Too much ice cream perhaps. Or too much upper body at the gym. Doesn't matter, not going to quit either :)

From I Just Run on Wed, May 22, 2013 at 10:53:02 from

Wow, your working a lot harder than me! I think I'll have a whopping 30 miles this week. :-)

From Dave Taylor on Wed, May 22, 2013 at 11:08:10 from

Don't worry he's just confused. He's reporting Km as miles and kilos as lbs. So you're actually pretty close.


From SlowJoe on Wed, May 22, 2013 at 21:25:59 from

Nice week. I'm going to assume 1200m is your 3-minute effort, and nothing you say can convince me otherwise.

From Jason D on Wed, May 22, 2013 at 22:12:16 from

To weigh 142 I would have to cut my legs off and at least one hand. I think we should look into ditching the age graded time scale and advocate for the BAM scale: times are adjusted for aplomb, beauty, and grace

(Notice my American English copy editor bones wouldn't let that Oxford comma slip. Which is weird, because English folks don't use the Oxford comma. Americans do. Now everyone thinks English students correct people's grammar all day . . . )

From Kam on Wed, May 22, 2013 at 23:22:57 from

I must comment in case there is additional tomfoolery concerning oxford commas.

From Bam on Thu, May 23, 2013 at 02:57:53 from

Dopey - I'm 142 pounds of power that can cope with miles and km's with aplomb:)

IJR - I can assure you that you are working a lot harder than me - I've retired:)

Joe - the 1200m is a rough guess. I do the session on a grass field. The 1200m is probably more like 600m.

Jason - I'm a fan of the Oxford comma and often get pulled up for it over here by morons that don't know that it exists.

Neasts - I liked that very much. Grace is already doing aerobic strides on the grass wasteland. She will not do them with me as I embarrass her:) apparently, on purpose. Loved the cheeky little Oxford comma too.

Kam - toomfoolery is a cracker - tip of the hat to ya.

From bdase on Sun, May 26, 2013 at 16:41:43 from

I like your week and plan. You must be lying about your weight. I hope so. Mine is very sad. I am a fatty. I'm 10 heavy. Hoping the plan knocks it down good after some consistency. I like the updates, keep them coming.

From Dave Taylor on Sun, May 26, 2013 at 16:46:39 from

What? Dude you have to be lighter than me! Remember, they have to still be able to see you when you cross the finish line if you want to have the result counted :)

From seeaprilrun on Sun, May 26, 2013 at 21:02:36 from

You are behind on blogging...

From Matt Poulsen on Sun, May 26, 2013 at 21:26:18 from

Sounds like you are coming into form, Bam. Nice work! Keep it up. Best of luck with the move to England.

From Bam on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 05:04:33 from

Dase the Ace - weight's coming down slowly slowly but surely.

Dopey - They'll hear me when I shout, 'Have some of that Dopey:)'

April - I'm very busy with real world stuff:) and soon I'll be shutting down for good. I will, however, be keeping an eye on everybody:)

Matt - great to see you back at it. The form, like the weight, is sorting itself out. I do feel like I'm making some real progress and I'm looking forward to racing...

From Dave Taylor on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 07:55:32 from

Uh huh, sure it is. I think you got lost after a canal run and are reading this from the cozy confines of Moriarty's, whilst slurping on a double decker caramel fudge - rocky road cone. Goodness knows that's where I would be :)

From Matt Poulsen on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 12:07:27 from

I look forward to you racing also!

From allie on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 14:22:51 from

i can't believe i'm showing up five days late to a thread that mentions the oxford comma. google alerts must be broken.

From Neasts on Mon, May 27, 2013 at 15:47:34 from

Yes, Allie, you are late, later, and very latest. :-)

Bam, I have mostly chosen to ignore this talk of going away forever in hopes that it would go away forever. Is this one of those decisions that just has to happen to make your life flow better? If so, I get and respect that. Or, are you going to come back under your real identity and reveal yourself to be Simon Cowell?

From Jason D on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 13:56:46 from

SHUTTING DOWN FOR GOOD? Don't make me make this post into a clichéd movie scene, Bamster. Because I will!

From I Just Run on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 14:08:16 from

He doesn't love us any more. :-(


He's getting off because I just friended him. :-( :-(

From Bam on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 14:09:33 from

Jason, I'll give you a chance to sort out your accent...:)

From Jason D on Tue, May 28, 2013 at 18:14:44 from

I thought you meant my speaking accent. I was prepared to set off to the land of Bam for fat camp! I need it.

From Bam on Wed, May 29, 2013 at 06:25:07 from

Attaboy Jason. Don't want people thinking you bought that Ph.D. in English:)

My entries have now finished! It's no drama. It's life. It's time for me to move on. I've had a blast.

Apparently, I've got two of those kid things and they need my time. Yeah, it doesn't take too long to bang up your training etc, but I also frequent a writing site that takes up rucks of my time - I've got to give that up too.

Anyway, this place has enabled me to shed rucks of weight, stay off the drink and smokes, and get fit. (Cheeky little comma.)

When I say fit, I mean I'm getting fit. I suspect by the end of the summer I'll be in about 15:45-16 min shape for 5k - that's on a legit course. Not great, but compared to where I was 2 years ago, it's pretty impressive.

Now, if any of you really thought I'd break the masters 50+ record for the marathon you might need to go see a doctor. There's a good head doctor on the site, can't remember his name but if you ask Brandon (BDase) I'm sure he'll know - might be Doc Looper or something like that.

I doubt I'll ever run a marathon - it's a long way. I think I'll focus on the 1500m - 5000m. My training's suggesting that's where I might find the most enjoyment as I go gently into the good night:)

If my words have caused offence, I'm sorry. I know that I'm prone to saying stuff for effect, which may hurt some, for which I'm far from proud. Where I come from, merry, sarky put-downs and banter are a sign of friendship and respect and formalacynessiocity is reserved for folks we don't yet trust; having had a touchy Martian lover, I know to my cost how this can clash with other cultures! But in defence of my flippancy I do agree with Oscar Wilde that "Life is far too important to be taken seriously".

I think some of you have my email address - so stay in touch; could be worth your while:)

I'll leave you with this little gem:

“The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion." Thomas Paine

Keep on jogging:)

From Matt Poulsen on Wed, May 29, 2013 at 20:13:47 from

Great quote, Bam!

Bam, I definitely respect whatever you choose to do with respect to this blog. But, I will personally miss your posts very much.

I'll keep in touch.

From I Just Run on Thu, May 30, 2013 at 14:08:51 from

He's gone....And I never made it to his "Favorite Blogs" list. :-(

From Neasts on Thu, May 30, 2013 at 14:48:22 from

Farewell, Bam, I hardly knew thee. May you find happiness and balance, but whatever you do, don't stop writing, even if it is just for yourself. :-)

From SlowJoe on Thu, May 30, 2013 at 20:45:04 from

See ya Bam.

Thanks for the help along the way.

Keep laying off the booze and you'll get that world record. I've had my issues with booze too. Running really is a cure and a better way of life. I'll talk to ya later through email. Good luck in England.


From Bret on Sun, Jun 02, 2013 at 14:13:45 from

Just read will be missed - stay in touch and comment when you can.

From scottkeate on Fri, Jul 26, 2013 at 08:41:19 from

Tipping my virtual hat to you right now, Bam. I have thoroughly enjoyed your posts, insights, and views about life.

With deep respect I say thank you!

From scottkeate on Fri, Jul 26, 2013 at 08:49:14 from

Oh, and by the way, I'm open to the possibility of hearing from you again :-) (Probably a terrible use of backwoods Utah commas)

From Burt on Sat, May 31, 2014 at 12:26:55 from

I can't believe I'm showing up three hundred and seventy four days late to a thread that mentions the Oxford comma.

From Dave Taylor on Sat, May 31, 2014 at 16:46:52 from

Yes, you show up, post, and fail to use it. Spank you very much.

From Burt on Sat, May 31, 2014 at 16:58:23 from

Yeah, sorry about that. But you just nailed it!

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