It's about time I post an update haha. I'm sorry. I left it up on a very depressing post and then went MIA for 10 days.
To fill you in on what happened, I did talk to an on-call therapist. I did that a couple nights in a row. The first night I was placed on a 24 hr hold to keep me safe, meaning I couldn't leave the facility for 24 hours. I talked to the psychiatrist and was put back on lithium, at 450 out of the 750 I had been on before. So a little more than half. That combined with the increased abilify seemed to be just enough to pull me out of that funk.
To be honest, I'm still not feeling amazing, but I am feeling significantly better than I was in my last blog post. Not quite as hopeless. Those thoughts are still valid and I do wonder about them, but it's not as pressing as before.
I'll be discharging from PHP tomorrow morning. I'm both nervous and excited about it. Ready to be out of here, but also incredibly nervous about going back to my apartment after 8 weeks of treatment (inpatient, residential, PHP). It'll be an adjustment for sure.
I definitely think I might still be depressed, which isn't what I'd hoped after 8 weeks of treatment, but it is what it is. Im at least to a level where I'm not going to hurt myself or worse, and I can look forward towards the next steps like getting a job and working once again.
My current struggles are trying to find a job I enjoy that pays the bills but also isn't super high stress because too much stress pushes me over the edge. I'm wondering if such a job exists, lol.
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