Lots to say today:
1) The Score's new album is AMAZING (one of my coworkers is also a fan of this band, not many people know about them unfortunately but I saw them in concert in 2017 and I showed him the picture I had with them today and it was hilarious cause he was dying. Tbh they're one of my favorite bands and I'm so glad I found them while they're not as famous, they have the potential to be big one day and are getting big slowly but surely. Their music is in a lot of trailers. I FOUND THEM FIRST lol
2) I finally have a neurology appointment set for Wednesday... it was a surprise when they called because I'd literally just been thinking when are they going to start seeing people, and when will I get in? I've been on the waitlist since February. It's a virtual appointment so I'm guessing this is just a describe what's been going on kind of an appointment then if needed a second appointment will get set up for me to come in person. When I think about it too seriously I get really nervous, because what if I have a major disease? I do want answers, but at the same time... I already have a tough diagnosis of bipolar II disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and major depressive disorder. Can I handle another one? But let's be honest it's probably just my fetal alcohol syndrome. In any case it'll be good to get checked out and know once and for all.
3) Saturday marks 5 months out of the hospital. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. It feels like 2. But it's cool to look back at the progress I've made since then. These past 6 months have been some of the hardest months of my life- coming back from wanting to die every day is no easy task. But I'm proud of where I am now, which wouldn't have happened if I hadn't decided to try to get better. I could've been my stubborn self and done everything in my power to die and I'm sure I would've succeeded, but I decided to take the harder route and live. And I think that's something I should be proud of, because now I get to live and have experiences I would've missed out on if I'd decided to pass on.