Busy busy day. Work then group therapy then met up with Noah.
Feeling very conflicted and heartbroken. I'm not okay right now. I know it'll be okay eventually. But that doesn't make this any less hard. We're taking the weekend to think on things and decide whether or not to continue pursuing the relationship. I don't think there's a right answer here.
My biggest fear is that I won't be able to find anyone else as amazing, thoughtful, intelligent, hard-working, fun, and so genuine, straightforward and kind as he is. Just feeling a sense of loss, because even if I choose to continue things there's a very real possibility he's going to get offered a job in either Belgium or GA and have to relocate, and if he gets the Belgium job he'll be traveling so much and be so far away that it's not conducive to a relationship. So he gets that job and we're over. If he gets the GA job it's still possible it could work out, but still maybe not. There's just so much up in the air right now. We don't know if he will get either job, we don't know when he would leave, we don't know how likely it is he'll get either one just that he's still in the running.
I just don't know what to do.
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