Believe to Achieve

Diary of a Bonk:  The only positive (and it's a good one) that I can extract from all this is meeting and hanging with April!!!  and WITNESSING her AWESOME race from about a mile away!!  I could feel it was her day.  Her focus was on.  Mine was not.  I tried to stay positive on my blog and when talking to April but I was really tired and run down.  I felt really apathetic and no adrenaline at all.  I figured I could at least PR and get very close to three hours but when I didn't sleep for three nights in a row (and not the night after the race either) I could tell it was going to have to be some sort of jump start miracle....I waited for a surge of adrenaline, an ahhhhh feeling but nothing.  I had been somewhat depressed all week and having night sweats every night so I think my estrogen level plummeted to below the surface.  I also had just finished having my third period in 6 weeks lasting over a week.  I felt dimineralized coming in to the race and the insomnia just added to it.  But I have to say it was so very nice to hang with April and feel of her energy and excitement.  When I got up out of my bed at 415am I checked the air outside (after hearing wind all night) and to my dismay the air was putrid warm.  It had to be at least 10 degrees warmer than the morning before.  Later I learned it was 77 degrees!!!  The starting line it was cooler but I never needed my sweats, gloves etc... and tried NOT to be concerned.  April thought it was just fine.  So I stopped complaining.  I felt very out of place in the Elite coral and so wanted to go back behind the line so I stood to the right of April a few people over as I knew she would take off faster than I.  I never saw April the whole race although everyone else that I ran with had seen her.  I was hoping to run at least one mile with her.  Oh well.  At least for the first time I caught up with Kim, Jane, McKenzie, Lily, Kelli etc..... I have never run the first half of SGM under a 1:35ish.  I came to the 13 mile mark at 1:31:09 (not half way yet).  Missed the 1/2 way time clock.  I had taken a gu at mile 11.  Unfortunately that was the biggest mistake I made in the race as it had caffeine.  I thought since I was cresting the hill that it shouldn't affect me like caffeine usually does because I would be going downhill.  Boy was I wrong.  My heartrate started to soar at mile 15 and I couldn't get my breathing under control especially as I came upon mile 18plus.  The second biggest mistake (maybe my first) were my socks that I had just bought at the expo.  Double layer guarantee no blisters socks.  Well that was false advertisment.  I was developing a blister as I was climbing up Veyo.  I was worried what I would do as it got bigger.  I was already changing my form to not land on my big toe.  The pain got so great that by mile 19 I stopped and took off my shoes and threw my socks down on the ground telling the girl to write down my bib number, repeating it for her and whining to her about the most pathetic socks in the world.  I had four blisters brewing and I hadn't gotten a single blister running four hours in the rain at TOU and any of my long run training runs.  So irritated.  Then the next mile I just couldn't move my muscles.  My heartrate was so high that I am guessing it depleted my muscles of oxygen way to early.  I was bonking.  I started to cry when Kelli came by me asking her to come along with her.  I told her I was wanting to quit and that I was in too much pain.  Then Tyler came by me and we shared a moment of "misery loves company" .   We talked about how crappy we felt and how awesome we were supposed to feel coming upon mile 24.  We felt ridiculous.  He was experiencing similar breathing issues.  I felt better knowing someone was feeling just as bad because for a moment there it seemed EVERYONE was passing me.  Nice for some runners to tell me I was doing well but I was not nice and told them I was not doing well at all.  Bonk o'rama.  Here are my splits-- really surprised that even with the four minutes of lost walking time I never went over an 8:27 pace.  I must have been running faster than I thought when I did run.  I had my watch in hide mode so I couldn't freak out. 

7:07

7:08 yikes, I feel like I am going faster.  But I really HAVE to PEE badly.  I have to go so bad that some is spilling out accidentally.

6:40

6:34

6:40

6:24

6:36-- catch the group and ask what to do about having to pee.  I hate porta pottie.  I then remember I have a skirt and squatting modestly is easier with one so I take off thru to the woods and catch back up with everyone (McKenzie, Tyler and Jane) (Mel and Kim are just 10 seconds ahead and Kelli too).

7:29   Veyo.  Feeling strong and talking to Jane.  She answered with one word sentences so I tried to not talk anymore. Blister coming on.

7:17

7:11  Saw AmberG walking.  Shocker.  Sad.  And really I thought later that being with Amber would be really nice at the moment.

7:31  Chocolate GU w/caffeine.  I don't even take caffeine drinks or gus but I like chocolate and I really was getting sick of strawberry banana.  Why oh why don't I ever learn?  I seem to make my own adversity.  I am surely insane.

7:10  April and I compared our splits.  Right here we should have seen each other because we ran these within seconds of each other. 

6:57

7:04

6:47  Should have been faster for the effort.  Heart rate climbing on the downhill.  Now that is unusual.

6:33  Lily came up beside me.  I was beginning my bonk.  But I thought if I just try to stay with her maybe I would come out of it.  This was mile 16.  I let her go.  My heart couldn't take it.

6:47

7:05

7:56  The HILL of DEATH.  The heat was turned up greatly here.  I took a water handed out to me by a little girl.  The packaged water bottles from costco.  I poured a lot of it on my head.  Jane passed me here.  When I got to this aide station (aide stations are at odd number miles) I took off my shoes and took off my shocks in total disgust.  Great now I have to run 7 miles without socks on.  That only created more blisters on the tops of my feet. 

7:53  Not liking the sockless motion in my shoes but eventually I am in so much pain I can't zero in on any one problem.  My whole body was freaking out, especially my left leg and shoulders and spine and HEART.  Still racing.  No amount of water thrown on me was taking it down.  I was trotting now and was so wanting to walk but told myself to just get to the next mile before walking.  I began to cry.  Kelli came by.  Odd I thought she was miles ahead doing some sub three.  She later told me she hated passing me.  But really I could care less.  No amount of pyschology could have pulled me out my rut at that moment.  I could not get myself to run with her.  I told her I wanted to quit and that I was losing it.

7:19.  I don't remember picking it up.  Maybe it was Kelli's urge.  I also think I thought I was doing worse than I was.  My brain was playing tricks on me.   I didn't even have the mindset to think where I was on time in the marathon until the last mile.

8:05 Walking SLOWLY for a moment here.  Trying to get my heartrate down. My breathing was ridiculous. 

8:27  Walking thru the aid station.  Took at least 6 cups of water from the crew here and poured them all over me.  Too bad it was warm water.  Started to run and Tyler said hi to me.  That was unexpected.  We began to whine to each other about how pathetic we felt.  He was also having breathing problems.  We wallowed and moaned and groaned.  We were wondering as we came upon mile 23 why we couldn't feel the magic of the mile like we have in the past.  This was mile 23s split so somehow I pulled my head out.   I don't know what happened to Tyler.  He was gone as soon as he appeared.  It was all dreamlike and fuzzy.

7:17  The wonderful crowd that I usually love.  But I was just holding on by a string and feeling really sorry for myself.  Why oh Why Today of all days.  What did I do wrong?  I wanted it to be over-- the quest for subthree.  I wanted to not have to work for it anymore.  I am 42 years old and I wanted to move on from this goal.  I guess I am meant to keep running.  Blah. 

7:21   I didn't know my splits here.  I wasn't wanting to ever look at them as I felt like I wasn't even moving.  I saw the one mile to go clock at 3:01:30something.  I tried to do the math and I calculated a marathon PR if I had the strength.  My UVM marathon was a 3:09:13.  I couldn't believe that I was feeling this badly here.  I was way more prepared for SGM then UVM.   I felt bad at UVM but never this bad and the last 6 miles were so awesome at UVM with Kim at my side just chugging along.  Never thinking I was dying a slow death.  How could this be?  SERIOUSLY!!!

7:18  Every CELL in my body was hurting. Shoulders, arms, ribs etc... nothing was NOT in oxygen debt. 

AND finally HOPED FOR MP for .28 miles at 6:47.  WHAT A CRUEL JOKE.  But I am not laughing.  I was so disappointed that I couldn't even go over to all my stellar friends.  I walked to my family and told them that I was quitting.  Then I just had to get over it.  Nothing could be changed.  I ran the best I could for the day.  If I went back I could only change the GU and the socks--- but really I couldn't.  No one can ever turn back time.  So what's done is done.  I couldn't change the fact that I didn't sleep, I was iron depleted and the HEAT WAS ON WAY TOO HIGH FOR ME.    I grabbed my HEAD OUT AND I WALKED OVER TO MY FRIENDS and turned MY FROWNY FACE INTO A SMILE.  April, Kim, Jane, Melanie, Julie, Mckenzie and Kelli all rocked it out there!!  I was so happy to be up in front while it lasted.  I will be back for the fight again.  This time MORE PREPARED MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY.  Thanks everyone for all your wonderful support.  Keep running!! 

Decided to TORCHER myself by putting on my tried and TRUE socks (with holes) and just HAD to go for a run.  AHHHHHH did they feel like ME.  Seriously I am the biggest idiot I know to change to a different brand of socks on race day.  Ran around the neighborhood on the trail by the mobile home my in-laws own in St. George.  AP slow of course 48 hours post marathon---9:25.    I just had to run 2.62 miles to add to the torcher. 

nothing.  I got up like normal people do before work and didn't run in the wee hours.  I think I thought I was going to like die after my sub three marathon.....because now I am depressed as I look around at the remnants of my summer affair with running madness and say to myself "what was it all for?"  as the years pass by and I just keep getting older and not younger....blah,  I am like "who am I really?".  All the fun times this summer crazily running miles-- 4 marathons in less than four months.  Started and ended with PRs.  Some moments I would like to capture in time forever-- running up Sogonamit marathon with Kelli being one and running down TOU marathon with Risa and Nickie the other.  I also think I have an anxiety disorder.  Overstimulated in crowds so the small town races  I am more myself.  I don't even think I focused much on the race during the race until  I realize we were in a race and no one really talked much anymore.  I so loved running with Jane up Veyo.  I ran from running partner to running partner chatting up a storm with many a friend along the way.  That is what running is about to me.  This racing thing is a drag.  No time to chat and laugh and pee.  No worries  I will redeem myself but I honesly do not have a great self image at the moment.  Those marathon photos are absolutely hideous.   Not sure when I will be back for my surprise ending but sometime between now and when I am fifty.  : D.    My analogy for the marathon for me last Saturday:  It was like at one point I was floating down stream merrily along seeing all my good running friends along the way and suddenly a current pulled me and others back and others caught the waves and moved forward swiftly.  I got a lot of debris in my eyes and could no longer see clearly and then out of no where Kelli appears, then Tyler and then Lily--- friends once more in the marathon river to the finish line.  It has been a great year with many a running friend along the way.  No matter how we got there we all ended and started  in the same place, just as in life itself, : D.

8.2 very slow miles all about the same pace, no variation really-- AP 9:07.  It was cold, windy and snowed an hour after my run.  Seriously!!!  But time to take care of myself. Renewed hope.  Apparently my ferritn level is lower than last year and that I was near death in the marathon for a good reason.  I fit all the symptoms I am about to post from a site on the internet.  Ferritin carries iron which carries hemoglobin to your tissues (oxygen).  Ferritn level is directly related to iron level in the body.  Since I was bleeding for over three weeks from the end of August to the week before the marathon I was not ready for my further running (heel strike hemolysis) to take me under and spit me out.  I am TEXTBOOK to what happened.  I can't tell you how much pain ALL of my muscles were in during the marathon.  You can tell by my picture taken by the photographers in the marathon.  It was excruciating.  I was in oxygen deprivation in a big way.  I was SOOOOOO SORE all over the top half of my body after the race and for three days later like I had run that marathon ONLY with my upper body but really it was the lack of hemogobin to my muscles and chest and heart (myoglobin).  Here is part of the article.  (YUP more IV iron therapy for me.  I can be REBUILT : D).    Even this run was hard for me.  Same as last year.  That is why I had to run super slow for me with absolutlely no picking it up.  My pelvis is ailing and feeling like it is going to crumble again.  As soon as I was transfused all these symptoms went away.  Alleluyah!! 

Overview

Ferritin, a protein in the body, stores iron and releases it when needed, and acts as a mediator and a transporter for iron. The amount of ferritin in the body is directly related to the amount of iron in the body. Ferritin works harder in the body when threatened with infection, stress and cancer. However, ferritin levels can decrease if the body bleeds. This is because iron attaches to blood. Side effects result with low ferritin levels.

Low Oxygen Levels

Low ferritin levels correlate with low iron levels in the blood. Iron carries oxygen via the red blood cells. When iron levels drop, less oxygen travels through the body. Initially, you will experience shortness of breath, perspiration and fatigue. Prolonged oxygen deprivation results in difficulty catching your breath and fainting. The skin becomes pale and the heart and lungs will be affected. This can be a life-threatening event.

The first three miles were so very slow.  Breathing labored especially in the cold air.  Actually wore my black tights, head band, two shirts and gloves.  Pelvis to hamstrings ailing--- shooting nerve pains.  Again, this all went away as soon as I was transfused.  I am gathering again my breathing pattern will improve.   Have to run slow so  I don't tax myself more plus it just doesn't feel good to run fast.  I seem to be lacking adrenaline as well.  Still feeling quite depressed but I read that low iron causes depression as well.  It seems to be linked to many problems in the body.  I found lots of good articles on what to eat and what not to eat to get levels up but in my case it is so low that it would take months and inactivity to increase my level without IV infusion.  I feel so stupid that I didn't just go to the Dr.  I really don't like visiting the Dr.  There is quite the story for that too but I will leave that to the grave or best selling book in the future  : D.    AP after miles 1, 2 and 3 at 9:26, 9:32, 9:14  =  8:48.  I can't believe there is so much snow on the mountains again.  Didn't it just finish melting?  and so low to us!!!!!!  YOU COULD FEEL THE FREEZER BURN from it. 

Called at 430 am to tell me I was being pulled to Orem Hospital.  Two minutes later called to tell I was going to Utah Valley Hospital on Peds (because another nurse wasn't trained there).  Then when I got to peds I was sent to NICU.  Yay!!  Since I worked there last week and for 17 years it was nice.  HOWEVER I was super tired and could not fall back to sleep.  I lost 50 minutes of sleep with this call.   So I rolled out bed and decided to run.  All bundled except a hat I got outside in the rain.  Drizzled cold rain the entire run.  Got in 4.2 miles at 8:42.  My pelvis ached after the run and I never had this problem but just before the SGM, like the week before I started getting plantar fasc. symtoms.  Totally  bugging me now.  Started to rub my calf like crazy and it is letting up.  Went to the BYU football game at 8:15pm last night (left at 7pm with all my family).  Got additional 6 tickets for free.  Stayed until 1030pm then drove home with Amber, my littlest.   Got in bed at 1115pm.  Now off to work at American Fork hospital where I usually work : D.   Still depressed about running.  Not feeling too well on my runs physically/mentally.  Still feel a lack of adrenaline and I guess iron.  Although I am surre I am just finding excuses for my lack of performance.

8 miles really easy at 6am in the dark cold air.  Love the summer when 6am is nice and light out.  But starting  to get used to the fact that this is the way it is for winter and will get even worse with the time change in a few weeks.  At least for morning runners ;D.   Did about 5 pickups for like .05 miles each so obviously not much.  First mile I was wondering if  I was really going to run 8, I felt so sluggish and I was worried about aggravating my PF symptoms in my right foot.  Still don't know if it is true PF as I have never had it and I have had a lot of back pain lately so could be a disc problem.  Hamstrings still a little tight so when I got to a stop light  I stretched those and other leg muscles and I felt renewed strength.  SHOCKINGLY I did an upper body work out.  Feel great right now but I am sure I will pay for it tomorrow.  I did planks times two-- 90, 30, 30, 60, 30, 30.  (my core was fine it was my arm muscles that were ridiculously weak and shaking espec. front plank after 60 seconds and left plank-- my left arm, I am right handed).  Then I did pushups.  Following the 100 push up model.  Never made it too far before because I would get side tracked with more running.  Will try harder this time.  Did the middle group (since I can do over 6 pushups right now).  That  group had me do 6, 6, 4, 4, 5 with 60 seconds in between.  Not looking forward to increasing the amount on Wednesday with sore arms!  Then I did side raises, biceps (two types), triceps (two types), rows, lay on your back and push up on weights (whatever are those called?)  That's it.  Did enough damage.  I have to say I was pretty down yesterday about my lack of fitness and my sad performance.  Hoping to pull my head out and feel positive about my goal to go sub three someday.    After I kept running today I felt a little more like myself towards the end.  This recovery has been difficult.  And Halloween (my favorite holiday) is not helping.  I want to eat healthy and there is crap everywhere.  I had pumpkin pie for dessert for lunch at work yesterday and it is not even November.  AP today with a 9:36 opening mile-- 8:29 for 8 miles.  Kinks in my legs are slowly evaporating!!  I forget how in the old days when I would only train for about four weeks for a marathon and run a 3:41 that it took me over two weeks to feel good to even run a step.  So I am making progress. 

FIRST OF ALL-- GOOD NEWS. The sock company that had the guarantee no blisters feel really badly for what happened with their socks causing four large blisters in only a few miles into the marathon, so they are sending me a variety of pairs to try.   NICE.

Okay, I  was only go to run eight miles but did a loop instead of an out and back.  That is always dangerous as I tend to go out further and further, so 1.2 miles over.  But it was quite enjoyable in the foilage.  It was actually warm to start out with and then the clouds came blowing in.  That was nice.  Wore my black running skirt.   Felt fine.  Foot acted up past 8 miles, so glad I was stopping.  Ran super easy.  MY ARMS WOULD NOT LET ME EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING FAST.   I could barely move them when I first started out.  Ridiculously sore.  This is why I hate to work out my upper body.  But it does get better and then when I flake for a bit it is too keen in my memory that I don't want to start up again.  This time I will be tougher.  AP for 9.2=  8:28.  First mile @ 9:06.  : D.  Ran past the Mt. Timponogos Temple and ran into a friend I made at the PG rec center during the winter.    It was like seeing an old friend.   We really bonded when we met.  She moved here from Vegas as I remember and she told me how horrible UVM was for her with a 12 minute potty line stop, she came in at 4:45.  I told her she just needed the right pacer-- me.  I would so love to run her in for a four hour marathon.  She said she was done with marathons but I tried to convince her otherwise.  She was on her way into the Temple.  I felt pretty lucky to run into her.  Fun to catch up.    BTW this soreness only makes me want to eat more. 

Ran at 615am in the cold and dark.  BUT I wore my shorts in open rebellion to the wavering weather (with headband warmer and gloves and longsleeves : D).   Was feeling pretty good in the beginning (except the darn PF that I decided is my new "achilles heel" since now my achilles no longer aches during runs, but PF SURE DOES, OUCH!!!).    At just over a mile I ran into some other runners.  Thought they were friends from my old ward that was divided in May so  I turned around to run with them.  Turned out they weren't but it was Jane's sister in law Lisa  and her neighbors, so we ran for over a mile together.  I had easily caught up to them so their pace was well over 9.  My mile with them was 9:23 which   I could tell I was pushing them because half of the group was further behind now.   I didn't mind but I had to be back at my house before 7:30 for my daughter Courtney so I told them I needed to go.  At least they got me off of my comfortable dark time runs around my hood.  I was now off on Canyon road alone but slowly but surely it was getting lighter so I did my usual route over there passing by Kim's house and looping here and there.  Really what I am afraid of are the unleashed dogs that people put out in the mornings thinking noone is out there.  They come charging at you.  Even if there is a fence around them it kind of freaks me out.  AP for 8 miles=  8:22.  PF really achy by the end but still did upper body even though I am still super sore.  Better than yesterday but quite difficult to do the pushups this sore so twice I had to do girl ones.  Did the same workout as Monday for all the arms and planks and pushups.  HURTS SO GOOD, right?  : D.  Pretty hungry now. 

Foot is constantly in pain--- inner heel, not arch. PF or stress fracture. I don't fit the classic signs for PF. It does look slightly swollen, so maybe a torn tendon to the heel? just ridiculous I tell you!! ice feels fine when on but area burns as it thaws and pain just as great after wards. Same with heat. Worked 12 hour shift and it was very hard on my foot and annoying to have the constant pulsating pain esepcially with walking on it. BlAH. work again tomorrow. NO running until I can see if NOT running is the solution---if I see any improvement I will hold tight about seeing a dr. and take more time off my MEDICINE (running).  DANG.  seriously have issues with TIME OFF.  I don't know how any of you handle MED-WITHDRAWALS!!!  AMAZING !!!

another run-less day.  seriously did I dream my summer of running?  it seems so long ago.   worked all day.  it was extremely busy.  no time to sit but go go go.  my foot was throbbing.  i was hoping at one point it would all go away like magic.  still holding out for a miracle.  i so need to run pain free again.  my toe nail on my injured foot, middle toe, fell off three days after the marathon.   there was a little piece of nail left by the cuticle and I used nail clippers to take it off so it wouldn't rub today.  well i cut too close the skin and it bled like crazy then stung like a bugger as it rubbed in my shoes all day at work.  i was not in a good mood about this.  hopefully it will get my mind of my painful foot that a dr at work thinks is a stress fracture of the heel.  he said he has seen this injury a lot.  hmmmm.  not going for the scan yet.  giving it time to magically heel.  but if not...maybe a scan.  blah.   I meant "heal" in that last sentence.  A little play on words i guess.  tomorrow i am off work.  how can i not run on a saturday day off?    kelli is just as insane as i.   don't want to use the word stupid.  we are just addicts ; D. Oh yah, was up early and couldn't fall asleep so I did my upper body workout.  i am on the next step in the 100 push up challenge so i did 8-6-6-8-7 pushups with 90 seconds stretching/resting in between plus weights and planks.  getting stronger up top.  got to find some positives : D.

12.5 miles--- ooops was only going to run 12.  But I ran with my stopwatch and didn't know mileage until  I got back and used the old faithful course tool.  AP 8:36.   I thought I was a 9 AP so that is why I ran close to 1:48 time (1:47:29).  But apparently it was my arms from all the upper body making my effort seem like I wasn't moving.  Legs really got a few kinks in them.  PF?  in right foot let up at times in the run.  Left leg IT from race showed up a bit too.  Still waiting on iron IV.  Insurance doesn't cover as much this year but I have a HSA so I have to price everything out.  But I am eating quite healthily.  My dr. ordered a bunch more lab tests too.  Honestly I don't want to hear about it.  And just move on.  But I guess I have to.  Oh yah, the biggest blister that wrapped around my right big toe and in between it and my second toe is finally peeling off.  It was so huge!! and massively painful in the race.  The one on the top of my foot--from taking off my socks during the marathon for 7 miles--- is still healing.  I think it will still be another week.  It was a pretty DEEP blister.  Lots of layers of scabbing!!! gross.    Oh  the best part of this run is I ran into Kerri and we ran 6 miles together.  I told her all about my wild summer and my big flop.  She was injured for three months so I hadn't seen her.  Now we are going to run all Fall together ; D.

Some of my labwork back.   I am not a Dr.  but I am pretty intelligent about reading labs and taking clinical symptoms to go with them to come to a diagnosis.  I see my Dr. this week.  But of course since I have the ability to review my labs I did.  It looks as though not only did my low iron cause some problems at SGM but an apparent HYPERTHYROIDISM!!  yup.  low TSH, very low.  Hmmmmm....symptoms effect every part of your body-- increased heartrate(YUP MILE 15 and 16 downhill), INTOLERANCE TO HEAT (hell-o ST. GEORGE), anxiety, sleeplessness (didn't sleep all week any sort of pattern the week before SGM), irritability, SWEATING  (I had noted on my blog how UNusually sweaty I was getting even in just one mile), and MUSCLE FATIGUE especially in the upper body and quads, oh and the best one weight loss (I was wondering why I was losing weight the week of the marathon)!!!! SERIOUSLY?    No wonder SASHA puts HEALTH before CONDITIONING!!    I have got to get my YING and YANG way more balanced.   Further labs pending.

AP for 8.3 miles =  7:35.  Not sure where that came from on a BUM foot!!  you know I really think once I get all these balances back in my body it will go away because I am STIFF as a board.  All my muscles feel tight--esp lower back and hamstrings.  The darn PF isn't helping either.  My DHEA level came back VERY LOW again as well.  Last year when I felt worse in Sept. it was 40.  When I started to feel better and after taking the med for one week (it made me feel weird) and then rechecked in a month it went to 74.  Normal values being 75-400.  Sunday my value was 61!!! This is the master hormone to every other hormone-- mainly adrenaline, thyroid, etc.....HENCE MY muscle aches and fatigue and stiffness and heartrate issues.  As April put it I am a mess!!   But a HOPEFUL MESS nonetheless!! : D.  Still waiting on my vitamin levels (D and B).  Last year D was VERY low (21), normal is above 40.  B looked good to me in the 300s and my Dr felt it should be higher.  Not sure I believe that necessity.  It was normal for crying out loud.  Let's leave well enough alone.  Actually these values are affected by low iron so there you go.  One thing leads to another.  I felt pretty good starting out today in the cool AUTUMN AIR and seeing all the fall leaves on the ground from the wind storm last night.  IF my foot wasn't ailing I would really have enjoyed this even more.  BUT I really was quite tight everywhere as well.  LIKE A MUMMY TRYING TO RUN or something.  WELL the best part is a I finished off with two sets of front, side, side planks - 60sec, 30, 30.  Then going forth with the push up challenge and did the third days of push ups for column two and guess what?  I FEEL STRONGER AND THEY FELT EASIER.  AMAZING I TELL YA!!  I did   8, 10, 7, 7, 10 (120 seconds in between of rest/stretching).   Push ups are quite mental for me.  I had to count to four, then count to four again and then count to two to do the last 10.  Somehow that made it easier in my mind to tell my body to do it.  Strange huh?  Lastly, I did two sets of twelve each of lateral raises (two types), biceps (two types), over head shoulders, lay down chest, triceps (two types), and rows.  Felt strong today despite my tightness.  All will be well soon.  : D.   ****GOOD NEWS!!!  This just in--My ferritin level has increased GREATLY from taking ORAL LIQUID IRON CALLED FLORADIX FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!!!  AMAZING STUFF I TELL YOU!! GERMAN-MADE IN A DARK GLASS BOTTLE--- EXPENSIVE, but has several added herbs and vitamin Bs to aide absorption!!  SO STUPID THAT I SO RANDOMLY TOOK IT.  Just finally completed the bottle I got at the beginning of May that should only last two months at the most on Saturday!!!  And I had a dose for  just about every day since the marathon.  NOT good.    Off to purchase a new bottle since it is working!!  : D.  No IV Transfusions for me!!!  So glad.  It was pricey!!!  ALSO MY VITAMIN B level has increased.  No wonder I had energy today.  NOW to get my DHEA up.  Still waiting on Vitamin D results. 

8.1 miles before work in the chilly air. A little red abdomen when I got back even with two layers on. All my fat that is freezing up. AP 8:22. Ran out of my comfort area for 430am run--- into town and by the cemetery and on to Locust Ave by the rec center. Closed at this hour. Luckily my music kept me from getting too spooked. Foot is going to hate me.

Got up at 430am and remembered I needed to do arms so I wanted a warm up so I ran all I could in order to get to work on time-- 4.25 miles in 8:26AP then pushups--- 9, 11, 8, 8, 11(8 is all I could do with only 60 second break in between). I had no strength. Lack of glucose. Then I ended with 60, 30 ,30 planks. My muscles felt weak doing the plank after push ups. Worked all day yesterday and today. Foot totally the biggest let down of my running career. I have a dr. appt tomorrow to review my labs but now I am also going to have to suggest a bone scan because the pain is NEVER going away. I can't even run normally on it. I have to run on the outside of my foot!! It is my heel that is killing me. I noticed it about a week before the marathon and the night before I really felt it but I was telling myself it was just prerace "crap" so I brushed it off. I wonder if that what caused me to get more blisters as well as I purposed ran on my forefoot to avoid my heel. Seriously I am just a stupid runner. An addicted one, so that's my problem. I can't quit cold turkey. However did you POOL RUN APRIL? Elliptical will still be too pain ful for me. Even more pressure on my heel. Biking doesn't seem like it would be any better. BLAH BLAH. and its almost the holidays. all I need is to gain weight to add to my sadness.

Frightmares at Lagoon.  11 hours of GhOuLisH fun with my family!! : D.  NO running.  Trying to obedient.  Foot tender to palpation and ambulation.  But not as bad as at work yesterday since I didn't stress it.  Wondering if I should still do push ups as they put pressure on the heel?  girl push ups don't but they are too wimpy now that I have been gaining ground ;D.  And what to do for a warmup without re-injuring my heel?   I don't like to weightlift without warming up.  Also my left sciatic and inner thigh nerve was actually more painful today (Thursday) then my right foot PF.  I obviously had been changing my form not to land on the inside of my heel.  Maybe I will try biking in the COOL air outside on Friday.  hmmm......    SOCKS ARRIVED.  THEY SENT ME  FIVE PAIRS OF VERY NICE-looking  BLISTER-FREE guarantee (supposedly ; D), to have me try out.  The customer service gentleman felt very badly for my experience with their sock so they wanted me to try an assortment of styles/materials and let them know.  Wow. 

I need to go to a  RUNAHOLIC's ANONYMOUS group.  I am not supposed to go running and here I am running.  And as I was running (only going to run 3-4 I told myself just to warm up to do my arms/pushups) I was thinking "how am I going to explain this to the blog?".  Well....I drove my daughter to her friends this morning at around 11am and the WEATHER and the AIR was calling my name.  No other reason then I needed to BE OUT THERE.  I couldn't let this ABSOLUTELY gorgeous day for running to PASS ME BY.  SO I goofed up.  But you know what, my PF was good to me.  It only slightly hurt the first 1.5 miles and then it didn't hurt at all and without looking at my pace I got faster and faster and it felt easier and easier.  NOW mind you my left leg was totally ACTING ridiculous, but I blame that on my left foot and all the pushups.  I am sure my legs have to do a lot of the work because my arms are too weak to push me up.  My left sciatic nerve is the over stretched one.  But I did some stretches after my run and it appears to be on the back burner, not bothering me at all. I did my pushups-- WEEK two day 2, second column--- 10, 12, 9, 9, 13 (12 just could not do the last one, I collapsed!! before I could finish it, no way could I finish it).  That's 52 pushups for me.  ME who couldn't even do one at one point.  Anyway....9o seconds rest in between sets then  I did 60, 30, 30, on the planks repeated x 2.  The push ups make it way too hard for me to do the planks without out shaking.  Weird.  My upper arms/shoulders are just too weak!!!  I finished up with my usual routine with the arms as I have been doing.  Two sets of 12 each.   AP for 8 miles = 8:08.  First mile 9:08, (didn't look at my watch), 8:45, 8:21, 8:00, 8:02, 7:48, 7:29, 7:29.   All felt easy except for my tight left leg that is gone all of the sudden.  Oh YAH I iced myself in the RIVER for 8 minutes.  I felt great in the river.  VERY therapeutic.  I think this is going to help my recovery all the more.  This is my first icing since before SGM.   I totally forgot to ice after SGM as I couldn't find a decent spot and then I just gave up because the ROCKS by the river were too hard to climb down post marathon in St. George. 

testing the foot again....didn't feel it during the run but it acted up at work but not as much as usual but enough to make me reconsider my actions.  ap for 8 miles at 4:23 am = 7:58.  Left hip slightly bugged. getting better.  the whole run felt easy.  but why don't I feel a thing like last year?  i  haven't run fast for three weeks. 

stop watch 915am run.  Too late for my body that awoke at 630am (and 4am with a stomach ache for an hour-- too much squash and candy corn I guess for Sunday dinner).   I either have to go really early or after 9am due to my kids' separate schedules.  Not liking B-track at all for my two younger girls.  I end up "waiting around" to work out.  I actually made lunches, mandated them to get things done-- piano, dishes, then vaccumed downstairs.  By the time I left to run I was quite hungry having only eaten 1/2 banana.  Coming off steroids (last taper dose of 5mg was Sat night) is not easy for me.  I got pretty hungry on them.  I am pretty sensitive to adrenal shut off medications.  I have had Cushing's Syndrome twice in my life.  Scary.  Anyway....I just mozied along at whatever felt doable.  After course-tooling my run it came out to be over 8 miles--- 8.88 miles @ 8:16 AP.  Now off to do arms after I just ate some toast and drank some OJ.  Oh and had some cottage cheese.    Foot acted up at mile 6 but not too greatly.  Didn't even hurt when I started.  Not even a twinge  :D.   POST ARMS:  YIPPEE-- total of 60 pushups--- 12, 13, 10, 10, 15!!!!  120 seconds in between.  REGULAR PUSHUPS BABY!!!  This is AFTER I did two sets of planks (front, side, side) at 90, 45, 45 seconds.  After pushups I finished with circuit arms-- 2 sets of 10 to 12 as before increasing weights in some of the excercises.  Side raises (2 types), over head shoulder raises, biceps (2 types), triceps (two types), bench press and rows.  Done. 

READ ON to get to the BEST PART : D.  Okay....so not having run any speedwork since before the SGM, I have been feeling down and depressed about my fitness.  Actually just down and depressed.  Taking a supplement with DHEA, since I am very low in it.  Started to take it last night, a very low dose.  I am very leary of taking any medications but this one seems just as important as iron.   Anyway, moving forward....I got out of bed already having premeditated the possibility of running a three mile "time trial" on the track.  Too dark to run down the Provo Canyon on the marked path.   Not sure how I was going to feel with my foot in repair but I just went out and warmed up and ran to the track, just going through the motions to see if I could "force" myself to do speedwork FINALLY.  I ran 4.16 miles warmup @ 8:34 pace.  I ran the last of the warmup doing two laps around the track, clockwise then counter clockwise to check wind resistance.  On my warmup I  could feel the wind blowing at me to the south from the north.  I knew that on the track, that lies north to south,  I could face some problems.  If I had my choice I would have run  clockwise but I bumped into a guy in the dark doing lap repeats counter clockwise (the usual way people run on a track).  Because of the building there wasn't much tailwind when running south but when you ran north there was a good headwind for the long stretch but vanished at the turn.  Oh well.   I had no idea how well I would run anyway, so I didn't look at my watch but pressed lap button every 1/4 mile.  Just before I started, I realized  that I knew the gentleman running his laps.  He is a Stake leader in my stake and is in his fifties.  He quickly said before he started on one of his laps (he knows I am a "fast" runner) that  I would "chick" him.  Before I could tell him how out of shape I was, he was off.  It was still quite dark but I found this to be good because I felt like I was dreaming about my run, not actually running.  All the laps felt REALLY controlled.  Only the forth lap felt taxed as Brother Hobson decided to jump in with me and test himself I guess.  It kind of panicked me and my breathing went askew  for a minute there but  I managed my second fastest lap there.  I really have track anxiety and race anxiety.   I don't like to be challenged unless it my 80 year old grandma!!  I think Bro. Hobson wondered when the heck  I was ending my speedwork as  I continued on for 12 laps.  He was gone by the time I finished.  The cooldown was awesome.   I felt so light and my lungs were wide open feeling so refreshed.  I could have kept going in the cooldown but had to get back to my daughter for school.  Got back at 7:27am.  Ran 1.94 mile cooldown in 8:09 AP back to my house through all the construction once more.    Although my PF is slightly trying to show its ugly face  I have found that wearing support shoes all day has helped tons along with icing and stretching.  I threw out my shoes that contributed to my problem. They were my work shoes that I have had for four years-- rubber and no traction and no support.  Oh yah here are my splits (in the dark, no peeking EVER)--  1:34, 1:36, 1:38, 1:35, 1:40, 1:41, 1:38, 1:40, 1:40, 1:40, 1:40, 1:38  which equals= 19:44 for the time trial.  I got to learn to HUG the edge as my garmin had the distance at 3.08!!!!!  Almost a 5K.  Geez.  So if I were in a race it is safe to say that I would have been under 20 minutes!!  Also the fact that this did NOT feel all out is encouraging.  Very controlled.   I really thought my time was over 20 minutes.  So happy with the results.   It appears I haven't lost too much fitness with over three weeks off.    BTW MY ARMS WERE QUITE SORE THE ENTIRE RUN (from 60 pushups yesterday etc..), so with that in mind  I feel even better about this run!!!

Oh how I wish I had kept running after the first two miles (Courtney up for school), first mile was quicker than usual---8:40 and it was so cold.  Had to wear my ear warmers, tights and gloves etc...  Well coming inside I melted but I had this notion to do my planks (2 sets of 90, 45, 45) which  I did x 2.  Wait for Courtney to leave for school.  Done. Then run two more miles before the other two got out of bed.  Done.  Well....I decided to do "circuit like" arm training mixed with all the 2 milers.  This work out was tougher than yesterday.  My legs weren't sore just my arms.  AND I was feeling dizzy after the first two sets of 2 miles.  So this is what ended up happening (and it won't again anytime soon, it kicked my TUSHY!!):

2 miles @ 8:24 AP.

Planks two sets, 90, 45,45 seconds (front,side,side)

2 miles @ 8:10 AP.

Pushups:  12, 17, 13, 11 (was supposed to do 13), 10 (supposed to do 17, yah right!!)  I was feeling weak and dizzy.   

2 miles @ 8:08 AP

Weights upper body:  laterals (two types), overhead shoulder press, triceps (two types, biceps (two types), rows, and bench press.  Two sets of 12.

2 miles@ 8:11 AP.  Holy Flip!!  I was starving by the end!! I started this work out at 7:20 and finished it at 9:20am.  It was cold.  The sun didn't help my sweat thaw as my gloves were wet from previous runs.  Seriously worked hard.  Legs feel normal however.  I got to do some lower body to off set this heaviness I am feeling in my arms!!    I had eaten at 550am so I guess it was too much for me during my run.  I was burping and got heartburn during the run.  It was kind of uncomfortable.  I would have been better off starting my run at 915 am when my kids had left then doing this kind of workout.  NEVER AGAIN!!  Can't wait for daylight savings when 6am will be really like 7am and I can get out earlier before Courtney even gets up.  : D.

8 miles.  FREEZING COLD.  20s.   Didn't realize how cold it was until I got back with frostbite on my stomach and chest.  AP 8:23, legs were stiff entire run.  Worked all day.  Foot problem back.

Foot/heel pain spreading to tendons in metatarsals.  I think I have a tendinitis metabolic problem.  Josse had some ideas for me : D.  Seriously this is depressing.  I can't believe I have a continuous foot problem out of nowhere.

Designated driver for Halloween Half.  Dropped the girls up at the start of the race at 8:10am.  Brrr....in my opinion.  26 degrees!!   Drove to the finish line (theatres) and ran up 7 miles of the course just in time to see the first guys and gals to come through.  Right along with all the speedies was RACHELLE, rockin' it down with her red TuTu : D.  I was dressed as a zombie.  My pace up was nice and easy 7 miles @ 8:20.    Only there about 4 to five minutes (the water station at mile 6).  Asked Rachelle if she wanted me to pace her and she did.  We were chatty at first but I wanted her to conserve so later we didn't talk much, except cheering here and there for her.  She totally kicked butt coming in at 1:26:22!!  The course was probably a little long too.  I don't know.  Kelli got the course at 13.2.   I will read Rachelle's blog to find out.  I was glad to not have run the wicked downhill part and to run the 7 miles of not so down hill.  MY FOOT WAS AILING and my left foot has a DEFINITE NEUROMA in it between the forth and fifth metatarsal--- KILLER shooting nerve pains.  I feel like my body is just NOT happy with me NOT taking a break.  My heart felt great and I didn't ever feel thirsty the entire 14.25 mile run.  I didn't take GU either, no nutrition at all.  I just wish my feet felt better.  After the run it hurt quite a bit WALKING to my car 0.5 miles away.  It really was ridiculous.  My left hamstring has also been acting up.  However,  I really felt strong in those 7 miles with Rachelle after our first chatty mile at 7:02.  We ran a 6:38 for the second mile together :D.  I think I could have held that pace til the end, but I didn't run down the first 5 steep hills like Rachelle so instead I CHEERLEADED as best I could.  She RAN AMAZINGLY.  I broke into song at times since I had my iPod on.  Probably annoyed Rachelle more than anything so I turned it down low.  It was stupid that the race made this new run around the parking lot and into gravel right after the water station.  Lost a lot of time there.  But after that we were back on track.  The finish was different than last year and the course measured longer than last year.  So nice.  NOT short.  Rather have it long than short.  A lot of fun costumes again.  Jane came in  THIRD (PREGNANT TOO!!!, yup she ran the SGM a couple days pregnant--- hence her 23 seconds past the subthree hour mark!!).  Kim came in fifth!!  I think Mary Ann came in first and I thought I saw Tara too-- second  I think?, not sure.  I have to say running in a DRESS was interesting (along with my running tights).  I felt a little confined with the dress and makeup, but it was all for fun anyway.  Still feeling down about my physique.  Maybe  I should really take a WHOLE TWO WEEKS OFF.  Blah!!!  AP with Rachelle 6:46 for 7.25 miles--- Splits with her-- 7:02 (chatting and catching up on things), 6:36, 6:42 (walked thru water station),  6:32 (dropped glove and had to turn around to get it then sprint up to catch Rachelle--worked it there), 7:09 (gravel, walked thru water station, GO RACHELLE.  Also met a guy from the blog that recognized me --name?-- who wanted me to run with him but I told him I was with Rachelle so then he began to help her too so we all stuck together : D), 6:38  (PUSH IT RACHELLE!!), 6:43 (Rachelle tiring, CHEERING HER TO REALLY MOVE IT : D).   I really need to just be a Pacer for the rest of my life.  It feels right.  It's FUN to help others and really gets me fired up.

seriously not GOOD this PF problem is a REAL BUGGER!!!  Think a steroid shot will be the way to go since the pain did go away greatly while I was on oral steroids a week ago.  Ever since coming off the taper the pain has gotten worse and worse.  Totally BUMMED!!!   So if any of you know a good sports med Dr. (not too pricey) let me know soon.  I know I have heard some names mentioned before but didn't commit them to memory.  Thanks!!

Decided after going to the Dr. for my daughter Courtney--- high fever, sore throat, headache going on 50 hours.  STREP!!! darn it.  She is not well at all.  Tucked her in my bed to watch a movie then went off to hurt my heel some more.  Funny thing if I ran with my toes curled for several strides then ran "normal" it didn't hurt for a while, then it would return.  Ran easy.  Last of the good weather for a while-- so I have been told by the weatherman.  Left at 10am.  8.11 miles @ 8:19 AP.  So getting tired of running in pain.  Enjoyed the scenery though.  Halloween is great fun!!  Went to my kids' parade.  Courtney stayed home from school of course.  She is bummed.  She got a penicillin shot so hopefully she will feel a little better by tonight!!!