Sock tans

I was driving home from my cabin for the majority of the day, so when I got home I got with Abigail and went for a 4 miler.

Today I could definitely feel that I am out of shape. We did 2 grass laps around, then did 2 laps on the track so we wouldn't lose our warmup. Then we did a mile speed changes, and already I could feel the out-of-shape part coming into play. My foot felt fine though.

Then we were supposed to do 5 1000s, and we had to hit our times on each one to be able to race on friday. I did the first one, my foot was okay, but I felt so out of shape, I was breathing SOOO hard. Then I asked Bill what I was supposed to hit, and it was supposed to be a 3:53, and I hit a 3:56.

I only did standing recovery, which I think I should've done a lap. That would've helped out my foot. But honestly, I didn't feel so great, so I didn't do one. Then when I started the 2nd one, it was just sharp pain in my foot, all the way over to the 200 where it started to warm up, but by then I was all the way in the back of the pack and so mentally I told myself that I was in the back of the pack, and it was over. I think that wasn't the best thing to do. I quit on that one, and just walked over, got some water, cheered everyone on as they finished the 1000, then went up to sunnyside to do that workout instead.

We did arm-swings and pushups when I got there, and I realized that I haven't been doing them nearly as deep as I should be, and wow my arms are sore...maybe that's why they seem so easy to me... haha. I've never done them right!

Then we did a lap, and then went to the track. Maybe I should get my foot checked out by a doctor and see what it REALLY is...:0 

Looks like I'm not racing on friday... :( I was kinda hoping I would be better by now so that I COULD race, mostly because I like that course and I did pretty good last year...oh well...:( 

Well, today I wasn't really in the race mood... but I wanted to race for different reasons.

We did a little warmup, but I kept going a little ways because I didn't want to stop and have my foot start hurting again. Then we did strides. that was all a 1 1/2 miles.

I started out okay, but then crashed. Even my mile split was slow. I crashed even more, even though the hardest part was over. My mindset wasn't the one I needed. I was letting people pass me, and not fighting back. I wound up towards the back. When I realized how far back I was I took it the wrong way and quit on myself. Then I got a little bit back into the zone, but not really, still jogging. towards the end I was getting a little mad about my false judgements on how close I was, it just kept zig-zagging. But eventually it finished.

I actually had a hard time finishing the race, to be honest. I was thinking more negatively than I ever have, and I was angry with how far back I was, but I should've taken that and raced towards the front. Another learning experience.

2 miles cool down

Bill talked to me after, and now I know what to do in these races. I know what I've been doing, and I've actually known all along, but never really thought about it. This is my wake up call, and I'm racing at murray (YAY!) and I'm gonna RACE it!!! :) 

I did a mile warmup and a mile speed changes, then a mile cool down. my foot hurt a bit on the warmup, but then it warmed up and was fine. Then the Athletic dude (I don't really know exactly what he was...) looked at my foot. It isn't a bone, but we think it's a tendon or a muscle or something, so that's good!!! So I am definitely racing tomorrow!!! :)

Today was Murray. I did about a 2 mile warmup and then did strides. I was in JV Girls this time.

I tried to get a good position because I know how boxed in you can get if you don't (experience from last year) and I didn't want that to happen again. Well, I still got boxed in, some girl made me come close to falling, and I wasn't to happy about that. Out came the elbows :) Okay I never actually elbowed anyone but by using my elbows I like to think that I held off a few people trying to pass me. Anyway, I was in the front with a ton of Davis girls, and it wasn't too encouraging when all everyone was yelling was "Yeah Davis, go Davis, Look at Davis, Davis rules" and such. Every once in a while I would hear an "East!" and that was nice :) Then when we were coming back around by the start line I could hear Bill, and actually, I was happy to hear him telling me to stick with them. I was really annoyed at this point with all the cheers for Davis.

So then I tried to block out the cheering for Davis because I realized it was better that way, better thoughts = better race. So I focused on trying to stay on the Davis girls, but eventually I slipped. On the snake I lost it mentally and backed off, then the rest of the race I was chasing them, except for a few parts. When it got to the point to start kicking, I wasn't feeling it, but I knew I needed to. Bill yelled at me to catch the 2 girls ahead of me to be in the top 20, so I tried, but then I backed off when another girl came up on me and I told myself it was over. That I should not have done. I should've fought that girl until the very end. Then I reminded myself that I really wanted that medal so I tried to pick it up again, and was able to until I saw the start line, and started kicking, but I decided the girl was too far ahead. I think that maybe if I had sprinted that last bit I might've caught her, now looking back.

It didn't hit me hard until I got the card that showed how I did. I knew I didn't get a medal, but I had expected that. What I didn't expect was to be 21st, missing the medal by only 1. I thought it had to be at least 3. Then I kept replaying in my head what I did wrong, and how if only that last 800 I had pushed that whole way, then I would've not only been in the top 20, but gotten a much better place. I think that feeling was worse than the hurt I would've had the last couple minutes of the race.

Then I did a cool down of 4.25 miles. I was originally going for 3, but then decided to go an extra mile with Sarah, then realized I was over 4 so I finished to 4.25 

I guess this is a lesson to be learned. Maybe I needed it, to remind me what it's like to lose by only one. All I can say is I'm never letting that happen again.

AM:

I met some people at the Jordan River parkway out at 53rd I think? I'm not good with addresses and directions...

Well, it was early. I was super tired. when we started, I decided I would try to keep up with the boys, and for the first 4 miles I did. Then we turned around, and I backed off, but Bill stayed with me, and I think if he wasn't there then I would've gone a lot slower. Then when I thought we were done, it turns out we only stopped for a gatorade break and then went and did some loop. I didn't realize it was a loop, and I had fallen off of Bill and them, so I turned around at a mile because I saw all of them coming from the other path, the one I decided was the wrong one. Hmm at now I think it's a loop... am I right or did I just take the wrong path?

It was my first time running this trail without snow, and I've got to say it's a lot prettier. :)

PM:

I was going to go until I hit 45 for the week, but then my parents told me that I had to be back 40 minutes earlier than I originally thought so I could babysit while they go somewhere fun with my neighbors....I think it was a play of some sort. Parents. Anyway, I got to 2.75 with 5 minutes left before I needed to be back, so I just stopped so that I would be at 40 for the week. 

Just kidding, I did my math wrong, so I'm at 40.5 for the week. Great. I hate when that happens. 

Today we went to liberty, then did tempo. 3 miles, 3 minutes slower than what we raced on wednesday, then 800 recovery, 2 miles same speed as before, 800, 1 mile. The first one I hit 3 minutes fast, then 2nd I hit fast still, and last I hit 2 seconds fast, but I was distracted by the lightning and there was wind. Then we ran back up to the track.

So I slept through my alarm this morning, and missed morning practice. So in the afternoon I did the workout  that everyone else did in the morning.

Mile warmup and a mile speed changes.

4 sets of a 400 then a 200, the chasing thingy. The 400 had a 200 recovery. My partner was Avvy. Maclean was sometimes there to push me, and that helped.

Then we did 1 grass lap cool down.

Today was the all city meet. It was actually quite small. We did a mile warmup, and then did strides.

In the race I started out pretty good, and the first lap I was 3rd. But then I crashed and I started thinking negatively and then people were passing me, making me feel no better. There was a girl I was fighting with for about a half mile, and eventually the fight ended. I was actually the one to fall off, but then Bill was yelling at me with just a little bit left, and it woke me up, so I started to try to catch people again. I was able to catch the girl, but it turns out Sarah was the next person (actually a group) but they were pretty far ahead. So I didn't catch them . :(

I really think I could've done much better, but I am stuck with what I did. I know now how to fight people, and not to give up. I hope this will help me do better in races. Every race is a learning experience after all.

Then we did the course backwards for cool down, 1 lap of it at least. Then 5 hill strides and core. Then we played Sharks and Minnows for like 5 minutes. 

I saw my soccer coach today... my old one of course. I don't play soccer any more. He was surprised that I chose to run, of all the sports in the world, and not stick with soccer. Honestly, I'm kinda surprised myself. I actually almost kept playing soccer, but then ended up switching to Cross Country. In fact, he called it "Torture."But I like it :) It's weird to think that I might not have run. Actually, not only that but I almost moved to Bountiful, fun fact. Guess it's just meant to be :)

AM:

We did the shriner's run today. I went to the drinking fountain, and then turned around because I couldn't find anyone around me to go with me further and it's kinda sketchy in the dark...

PM:

We did a fartlek after school. We went down 15th  and into that gully thing whatever it's called. We did a lap and then started our fartlek. I started out way crappy like everyone was in front of me including the slow people, so I had trouble getting to the front. Of course, it wasn't the front that I ended up in. I pushed myself pretty good, but the distance between me and Abigail (my target for the workout) was too much and I couldn't get up there. Then I started crashing, and Sarah came up on me with a few left I finally had someone to push me and so I told myself to stay with her, so I did.

Then we finished the lap we were on and did another one and then went back. 

Mile warmup, 2 miles speed changes, mile cool down. I started later than everyone so I was one of the last to finish.

I did about a mile of warmup, then did strides at the line.

I started out pretty good, towards the front of the pack. I think it was actually one of my best starts because I wasn't going out way fast, but I made my way up to the front. That seemed to help me. Then I had made it to 3rd, and I just tried to relax and keep the pace. It felt kinda nice to actually be racing my hardest again, weirdly. It hurt, but it felt good to know I was pushing. At the mile I looked at the time and it was around 6:15. I told myself "Great, goal pace, keep it up." but I crashed and slowed way down. I regret it. I would've done so much better if I had stayed in contact. I now know that I just have to push through it, and then it will get to be a little easier when the others start to crash. I just have to hold on and keep going, no matter what.

The 2nd mile seemed the worst. I crashed and went slow. The slower parts of the race are the ones you remember the most, at least for me, and those actually seem to hurt more than the faster parts when you look back at it. The 3rd mile I reminded myself that the race wasn't over yet and that I could still do well, so I picked it up. At the Diamond thing was where I got my confidence and really sped up. This is where I reminded myself that you have to accept the pain, so I finally did. Down that hill and on from there, I was pushing myself harder than I have in a while. I tried as hard as I could to get myself in the top 10. That last 300 I started kicking, and with 200 left I was full on sprinting. I have never hurt that bad...ever. I wanted it so bad I made myself give all I had. It made me realize that THIS is how it feels to race your hardest. Too bad I didn't catch the girl, and even if I did I still wouldn't have been top 10, but at the time I believed if I did I WOULD be, and I think it was good that I did otherwise I would not have pushed as hard at the end.

I just need to work on that 2nd mile, and I need to get past this mental part. I think that there is going to be a really good race soon, and I am going to combine all of these little things and pull off a great race. 

So it's monday, and naturally I am usually slower on mondays, so I was bracing myself for a hard workout the entire day, which probably didn't help one bit.

We did our avenue hill run. We went over to this park that was right below the start of the hills. We did strides. Except these strides weren't our normal flat strides. No, they had a hill in them that looked like a wall from the start, and they were extra long.

Well, I wasn't feeling too great when we started the run, and by the time we got to the park I was starting to have a hard time breathing. I was having a hard time placing why this was, but I just tried to push through it. I did a few, and by then I was breathing really hard, and it was hard to get enough air in. I stopped for a few to try to get it back down and closer to normal, then finished to get 8 strides instead of 10. 

My breathing had calmed down when we were getting drinks at the drinking fountain, and so I was okay for the first couple hill strides. I wasn't doing as well as I might've, but it was okay considering. I was able to hang on to Sarah on the hill, and then I'd fall off as it got harder to breathe. But I was able (for those first few) to start the next one with the group. Then I fell off as the hills got steeper, and breathing got harder. Often times I would have to go super slow on the recovery to get my breathing down, and, I know you're not supposed to, but I walked one of them.

When I got to 11th it was a miracle because the hills just kept on coming and it went on forever! But I knew there were only 10 of them. Then I did the shriner's run back, stopping at the drinking fountain for a little bit. Just normal running was okay and I could breathe fairly well, at least at the pace I was going, which was slow.

Then I got to the track and looked at the mountains, and realized why I had been having such a hard time breathing. It was so smoky you couldn't see some of the distant ones!! Stupid fires. 

AM:

We went up to foothill and turned and followed it to the cemetery, where we did 3 laps of fireman. I fell off of the front group right before foothill, so when I felt ready I tried to catch up to them using the downhill. I told myself I could and so I did. We found the gates were locked, yet Bill had us squeeze through the fence. I was able to do the fireman for 1 1/2 laps, then came the hill and mentally I lost it...I then had a hard time trying to catch them again. I had slowed down too much for too long. So really I only did about 1 1/2 laps of fireman and the rest was chasing them down. Then from there it was just back to the track.

PM:

mile warmup mile speed changes. Then we did another lap and started the speed.

We did a timed mile where I was supposed to hit like 5:55-6 or something. Around there. So I tried to keep up with Abigail because she was pretty close to what I was hitting, just a little faster. I was doing good the first 2 laps, and then started to slip a bit. The last lap is where I messed up a lot. I think I was just in the mindset of cross country races where they're 3 miles long, not only 1. I knew it was the last lap but it didn't really register until I was done. I fell off of Abigail and I completely died. I hit a 6:17. That's my problem, once I fall off it's pretty much over. I need to just stick on. Ug.

Anyway, we did 2 laps recovery, and then we did an 800. I can't remember what I hit. Then another 2 laps I think, and then did 400s with a lap in between each one. I was supposed to hit these at 82. The first one I just tried to hang on with Abigail. Then on the 2nd one Bill said to switch off leading, so I had to lead this one. I hit an 81 I think. I have a hard time remembering these things... especially when it's the day after. Sorry. Anyway, third was like 82-83ish and last 86 because I gave up, which I should NOT have done.

Then we did 2 grass laps of cool down. 

Today was the race at bountiful, except varsity didn't race. Instead Bill gave us a workout to do. We went to sugarhouse. We started out all together and then it split into groups. Abigail and I were at the front and everyone else behind. We stopped at a drinking fountain on the way and Sarah caught up, so when we got to sugarhouse it was the 3 of us. I think others thought we were going pretty fast, but I felt like we were going a normal pace, maybe even slower. But I guess that was just me because I was feeling good...The back group caught up at the light.

Sarah Abigail and I did a lap and then 10 100 meter strides, or what we thought was 100 meters. Then we did another lap and headed back. Our pace got a lot slower. I felt like I could've gone a lot faster. We stopped at the drinking fountain and I chugged a ton of water and felt crappy the rest of the run, which was only a mile, or even less. Idk.

AM:

Morning practice. We went up sunnyside to foothill then followed it to guardsman then back to the track. I was able to keep up with the front group until the end of guardsman and fell off there, but we were close enough that I got to start the hills with everyone. We did 8 hill strides up the hill with the K on it. Then we went over to the line and did 4 400s with standing recovery. I was supposed to hit 85. I tried to stick with Abigail on all of them. I hit the first 2 too fast and the last 2 too slow. Then we did 2 grass laps cool down.

PM:

Varsity ran to fairmont and then did 10 strides. Interesting run, probably the most eventful one I've ever had :) Some nice old lady gave us candy and we ate it, but then later realized that might not have been the best thing to do... But we're all alive still so I think it's alright :) Then we found out that fairmont has a ton of fences blocking off areas, so we were trying to hop on of them and cut myself. Turns out we could've just gone around the fence. Great.

Then we did 10 strides and went along 9th to 9th and then back up to the track. I walked up the hill though, turns out we were supposed to run up it... whoops. 

So there was no official practice today. I had to stay after school to talk to a few teachers so I started late. But we did a mile warmup, 2 miles speed changes, then a mile cool down.

Then we ran the torch in at the homecoming game!!! That was fun!!! 

1.5 mile shakeout run with JV girls as they were warming up. Actually .5 of it was with them.

 Then I did about 1.5 miles for my warmup. Then I ran to the line and did a few strides. I don't think I was well prepared for this race... at all.

 I started out great. I was chasing the lead girl for a while there. The first time on roller-coaster I was feeling pretty good and was racing better than I have been. Then I let it go to my head and died. My quads were burning and it was basically a battle between pushing through it and backing off. I noticed that I never really wanted to speed up because I knew it was going to hurt if I did, and that there would be a high chance of me quitting on myself. I was about a mile into it where I started to crash. I was in third, and with every person passing me I just felt worse and worse.

I'm trying to learn how this all works, and it's made me realize that running is made for crazy people who think pain is a good thing, and that it's worth going through all of it. But honestly, it's proven that Cross Country is the world's toughest sport and makes me wonder: why in the world do I find this fun? Actually no I don't find it fun, I think it's torture that's meant to make you either really happy or really miserable.

After my race I was really questioning why I like to do this. And why I'm still doing it. I realized why people think running is horrible and the one sport to NEVER do, or why so many people have quit. Because doing bad in races over and over again is agonizing. You want so bad to just do amazing, but the pain is a lot to overcome. I have decided that I'm going to get in the mode that I was in over the summer, and then I will start to have good races again. Too bad Cross Country is almost over. 1 week of hard training left, I can do this. Once I know that I've trained hard, I will probably do well again.

Kind of a crappy start to my day. And then my phone just broke. Great. 

I was expecting speed all day long, so naturally when I found out we were going to sugarhouse I was super happy!! But then later into our warmup it dawned on me that we must be doing hills if were going to sugarhouse...

And yes, I was right. Lots and lots of hills. The first hill we did was the state hill, that huge one. It should have a name, does it already have one that I'm not aware of? Anyway, we did 5 of those, up the hill and around, about a 400? I was feeling pretty good considering it was a monday and I usually die on mondays. I guess my easy bike ride yesterday actually helped :)

Then we went over to that other state hill, the one after the pond. This one too should have a name if it doesn't already.  This one was just an up the hill and continue on for FOREVER (or so it seemed) and then jog back to the start. 4 of those.

Then we went over to another hill, this one wasn't as bad as the other ones. It was kinda like miranda. I liked the downhill. :) 4 of those.

Then for some reason I thought we were done, so when I found out we still had to do another hill I was ready to punch someone. I REALLY didn't want to do it. And this hill was a hard one. It was the one right at the start of state, and by now I was NOT feeling good. I was just ready to be done right then. But of course there was more. We did 4 of that hill. It too should have a name.

Then we ran up to 19th and along there until sunnyside and then back. By then I was really out of it. I saw a lot of people I know and pretty sure I gave them weird looks as I tried to figure out who they were, but then i'd figure it out as it's too late to smile or wave... whoops.  

AM:

Freezing cold rainy weather. Not so great to run in. It's awesome that it rained, but when you have to run in it at 6 in the morning when it's super cold, not so fun. We went down to 13th and to south temple, then up V street? I don't really know I just followed the pack. When we hit the road the cemetery's on we turned left and went up death hill. I was feeling good up until south temple, so I really wasn't feeling great. I did stop and walk for a bit, but of course Bill caught me, I didn't even see him in the dark. Then we did the shriner's run back, and I just tried to catch Bill, who I now knew was there and could pick out where he was. I spent the rest of the run just trying to catch up. I never did, but I caught Emma who was with him for a while. I stopped at 5.25

PM:

Bill got there literally right as I got there. Nice surprise. That meant we would be done early! :)

Mile warmup and a mile speed changes. I did them pretty fast actually. I was feeling good :) We weren't told the entire workout, just that we had to hit an 800 at a certain time. I was to hit 3:10. Then when we finished he'd say to stay consistent and hit the next 800. By then I was thinking we were doing 8 800s, so when he said last 800 I was soooo happy!! 1 lap in between each. I hit 3:06, 3:06, 3:06.

but that didn't mean we were done with speed. He said we were now going to do 400s. He didn't say how many. These felt great after the 800s! I also learned what it feels like to go to your arms because I paid attention to that when I got tired. I was supposed to hit 92s. The stupid football players kept getting in my way and mocking us. That was the only downer. I hit 87, 87, 84, 84.

Then he said we were doing 200s. I love 200s!!! Except this was where I was starting to feel not so great. Same deal with the not knowing what we're doing part. I was supposed to hit 40s. I hit 39, 39, 40, 39.

Then we did 2 grass laps cool down. 

Well our bus got there late, so absolutely no warmup for the girls. They gave us T-shirts to wear because their coach got cancer. I actually like them.

Bill just said go fast enough to win to Abigail, and my job was just to keep up, and so was everyone else's I think. First mile sucked. It seemed way fast, but I figured that was only because of no warmup. It was a 6:05ish. Then the 2nd mile I wasn't doing as bad as I have in the past, and I kept pushing. They didn't say times this time. The 3rd I started to crash and I wanted to slow down or walk so bad, but I forced myself not to. I think that finish could've been a lot better. I got so annoyed in the middle of the race though because there were so many bugs and I kept getting them in my eyes or mouth or whatever. It was disgusting!!!

The finish sucked too because I thought I was done but it kept going and going and going! And then we turn and there is no one to direct us where to go, and I'm all alone, so I start going the wrong way, so confused where to go when they finally wave me down and I go over there. I almost got out-kicked, but I made sure I didn't. I wasn't in the greatest mood when I finished, and then Bill yelled at Emmaline and I to go with Abigail for a cool down and I hadn't recovered yet. That seemed really fast for backing off. The cool down wasn't so bad, but I didn't like starting so soon. We played on the playground after and it was great :)

Then I found out that I'm not racing the rest of the season and that made me sad. But I know it's for my own good so I won't complain too much about it. :( 

AM:

We went up sunnyside to foothill to 9th and then went to the gully thing. We did a lap and then went back to the track and did 3 chase 300s. Then 2 grass laps cool down.

PM:

We did part of the VA loop and cut across guardsman then went to the white tree at sunnyside. We then did 3 laps of speed-change type things. Then finished the VA loop.

We went up to Sam's cabin today! It was fun! But the run was horrible. I debated whether or not to stay and help with breakfast, but then decided to go for the run. My thinking on this was "it'll be easy, Bill said something about a recovery run." I couldn't have been more wrong. The first mile was all REALLY steep uphill, and then when we finally FOUND the trail we were trying to get to, it was still hilly. My calves were killing at this point, that whole area. I did stop to walk a bit because I just couldn't handle it. No wonder the others turned back right at the beginning. They got a clue. Then we turned around and went back, it wasn't nearly as bad but the hills had worn me out and I wasn't feeling too great. We were going slow though and it was downhill, so I managed until we were off of the trail. Then I just tried to stick with the group, but lost them on the 2nd to last hill, which was probably the steepest hill to go up in a long time. All I could think of was: Hill week part 2.