Sock tans

VERY windy day today. Warmups and form mile before the run. Today was survival day on End of the World (meaning don't fall off the pack into no-man's land, so that when we go up into the mountains we don't get eaten by a bear. After all bears don't like fast food). Haha anyway, pace was pretty quick at 6:57 average but the wind obviously helped, though I bet without it we still would've been under 7:15 average. I started feeling it around the 4th mile but didn't start to struggle until the 5th, fell off the pack at 5.5, though my last 2 miles were consistent at 6:49 and 6:50 so they must have sped up. We all hopped into coach's truck at the 6 mile and I did another mile back at the track.

HR 54

Shout out to Connor for getting called to Paris, France and my Roommate Megan for getting called to Jacksonville, Florida!

Had class right before practice, I made it on time but had to go to the training room for my knee exercises before I could start running. I got out in time to do the last half mile of the form mile. Real cold and windy. 5k group consisted of Angie, the Ashleys, Brighton and I. Our workout was a 60%. We did it on Cross Hollows and started at the trail. It just wasn't a very good day. It was supposed to be 5 miles at the 60 but I broke down at the 4th. Splits went 6:31, 6:34, 6:54, 7:48. Then gave up on the pace because I was just so frustrated with myself. Everyone in the 5k group are our top runners for Cross and then there's me. I couldn't even keep up on the warmup, they just go so fast and I'm just so discouraged that I can't keep up.

HR 57

Went in to talk to coach today because I have been discouraged. I told him about feeling tired and how my legs have felt so heavy for months. He says I look really fatigued in practice and he's trying to figure me out :) I'm going to see if I can get some blood tests done cause coach wonders if there's something going on, he says I'm the only one who hasn't adapted to his program. Usually by now freshman start to bring their times down a lot, but I still look so tired in practice. Hopefully the tests show something, if not I don't know why I'm struggling so much. Missed the warmups and form mile because of our talk. Did a mile warmup then started the workout. 5k group did 6x800s at 5k pace, coach put the range as 2:38-2:48 so I decided to shoot for 3:00. Hit 2:58, 2:53, 2:57, 2:58, 3:02, 3:02. Cooled down to 8.

HR 62

Easy run on my own, Dikes + Canyon run.

Carpooled to UVU with the other redshirts, I ran their warmup as a shakeout and added to 2. Warmed up 2 more miles then strides, stretching and drills.The meet was behind and took forever to start the races, I warmed up too soon. Worst race of my life (okay second worst, Roy Griak definitely takes the cake there). I considered dropping out halfway through but decided against it. Came through the mile at 5:49 then died. 6:45 (12:34), and 7:22 (19:56) were my other splits, then 50 seconds for the last .1. Skipped the cool down because we needed to head back to Cedar.

I've thought a lot about my race, and I know that mentally I wasn't there and I could've improved my time a lot if I would have been more positive. It was a good learning experience. I've also thought about how I am running right now and think it is almost a blessing. Obviously I wish that I could be running as fast as I was last year, but it has made me more grateful for signing with SUU. Coach, instead of cutting my scholarship out of frustration that I can't hit the times he wants me to, is genuinely trying to figure out a way to get me better for the years to come. He doesn't think any less of me because of how I am performing right now and instead sees the potential in me and every other athlete that he has had and focuses on what we can become. I know of a few coaches that would do the opposite. It has also pushed me towards serving a mission, I don't know what my choice would have been if I was doing really well right now. I know that I am going to have the best and hardest times on my mission, but know I will love it and be extremely grateful for serving one.

Easy run on my own after conference. Calves are sore from wearing spikes for the first time in months yesterday.

For those looking for an uplifting message I'd encourage you to watch tomorrow's general conference sessions at 9:30 AM and 2:00 PM MDT. They are available online at lds.org or on the radio or TV.

"As you prepare for general conference, I invite you to ponder questions you need to have answered. … There are messages in each general conference given as a gift and a blessing from heaven specifically for our personal life situations."

- President Dieter F. Uchtdorf