Sock tans

Shortened Wasatch loop. I didn't feel great today but wanted to run more than 4, so I compromised with a shortcut.

My dad mentioned today how I get seasonal depression on top of my regular depression/bipolar disorder, and two years in a row I've ended up in a hospital in early March. I'm nervous about history repeating itself yet again, but I'm hoping that my meds and therapy are enough to pull me through this winter.

I've been doing well, no suicidal thoughts whatsoever for almost a month now. Definite progress. I'm in sounder mind than I was the previous two years at this time, so I'm hopeful I won't crash deeply this year.

My goal is to make it through the end of March without needing to go to the hospital. If I can do that I can be confident that my treatment is sufficient, which would bring more confidence that I can function well in society. I can also gain that confidence through holding down a job for more than a month, something I have been struggling to do. So I'm going to make another goal that I'll be working at my current job in June, 6 months from now. It's going to be hard but I think I can do it. 

I had a mini exposure to COVID at work on Monday, one of my coworkers tested positive. The result came back last night so today, out of an abundance of caution, all who worked Monday stayed home to quarantine. Thankfully I wasn't near this person for most of the day and we were all wearing protective gear and had HEPA filters at the testing sites, so the chances of me catching it are very slim. Epidemiologists and the U's workplace wellness have cleared me to come back to work tomorrow. We will be testing for COVID on Saturday.

I had therapy over zoom as per usual and afterwards I came to the realization that I was giving up a really good gig by switching jobs. I also realized that it was a mistake and yet another impulsive action carried out due to bipolar disorder. Every job I've had in the last little bit I've gotten to the point I'm at now- where I decide I hate it and change jobs. It's becoming a problem and I know I need to fix it. So, today I rescinded my two week's notice (thankfully they were understanding and happy that I'd be staying). It's going to be really hard for me to fight that urge to quit, but I'm going to do it because I know I need this job and it's a really good one for me.

I applied to an online bachelor's degree program through SUU a little while ago that is only $79 per credit. And today I was accepted into it!! I'm excited about it. For my remaining degree, 54 credits, this program saves me $23,476. It's designed to be super flexible too so it works with your schedule, and courses go in 7-week segments (basically half a semester).

Going this route is officially giving up the traditional way of going to college, but a bachelor's degree is a bachelor's degree, no matter how you receive it.

Wasatch loop