Sock tans

It was HOT

I had a psychiatry appointment this morning, we're going to drop my dose of lithium in a couple weeks (on August 1st)- the reason being I am starting a new job this week so she wants to give me time to adjust to it before we change my meds. I am losing hair like no other, which is caused by lithium (it causes the thyroid to under function). I used to have hair as thick as Tessa's (my sisters) and now it's suuuper thin. I don't wanna be bald so we're finding an alternative before I lose all of my hair. Hopefully it goes well and I don't get super depressed or manic lol. I'll also be starting up an anti-convulsant used off label for anxiety. I've been quite anxious as of late, I don't know why

I have an appointment with my general practitioner on the 27th to test my thyroid/see if I can get a referral for a dermatologist. 

8:39 average

Out and back on Foothill

I'm stressing out about my job, next week I will be the only staff over the day program and I've never worked the day program before. I got a little training on it yesterday but I still feel like I'm just being thrown in. Ahhhhh

I'm also slightly concerned about my mental health, just because of some of the thoughts I've had in the last few days, and I say this hesitantly because I don't want people to think it's worse than it is. I think the stress is just getting to me.

Some of those are things like thinking I'm going to die young anyways, who cares about skin cancer and subsequently not wearing sunscreen and getting fried. So not direct suicidal thoughts but a general apathy about life that is leading to undesirable behaviors.

Apathy about life is a good way to put it. I don't feel that depressed, just apathetic.

I see my therapist on Tuesday.