Sock tans

Today is kind of an off day. My doctors won't be seeing me today (I guess the weekend doc only is required to see you once either Saturday or Sunday, and she saw me yesterday). It's really mellow, not as many groups.

My lithium levels came back as 0.4, which surprised me. The last time I was on this dose (in January) and they put me back on it, it went up to 0.9. I'm not sure what that means for the future, if my doc is going to keep me on the same dose, retest, or increase the dose (probably unlikely). I'll meet with him tomorrow.

I'm getting anxious to leave but I could see myself staying in here for a couple more days. It all depends on what my doctor says in regards to meds. I'm a bit sad because a couple of the other patients are leaving tomorrow. So if I stay longer it'll be a little different without them. 

So the weekend doctor raised the lithium dose to 900mg since my lithium level was just barely low. I'm honestly nervous about this because my hypothyroidism got really bad the last time they raised the dose. My hair was falling out, I was cold all the time. I don't want to go through that again. I wish there was a way I could wait until tomorrow to take it so that I could talk to my doctor first. But alas, I don't have that kind of control. Kind of annoyed that they just raised the dose without talking to me first. I could've told them I have hypothyroidism (my TSH was already high when I came in) and don't want to raise the dose any higher than it already is. But oh well, I suppose one dose won't hurt too much. I'm just annoyed.

Met with my treatment team this morning, they dropped me back down to the 750mg dose of lithium. They also lowered the abilify to 2mg. Plan is to eventually come off of abilify and lithium and rely solely on Lexapro. But for now, and for a little while, to be on both Lexapro and lithium. 

Discharge is set for tomorrow! I'm ready. It's been a long week lol. But it was refreshing and healing, definitely much needed. 

I was discharged today! It's been strange to get back into life. But it's been good. One of the first things I did when I got home was go for a run. It was so refreshing. It poured on me the last half mile but it was the perfect temperature for running. Shorts and a long sleeve.

Now that I'm out of the hospital I feel so free lol. Being locked on unit for 8 days makes you appreciate being able to go out and do whatever you want whenever you want.

I'm going to go back to work on Friday. My doctor recommended taking a couple days to readjust to normal life before jumping back into work. So that's what I'm going to do. 

I had therapy yesterday and discussed what happened in the hospital. My therapist doesn't agree with the borderline personality disorder diagnosis so she wants me to get a second opinion. She strongly believes I have bipolar disorder just from what she's seen in me. She also believes I need more support right now than she can give me with just weekly therapy. So she wants me to enroll in an intensive outpatient program. I still have a lot to figure out regarding work and finances so I don't know if I can but I think it would be helpful so I'm going to try.