Believe to Achieve

this is actually 3/28 and 3/29 appt with curtis neisen.  injection into both hips of lidocaine like drug.  pain at injection site no bueno with lifting legs.  still sore next day (tues 3/29)  been very sad lately from break up of brookes boyfriend at interim when missionaries sent home march 2020.  brooke home april 2020 due to anxiety.  hung out with him (josh) for two months before he was reassigned to florida when he broke up with her.  brooke unable to process it well began to ignore him when he texted or rudely respond,  that when he got back 13 months later and she was not at homecoming but at disneyland, (because quoting brooke "he didn't invite me").  so she saw him a week after back and it was awkward and he came over to remove a tree for me and acted different.  she became more distant to him and did stuff with other friends while he went to byu and met someone in november.  and in decemeber i learn this : she found out by an accidental snapchat from ronan to his apparent girlfriend that said "I love you" then "josh is over here making out on the couch"    Then ronan texted "oh sorry brooke that was meant for my girlfriend"  well brooke was hurt and let her grades plummet that she worked hard to get up.  and as a mother I was hurt because brooke kept herself on hold for this guy for two years, emotionally spiritually and mentally. and I watched it crush her as he left the first time to leave.  both crying knowing it would be a long two years without each other.  hanging each day together until july 31 2019 of their senior year.  josh told brooke she was reason he went when he did and on his mission wrote her how much he missed her in like december.  continued to write and i think josh was pretty upset to come home because of covid, everyone was,,, brooke on the other hand left on her mission jan 19 2020 and did great in mtc but not so well anxiety wise out in the field mid february and THEN covid lock down three weeks later and she tanked. tanked more as missionaries were sent home from her mission and her guy friends.  she came home so sick with anxiety my heart was breaking to see her like this    I was glad to have her back to fix her but really wanted her to return to michigan mission.  but the break up in june just sealed the knife of failure. she got a job in the parking lot of welcome home assisted living a mile away and continued to serve"her mission" there for 18 months until she left for disney world with amber jan 23 , 2022.  so a week out there or so and posts about josh and his girlfriend show on facebook. then six weeks later engagement photos and brooke held it together with some tears and with help of her friends Benton and Hannah she has been able to recoup.  Amber on other hand absolutely detests change and had serious break in her mindset during those weeks.  She always thought brooke and josh would marry and told that to josh a few times while he was on his mission in the early months as he emailed amber too. and amber is struggling with this loss of what she thought would always stay in her life.  So the last few weeks I have tried to help her move on from loss.  not just josh but her senior year being so difficult with her eating disorder taking over after the missionaries all got reassigned.  and soccer her senior year was spectacular despite.  wow she is so good.  but wow mental illness is real.  What i want of all this?  Three young capable smart attractive GUYS (males)  wtih testimonies of the restored gospel to be living lives now to be worthy of my daughters and care and love them for eternity in the future.  Brooke would add athletic to that list. and courtney tall. and amber disney lover.   I seriously pray for this every day because I know families and building families is where happiness lies.  I love this gospel. I love my savior Jesus Christ and I hope I can measure up as a mother  and future mother in law and grandma someday.  

I read an aritcle sunday night "the deeper the love or hurt from a break up for a guy"  the faster they find someone after.  here is exact quote " the speed in which a man moves from a bitter breakup to new amorous attachment is directly proportional to the pain he's feeling- the deeper the hurt the quicker the hookup. "   while the woman is left thinking "wow he didn't ever care for me" and takes a LONG time to process and move on.