Bunny the Cow

48:28 with William. The trauma that I experienced is not giving me anxiety anymore. Talking to my mom helped. I am grateful for all the people in my life who make me so happy! I am also getting much less flashbacks and it doesn't make me panic anymore!

2 with Julia in 17:38 and 2 with the girls in 18:40 I think. The anxiety was gone all day but when talking to a boy I started to panic from flashbacks. I feel like I am victimizing myself, but at the same time what happened is serious. I wasn't exactly hurt when it happened but it feels like my soul is wounded. This has been a problem for 2.5 months, and I fit the criteria for PTSD. I think I am resolving it on my own but if it goes on I should go to therapy. I don't like playing the victim but I shouldn't be experiencing this much anxiety about a memory.

Did a mile and then did 2 in 12:10. I fell back at 1.5 with 9:02. 3 home with Matthew in 25:23. I haven't slept enough and I am stressed from school. I just want to sit and cry, but I have too much to do. But I am happy that I am not a slave to my fear anymore and I am not as disturbed by bad memories.

Did 4 with William in 32:30 I think.

48:52. Doing a lot better mentally, I need to focus on more positive things.

Did a mile in 8:00 then attempted a workout. Ran as far as I could while staying on 6:00 pace. Did 90, 87, 90, 90, 90, 94. Stopped at 1.5 with 9:01. Did the last 3 in around 25:00. My running has been horrible all week. I am exhausted from anxiety, school, and lack of sleep. I am a mess but doing my best to get back on track.