I seriously debated whether or not I should go running. I really didn't want to. But I forced myself out the door.
It ended up being really good for me. I forgot how therapeutic it can be. I was able to run through my thoughts and zone out enough that I passed the 2 mile mark and didn't realize it, so I just kept going on the full loop.
I had therapy today and my therapist told me she was proud of me for being stable for 8 months and of how well I'm doing. I haven't had any major suicidal symptoms in that time, I've been pretty stable in that regard. My moods have still been shifting but I'm getting better at managing it by recognizing patterns and triggers and adjusting accordingly. It was really nice to hear her say that because sometimes I feel like I'm just on the struggle bus all day every day and it's hard to see my progress. Sometimes I get discouraged, but she tells me that for someone with bipolar disorder I'm doing really well. For example, even though I've jumped from job to job as is common for those with bipolar disorder, I've always left on good terms. A lot of bipolar patients say "screw this I'm done" and burn bridges, but I never have. I also don't go on huge spending sprees while manic, some spend thousands of dollars. My spending sprees are 120 dollars at the most, and that rarely happens. Well it just happened over Black Friday but you know. There were tons of deals! Lol. Anyways, I can also work full-time which is something that not everyone with bipolar disorder can do. Some can't work at all because of it. So really, I'm thankful that my bipolar disorder isn't as bad as it could be.
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