Believe to Achieve

quick 16 miles at 6am before taking off to Park City for Courtney's bday bash at Olympic Park with her friends and her sisters.  My mom went too. We watched while they did the zip lines and rope courses and alpine slide.    AP 7:51.  

easy run at 820am.  8:43 ap.

2 mile warmup easy.    6 x 1 mile repeats at 10k pace (thinking 6:45 best case scenario) with 90 second jog in between (10 min pace).  Ran 6:48, 6:48, 6:44, 6:44, potty water break 3 min at most.  60 second jog and right back at it.  6:39, 6:39.  SWEAT FEST!!!!!  1 mile cool down in 9:04 total time :D.  love the jogging!!

out and back with jane, kim, jenny, jenny and chandi.  So tired but pushed the pace (due to yesterdays 6 x 1 mile repeats).  Not to mention I am still struggling with depression.  Eating me alive some days.  But better than I was a couple months ago.  AP 7:43.  canal from jane's.

12.5 hour very busy shift in the level 2 nursery.  so tired when i got home but could not fall asleep.  got a race bib from a friend who couldn't run the hobble creek half but the closer it got to race start the more guilty i felt.  i mean the race bible is quite strict.  they really should just charge people 15 dollar change fee.  Doesn't take that much to change a name.  I know I wasn't the only one.  Anyway didn't fall asleep until 1230 then alarm went off at 4:28 am.  I had taken 1/2 a muscle relaxant that makes you sleepy so felt very tired when the alarm went off--tired like drugged tired.  But it was that or not even sleep a wink.  I have been dealing with insomnia for a long time.  My mind just races and races.  Grrrr....so... read tomorrow for details...

Holy flip!! what am I doing????  I felt so drugged from the soma when Kim picked me up.  Kim was like "I slept awesome"   Yay that always makes me feel great.  Wish I didn't struggle so.  It wasn't nerves.  It is just plain old insomnia.  And knowing the alarm is gonna ring at 430am does not help.  So at the start I was so tired my kidneys were in overdrive....I had to pee several times.  Since I had a friend's bib (a guy)...I began to feel more and more guilty as I had read the race bible just yesterday afternoon.  Lots of "better nots" about the race.  So needless to say I was not relaxed at all.  Kim and I were supposed to run together. I had a feeling due to her no speed work this week and her great sleep she was gonna feel pretty good and surpass our goal of easy running it in 1:35 (she ran 1:28:30).  She had invited me Thursday's run to join her and the gang (Jane came in THIRD!! Melanie in FIFTH :D).  Today was not in my plans and I so wanted to bail the moment the alarm went off.    I felt out of body the whole run. Anyone taken soma before??? well it was still in my system and usually stays in me for 24 hours.  The first half of the race I was at 45:08!!!(6.55 miles)  so about 6:48 ap.  Nice work and then mentally I checked out.  I was seriously dead tired so  I walked the hills and through water stations.  At mile 12.3 (hey I was gonna quit at mile 9, then it was 10 and then it was 11...  so to 12.3 was a miracle).  Yup I just jogged over to the side of the road and washed my body in a sprinkler.  Ahhhhh felt so lovely and refreshing.  I took off my bib and ran the rest of the way on the opposite side of the street passing the turn to the finish until my watch read the full half marathon.  1:33:30 most likely if I kept my turtle like speed I was keeping for the last five miles....yup from 8-13 I ran an avg pace of 7:43.   Good thing it felt like a 10:00 pace and not a 6:45.  My friend Jessica passed me at mile 11.4.  She looked strong.  Awake!     Basically no more soma for me 6 hours before I race.  Better to get no sleep then to feel like a graveyard.    All in all this being my first race since St George marathon 2014 i feel a few more races will get me in the groove.  So far this year I have paced four races--Salt lake marathon (3:25), Goldilocks half (1:39), Deseret news marathon (3:45) and the midnight half (1:50--- the hardest of all of them!!humid and too late for my tired brain in 100 degrees).   Made it right under all of the times by one minute except the slc marathon when I bonked and had to rely on my companion to finish on time.  I was ill prepared and really wanted the 3:35 pace gig (I managed to run 3:33:01) and somehow landed at the faster spot.  didn't train well.  Only one 18 miler.  crazy. PLUS-- um my mileage is up to twice what i have been doing. Havent run this many miles in a LONNNNNNGGGGGG time!!