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September 2021

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Location:

Draper,UT,

Member Since:

Jun 21, 2011

Gender:

Female

Goal Type:

Other

Running Accomplishments:

800m- 2:23

1600m- 5:10

1 Mile- 5:12

3200m-11:03

XC 3 mile-17:55

XC 5k- 19:00

XC 6k- 22:25

Local 5k- 18:42

Local 10k- 41:31

Local 15k- 1:03:55

Unofficial Half (2020)- 1:45:46

Official Half (2021)- 1:49:28

60% (5 miles)- 32:32 (6:30 average)

80% (3 miles)- 18:52 (6:17 average)

16x400s- 82.0 average

20x400s- 82.6 average

SUU Road Race- 23:30 (3.9 miles/6:02 average)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Get up to 45-50 miles/week

Run a sub-19:30 5k again

Train for and race a half marathon

Long-Term Running Goals:

18:45 or under 5k

Run a marathon

Personal:

25 years old

I graduated from East High in 2015 and received a full-ride athletic scholarship to run for SUU. In 2016, I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was sent home early due to depression and nannied for a few months before returning to SUU in fall of 2017. I ran for SUU again, losing my mission weight and getting back into shape. In spring of 2019 I was forced to emergency withdraw from the semester due to severe depression and received 11 ECT treatments along with meds and a diagnosis of bipolar 2 disorder. I then decided on a whim to transfer to BYU-Idaho the following semester, and struggled majorly there to even pass my classes due to depression. The following spring semester, exactly 1 year later, I again had to emergency withdraw from the semester due to severe depression and was again hospitalized. I then decided to drop out of school for a minute and work so I could pay off medical bills. I worked full-time and eventually paid off all my medical bills. In January of 2021 I went back to school online through SUU taking two more classes and graduated with my Associate's degree in July of 2021. Also in July of 2021, I got a new job working with special needs adults and teenagers. I loved it.

I'm currently between jobs, my mental health got bad again and I went to an inpatient hospital, a residential treatment center, and then a partial hospitalization program, and now I'm in an Intensive outpatient program. My goal is to learn how to thrive and not just survive. Surviving is what I've been doing for years, so it's going to be hard to learn how to truly enjoy life. But I'm grateful for the opportunity. 

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Miles:This week: 5.80 Month: 8.30 Year: 57.15
Adidas Distancestar Spikes Lifetime Miles: 3.00
Adidas Boston 7 Lifetime Miles: 430.33
Nike Pegasus 34 Lifetime Miles: 493.60
Nike Pegasus 34 II Lifetime Miles: 365.31
Nike Pegasus 36 Lifetime Miles: 480.43
Nike Pegasus 36 II Lifetime Miles: 319.00
Nike Pegasus 37 Lifetime Miles: 21.30
Total Distance
19.25
Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 19.25
Night Sleep Time: 8.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 8.00
Total Distance
0.00

Okay so I haven't run in... over a week. It's looking like that half marathon might have to be deferred to next year cause I just haven't had the motivation to train for it this year. I feel bad about it but it is what it is. 

On another note Imagine Dragons dropped their new album tonight and I'm stoked about it. They're my all-time favorite artist.

So how's life? I'm struggling financially but what else is new? Currently in a big debate over whether or not I should keep my job or get a new one. Don't know if this is my bipolar cycle getting to me, probably. There are some really good aspects of my job but some really sucky ones at the same time. And I'm not getting paid very well. I'm in a depressive swing. Have been for a solid 18 days. It's fuuuuun. Hehe. Not really. No suicidal thoughts for a year. Still going to weekly therapy but considering dropping to every other week. Despite being depressed I'm doing quite well. I'm not to the point of tears depressed. Just my usual withdrawing and keeping to myself, feeling tired and less motivated than usual. But I am learning ways to be still and in the moment so as not to be anxious, which is nice. And the up side is that I'll be hypomanic sooner or later haha :) or maybe that's a downside too... ah well hypomania is more fun than depression. 

Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Comments(1)
Total Distance
3.00

3 miles

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 3.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
2.75

2.75 miles

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 2.75
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
2.75

Well... I deferred my half marathon entry to next year. It was obvious I'm in no shape for a half marathon. I was struggling on a 3 miler today and ended up walking a quarter mile of it. But it's okay. I'm feeling more motivated now to run. Hence why I got out and ran today. We'll see how long that lasts though haha. 

I had therapy again today and my therapist asked me where I thought my mood was at and I said I thought I was coming out of depression/entering into an upswing and she said she could tell. I seemed happier and brighter. It always surprises me when she can tell just off of my countenance.

I also learned today that I could ask my work for a mental health day if I need it. Because bipolar disorder is a disability, they have to allow for it. Same with doctors appointments like therapy and psychiatry, but I've managed to not disclose what my appointments are for thus far. Idk why but I'm a bit more wary of disclosing my disability in an employment setting, and I have a hard time seeing myself actually asking for a mental health day because it's never even crossed my mind, I feel obligated to go to work no matter what. And thankfully in 18 months I haven't gotten so low that I can't get out of bed. But it's nice to know that if that were to ever occur again I can ask for a day off. 

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 2.75
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
2.75

Easy 2.75

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 2.75
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
3.00

3 easy

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 3.00
Night Sleep Time: 8.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 8.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
2.00

I had therapy this morning, T'was a good time. My therapist went to Canada to learn more about ART the past 5 days. We had an ART session today. It was really cool actually. I left not having any suicidal ideation whatsoever and feeling really hopeful and inspired. 

2 easy

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 2.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
3.00

Easy 3.

My therapist is opening up her own practice and told me today that she's leaving Red Willow. It really scared me for a minute because she started saying how she wouldn't be accepting insurance and that it would be close to $200 a session and I can't pay that much. But then she said she'd do a sliding scale for me, that she's already worked it out for me to pay what I currently pay ($60 a session) if I wanted to continue services with her. She said that I'm the one client she'll be doing that with, which im extremely grateful for. But boy I was so sad for a minute because I thought I wasn't going to be able to afford her new prices and I'd be on the search for a new therapist.

Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 3.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
19.25
Nike Pegasus 34 II Miles: 19.25
Night Sleep Time: 8.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 8.00
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