Bunny the Cow

I am so thankful for General Conference! I don't understand why I am so traumatised by my memories or why I had so much fear. With each talk I felt more free, I no longer feel like a slave to my fears. I now really understand I can do all things with Christ. I also love President Nelson's talk; I need to think Celestial in all I do. I see no room for fear when I am thinking about who I will become. I am going to therapy tomorrow but I don't think I need it as my problems have literally washed away.

47:33. After General Conference weekend I feel very different. I am noticing how much less negative self talk I am doing and I am not being controlled by fear. I am so grateful for Jesus Christ and His gospel! I decided not to go to therapy because I don't know what needs help anymore. My memories don't have power over me anymore.

Not sure how far but ran to Good Earth with William in around 21:30.

1 mile warmup and then did 2 in 12:04. Ran to the car in around 9:20 pace. First mile was in 6:00, last quarter was 94. It was hard to get myself to push. I feel so mentally weak; everything is making me stressed. I have no more anxiety from PTSD but I am very behind in school because of it.

With William we did about 2.8 miles in around 8:20 pace. I was so exhausted mentally from working 10 hours, failing at school, and family stress. 

Did one in 10:10 with Leigha and one in 8:43 with the other girls. Ran to Good Earth with William in around 21:00. Doing better mentally. I feel so week and pathetic. I have been struggling for 22 days. I never thought I could struggle so much because I thought I was tough. I need to remember that I am tough and life is beautiful. I just want life to be easy, I just want peace.

One in 7:57 then did 1.75 in 10:32. I broke contact at 1.5 with 9:03, I had to dig deep for the last quarter. I am doing very well mentally. The rest of the miles were 8:00 pace. It was very hard to breathe, maybe I should take iron again. I took Gideon to the canyon and we ran a mile but with lots of stops, around 8:00 pace. I am grateful I am not as stressed, I need to focus on improving mentally though because I am getting thrown of course so easily.