8:27 average
Felt fairly decent for being out of shape. A remarkable improvement from one and two weeks ago though. Last week I felt like I was getting sick so my chest and throat burned on the run, the week before that I had severe fatigue and felt like I was running up a mountain. Today I felt good, out of shape but good. It was somewhat enjoyable especially with music.
I have a lot going on, difficult to summarize. It's been pretty difficult but at the same time I'm doing remarkably well all things considered.
I had therapy today and it's given me a lot to think about. I'm lucky to be alive. My therapist thought when she took me on as a client that I was going to commit suicide, that's how severely depressed I was, and then the change in me has been remarkable. But she said today that I seem to have a victim mindset, and I've been thinking about how wonderful that would be to change my inner narrative to be one of hope and pride. Rather than waiting for the next bad thing to happen to me and only focus on those things that go wrong, change it so that I'm celebrating my victories and looking for the good. Even though the world can be a shitty place sometimes, it can be really amazing too. Making the shift to a victory mindset will I think make all the difference.
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