So this week will be interesting as I start up my second new job and finish out my last days at my other jobs this week (tomorrow and wednesday). I'll actually have time on my hands.
Last week in therapy, I had a very startling revelation. I opened up about the abuse I endured as an infant (I don't remember it, just what my mom has told me). My therapist said that from what she knows about sexual abuse, it's very likely I was sexually abused. It was confirmed my biological sister was, and my therapist said that if she was, most likely I was as well.
We did ART therapy (a type of trauma therapy) for both that and the trauma with my coach. I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple months back, and I've been having flashbacks/hallucinations. The past week has been okay. But leading up to it not so much. So I think the ART therapy helped.
Today my therapist pointed out that I was dissociating, something I honestly didn't know was a thing. Dissociation is a trauma response. Today we practiced staying in the present moment rather than dissociating while talking about high emotion things. It was incredibly difficult, but crazy cool because my therapist knew when I was dissociating just by observing body language. I could actually feel it when it was happening too in my frontal lobe/forehead area, the strangest sensation when you're actually noticing it for the first time.
Therapy is really cool, and well, therapeutic. I feel like it's helped me so much.
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