Believe to Achieve

Slept only two hours again!!! SERIOUSLY!?!  Stayed up to go to church at 1pm to see my 12 year old daughter stand up front and be introduced as the newest Beehive Member in Young Women.  She is sooooo lovin' it.  She has already done two activities in Young Women.  They put a  BIG  pink letter "P" on our porch to symbolize "personal progress" and she can't get rid of it until she doesn one of the pass-offs for young women.  She can leave it on any of the other girls doorsteps then.  Kind of fun and motivating for her.  Anyway....I woke soooooo very tired this morning and wondering if I could even get started with running.  Finally left at 8:04am and ran a 2 mile warmup then did 5 x 400m (going to do 5 more after I get my daughter to piano camp at 9am) with a 400 m cooldown.  These were done on my usual running routes.  I couldn't see my pace and I was going by feel.  They were not all out as I could tell I did not have much adrenaline.  I felt massively fatigued-- JET LAG from my long weekend.  MY LAST I HOPE FOR A LONG TIME!!!!!!  I sure switching to dayshift mode doesn't take long for my sleep pattern to improve.  Here are my pathetic first five splits: warm up at 8:59 AP, then  1:33,  1:34, 1:33, 1:33, 1:36 (uphill).  Droppd off Brooke and started again at 9:00am. Ran a 1 mile warmup.  Yup needed another warmup and dang it is hot out. Warmup 9:14, Splits for 400s : 1:34, 1:33, 1:33, 1:34, 1:35, 1:36 (oops, I accidentally counted wrong and ran an extra, good thing the garmin has a brain, I was wondering why the garmin wasn't ending at the interval I put it at.  It was already in cooldown mode).  These paces were very similar to the first five (almost to a Tee) and  were done on the track with a bit of a headwind at times.  I was so sleepy I didn't realize I went over I couldn't figure out why I had already gone 3.77 miles, the math didn't make sense and then I counted my extra split.  I currently feel so sleepy.  My muslces/brain were not up for this run today, so glad its over.  This was an impromptu workout I thought of as I nodded off last night.  I wanted some speed play to get my VO2 up somehow.  Hope it works.  AP for all 10 miles =  8:07.    Wednesday is my bigger speed/tempo (6 to 8 at tempo down AF canyon) day and hope to get sleep tonight in my excitement for my first day shift tomorrow.  It is like starting a new job.   Different things happen during the day.  I hope I don't get confused : D.  I don't know the dayshift nurses  and pcts well either.   At least my brain will be much more alert.  I have been getting headaches the last few days.  Got some reasons for them and so tired of being an aging woman some days.  So wish I were 32 again.  Done with the whining.  Off to do lower body and abs with Courtney. 

zero.o. o.  o.  nil.  Was going to get up at 445am and run three to four miles before work but just couldn't even though I was looking at the clock every 1 1/2 hours!!  A slug.  My first day shift was BRIGHT!!! Like somebody turn down the lights already and where did all these people come from?  It was like the movie inception.  I felt like every one "in my dream" was staring at me as I walked down the halls.  I think I will miss nights for a while until I adjust and my sleep patterns return to "normal".  Right now I am between worlds.   Day shift  was just as long (duh, still 12 hours) and just as busy, maybe busier do to my busy team of patients.  I was at first not listed on the board as a nurse.  My usual night shift charge nurse skipped over me when counting up RNs (freudian slip) and I was almost sent home (not really since I am master float and can't be cut unless I agree).  She had to send home the extra RN.  She was not too happy about that.  I felt bad but told her later she is glad she left since my day was strenuous due to one patient/family.  Some people.  I shouldn't judge.  I will leave it at that.

Of all things to do last night Troy and I took our three girls to the drive-ins in Taylorsville.  It was fun.  The weather was very nice and the breeze was welcoming along with the clear starry night.  I haven't been to a drive-in in over a decade.  So fun to be outside in front of car enjoying two movies together on cushy chairs with our pillows and blankets.  We saw Despicable Me (cute) and Charlie St. Cloud (I have a thing for Zac so this movie was way tolerable. Yes I am happily married).  So....of course I set myself up for the no sleep pattern. We got home at 1:20am.  I slept okay until 6am when Brooke got in our bed then nodded back to sleep until 8:40am in time to get Brooke up and off to Piano Camp at 9:00am when I broke the news that Troy needed to drive me up the AF canyon for my tempo run.  He drove me up 3 miles from the mouth of the canyon and dropped me off.  I left one water at the mouth of the canyon.  No Gus today.  I was stuffed from all the not so good for me treat I ate during the movie and the pizza at staff meeting yesterday.  I started by climbing up two miles nice and easy.  I left at 9:19 am.  The air was cool and crisp but the sunny areas were getting pretty warm.  The canyon did provide some good shade.  9:49, 8:51 (can feel myself getting stronger now).  Conveniently there was a campground potty stop with a great water faucet outside of it.  Drenched my hat and took off back down the canyon.  Kind of getting in the groove the first mile and then maintained a pretty good speed even with the strong head wind which hit more so on the last mile.  Tried to relax.  I tend to get anxiety about speed and then my breathing gets too irratic and I falter.  Splits for five miles: 6:49, 6:29, 6:26, 6:19, 6:33 (AP 6:31 : D)  Water stop.  Hill climb out of AF reaaaallllllll slow for recovery.  Even saw a friend with her kids on their bike and jogged so very nice and easy as I crested the hill.  Then I decided to pick it up moderately and did one more quick mile with a HUGE headwind at 6:47.  The dry wind made me so parched and I felt so worked out by the end here.  I ran easy home.  AP for last 5 miles= 8:02.  Splits for my info: 9:40 (the HUGE uphill and chatting mile), 7:45, 6:47, 8:25, 7:32.  Total AP for 12.1 miles=  7:38.

This was an EARLY STARTER for only a 16 miler.  Drove up to Nunn's Park in Provo Canyon with Kim at 445am.  Met Melanie and JulieE and began running at 5:17am.  Went on the Highway UP or rolling hills UP for 8 and turned around about 1/2 mile past the Deer Creek Dam.  The others ran longer, Kim 20, Mel 21.  I ran completely alone with my oldies music, Meat Loaf and Carly Simon, just rockin' out : D.  Left foot ailing QUITE BADLY and thought if Only I had another right leg.  It is always feeling so good.  Then my left hip started to get involved.  This is partly to blame on my run down the AF canyon yesterday.  It is pretty uneven on the sides of the road and steep in places.  So this run was supposed to be easy, and it was, actually, except for the painful foot I had to overcome with my mind.  Almost caught the threesome at mile 6.75  water stop even with a potty break.  My first mile is always so slow but it was quite uphill, so they pulled away from me right from the start.  This was not an easy course and vehicles, including eighteen wheelers were blowin' by me.  Even turning around didn't help, some climbs on the way back WITH a headwind.  Dang.  AP for 16 miles = 8:02.  Splits: 9:43, 8:02, 8:06, 8:03, 8:06, 8:08, 7:40, 8:34 (big climb passing over the dam), turn around- 7:35 (really feeling the foot now on this downhill), 8:02, 8:01, 7:41,  8:00, 7:50, 7:45, 7:19.  Done, or so I thought.  Ran back up to Bridal Veil falls 1/2 mile.  Soaked for ONLY THREE MINUTES because it was ICY cold and totally intolerable.  Got my shoes back on and ran another 1 1/2 miles on frozen legs.  Took a bit to unthaw, seriously.  Wowsers!!  Turned around just as I caught up to Josse's mom and said "hi" and it was time to turn back to see if the gals had returned.  I got back to the car and they arrived a few minutes later I could see them up on the freeway, Melanie trying to catch Kim in her last mile.  Her running 21 and Kim 20.  We soaked again in a little milder temp river right by the cars, it was a nice blocked off portion. Self-made with rocks.  Still pretty cold.  I am still hungry even after eating three bowls of cereal.  Total miles= 18.  AP for last two miles nice and freezy= 8:49.  

After 18 miler yesterday EARLY morning and waking to going to work by 6am for a 12 hour shift I chose to NOT run today.  Hoping to get out there BEFORE work tomorrow.  Thought I might do some evening runs after work but realize MORNING is easier for me but I am still not adjusted to Day shift.  I was told it would take a few weeks to a month or so.  So...running will take some hits. DANG.  I was so tired by NOON today at work.  Completely confused CLOCK right now.  BUT I think this will be MUCH better in the long run--NO PUN intended  :D

AP for 4.1 = 8:14 at 5:13am before work.  Did the quick shower/change thing and clocked in a little late at 6:07am.  FYI  --- Day shift is KILLING ME OFF.  I haven't felt this exhausted working nights since the first few months.  What am I to do?  I actually miss the night shift schedule meshing better with my kids.  They are safe at home all night and I don't have to worry on night shift.  Now I come home to chaos and excitement when I am soooooo veryyyyy spent.  I can barely write this report.  I truly think I will switch back to PART TIME nights.  I am not liking the BRIGHT LIGHTS and I miss the babies in the nursery (they are out with their mom's all day) and Level two nursery is harder in the daytime because there is no lighting from the outside-- no outside windows, I feel like it IS still night, yet I can't ever sit down because families visit ALL day without a break.  I am now remembering clearly how exhausted I used to be even working full time days two and 1/2 years ago in the NICU.  I think I will just get my prescription for XANAX (been out for 3 months, hence the even less sleep on nights these past months) and switch back.  I can hack parttime and the differential will make up the difference if my husband works and we get State Benefits.  I am also eating more then I ever do because of stress....What to do?  I sound so pathetic.  I miss my scheduled chaos ...I don't like change too well.   I can barely lift my lids to see or move my legs to walk.  JET LAG TO THE MAX!!!