As an update, I got a second opinion and rescheduled surgery with her because she said she thought she could save my ovary. I feel a lot more comfortable having her do the surgery.
Surgery is scheduled for Friday. She'll be performing a cystectomy and looking for endometriosis and making sure everything looks good. There is a chance that she would have to remove the entire ovary, but that isn't likely. She also said there's a chance she'd have to do a full open surgery if she couldn't see or get to something or if there was a complication, but that's also not likely. I forgot to ask her to clarify but I believe she will also biopsy both ovaries to check for cancer, which isn't likely given my CA 125 came back normal but there's still a chance so we want to rule it out completely.
My Pap smear also came back with an abnormality that puts me at risk for cervical cancer. So I'm going to be getting a colposcopy done tomorrow just to check everything out and make sure it's okay, and if something looks weird they'll do a biopsy to check for cancer.
It's a lot to take in. I'm only 26, so it's unexpected to have cancer, and at this age to have an ovary removed would be a lot. If I have endometriosis or an ovary removed, my fertility could be affected, and that brings its own stress. But for now im just trying to not think about it and get to surgery and hopefully get some answers so that I can stop worrying.
It's a very real possibility that I have endometriosis or cancer and that's fucking scary. But I had therapy today and I told her that I didn't think I could handle it if I got news that I had either. She said that she didn't think she could handle several situations she's been through and she did, and she has all confidence that I could too. So she suggested I try not to worry or get preoccupied by it until I find out for certain whether or not I have it. Because worrying about it isn't doing anything for me right now, just getting in the way of other things.
So I feel a little better. But I'm still very nervous.
The reason I haven't been running is because I run a high risk of an ovarian torsion, especially in physical activity. So I'm waiting until after surgery, and I believe it'll be a few weeks after surgery until I'm cleared to go running. So it may be a while, but I will get back and running eventually.
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