Believe to Achieve

goal was trial hammy for half mile.  made it half mile and was like time to be over but words of kim ran through my head "half mile is not even long enough to warm up anything and see"   so  I tried harder and just massaged my hammy while running at upper insertion site which referred to mid left/lateral left hamstring and would stop every mile for nearly a minute.  ran 11 miles on trail from 1100 north to just past bridal veil falls.  it was a mental game over physical and going really slow to not trigger the zapping.  here are paces to show you.... but bc i didn't know I was running 20 I got dehydrated and had no fuel and it was 1:50 pm when I finished.  Then I walked two miles to my car.  yah i was hoping for 22 miles but i had to cut to just gift myself and end it.  the walk to car took 22-25 min a mile. so slow.    sore from hamstring exercise video I did twice-  last night and this am.  Says it gets rid of hamstring pain for good.  but dang it woke up tight as can  be.  exercises helped. so tried the run but at half mile i was like really are you gonna do this?    water at bathroom at mile 3, eternal fountain, and some guy at turn around cheering for me.  it was hard to go slow for a long time but had to bc hammy cant do fast but my heart rate was up there (dehydration/pain).   got eternal water fountain on way back mile 14 plus.  then tried to get gatorade  and banana but they wouldn't let me pay my telling them my credit card number.  felt really really spent, heart rate???? out of control   stopped every mile mostly skipped once bc eternal water coming up.  then at end  I stopped at 17.5.  18.5.  19.5, 19.70 lol.  just really spent on tired hamstrings.  took a lot out of me focusing on form and pinching upper hammy to calm hammy down.  walking the two no pain in hamstrings just soreness in quads and piriformis from the exercises.   avg pace 9:25.  total stoppage 28:47 min.  on feet 3:37:06.   0.5 mile x 1 min or so min then every mile there abouts on way up and way down and 5 min in gas station!!!  then water at potty. mile 18plus.    needed fuel.  needed electrolyes.  needed new hammy.  but got the 20 miles done.  respectable LSR (long slow run) done.  1-2 min slower than race pace.  though i am no longer going for 3:20 at boston.   no confidence and no trust in hammy.   if a miracle happens and  I can try some speed in a week I will move my goal to 3:30.   otherwise its just finish steady !!  

10:12/9:55/9:28/9:33/9:30/9:29/9:15/9:20/9:17/9:25/9:23/9:01/8:54/8:48/8:56/9:35/9:17/9:28/9:43/9:40.   9:25 avg.