I didn't run again today. But I did have therapy.
We discussed my dilemma about not having the motivation to do things and yet needing to for the betterment of my health. She basically said everything I already knew but validated it and helped it sink in a little more, and gave more perspective. For example, she pointed out that I'm in a much better position than I was in last year at this time. That while I'm struggling with moderate depression, last year I was in a suicide spiral. And I'm very self-aware. For example, I can feel when a depressive episode is settling in. I can recognize it. I can also recognize hypomania, though I haven't been hypomanic for a while.
She also said something that really surprised me. She said that I'm the only one of her clients actually tracking my moods, and I'm not flaking on therapy where a lot of her clients are doing so right now even though they really need it. She said that holds a lot of significance and means I'm accountable and I'm putting in the effort to get myself healthy.
She also encouraged me to do things that are going to help improve my condition, even if I don't want to do them. She said to think of the future and look at what each action will bring you, and make choices based on that. If it's for the betterment of your health, if it'll bring you peace, and if it'll improve your mood, do it. If it won't, don't.
The wintertime is more difficult for most people because of a lack of Vitamin D, but especially so for those with mood disorders. She recommended me to see someone to discuss in depth what nutrients I might be deficient in and discover ways to get enough of them either through diet or supplements. She also recommended I see a nutritionist to discuss diet and how it affects mood. My mom has mentioned diet being a significant factor before, in fact brought it up again a couple days ago. I might try adjusting it. My therapist also said staying hydrated is important with relation to mood, which surprised me. I don't know how that correlates but I'm going to try to stay better hydrated. And I've been slacking on my mindfulness techniques, so I'm going to recommit to doing one every day. And starting tomorrow, I'm going to go for 7 straight days of running.
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