Patience; the new endurance sport.

Got to ski yesterday afternoon and ran into McKenzie getting on the bus to the parking lot at Sundance.  I am so out of shape for skiing.  The snow was perfect, but I try to control my speed to the point that skiing really makes my quads burn and I can only go down the hills in segments.  What happened to the days of taking the whole hill in one fail swoop?  I feel like I'm getting old, and all I can think of is " I hope it doesn't wreck my knees before I get to Boston".  Today I ran outside and it was marvelous to see the blond dry grass shooting above a blanket of fresh snow. I love the fresh snow. It's like a down comforter for the world.  The white and light yellow of the landscape was so pleasant, I just let my eyes rest upon the easy colors and breathed in the fresh, newly cleaned air.  The lake is now frozen solid.  I keep seeing my hawk, but today saw one of the Eagle's that nest somewhere near here.  I was running along, and all of a sudden I heard a sound like maybe a coat falling out of a tree, but when I looked up, there was an eagle flying down his wing span was huge above my head and he was swooping low.  Was I going that slow?  Do I look like prey? He was magnificent.  I've only seen an eagle one other time along the trail in 14 years.  

Had a great New Year's Day spent with Michelle and Marion taking the kids sledding down 'dead man's hil.' by Michelle's house. That was one awesome sledding hill, and the snow was great.  I hadn't seen those guys since the November birthday Soupfest Extravaganza.  It was a fabulous way to start of the New Year. And now I know how to lose at Hearts, and Gin Rummy. I love learning new games to lose.  Catherine texted me to say she had a crazy idea to run by me on today.  So she showed up this morning at 8 and shoved a Utah Grand Slam application into my hands.  What?  She thinks I can run 5 Marathons next year, plus the Boston Marathon?  Who does she think I am, Smooth?  Sorry, there's only one Smooth and it's not me.  But so running out into the gorgeous snowy morning, even arthritic and stiff from the cold, the day was so pleasant by the river and the lake that she had me talked into it.  We can just run for fun, we won't race.  We'll only try to BQ again at St. George (I didn't have the heart to tell her that BQ-ing at the end of the season is a bad idea, but then again, so is running marathons...period).  Am I seriously going to do the grand slam?  The deadline is today.  Can I really run Ogden 3 weeks after Boston?  I havnt run Ogden in three years, I love it and I want to run it, but 3 weeks after Boston?  Maybe I can hire a trainer.....or a sherpa, or get a segway.....

ROTC, Army drills, students, professors, SAHM are out in record numbers at the BYU indoor track.  Wow, we had that place to ourselves until today.  Must be all those New Year resolutions in high gear....

tried to run a few faster miles (8:30's)  it just felt like murder.  Man I'm out of shape....

Ran at the indoor track today.  The army was doing these huge formations on one end of the track and yelling stuff really loud in unison.  It felt scary. Then, there were a smaller group of men in fatigues getting yelled at by two commanding officers, and after getting yelled at the men in formation would have to yell things back.  It would go like this "Why did you do that Private?"  and then they would yell back "I Don't Know, SIR!" then "Never do that again"  and then "I've learned my lesson SIR!".  So every lap brought some new piece of the ongoing conversation which included public humiliation, mental and physical compliance, and retorical questions which can only be answsered by shouting an answer ended by SIR!  I never really thought about the emotional/mental training it takes to form an Army, but it's pretty fierce.  That whole thing will leave me thinking for many hours to come.  We ran 50 feet sprints every lap until my piriformis put an end to our speed games.  That little tiny muscle runs the whole hip/leg game.  It feels like it pulls my leg out of socket.  So I only got in 6 50 foot sprints out of the mileage. It was fun though, Marsha was a sprinter in high school and so she taught me sprinting form.  It is so different from the way I run, it was challenging to change mentality & form.  I'll have to do my strengtheing and stretching so I can do more of that.  It was fun.

Just paid $350 to fix my treadmill.  I celebrated by listening to Eminem's 'One Chance'--which pounds out a perfect 8:30 mile. 

So I read on Smooth's blog that we are 15 weeks from Boston.  Woops.  Better get movin. I've been thinking a lot lately about how some of the toughest people I know are foreingers.  My husband, a foreigner himself, often likes to point out how weak we American's are; emotionally crippled, lazy, with little endurance for discomfort (maybe he's just talking about me :)  But I think it's true in some ways.  We're made tough; to work, to  toil for our bread, and withstand famine when there is none.  When we don't find enough challenge in our lives, we invent ways to use up the extra energy we've needed for millennia to survive--and particularly in cushy middle America. We've all but lost the basic challenge of survival. Either that, or we have striven for so long to find the way to expend the least amount/reserve the most amount of energy needed to stay alive that we've just become lazy.  But what I need to remind myself is that I am made to do hard things, I can withstand hard things, I can overcome hard things--physical, mental, & emotional. I have learned a lot of patience in the past 5 years; a kind of emotional self control and discipline I lacked for so long.  I don't think I'll ever be as calm about living as some of the tough people I admire so much, but I'm getting there.  Running has helped me get there.    

Ran with Catherine and discussed the Grand Slam, not getting into Ogden, but running Utah Valley Marathon, Park City, and St. George.  I'm really feeling put out by the Boston Marathon.  It's kind of wrecking my winter running enjoyment. I did all that work to qualify for Boston last year so I could run it with Catherine.  This is really bumming me out. I've already missed 2 weeks of my regular marathon training schedule and I need to get a couple of 9 milers so I can start building the higher miles/speed again. After regular Saturday a.m running, I spent the rest of the day on the mountain with Michelle. It was a gorgeous day, clear air, pretty good snow quality, warm temps. Michelle has an awesome lime green one piece snow suit, that I say is totally fly and but she doesn't believe me.  Beteween runs, I asked if she would run Boston and she said she's saving herself for Olympic Trials in 2012. If she goes to Boston, she wants to go as an elite.  What would that be like? My lofty goals for Boston include not hurling or passing out before a 5 hour finish. Anyway, we skiied till our legs were trashed.  It was a good day.  I used to consider skiing 'cross-training' in the 'off months'.  You know how tired you get the month before the marathon with all those miles wearing you down?  With Boston on April 19th, those exhausting weeks will come late February/March--prime skiing season.  It's cramping my style.  But I chose this, and I do need to get a move on the miles and get my head into the game. I did set up this week who I'm staying with and who will drive me around.  I have found two more long-time buddies living in Boston.  I'm more excited to see all my friends, and have Smooth show me what to eat in Chinatown than actually run. I know it's a 'whole experience' kind of a thing.  But I still want to be able to do it with some amount of grace.  I've decided to take my long runs by ending on the long uphill inclines up Provo Canyon so I can get those up hill miles toward the end of my 20-24 milers.  Hopefully it will help me triumph over 'heartbreak hill' .  I

 The alarm rings at 5:30 a.m. and I'm in total denial.  But... driving past runners on the street makes me feel like I should pull over to let them in on my little indoor-track secret.  I love the track now and can't believe I've spent all these winters suffering through -7 degrees, dark, icy mornings.  However, you do have to contend with other people who also want to use the track.  But it's not half as bad as going to the gym.  Also, it's fun to pick it up for a lap every 4-5 laps.  It makes 'speed' work more measurable/do-able.  I have no brain for real training.  Which is why I love that Fartlaeking is an actual thing.  As unstructured as Fartlaeking is, I am even more unstructured.  I do things like "I'll run fast where there is no ice on the road" or in the summer "I'll run faster whenever there is shade"--with total disregard to distance, time or V02 capacity.  But races are like that too, if you're unfamiliar with the course.  You have to be ready to jam on the downhill, take advantage of a curve, or settle in on a long hill.  I don't know, all I can say on this -7 degree Monday morning is, I am grateful for the track at BYU.

I tried today to run with music but found it really annoying.  I tossed my player so I could flail my head and arms more freely when I ran my little 100 foot sprints or 1/5 mile.  Marsha is funny, she will come and run with me, but she cheats by overcounting the laps/miles. She's always trying to tell me we went farther than we did (which means she also thinks we've run faster than we have).  It's really wrecked my speed perception and level of endurance.  I was on my own today and everything just felt hard.  Not good.  It didn't help that Josse and her running group were there passing me literally every third lap.  They ran so smooth and fast, and made it look easy, like buttah.  I think the track angle is starting to ear on  my right hip.  Kelli was right, I need to be more careful.  Maybe I should have taken a treadmill day or run outside at lunch.  I walked a bit toward the end with a co-worker who's been coming to the track in the morning. She's survived two bouts of cancer.  She had malignant osteosarcoma cut out of her thigh bone about three years ago and underwent a year of radiation.  She's a fighter, raised on a ranch in Farmington New Mexico in the 1960's. Tough as nails and sweet like honey.  She's a real inspiration, and as slow and labored as my running felt today, everytime I passed her on the track, and could see how much smaller her right thigh was from her left, I realized I'm just a big-fat-baby with a long, long way to go.

I could not drag myself out of bed this morning and so I begrudgingly ran 4 miles on the treadmill after work while my son played Guitar Hero.  I did my millions of sit ups and push ups and stretched forever to compensate for the amount of running I did not do today.  I'm angry because I've wanted to ski and the weather sucks, and I can't get away during the day.  I feel like a pent-up tiger.  Everyone keeps asking me about Boston.  I got in, I registered, I've made my plans, but I can not get my butt in gear to start training.  I'll run 9 with Catherine again on Saturday.  I need to get 10 comfortably down to feel any better.  It seems insurmountable.  Winter is not my running season and it's putting me into a funk.  I think I've got to ditch the warm womb of the BYU track, and start out doing things on my own again.  I'll be sad to lose my regular morning thing with Marsha, but I can't train the way we run together.  I can do long runs with other people, but I can not do my weekday work outs in tandem.  I'm struggling with depression, but unlike most people who get sad, I get angry.  I just feel so restarined by the weather, the air quality, my work schedule, algebra (I'm bad at it), and science fair.  I had to put my cat to sleep last week and it hasn't snowed in over 15 days, and my knee hurts sometimes. Wah, wah, wah.

I am sick of running in circles on the track.  I need some sunlight and fresh air or I am going postal. To spare you my misery I will not post any more words until I either get to run outside, or it snows. 

Oh blessed day, frosty, sunny day, outside in the daylight.  Marion was kind enough to drive from down south and come join me on the river trail for a lovely 5 miler.  She saved my life and always has interesting things to discuss and consider.  I couldn't have asked for a more perfect Friday morning.

I know so many amazing people.  I do not know why I am so blessed, but I truly am the luckiest person in the world. My run with Marion yesterday and my 9 miler today with Catherine have changed my life for the better in under 24 hours.  I understand that my mental health requires being outside in the daylight and fresh air, but I also require deep, fulfilling, thought provoking conversations. It's essential.  The weeks started out by trying to take me down, and by Wednesday, I was almost down for the count.  But a little fresh air, some most excellent company, and excersize changed everything. My week ended on a note of renewal and hope.  I am surrounded by the most incredible women of intelligence, saavy, insight, endurance, patience & wisdom.  If I didn't run, I have no idea how I would have access to their brains and time.  Every Saturday for the past few months Catherine and I have been seeing 'my hawk' and talking a bit about what that means for me.  Well today, we saw a bald eagle!  A white headed, fully grown bald eagle, and a younger eagle, nobly perched in a tree.  I've been surrounded recently by owls, hawks, and eagles.  It's strange how they keep appearing again and again until the message is clear to me:  I must draw from and emulate that kind of elegant strength, and claim my bold place in the world.  Those noble birds, the fields of white, the majestic Mt. Timp, the clean winter air.  I am renewed, and it's clear to me now.  I need to write a book.

I set foot on the driveway at 7:00 a.m. thinking it had rained, and instantly I began to slide while my arms did circles above my head for about 5 feet.  I have no idea how I stayed standing.  Every move I made after that caused me to slide further down the slope of the driveway.  What I thought was wet from rain was actually covered by a thin sheet of ice.  I almost had a heart attack.  Determined to run outside on my day off, I truged forward into the sleet frozen onto the road.  I almost ate it about 20 times.  Regardless, I still made my 6 miles, enjoyed the newly cleaned winter air and saw my hawk fly over the snowy fields.  When I got back, it was starting to warm up (40 degrees!) and so I took a pick axe and went after the driveway (bumpy, thick, frozen tundra that has not melted for 3 weeks).  Then afterwards I went into the back yard to dig a hole for the cat to be buried in.  He's been curled up frozen in a box outside in the garage for a week and I have not been able to pick away at the dirt because it's been so frozen.  I dug a little each day for the last week. Finally, today it was warm and deep enough and so we laid Mr. Whiskers to rest next to my beloved black lab who died 4 years ago.  My hands and back were so tired by the time I was through with all of that, that skiing didn't even sound fun anymore.  So I went inside miffed that the day was not going as planned, and procedeed to clean my house in the obessive, OCD kind of way moving all the furniture to vacuum and bleach the baseboards, scrub the grout and thew out half my (and the kids) clothes and took them to DI along with 2 tons of other stuff I've been meaning to get rid of.  All that cleaning however, did not detract from the entire Lego Star Wars collection gathered in my living room.  At least the there's no more cat hair anywhere.

It was Bee-U-Teeful outside this morning.  Those clear blue skies and mild temps had my heart singing.  I was so chipper I gladly greeted the red-nosed, hypothermic tweeker who no doubt spent the night camping somewhere on the trail  "Hello Mr. Drug Addict, gorgeous morning eh?"  Unfortunately, my dog Sarah split one of the pads of her foot a few weeks ago, and so she hasn't been able to run with me.  So it's just me and the dumb blond (retriever) who can go. It doesn't inspire confidence.  Regardless, there was a balmy breeze and plenty of sunshine.  With the cat now buried, and my house 100% cleaner, I was feeling pretty chipper outside in the early morning sun. And after all, you know what's better than a three day weekend?  A four day work week!

I felt good today overall, but it's been tough to push to VO2 capacity the few times I got there.  I did have to really slow down though to catch my breath and get a drink.  My treadmill is sticking again (the rollers). It's scary running fast and then the belt sticks, it sends me flying over the front/top.  I wanted to be outside, but the snow would keep me from going fast (ish). I'm so pleased that it's snowing! Although it's still not enough for my taste--more, I want more, more, more.  I pledge to keep the driveway free of snow this time.  My hands are still so tired and sore from weilding that pick axe on Monday.  I spent a good deal of time hacking away at the frozen dirt and then at the driveway ice.  It still bothers me to button buttons, or type.   

I was thrilled it was snowing big fat flakes when I got to the trail.  The snow was fat and sticky on the trail, my favorite kind to run in.  I took Sara for the first time in 3 weeks since she split her paw and I unbandaged her foot.  She was getting so fat from not running, her back has grown as wide as a small table.  The retreiver got so excited about Sara coming with us that she ran up ahead really fast, and when she stopped suddenly to turn around and come back, she just slid off the trail down the embankment and almost fell into the river.  It was hilarious. She's such an idiot. I loved having the trail to myself today.  It feels impossible and indulgent to have a managemable piece of nature that big, wonderful, and important all to myself for almost an hour.  I miss skiing.  I have not been able to go as much as in years past (it gives me the same kind of enjoyment to be on the mountain in winter). But it is some comfort that while I can't go, the snow is only so-so this year.

Ran the track with Marsha this morning.  I don't mind going to the track once a week.  But every day was too much. I broke it up these past two weeks pretty well.  So today, we took it really easy and talked about her 15 year old son.  I feel so lucky my kids are not quite "there" yet, and for the most part, it has been pleasant to raise and live with them.  But alas, I stand at the precipice with a 13 year old.....Tommorrow, Catherine and I are doing 10.  Going into the double digits is some kind of a mental challenge for me.  I've run 9 two Saturdays in a row, but for some reason 10 makes the marathon training seem really underway.  The great news about today: I just spent the whole morning on the mountain!  I get so edgy if I don't ski, and I was so mad I didn't go on Monday--I was really struggling yesterday by the end of the day (mouthy, sarcastic, overly aggressive). I just had a window open up at 9:00, and so I scambled to out the door, anxious to be near the clouds clinging to the mountaintops.  It was a bit windy, but had just dumped a bit of new snow onto a few of my favorite runs.  It was so exhilerating to lift my arms and let the powder hug my skis in a controlled fall down the mountain.  I only got in a few hours, but it was totally worth it.  The clean air, the mountain view, the new snow.  I did it!   Now it's just back to worky work.

I spent Friday night thinking about the snow falling outside.  It actually kept me awake. 1) because I knew it would be hard to run in at 7 a.m and 2) I wanted to go skiing in it and 3) I had to go to my son's basketball game.  I was going to be on a tight a.m. schedule.  When I got up at 7, Catherine and I texted each other that we'd just make it a treadmill day.  But I went outside anyway and ran 6 outside in the fresh snow.  I was hard, like running in sand--but the temps were mild. Then I came inside and ran another 5 on the treadmill.  I went to my son's game, where his team lost the game 12-30 against a group of boys who were really tall and good players.  It was fun to watch these little boys play like their life depended on it.  It was a good experience for our team to lose and to have to play hard just to lose with some dignity. They learned a lot....  At noon, I was finally able to drive to Sundance.  The canyon was packed because of the film festival.  But the mountain itself was not that crouded.  I had the best afternoon I've had in a long time.  I only got 2 hours on Friday, but today I got 4.  It snowed almost the whole time, and so all my favorite runs were knee deep.  I met an old guy who skiied with me a few runs and absolutely changed my life with a few technique suggestions.  I love old timers. I love their calm wisdom and years of happy skiing experiences.  Skiing is amazing---no one there is having a bad day--No one.  You ride the lift and tell each other funny stories, give each other suggesetions & directions to hidden spots, ask about each other's jobs, kids, childhood's--and no one is unappy in those moments. You could write a book filled with Dickension characters about the people you meet on the ski lift.  It's the most amazing place to be made magical by a the white downy quilt that embraces the mountain and muffles the sound of your skis heading downhill.  I went to bed filled with images of the snow and floating silently down hill.  It was a really, really good day.

I am soooo sore I could barely move this morning.  Sunday was so spectacular with all that fresh snow and sunlight.  Me and the kids took a walk along the river and saw what looked like barefoot footprints for about a mile in the snow.  Upon closer inspection of the footprint (I was worried there was a schizophernic escaped from the mental hospital walking barefooted on the snowy trail) there was a small #3 embedded into the heel of the footprint.  Someone (probably Sasha) ran with Vibrham 5 Fingers in the snow on Saturday. The snow is nice shock absorbtion, but that would be really cold to run in barefooters.  Today, I ran 4 on the indoor track and 2 on the treadmill. The trail and road are frozen slippery tundra.  I am sore from this weekend.  But it was worth it, I got 11 miles in and a full afternoon of skiing. I hope my legs/knees recover by tommorrow.  I need to feel rested by tommorrow though or risk injury. I've been doing my 'speed work' T/Th.  This wintertime training absolutely sucks.  It has been really hard to try and get my traning done before getting kids off to school & work, running in the snow and the dark (or the track and the treadmill).  It's killing me and it's not fun, and I'm not doing my best running. Boston Marathon is going to be 'an experience'.  I hate to go there and run a so-so race.  Normally, I enjoy outdoor winter running.  It's my time to enjoy the landscape and take it easy. But I just can't focus on the training during my kids school year, ski season, and while working full time.  Also, I'm just not that dedicated--so I should just stop complaining.  I'm making a choice not to use all my energy to train.  Last fall, I ammended my work schedule so I could do longer morning work outs prior to St. George.  And now, not only am I NOT doing harder weekday running, I'm still giving extra hours to skiing instead of recovery.  I need to accept my choices and their consequences,  and be at peace with the whole experience.  I am still enjoying running with my friends and skiing, while not neglecting my kids or work.  I simply do not have the energy to 'do it all.' So I'm chosing a higher balanced palate every day, over focusing on the training.  It's obvious by my actions, that Boston is not as important to me as having energy to have a good life with my kids and friends every day.   I've got to be at peace with that, or shut up and do what I know must be done to make Boston a good performance.

I had a lot of interesting thoughts this morning as I ran along in the snow.  My mind was very clear as I made new tracks in the fresh white snow.  I realized a lot of things about the way I live, and how I got to where I am now.  One of the things I pondered was the number of truly inspirational triumphs and struggles I’ve witnessed and learned about through the world of running (which obviously has a much wider life translation….).

FRB’ers and others have helped changed the way I think about what is possible and how much I can withstand—now and in the future. Thank you for the inspiration.  Your words have given me strength and inspiration for a long time to come:

Marion: When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you as though it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time the tide will turn./ I can do hard things

Josse: I can, can, can!/Free Float Fly!

Smooth: You are hard and strong like diamonds and titanium/ No one ever died because of the pain of running.

Michelle:  My goal is to vomit, or at least dry heave. Then I will know I have given my all.

Bonnie:  Did I mention how much it hurt?

Lance Armstrong:  Pain is temporary, quitting is forever.

Sasha: Become a Lover of Truth. In order to know where to go, you need to have a clear vision of where you are and why you are there.

Duane:  The difference between the great and the mediocre, is that the great try a little harder, for a little longer.

Luz:   There are no excuses today/I am not afraid to be my best.

You know what will really cut your time?  Run when it's getting really dark on the rivertrail.  When a hawk flys overhead in the dusk, and screetches just above you,  it means hurry home the boogie man is coming.   I wish I had my Garmin.  I'll bet I made some good time. 

1. Wear less clothing on your torso, and more on your bum.

2. Low, mysterious fog along the river reminds me of New England, but it's creepy because you can't see where your dogs went.

3.  When a police car stops you at the trailhead by the lake to ask how long you've been around that area and if you saw 2 men either walking the trail or camping in their 2002 Mazda-- silently thank your gardian hawk from the day before. 

 8:45/8:46/9:28/9:24/9:37/8:40/8:47

I miss my treadmill.  It was such a comfortable back up plan on the days I could not make it outside....I had it fixed (temporarily), but have been waiting for new rollers and a belt.  It has over 5,000 miles on it.  The technician fixed what he could last time and told me I could use it as long as I kept the incline above 3.5 (to austensibly keep the belt away from the rollers). but it still grabs and turns off inexplicably mid-run.  I can't wait until the rollers and the belt come in (any day now).  Using the track has been ok, but mentally it's worse than the treadmill.  Hopefully I can nail 12 tommorrow and average something under a 10 m/m.  I'll just feel better overall when 13 comes easily--but I'm not looking forward to the fatigue of those 20+ mile weekend runs.  I am however, looking forward to Moab Half--I've never 'raced' it.  It's usually the first run of my season-- sort of a kick off 'fun run' that I plan with my sister.  She comes with a group of friends from DC to run it (and hike arches, etc).  I made pretty good time last year, but I wasn't even trying super hard.  It will be interesting how well I can do it this year--it's a month almost to the day before Boston.  Hobble Creek was about a month before St. George, and that was a great way to prepare to run fast at SGM.  I need to get more speed work & miles in these next two months before I feel mentally prepared to take on the idea of Boston.  I've been working toward it, and am doing much better (running a few faster miles during the week/sprints, getting 40 miles/week and getting in my long runs).  Better anyway than 3 weeks ago.  So there's that. It's a process both mental and physical. 

8:39/8:49/8:46/9:16/9:07/9:12/10:12/9:24/9:33/10:01/9:29/10:44/10:16

See how brave I was for the first 6 miles while I ran with Catherine? (She keeps me young & fast-er).  We averaged well in that first half, and then she left me. The remaining 7 splits are all mine. I am really ashamed of all those 10's. But I did run 13 miles (finally), and am at least getting on top of the mileage. We ran into Sarah early into the run, and Sasha & Jeff later on.  Saw my hawks down by the lake.  It was a sunny beautiful morning, and so there were lots of people out. We ran by a couple of ladies with fuel belts on, and slowed down to ask what they were training for and they said "Surf City Marathon (Newport Beach, CA) -- next Saturday!"  We congratulated and wished them luck.  Then they asked us what we were training for, and Catherine pointed to me and said "Boston" and I pointed to Catherine and said "Utah Grand Slam".  They laides threw up their arms and clapped and cheered as we passed.  It made us feel like 'real runners' for a second.'  Saying it out loud makes it more real. Those 10's were a little indicitive of my state of mind right now, but at lest the whole run averaged 9:29.  If I can stay healthy/uninjured, I'll get there. It takes time, and fast running.

They closed off about .5 of the trail right outside of my house. I went out and there was a 'Road Closed' sign.  There was also a sign about improvements to the trail, including a bridge off Lakeshore Drive.  Improvements? As long as you consider more traffic in the neighborhood and on the trail, an underpass that freezes and floods like all the rest, a bathroom so drug addicts, and gay people can find each other late at night.  Yes, most excellent "improvments".   I can not even tell you how inconvenient this whole winter training thing has been, and now they've shut down my trail--MY trail.  So now I'll have to run in and out of the neighborhood--in front of the neighbors. 

9:43/9:27/8:39/8:46/8:23/9:07/9:25/9:45  I wanted to pretend I could do a Tempo run.  So the idea for today was to run 3 miles at race pace in the middle.  I thought 8:23 would kill me.  Good think I was by myself breathing like a polar bear and rolling my eyes as I forced the pace. The AP for the whole run was 9:08.  I'll take it, it sure beats the 9:40's I'm cranking out lately.  Still I need to do some more interval running to improve that average pace and make the race pace get easier.  I wonder if this will get easier when it's warmer, or if I'm just doomed to train with tight everything and iron lung/frozen face.  I'm just hoping for no injuries--really that should be my goal right now.  My knees are a little stiff with all the skiing lately--but it stregthens the quads, which is good for the knees.  Regardless, I can feel that I'm totally gonna need new ones in a few years.  I know how to stretch/strenthen everything else--but I just don't think there is anyway around wearing down your knees after a while.

When I reread my blog entries it's embarrassing the number of misspellings, type-O's, and errors I commit like: your vs. you're.  I am the luckiest sloppy person alive.  How I have been able to accomplish this much in my life, graduate college, get married, have children, and hold a job when I can't even keep “there” and “their” straight is a testament to the kindness of mankind.  I don't even bother editing my FRB entries. Someday,  I'll look back and begin to track when I started totally losing my mind via the crescendo of mental deterioration made visible by the number of grammatical and syntactical errors here.  Maybe it's the whole internet age/ blogging/email informality that has replaced my training in written and spoken communication.  I’m afraid it’s indicative of my overall mental strength.  The stress I felt over crying babies/small children literally changed and retrained my listening skills to the point that 10 years later people can talk to my face and I still can’t ‘hear’ what they are saying and have to ask them to repeat themselves.  And then I quickly forget what they said—particularly if there were relaying instructions of any kind.  The frantic pace at which we all need and have instant (hasty) information shared via texts/email/wikepedia/google has created in me a frantic sloppiness that has completely replaced my BA in English.  9:30/9:27/9:08/8:54/9:19/9:23

9:35 av -- I was so not feeling it this morning. I gave myself permission to run at lunch time up the canyon.  I brought my gear to work and took off from my office.  It was bleak & sunny when I left wearing a base layer tank& sweats, w/one of my long sleeved marathon shirts (w/light gloves & hat).  A mile later, I'd peeled off my long sleeve shirt and ran in just my tank top, gloves & hat.  It was the most comfortable run I've had in a long time. Got my Vitamin D for the day for sure! Too bad the run was only so-so. I ran up past my favorite water fountain where the water runs so sweet and cold at the mouth of the canyon.  I didn't have a lot of energy to push it up or down the hill, but it was life-changing to be outside with bare arms in the sun.

I am so low enegry right now. I'm just barely hanging in there this morning.  Ran 4 miles and am blogging about it in spite of being in a hurry to get out the door for this weekend after I laid awake most of the night worried we were all dying of botchulism...you heard me, botchulism.  I let my 13 year old make dinner.  After we'd eaten, I congratulated her good work, and asked what she put in the spaghetti sauce (it tasted a little funny).  She replied "I don't know but the can was shaped weird and it sort of hissed for a while as I opened it.  It tasted funny.'  So I'm sitting at the table, all of us having fully ingested anaerobic microbial bacteria from canned tomatoes.  Fabulous.  Guess what the best part is?  Go ahead, guess.....neurological symptoms take 3-10 days to manifest.  And they are incurable.  I love having botchulism, it's so much more exciting that regular old salmonilla or listeria.  I get to talk to poision control every day for the next week.  It reminds me of when my daughter put a castor bean in her mouth she plucked from the sumac plants that grow behind our house in San Diego.  They look just like pinto bean once you peel them out of that prickley red ball. Why do we always have to get ricin and botchulism? So if I start seeing double, or if my son's eyelids droop, or my daughter has trouble speaking and we all end up in ICU, you'll know why I stopped blogging :) 

:)

9:07/8:36/8:26/9:06/9:09

My sister is moving to DENVER!!!!! I am so psyched! I guess that means I won't have to move to New England now. 

Routine, mandetory easy run.  I'm really trying to go easy this week because a) I have a lot of skiing to do and b) it's my 'recovery' week, which I'm going to take very seriously.  However, the absence of fatigue in running less miles this week has caused me to run effortless 8:40-9:00's.  More miles does = faster speeds (3 weeks of >43 miles/week).  So that's an encouraging development.

Had so many plans for today but was bombarded by work late into the night, and into the early morning due to the work I avoided to have fun yesterday.  There are consequences to avoidance.....  I wanted to run or bike a little extra in the afternoon---but was exhausted and just couldn't do it.  I've been happily mentally/emotionally engaged in the recent activites of the past 6 days, and particularly the last 48 hours.  It's been worth it though to slow down and have a bit of fun.  It's been a good moment in time.  Next week it's back to busy bizziness, and several high mileage speedwork weeks.  Nose to the grindstone from here out, that's for sure.

My alarm didn't go off and I left Marsha waiting 1/2 hour for me.  I was so sorry, being late is such a big deal to me that if I were her, I would have just left and run on my own.  But she's so cool and calm, no biggie.  We got to run outside down our farmland country road in the early dawn in a balmy winter fog.  It's funny how 38 degrees feels balmy.  Nice easy run, AP 9:04

Cath is my cheerleader.  She graduated BYU Law and was teaching there by the age of 22.  Her mom who never graduated college when she was young (in lieu of raising her family abroad because her Ambassador husband took them to Sweden and Japan while they had 6 small children) just finished her Ph.D.  at 58.  So, our topic of conversation theses past few Saturdays has been "Who Am I really?"  brought on by developments in my personal life.  My thought was, once your parents die, who do you want to impress?  What is your impetus behind personal success? Who do you want to be proud of you? What can you take with you beyond this life? What legacy do you leave behind ? (Besides your children, for whom you don't can't really take credit for based on the principles of free will & election...alhthough, I'd like to because they are so smart and wonderful to me). So I started on the topic of 'impressing myself', since there is no one else I'd rather impress now that my Father's gone.  What could I do that would really  make me feel like "I'd arrived & conquered".  For many years, that's been going back to school.  A law degree?  An MPA?  an MPH?  So Catherine and I have been challenging each other. She wants to act & sing in a play (because she was always so studious and serious) and I want to go back to school and get a Ph.D. or an MPH.  She was saying how easy it would be to get the MA program out of BYU and it occurred to me that I don't just want to get an MA out of the way by writing some lame thesis on say, a post modern study Emily Dickenson's or Virginia Wolf's virtues of feminine solitude.  I want to do something that pushes my boundaries.  Like research about male expressionism and masculine archetypes through the writings of say Chuck Palahnick or Norman Mailer.  Or perhaps throw in a ModernYungian analysis of gender roles.  Anyway, I came away from 11 miles almost high with the idea of doing something new with my brain, something that would occupy a few years and inspire my heart.  I think if I'm doing that while my children are also in school, I stand a better chance of being able to help them be better students too. It's been so long since I've been to school, I feel like my brain is on a warmer plate in the microwave. The MA, Ph.D. route would lend itself to writing and research--which I would love if I could find a way to make that work.  But I could do the easier thing and go for the MPH, where I have experience and could just get a different job in the same field.  But I'm leaning toward lighting my fire and writing a book, or short stories more than going down the same boring path I'm on now.  The end.  AP 9:37

"I will always have that gold medal as a memento of that day," Kearney says. "I will be impressed with how I skied and performed. That was the best run I could have skied under the most pressure on the day it really counts." 

8:48 av: 8:28/8:14/8:57/8:43/9:08/9:15/9:05

I started out too fast.  Warmed up .5 then ran about 100M repeats (every other one fast) for the first three miles, pushed a solid 4th mile.  Then I gradually lost focus and ran a whole mile while I was thinking of a million other things: conversations I had with my cousin over the weekend about the U of U's accelrated Ph.D. program, an investment strategy, how to study for the GRE while I'm still working (or not), or how to generate additional income.  These thoughts took exactly 9:08 minutes because I snapped out of it when my Garmin went off at mile 5.  I ran one more solid-effort mile, and then I offered myself a 'cool down' mile which was almost as fast as the other miles. Those repeats/intervals were so hard I was in tears trying to maintain my effort.  Am I the only one who cries when running is hard? It conjured up a bit of advice Sasha offered me once. He said "get mad, collect all you 'mad' and let the road have it" --or something to that effect.  But every time I try to pick up and then maintain the pace, I can't conjure up the 'mad.' Instead I conjure up the 'martyr' and cry about how hard it is---literally cry.  The hard breathing, eye rolling and crying is so pretty--real championship stuff.  Next Thursday I'm going to try to run a reverse/negative split tempo.  I need some know some other real work outs, instead of these ones I'm making up.  But whatever, they helped me qualify for Boston last summer.  Also, I'm afraid if anyone did try to teach me how to do real interval/repeats, etc.  I'd probably just go all victim. It's such a character defect, but if anyone tries to help me/push me it makes me want to give up.  It's got to come from inside me or else it's just not happening.  I've learned that at least.

Ran 5 w/ Marsha in the pre dawn with the ol' headlamp and 2 more at lunch.  It's so foggy and moist today. It always reminds me of Oregon or winters in San Diego.  I love how the water condenses on my arm hair. I haven't needed gloves for a week even though the temps are still in the mid 30's.  I'm home at lunch getting my treadmill fixed once and for all--rollers and belt replaced.   Hopefully this should keep the treadmill going for another 5 years before the motor goes.  It has over 6,000 miles on it now.  They did a temporary fix while the parts took 6 weeks to arrive.  So for the past 6 weeks, I've had to set the incline to 3 or above just to get it to roll.  But it would still grab, or stop (mostly while I was doing speed intervals). so I'd go flying over the top. It was freaky to try and run hard & fast, but not know when the machine would quit on me..... (cue the soap opera soundtrack)....I needed that treadmill so much over the past 2 months and it betrayed me.  I had to run on the stupid BYU track--around and around and around-- when it was too dark and cold!  It let me down.  Can I learn to forgive and love my treadmill again?  Can I heal this sence of betrayal?  Can I learn to forgive?  They say time heals all things.....

9:53/8:30/8:30/8:43/9:12/8:40/9:09 

I wanted to tempo 4 miles straight with a negative split end (which I kind of did if you count the warm up mile).  But I should have started RP at mile 3 instead of 2.  Mile 5 was just killer, I had to take a breather.  I'm getting there ....running 3 miles at race pace is way easier that doing 100 M sprint/stride repeats.  I'm going to build those to 300 M next week.  I hope I Saturday's long run isn't a disaster.  Fast running really gets my hams/glutes and they are tired now. I'll be happy to pull of 16 sub 10's.

I have worked so diligently to stave off winter illness.  I have been a model of fresh food consuming, pro-biotic taking, hand washing, no food or drink sharing of public health policy.  But I woke up with my upper chest a little scratchy and tight.  Been having a hard time sleeping the past 4 nights, which is probably the true culprit.  When I don't get enough sleep or I'm under any kind of stress, I get sick.  It's guaranteed.  I'm bummed, but I know from experience the real trauma won't happen until Monday (it always takes me 2-3 days to  develop major symptoms from the onset).  Could be worse, I think it's just a cold. But if it was strep or the flu I'd be down for the count pretty quick.  It's just such bad timing--at the start of my 8 week, hardcore, training countdown.  This whole Boston Marathon training as been fraught with inconvenience and obstacle.  Par for the course.  I was just starting to get excited about my training and feeling stronger and dreaming of what it's going to be like running into the city of Boston.  Having a cold is just going to be one more discouraging and depressing event to this whole episode.  People dream of qualifying and running Boston.  I did, so why all of this?  Should be fun to see how 16 will feel when I can't breath  :(

9:43 av.  I planned on going 16, but what the heck 18. Sure. I was running with the big girls and boys.  Ran with Smooth's group. Kim/Cathy (whose coming to Boston too), Teena, Kelly, Davey Crockett and Maynard (Brad).  Dave had run 13 miles before we even got there.We ran up the windmill hill through the golf course along the Jordan River and turned around at the military cemetary at the top of the hill.  Smooth doesn't like the hills, but I do.  I knew she'd really start to rock-n-roll about mile 10, right about when I was running out of gas.  The river was so fat and full and green.  The color reminded me of the Colorado River out in the desert of Southern California.  Smooth and I saw so many hawks.  Five flying in a group and another group of  three. They flew in a bunch, circling around and falling out of the sky above the water like they were fishing.  We saw one big fat one (maybe an owl?) up in a tree.  We think we saw a bald eagle, it had a huge wing span and a white head. Lots of ducks, geese in formation flying north.  That river parkway is very pretty.  This time I could see where we were in the valley.  Last year when I went to meet them there, there was so much fog, I couldn't see the point of the mountain, or the golf course, or the windmills.  I got to tell Susanna about my newest favorite documentary (Grizzly Man) that I watched two times in a row.  Teena and Kelly had run very far ahead at a much faster pace. The other two ladies and Manyard only ran 10.  We met up with Kelly & Dave again around mile 12 and finished up  the run together.  I wanted to drag out those last two miles, but Kelly and Susanna wouldn't leave me behind and kept me company those last 3 miles (at my lagging pace). By the time we finished, Dave (the 100 mile ultramarathoner) had run 30+ (just another Saturday for him).  Kelly, Susanna & I --18.  But Kelly was going home to run another 7-8 with Scott (to make another 26 mile Saturday), and Teena had run 18 too, but at a 7:30-8 m/m pace.  Next week they're all running 22 (I've got 14 on my agenda).  Man I'm such a lightweight. But I did feel  really strong and I could have even pushed the pace a bit and gone a little further.  But it was a pleasant run.  I'm grateful for running friends and to hear what they talk about.  After the run, we sat in Teena's car eating oranges, bananas and hot chocolate (thanks girls!).  And RAD showed up to say hi.  It was so fun, those girls know how to make a running party. I never showered after yesterday's (easy) workout, so I really deserved a bath.  When I came home I sank into the most delicious hot tub (made even more delicious because I had to drive home in my sweaty cold clothes and was chilled ). I eased myself into that hot water and said a  prayer of thanksgiving for warm water that runs right out of the faucet in my bathroom.  God bless America. 

Ran inside super easy on my treadmill because I'm about to hack up a lung. I could feel this coming on Friday and had a little tightness in my chest Saturday morning--but had no problems till yesterday.  It feels good to be home, but whenever I have a second of downtime, I always wish I was skiing.  It snowed a little all weekend, I'll bet it's really pretty on the mountain today.  My lungs can't take the cold though :( I need to get better quickly as I can. Fluids, rest, staying warm.

I have been so very sick, IN BED since Monday night.  I got up this morning, feeling a little better and ran a very pitiful 4 miles while I sweat my life away.  Hopefully tommorrow will be better than today.  The doctor gave me an inhaler (for bronchitis) and antibiotics for a sinus infection (which I'm not going to take).  I don't think my fever has been high enough to indicate a bacterial infection. I have slept over 27 hours in the past 2 days.  I'm freaking out about missing both mileage and speed training, but I don't think I can do it like this.  I had neighbors bring me really amazing soups--one had kale and red peppers and zucchini, and the other had cabbage, tomatoes and carrots.  About once a day I get really hungry and then go back to sleep.  Wihout the soups everyone in my house would starve.  I've been down for the count.

It took me 62 minutes to pull this one off.  I have 13-14 to run tommorrow.   What do I do?

I went from 45-50 mile weeks to like 29.  I've been dying all week about how how far I came last week finishing with an 18 miler, feeling so strong to lying flat on my back for 3 days.  I'm much better, but still wondered how to take today. I took a dose of dayquil, and two hits off my inhaler before I met Catherine at 7:30. It was actually really warm and I ended up part of the run in a sleeveless base tank. We picked a route that I could drop out by my house around mile 6 if I needed to.  While I was running my phone (which I always turn to vibrate or off while I'm busy) kept vibrating the whole time I was running.  Down around mile 4, we were met by a very scary, injured, abandoned dog right in the middle of the trail.   We couldn't go around it because there was steep marsh on one side of the trail, and fence on the other.  The dog hunched down and looked straight at us with his ears flat to his head, we couldn't tell if he was scared or rabid.  It was so "To Kill A Mockingbird" with the rabid dog wandering down the street before the big trial. It had an ominous foreshadowing feeling about it.  We eventually picked up rocks and sticks and went the marsh route while the dog kept his eyes glued to us in his lowered perch in the middle of the road.  I could not get a deep breath during the run, but it was not as cold on my lungs as I was afraid of, and somehow the running itself wasn't too shabby (9:21 for the first 8 miles. 9:40s for the rest).  By 12 and 13 Catherine was babysitting me.  She recounted the number of times on long runs I'd kept her courage up and kept her going (good story Catherine, but whatever, it worked).  I'm glad I had her to help me get it done.  It's been hard to know how much cardio fitness (I've worked so hard to build in the past 3 weeks) has been lost, how much muscle strength due to flabby running.  But what else can you do when you're sick?  It makes your body more run down, more weak to stress it while it's busy killing virus & bacteria.  At least that's my experience (the sicknesses stick around longer under duress).  The whole run was a little rough and all I could think about was poor me.  But once I got home I saw I had 6 messages on my phone in under 2 hours.  An 8.8 earthquake hit Chile in the very region where my in laws live & all my husband's family lives.  No phone lines, no cel lines, no online contact because the electricity/gas/major highways were closed.  My sweet little mother in law lost her first son due to the effects the 8.5 near Valdivia in 1960 had on her health. The subsequent conditions, and Tsnumani ruined the entire region.  Those memories are never far from her mind. She was 6 months pregnant with her first son when it hit, she was alone and the noise so defening that she (being deeply religious) believed it was the second coming.  She ran outside and saw a neighbor's cow struggle as it fell sideways and was caught in a chasm in earth, while telephone poles popped out of the ground.  There was no food or water from the outside regions for 3 weeks, no relief.  My father in law and his friends used scuba gear to recover sacs of flour & provisions off sunken vessles in the harbor.  My husband's oldest brother was born with sever cerebral palsy due to the malnutrition and oxygen deprevation because of the nervous state of my young mother in law (she had hyperventalation & fainting spells every time she heard loud noises for the remainder of the pregnancy). We named our son after her lost son, I know the effects of an 8.8 seventy miles from her house has her struggleing for composure.  She's so tiny.  But they are deeply evangelical and we know their faith will be of comfort to them.  We've heard now from some relatives that have been in contact and they have mild damage to the house, but still no electricity, water, phones.  Now will come the Tsnumanis, aftershocks, food & medical supply shortages.  I'm sure they will prevail, but we have friends and family from Valparaiso to Punta Arenas--all of whom have been affected, some having lost their homes to structure damage.  Such a weird day.  I'm still coughing and I'm exhausted from the morning's effort, and now I'll spend the day trying to contact my sweet mother in law. 

9:43 av.

March is in like lamb. I didn't even need the headlamp.  The moon sat heavy and huge in the western sky.  It lit the whole road and the surrounding fields until the sun began to hit the back side of timp and paint it pink.  There was fog rising off the water and hanging low above the ground. Felt balmy, like spring.   Everyone in Chile I know is accounted.  I have a good friend who has a small country grocery store close to the beach whose whole business was swollowed up by the subsequent tsumani--but her family at least is safe.  Three days later, my in laws are still struggeling for fresh water....still not sure if heading down there right now would help or hinder. 

8:46/8:40/8:49/8:55/9:01/8:33/9:29/9:21/10:21

I gave mile 6 my best effort, but I was dreaming of the inhaler left sitting on my bedside. I could not get a deep breath, I started out pretty clear. But just under an hour of  breathing cold air took it's toll.  It was a good effort.  Although I could feel the roll of fat created last night from Michelle's birthday cake bulging over the top of my running tights....a week of flabby miles combined with being sick actually caused me to gain 4 pounds--compounded by 10,000 calories of the best birthday cake ever known to womankind (blame Marion). 

I was beat today.  Whatever I did yesterday made today doubly hard. So I ran slow since it's my regular run.  Also my Garmin was out of juice, so mercifully, I don't even know how slow.  I'm doing way too much thinking-thinking-thinking since yesterday.  Whenever that happens I wear myself out.  I need to stop thinking.  It's dumb.

Thursday is supposed to be my tempo run.  But by mile 2 (after having to turn back because of the construction on the trail and finding a different route) I could tell it was going to be all I could do to just get the miles done: 9:28/8:50/9:22/9:02/9:06/9:12/10:00/9:31/9:09.   Must be a little anemic.  I haven't been good about replacing my iron source and eating more greens etc. since I stopped eating meat about last year. (I've eaten some, I just don't have the heart for it hardly anymore).  A few days ago, when we were running in the dark, in the pre-light dawn, I saw my big fat owl sitting on a tree above my head. That owl only shows up ever few years.  First time was in 2000, then on the day my Dad died--which was March 4, 2006. Then I saw it again in April 2008.  But he was there around the same spot 3 days ago.  I've been thinking of my Dad ever since.  Particularly since it was 4 years ago today we spent a week in the hospital watching him perform what can only be described as "death sleeping."  Before the stroke, he had the face of Paul Newman and the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger--right up until his 70th birthday.  He was a beautiful, strong man.  I remember Rad telling about her had who died a few years back too.  Grief gets boring and everyone gets tired of it when it extends beyond a year or two.  But the depth and breadth of your loss, last so much longer than that.  It's impossible to not remember the space left unoccupied in your life almost daily for who knows how long.  And then you have to remind yourself how that person made you who you are, and you must be grateful for what was, and what is now 'till we meet again. Anyway, whenever I see those hawks, and the eagle; and like today the owl, sitting in a tree looking down at me, it makes me think of my Daddy (he loved birds of prey, particularly owls) and how he's somewhere looking out for me still in his own way.

I LOVE the snow, but couldn't make myself get outside to run in it in the predawn.  So I ran 5 on the treadmil.  It felt great.  I ran one 7:45 between 3&4, the rest were 9:13's.  I wish I could have run more, it's the best I've felt in many days. It's snowing like crazy still, I'm gonna see if I can take a few runs at lunchtime.  I don't know if I'll enjoy skiing tomorrow after I run 18 miles.  

8:30/8:46/9:12/9:50/9:44/9:32/9:53/9:14/9:48/9:49/9:49/9:21/9:27/9:32/10:04/9:45/9:52/9:50

It's dumb to record all those splits since I wasn't going for speed. I had to run a few before Catherine showed up, and met Sasha & Jeff on the trail who came from behind asking 'how my legs were.' My legs felt fine (in that moment)  it was my lungs I was still warming up.  They invited me to run 6:40 for a quarter mile.  I wasn't expecting that and wanted to be game, but all I could think about was the other 18 miles I needed to run with my bronchitis lungs.  I made it almost the quarter, but I was really trying to get in some air toward the end and wouldn't (not couldn't) maintain it for the last 100 feet.  They continued running and I just behind them for about another mile, then I had to turn around to meet Cathetrine at 7:30.  The reason I put the splits in there was because I need to remind myself how much a (single!) fast quarter mile improves your over all time .  If I can run fast only 1/4 of the time I could sustain a 8:30/8:40 pretty easily.  This is what I practiced in my speedwork last Fall and it worked.  But I've not had the lung capacity or energy to do my speed play for two weeks and I'm paying for it now. I've run strong, but it's not the same as pushing aerobic capacity.   But for today I did get 18 under my belt with Catherine and pushed hard.  The average pace was 9:37 (thanks to those 2 faster miles to begin with).   But I have to say--I'm beat.  I went from 50 miles/week to 30 back to 50.  I just hope when I get over all this crud I'll be able to push my legs/lungs to do what I know has to be done.  If not, I'd just comfortably go slower and slower.  I don't mind running the Utah Valley marathon in 4:25, but I want to finish Boston in under 4 hours.  We'll see.  I really dug deep today just to get that mileage, but I felt way stronger than Thursday.  That felt like progress.

I've put away the headlamp for the winter I think.  It was getting light by 6:20 so only 20 minutes in the dark.  I was pleased I wasn't sore, just a little stiff from the long run on Saturday. Although my run was cut short 2 miles, I had to be out the door by 7:30 today.  I was going to tuck 2 extra miles into the afternoon, but life prevailed and defeated this plan.  I really should just learn to run 2 miles in a suit at lunchtime and try not to sweat very much.  Because if it doesn't get done before 7, chances are high it's never going to happen.

8:54 ave (8:47/9:00/8:38/9:02/8:40/9:13/9:07/7:50).  I ran every other .10 fast, faster, fastest;  Then a slower mile after.  I struggled for air toward the 'faster'.  Mile 8 I just wanted to run strong, and 9:07's ok, but I wonder if I'll ever get back to my 10K ap 8:15.  Training on the sand last year for 10 days made running on pavement easy afterwards, it was good training. But the March cold, or my lingering bronchitis, or lack of mental agility for training this time of year is keeping me in the 8:40's. All negative thinking.  Thursday, I'll try to do a few faster quarters, and at least two solid faster miles.  Either that or I'll run the hills repeats near my work. Saturday, I'm going to go 20 up the canyon and end at South Fork (a 7 mile uphill end).  Last Saturday when I finished 18, all I could think about was "Ok, at Boston 17 is where the hills start and that's when you have to turn on the game."  But after 18 last Saturday I was ready to go lay down.  I really need some good uphill/speed work outs in the next 3 weeks.  Interesting thing while I was running today, different thoughts drifted through my mind, and I could feel whether the thoughts gave or sucked my energy. These were thoughts of people, work, situations and ideas that often cross my mind in a day.  But I could feel my physiological response to those thought as I was trying my hardest to run fast--pushing myself.  I considered this idea at during '09 St. George Marathon.  The thoughts I kept running through my head were single phrases, or faces of people who inspire, or things that were said to me that were encouraging.  Unless you’re running at your top speed and can feel the instantaneous draining of your energy--how many things in a day do we give our energy to that do not merit our energy?  How do we decide which things deserve our energy and which do not.  One thing is clear to me-- while I run, I need to stop thinking, clear my mind, and enjoy the absence of thought or keep only positive phrases/faces/inspiration handy as my only available.

For the sake of mixing things up, and because of construction on the trail, I chose to run around the neighborhoods and down a road I never go on for 2.5 miles.  I can't get on my trail for .4 miles because of the stupidly expensive and pointless bridge the city has decided to build, to connect a road no one uses, to have better access to the municiple airport that no one goes to.  I'm so glad they have raised my property taxes 4 years in a row.  Worth every penny!..... I swear I would not run ever if all I had were city streets & sidewalks every day.  This morning, I found myself resentfully sharing the road with ...gasp... Cars!   I  rely on running to be my quiet or alone time near the river & trees and emply trail.  But I'm especially cranky the past few days.  This morning was more bitterly cold than it's been in a few weeks (and windy). Also, I have to remind myself how cranky all this running makes me. When I'm tired I get really negative during the hardest 3 weeks of training. That plus my job is driving me to tears almost daily, my son's teacher is enough to make me consider yanking him out of school, and whenever it snows I can't get up the mountain (3 days in a row last week).  It adds to my overall sense of being locked inside-my-life-prison dutifully going through the motions of a responsible adult.  So if you see me running down your sidewalk, just move little to the side.  You don't want any of this.

9.33 miles/10:03 average

9:35/10:31/9:27/10:31/10:44/10:09/11:16/9:13/9:14/9:35

I ran 4  (.7 miles each) hill repeats.  So 2.8 of these miles was run at about a 20-30% incline (I ran a two loops of Foothill Drive and Quail Valley in Provo, one up to Eastlawn cemetary and one more of foothill). I warmed up about a mile and stared up the first hill.  Felt good, downhill hurt and I couldn't let go of my snail pace.  It was the same for every repeat. Up those hills I just leaned forward and hardly moved my feet. After I was done with the big uphills, I ran the rest on rolling hills, and downhill to get back to my office, where I bathed in a handsink and went back to my desk to finish two grant requests.  I'm going to finish my 20 miler on Saturday with those 2 hills.  The idea of running even rolling hills at mile 17 is killing me.  My legs are sooooo sore right now.

10:03 ave.  I ran a bit with an old pal in the neighborhood. She ran Boston in 1989 and is now in her mid 60's.  She's still active but walk-jogs so I took advantage to run a slow slow recovery run.  My calves and knees are sore from what I did to them yesterday.  I think I might even need a massage.  I never come away from a run with sore muscles ever.  I may be tired, but unless I'm racing, I never have soreness.  But I am sore today.  My butt is sore, my calves are sore.  I could have crawled this run.  My legs felt like lead.  

This was a lonely run.  I was tired, Catherine was doing her daughter's birthday party.  It was cold, windy, and started to rain during the hardest, uphill portion of my run.  I may have overdone it with 16 today.  My legs are literally thrashed.  Next week my sis comes from DC and we're going to Moab.  We'll hike and eat and shop and talk.  I just don't know how the half marathon will go.  This will be my 7th year at this race.  I love the first 10 miles of the course--nothing in the world compares to that canyon and the river.  But I am tired, so tired.  I feel like I never want to run again.

The danger is that novice racers often try to achieve too much.  Unless they exercise caution, impetuous and overzealous racers will find themselves falling prey to the most common, and least understood of all running ailments--overtraining.  An important observation made by Heiss (1971), described an increased susceptibility to infection as an important component of the overtraining syndrome.  In some runners, the first signs of overtraining are generalized fatigue, recurrent headaches, weight loss, sleep problems.  All fail to understand why, despite such hard training, their racing performances continue to deteriorate.  Probably the earliest scientific reference to overtraining was made by McKenzie (1923) who noted fatigue of the whole muscular system requires a day or two of rest, chronic fatigue (slow poisoning of the nervous system) also called 'staleness' could require a week or even months.  The urgency to train even harder is only exacerbated by the time lost as a result of illness and fatigue.  But because these assumptions are wholly incorrect, the athlete's bout of intensive training only compounds an already grave situation. The truth is that once athletes are even mildly over trained, they are already past peak condition.  The only way to save the situation is to stop training until the body is rested and the desire to run and complete return.  Excerpt from the Fourth Edition of the Lore of Running, by Tim Noakes, MD.      In other words, I rode my spin bike 16 miles at 19 MPH instead of running today and counted it as 4 miles.

9:23 av  8:38/9:26/10:37/7:11/8:55/12:16/8:30/10:09

So I started the run on flat Timpview Drive, ran a good mile on flat surface, then there was the gradual up hill toward the Provo Temple.  I ran up the South Temple side and continued running up Rock Canyon and ran up a perfect mile (10:37).  I wanted to run the same split downhill just to see how different the time would be and so I turned it on (7:11).  I have never run a mile in under 7:37.  It was however about a 20% grade up and also down, but still 7:11!!  Running slow uphill, fast downhill, and then maintaining a steady pace on the flat surfaces seems to be a good technique for me--or at least the using the downhill to get some good splits.  So as I was running along, I started to think of good name for this technique, which of course I learned from Smooth. So I wanted to call it the "Smooth Move" but then rememberd there is an herbal laxative by the same name. So then I decided to call if the "full Suzanna".  So now anytime I hit a downhill and speed up the turnover, I'm going to call it the full Suzanna.  I then went up Quail Valley +.3 to make it a full mile up hill--whew.  I hope my legs don't get as ruined as they did last week.  Although this was 2 less miles, and half as many hill repeats.  Felt pretty good, weather was awesome.  I'm getting really good at bathing in the tiny handsink at work.

I love my Boston Marathon Race Number 18801.  I love 8's and 1's. I'm booking my flight now and I'm trying to get psyched--hoping it doesn't rain, that I will make it in one piece (I hate to fly), that I'm prepared to run it well and have fun there with my daughter.  I was sore again today from the hill repeats, and ran w/Marsha in that  horrible depressing a.m. darkness.  I hate daylight savings, I don't know why we have to do it.  It has messed up my sleep, my running, my children are exhausted and I can not see one single benefit to it.  Also, I told Marsh I was going to bail for the next 3 weeks so I can do my weekday runs either later in the morning, or at lunchtime during work.  I literally can not hack getting up this early when I'm trying to run hard.  Sleeping is just as important as running right now.  My friends from CA emailed yesterday to remind me about the St. George Marathon registration April 1st and also my UVM registration.  So I got my act together and registered for the Utah Valley Marathon June 12th and put it on my agenda to 'ding' me first thing on April 1st.  We'll see if I can hack 3 marathons.  I may have to bail on Park City because I'll probably be back east again.  I'm so excited to see my sister and for Moab! I pick her up from the airport in about 6 hours.  I am so looking forward to red rock country, hiking in arches & walking down main street in the balmy spring air partying with all the Halfers. 

9:14/8:59/8:49/8:45/9:44  Quick run back and forth and back and forth on the 1.1 mile of open trail behind the house (trail is closed because of the bridge construction).  I had to get it done before getting in the car and heading to Moab.  I felt stiff in the butt/piriformis/hips. I hope it was from my great hill work out on Tuesday, and not because I'm breaking my hip.  Tommorrow we'll be hiking Arches all day.  These girls that come from DC with my sister always hike the day before the race, it will be their 9th year to do Moab.  I think I've been doing it since 2005 (trying to think of the shirt they gave me).

3 warm up/ 3 cool down

13.1/ 8:40 ap, 3281 total runners, 1941 women runners (I ranked 376th of women runners, 50th of the 221 in my Age Division). 

I went up fairly early and ran a 3 mile warm up behind the start.  The day was gorgeous, clear, and windless.  Friday had been miserable hiking through arches (it felt like 20 degrees, snow piled on top of red sand, and it blew sand and snow into our hair and faces up at delicate arch).  But as soon as I warmed up (30 degrees, but no wind) I felt great. The worry over my stiff hips and lower back disappeared. I waited about 6 minutes till the road was cleared to cross the starting matt.  Wanted to take advantage of running easy downhill 8:34/8:24.  Mile 2 I stopped to drink, take off my thermal shirt, fix my hair/ear band that was acting crazy. 9:04/8:29/8:23 fairly downhill, when there were spots of sun on the road peeking through the canyon walls people would erupt into cheering--it was still pretty cold. 8:10/8:43/8:21  these were gentle the uphill miles, and as you can see the splits were really consistent.  I felt strong going up those hills and kept thinking of my daughter who during a tough treadmill run a couple weeks ago sat on the spin bike next to the treadmill and 'rode alongside the treadmill' saying really encouraging things.  I repeated the things she said in my mind "Go Mama!  You're doing good getting ready for Boston!".  She's really excited to go with me.  I thought of being 'a diamond & titanium girl.  I thought about the huge plate of rigatoni I'd eaten the night before--the thoughts of the rigatoni were especially encouraging.  I allowed myself to slow down between miles 9-10 (9:23) where that last  big hill  about kills you coming out of the canyon--right before the drum ladies who beat those huge skin drums--that always gives me the chills.  Then coming out of the canyon onto the road, I kept saying Smooth's "smooth-strong-fast" and "smooth to the finish".  I hate running on that road and it was especially heinous today with all the construction.  8:45/8:41/8:43  I surprised myself on the finish--I could have maybe even gone faster but I just wanted to maintain a strong & steady finish.  At least 3 people had warned me not to overdo the race today.  I thought an 8:40 average (only about 10 seconds behind my best half race pace) was reasonable effort.  After I finished (1:53), I ran back 1.5 miles to find my sister and ran her into the finish.  The sunlight, the red rock, the Colorado River, the company, the air quality, the clear sky--it was a Spring Equinox extraordinaire. We talked with Walter (who came in 7th overall) and Misty for a bit, chatted about Boston, who was going, what everyone was going to do.  It was a really nice day.  I feel I can do my best training in the next two weeks, and feel much more confident about my steps toward a strong finish at Boston.  Got home around 5:30-- going to do my pushups and sit ups-- I have not done them since Wednesday.  19 miles total, 7 or more miles at Race Pace.  It was a good day.

5 @9:40 ap.  Just a maintenance/recovery run for me and the dogs. 

9:03/8:57/9:21/9:25/9:30/8:41/9:55 

I ran a warm up mile.  Then ran 60 second pickups about every quarter mile, then for two miles ran a pick up for a quarter mile every other quarter mile.  My legs were a little tired. The spits never indicate the effort, which always feels discouraging. So the last mile I just picked up and ran a steady pace.  I have to keep it up these next two weeks.  I have to remember that these tough work outs make maintaining a decent speed during a race feasible.  I remember last summer, after Hobble Creek half marathon, my next long run was extra tough.  Have to find the balance between continuing to build strength & endurance, without exhausting my body this week.  I think I've been doing a pretty good job recently.  In spite of the cold weather, my never-ending bronchitis I was pretty happy about my performance on Saturday.  I felt strong.  I just want to feel that way again a month from now.

I have been trying to get enough sleep.  I am dedicated to good nutrition and adquete rest in reciprocation for my body's cooperation. But in addition the race on Saturday-- in which I felt the effort was good, but rather moderate-- I feel like I have not 'caught up' since daylight savings.   Also, everyone in my house has had strep--my son a reoccuring case (round 2).  I am sick of bleaching counters, doornobs, lightswitches, water faucets and boiling toothbrushes, washing pillowcases, bedclothes.  It's a lot of work -- on top of the worry they are going to die.  Yes, you don't just get a cold at my house-- you get tuberculosis because in spite of being blessed with good health, I'm a hypochondriac and generally psychotic.  It's always the early spring that's soo good for bronchitis-strep-flu-cold.  I blame the abrupt change in weather.  Although the snow melts, it's still cold and everyone is underdresses this time of year--thus stressing the immune systems via exposure making the body less resistent to bacteria and virus (at least that's what I think).  No one wants to wear winter gear when it's sunny --even if it's only 37 degrees and windy. I'm just hoping I'm not next.  My hands still smell like bleach, so I hope that helps keep the germs at bay for a few minutes.

After the kids got off to school it took me 15 minutes to decide if I was going to run hill repeats by my work, or to stick close to home for some faertleking (still funny after all these years).  I'm very distraught over the situation with the bridge construction that denys me a straight shot at the lake.  I have to run down my neighborhood.  I don't mind my neigbhorhood as long as I don't have to run through it and remind myself that I don't, in fact, live in the South of France or Chile (as sometimes time on the trail will lead me to believe).  Also, I like to take the dogs along for the ride, and there's just no way to do it thorugh the neighborhood without bringing a *plastic bag* yeeuuck.  I tried very hard to day to run 100 Meter strides and sprints.  I am at war with what might be considered VO2 capacity.  When I get going that fast for 100 or so feet, I feel like I'm going to pass out.  My eyes feel like rolling into the back of my head, and I have a hard time keeping them open (weird, I know).  I don't think my body likes being pushed very much, and it tries to shut me down and I find it extremely hard not to stop, bend over, and catch my breath before running again.  I jog so slow at the end of a pick up, it's slower than walking I'm sure.  I wish I knew what in the hell I was doing.  All I know is that pushing my speed a couple of times during a run a couple of times a week has made racing a better experience.  How it works, I do not know.  I just hope my legs can handle the next two weeks. Crunch time. Two of my longest Saturday Runs, and all the rest of my hill repeats and speed work need to cement their effect now.  I CAN do this!!!I CAN CAN CAN! 

Today I ran 4 miles to save up a little energy for the 23 I'm going to pound out tomorrow. I didn't calculate my weekends right and didn't realize until yesterday my last long run is tomorrow.  I hope my knees can take it. I haven’t felt ‘recovered’ from Moab.  But I’ve gotta getter done.  Catherine will accompany me on the last 18 and I’m going to finish heading up the canyon, up past Vivian so we can get a good incline on those last miles in preparation for the ‘heartbreak hills’.

Help me finish this sentence….I feel like a 'real runner' when:

(example:  a 4 mile jog doesn't qualify in your mind as 'running').

So many things went wrong on this run.  I'm wondering now how I can try to make up for it.  My plan was to run 5 before Cath came, but the minutes in the morning just slid one into another after I woke up and groggily tried to prepare for the grueling (what should have been 23) run ahead. I got only 3 under my belt before Cath showed up 9:34/9:45/9:09.  The plan was to run up to Big Springs from the house, which I estimated to be about 18 miles.  My legs are still feelin' it from last week, but we kept a good pace 9:40's, stopped at Will's Pit Stop, filled our bottles at the mouth of the canyon.  I was really thirsty, but only brouight my small hand-held.  I can tell right now I began to dehydrate somewhere around mile 11.  My Garmin had somehow lost a mile or more between my house and mile 12.  I don't know how, but it played with my mind since my legs/hamstrings were so tight and I was relying on checking the splits in 3 mile incriments.  Once we got past Nunn's Park and up onto the trail under Bridal Veil we were VERY surprized to learn the ENTIRE trail for the next 2-3 miles was 15 inches of solid ice or porous layers our feet would fall through and suck off our shoes.  It was slow going 14 m/m for those two or three miles.  I wonder if you can even count what we did as running.  I was not breathing hard, but man it was tough to keep your feet  moving without turning an ankle or falling.  By this time I did not trust the Garmin mileage wise because it was showing 12 total, when I know for a fact it's at least 15 to Vivian Park.  We stopped briefly at Vivian so I could stretch my ailing hamsrings and stated up the windy uphill grade to Big Springs. That was calculated torture.  I wanted to end my 21-23 on that uphill grade in anticipation for the hills in Boston.  I know a 7 mile slight uphill grade (particularly the last 3) is overkill, but it did feel good to get to the top, where I dry heaved for about 2 minutes.  We then ran down 1 more mile where we caught our ride at south Park.  I am THRASHED.  I'm not sure about the mileage, I'm dissapointed our 'run' was broken up so badly between  mile 13-15 by the snowy trail and ice and I'm not sure the incline at the end produced the kind of fatigue I was hoping to conquer.  I was sore, more than tired, but mentally beaten.  Catherine is counting the run as 18 miles, I'm counting mine as 22.  I'll run two cool down in the evening to keep myself from going rigormortis.  Fish oil, calcium, magnesium is on the menu.  I have no idea how that work out will translate at  Boston since our AP ended up being 10:45 and I stopped at least 5 times.  I wanted a tough, fluid 23 mile run to get my confidence up for those last 6 marathon miles that always wreak havoc :( Oh well, I did what I could.

Ran from my office, up the hill past Rock Canyon.  Ran up about another 1/2 mile past the entrance.  I passed this group of 3 young men hiking up, all sporting Camelbacks, Keens, and hip looking knit caps.  Obviously spending some quality man time with nature. As I was passing them up on the trail they looked over their shoulders to see a middle aged mommy-type overtaking them.  I think they were disappointed I wasn't someone cooler, like a cute mountain climber girl laden with climbing ropes needing a little assist.  Spring has sprung alright.  Everyone's out in their coolest gear. This would also explain the weird-o's out there in the bushes doing who-knows-what-all.  I really don't wanna know.  Legs felt pretty dead from Saturday.  But they behaved pretty well.  9:40's ave.

Ran with the dogs.  Didn't make any heroic efforts except to keep running.  I actually felt better (legs) yesterday than today. I have no idea if I should be attempting any speed training now that I'm at the peak of my personal physical and mental exhaustion.  This is going to be a tough week. I always get "here" 3 weeks before the marathon. I know this exhaustion and I always wonder when I'm here what in the heck I am doing this for.  I'm going to do this one for my kids, theywant to go to Boston to see friends & sites, and they know this is the race of all races.  They are old enough to see and understand what it is to stick with something and acheive it.  I will run the marathon of all marathons for their sake.  It makes them proud of me and so I want to do it so when I'm in a hospital bed one day they can remember when I was young and strong so it will give them their own strength.

It was so balmy yesterday, what happened?  Cold weather stymied my ambition, and so I stayed on the treadmill and ran while watching Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. I am a whole generation older than the characters in that movie.  I could have been the mother to either of them.  Besides making me feel old, I thought the track would be better than it was.  I mean, the movie was sort of about music being the thing that brings these two together.  I gave it a 5 out of 10.

AP 9:20.  I did run  2 of those @ 8:30 pace.  I stayed inside on the treadmill because the moment I was heading out the door it was blizzarding.  However briefly this cold shot lasts, this weather and this week is killing me.  Everything I've touched has turned to crap this week.  I wanted to be outside and do a few quick quarters, or get a little closer to VO2 capacity than those 8:30's....but inside I sweat off like 2 pounds. So I'll take the effort and the mileage as a triumph for today.  Because what I really wanted is to stay home under the covers until next week, or whenever it's 75 degrees again.

9:11/8:48/8:34/8:54/8:43 quick little afternoon run.  Have a Good Friday.

9:30 average.  Had to get up at 6:00 a.m. and could only do half of the run, had to get back to my kids who were calling and calling my phone.  So I was forced to finish the second half 4 hours later.  This sucked.  I have not run a full uninterrupted 20 miler this whole time.  I am exhausted.  Training for Boston has not been a good experience overall.  I don't like trying to run this hard, and going this far in the cold & snow. I gave up skiing in early February to spare my knees, and allow me more energy to training in earnest. This too made me resentful.  I trained for Ogden a few years ago and even that was too early in the year for me.  Reading through my pre St. George entries from fall, I was in such a different place.  I'd come back from a fabulous vacation with my dearest friends, and my sister, having trained on the sand for 2 weeks, I came back rested totally, and I love the end of summer (even if running through the first month of the school year presents inconvenient challenges). In August/Sept I ran two races and averaged 8:15's.  I was happy with my effort at Moab two weeks ago (8:50 ap), but you know I really wanted at least two fluid and successful +20' milers.  I did two 19 milers, but last week's 22 bit the big one.  This week I have not felt good, the cold has kicked my piriformis, and I'm a big fat pouty cry baby.  My body either can or can't run 26 miles successfully in 2 weeks.  Why can't I embrace this?  Why can't I celebrate this?  I don't know if I'm exhausted from trying to train this time of year, or if the exhaustion has dropped me into depression (made worse by the weather and recent life-circumstances).  I am so looking forward to being in Boston, being with friends, having my kids play with their friends.  But I am worried about pushing this marathon to happen in spite of my rebellious mind.  When my mind doesn't agree with my body, I usually pay for it.  I'm trying to be positive though, I want this, it's just way harder than I expected it to be and I haven't performed recently in a way that makes me feel that it's 'all been worth it.'  If I finish Boston with even moderate success (given moderate circumstances) I will be proud.  But all I have sacrificed these past 3 months, all the changes at work, and in life I've had to embrace, the anticipation of running the marathon of all marathons--doing it for my children (trying to show them that one can work toward and accomplish hard things).  But the whole effort seems laughable when my attitude is this defeated.  I learn all the time how weak my mind really is.  I don't need to be petted and coddled, I just need to get through this.  If there ever is a 'next time' maybe it will be better.  Sorry, I gotta dump the trash somewhere.

9:13/9:09/8:44/9:07/9:23/9:30/9:30

I made my son, who is on spring break drive his bike alongside me today, so he could get some fresh air after a snowy indoor Easter weekend spent largely in front of the Television for many hours Sat/Sunday. He was not excited about going outside into the wind at first, but as we got about half a mile down the trail, I began to count the number of times he made a declaration and started a question with the phrase "MAMA!" (as loudly as if I was a mile down the trail, even though we were side by side).  It went like this:  MAMA!  why haven't we ever seen a frog at this rivertrail?    MAMA!  do you think we can come back and try to catch a frog? .....MAMA! are the frogs mostly in the mud?  MAMA!  what is the difference between a frog and a toad?  MAMA!  do you think it's harder to catch a frog than it is a lizard? Mama! do you think that sound is frogs or crickets?  I kid you not. He kept me almost completely distracted and it reminded me of when he was younger, and talked to me more often. He was fun to have along, he enjoyed getting off his bike at the end of the trail and looking out to see how the wind picked up the lake and thrashed it around.  Also we saw lots of geese at the reserve with their baby gosslings.  Even if it was hard to maintain a stupid 9:09 and I could feel it in my calves and shins,  it sure was fun to have my son along. 

Non-eventful 5 mile run.   Gloomy, windy trail. AP 9:04.

What a difference the sun makes!  This morning before the sun even rose, the birds on the trail were going crazy.  It started with the woodpecker pounding away in the dark, but then became a crazy chirping symphony as the dawn broke.  Without even looking out the window, I knew the sky was going to be clear because of those birds.  It was chilly, but windless.  In spite of the change in attitude, my legs still feel beat. I ate a ton of protein yesterday.  After talking to Marion at lunch I was more certain than ever, that I have been too lazy at good protein replacement in the past 6 months.  I think I've actually lost muscle mass.  I am about 3 pounds lighter than normal (for no apparent reason) and my legs don't seem to recover as quickly from my harder or longer work-outs.  I think I'm missing that combination of zinc, magnesium, iron, and protein.  So yesterday I forced myself to eat a hamburger patty and almost threw it back up.  I also ate a can of beans and had a protein shake.  I have been so bad about my diet since about November. I haven't been careful enough to eliminate sugar and replace meat with good sources of protein.  This could explain my sluggishness and lack of muscular stregth.  Anyway, on the trail, I saw one of my hawks flying with a rat in its talons, and a whole flock of yellow headed blackbirds. Their yellow chests were so bright in the sun, it made me realize how long it's been since I've seen any birds since fall.  I also so a huge egret fly out of the bird reserve, it's huge long legs trailing behind those enormous outstretched wings.  I was tired after the run and did extra stretching.  I have no explaination for why I'm so tired all the time, even though I haven't had a really hard work out for about a week. 

What a gorgeous day.  Clear blue sky, mild temperatures. 

Blogging retrospectively.  Took the kids on Spring Break to Southern Utah.  Ran a quick 5 down the trail then off for a 4 hours car ride.

Such a beautiful run in Southern Utah.  I ran along the Colorado River up the canyon 4 miles and back.  The day was pristine and I could not have asked for a more beautiful morning.  I'm trying to get my confidence up for next week.

I keep expecting these smaller runs to be faster, or less effort, or easier.  I'm averaging 9:04's and feel pretty strong.  But the further out I get from my last long run, the more I doubt I can actually finish a marathon in good time.  I'm even wondering how I did so well at Moab Half Marthon. Did I reach peak condition a month ago? A marathon is always a huge undertaking each and everytime I do it. It's what makes it exciting.  Only this time around I've really put myself to the test.  I don't like pressure, but I really want to run this Marathon.  It's been hard -- the winter training, the bronchitis, the stress, the unexplained exhaustion.  I'm super excited about being with my FBR running buddies and my bestest East coast friends, brining my kids, being in Boson.  But the more I read about the course, the wind, the extreme weather, the hills...the more emails (and they come daily) from the BAA association warning about cardiovascular emergencies and heatstroke on the course, the more freaked I get.  The pressure is winding me up like a toy.  I just hope that pressure will lead to a solid effort on race day--come what may. I've had a fun time reading the history of the marathon.  I read a particular article about how bad atheletic shoes used to be at the turn of the century, and how bloody blistered feet could force a winning contender to drop out.  I have good shoes, I have done the training.  I have run in the snow, and in the rain, and in the wind.  My son asked me yesterday on the drive home what I was thinking about.  I had been imagining what I'd read about the course by 2 mile incriments and I was trying to remember which miles the writer had said 'this is the part you should be running the splits you'd planned on'.  I said "I was thinking about the race course and hoping I can finish well."  He looked at me from the reveiw mirror (as he does so often) and points with his chin down to my T-shirt which bore the slogan "JUST DO IT".  Well ok then.

I slept with the window partially open so I could hear the rain falling during the night.  I got out to run around 8 after everyone was gone to school, which was perfect. The sky was clearning in places and peeking bright spots of blue.  There were feathery clouds sticking like white cotton candy to the snows of Mt. Timpanogos.  The tree branches were wet and dark so all the new green buds seemed even more vibrant and tender.  It was a lush morning that reminded me of my childhood springtimes in San Diego; Mositure in the air and the smell of wet dirt.  This lovely scenario, was enjoyed more thouroughly because I left my Garmin hanging decidely in it's place at home.  I ran with my eyes closed part of time so I could listen to the river made newly fat by the rain and snow.  I love running just for the fun of it.  I haven't felt that in months.

I have never tapered for a Monday race before.  Normally it's so easy, 5,4,3,2, 2  But with the addition of SAturday and Sunday, I'm all confused.  So I've done 6, 5,5, and then tommorrow and beyond 4,3,2, 2?  I don't know what I'm doing.  I must be the dumbest runner to ever have been allowed to run the Boston Marathon.

I'm not gonna lie, getting ready for the Boston Marathon has been hard for me--but talking about the Boston Marathon (telling friends & family I'm running it), reading all about the Boston Marathon; the Route, the history,the history of running shoes, past Boston atheletes bio's & histories--- THAT has all been super fun.  I hope no one is terribly disapointed if I can't finish in under 4 hours, but this morning I was truly relishing the idea (running with a smile on my face even) that I was getting to run, had qualified to run in the oldest, most historical, most respected footrace in America.  The Boston Marathon always falls on Patiriot's Day (which we don't celebrate here) but which marks the day & celebrates the day Paul Revere rode through Boston to warn the minute men that the British were heading to Concord and Lexington for munitions.  The Boston Marathon is part of the patriot day celebrations first organized in the late 1800's.  In a way, it is like our own Provo Freedom Festival "Freedom Run" we so proud and fond of here in Utah.  But this is the real deal.  Patriot's day marks the beginning actions of our rebellion against taxation without representation, and initiated the incredible & miraculous series of battles that won this country its independence from the England..... And I get to run the most historic footrace in America to celebrate this with my best friends, good running buddies, my sister, and my children.  For better or worse-however the day/my performance/ the race goes down.  You can bet I will be relishing the sights, sounds, and experience of the Boston Marathon.  I'm officially psyched.

It's simple.  To make 3 miles seem fun, you've just got to run about six 50+ mile weeks in a row, including 2 speed work outs and one long run per week.  I loveed 3 miles!  I even did a few 100 foot sprints I felt so happy.  I am so ready for the Boston 5K.  By this time tommorrow I will be hunting Cannolies at Bova's. 

Got into Boston last night.  I woke up at 6:30, it was light already, but raining.  I put on my rain gear and ran from my friend's house to the Salem city Park by the bay.  I stood looking out toward Marblehead.  I just love it here. Nice, slow little 2 miler around the park smelling of ocean and spring rain.

5K-26:19/10K-52:49(26.30)/15K-1:19(26.51)/20K-1:47 (28)/ Half-1:53/25K 2:14 (27)/30K-2:44(30)/35K-3:13(29)/40K 3:42(29)

Spent the night in Hopkington with my friend from high school.  Slept better, and for more hours than I ever have before a race.  I was totally at peace with whatever was going to happen. I got dropped me off at the shuttle at 8:30 not too far from her house. Got to the Athelete's Village, and never saw so many port a potties in my life.  Ran into Kathie from the blog and her friend Marcie.  We looked all over for  Smooth.  We heard the National Anthem, saw & heard the fighter jets go overhead, and heard the gun go off for the first wave. Had the regular experience of standing at the start line, nervously chatting with other runners, trying to decide how much of your clothes to throw away and when (I had old painted on sweats my friend had given me).  Finally the race started on across the line, heading downhill.  By mile 3 I knew I was going to fast, but couldn't help myself.  It's downhill, and there are crowds on either side of the road cheering, it makes it hard to think or keep your adrenaline under control--ran that way for 7 miles looking at the little towns and hearing everyone's warning voices in my head "Don't start out too fast!" (8:43/8:19/8:24/8:13/8:30/8:31/8:20).  I hadn't really trained the way I'd wanted, and complained about it the whole past 4 months, so I figured I'd be tired at the end anyway so what the hay--I gave it a good go for a while.  They were supposed to time you every 5K and text the times.  So I decided I'd take the race by 5K's and concentrate on getting to the next timing mats one at a time. Mile 7 is when I was really thinking about how those hills at 16-21 were going to be 'my race'.  I just wanted to get there and get to work.  I was anxious and just wanted to get there, but I started to slow down to save a little gas.  The rolling hills at the beginning of the course were much more uphill than I'd expected, but those few downhills felt nice to relax and go with it.  I loved the road side rapper "You here cause you got the juice, now let your Boston Marathon loose!  If you not sure next what to do, don't forget to eat up some GU! Make Gatorade your drink --then run and run and try not to think!" or something like that.  I loved the group of really tall transvestites dressed to the nines in their stilettos and feather boas, cowboy chaps, boots, hats and blond dolly Parton Wigs.  That made me laugh.  I also almost forgot the Elvis Impersonator singing Love Me Tender while I ran by.  Those things kept my mind at ease and made me laugh.  Getting in to Wellsley, there were tons of people, lots of cheering.  Going past the college, of course were the Wellsley screaming tunnel.  To my surprise, there was a group holding a sign that said "Go Luz Lewis!!  I was so shocked, I ran over to them and asked where they got my name-- my friend, who I'd stayed the night with was a Wellsley Alum, and she'd arranged it.  I took a picture of the sign and had someone take a picture of me with the group.  It made me smile for the next 3 miles(8:44/8:35/8:31/8:53/8:38/8:41).  All I could think about next was getting to the Newton Hills to take on the beast (8:55/8:53/8:52). That first hill between 16-17 was pretty long.  It was a gentle uphill, but I could feel my calves and hamstrings.  I just put down my head, ignored everyone on the sides of the road and shuffled up hill.  Of course, there are 4 total hills, one every mile for 4 miles.  It kept the course interesting, and it was nice to get to the top and breath a deep sigh of relief after each one.  It was in fact easier to catch a breath here than in Utah once you were at the top.  On that third hill, there was a girl next to me who began to whimper a little so I just looked over at her and I said 'come on sister, let's kick this thing's a..."  She laughed and picked it up and we ran up it together.  That last one was tough because it curves at the top, and has one extra little hump. But by the top there were so many people cheering that it took my mind off it for a second.  That plus the downhill after was great.  I just remembered reading how they said "don't try to make up for the lost time on that downhill or you'll trash your quads and wreck the rest of the race.  I didn't take that advice and just took the downhill like I felt like it. (9:55/9:56/9:11/9:07/9:59/8:44).  My whole goal in my mind was to get to mile 23.  Once I got to 23 I relaxed and started slapping the hands of the little kids along the side of the road.  I knew the race was in the bag, but I was really beat.  I knew my body was doing exactly what I'd trained it to do, and I couldn't expect more-- and since I lacked another 20 miler and quality speed work--I couldn't expect more.  That said, I still felt pretty strong--I was just going way slow even though I felt my pace was equal effort to the 8's I'd been running at the start.  Running into the city was an absolute experience.  The streets were lined with drunk Boston College students,  people getting onto and off of the trains, and lined 4 deep along the sides of the road.  I did my best not to look at that huge Citgo sign you can see for 2 miles.  It does give one the sense of doom.  You never reach it and you know it's only 1 mile from the finish.  The chute got smaller, and as I approached the city on Commonwealth ave.  I had a lot of trouble with people running slowly in front of me, particularly runners running side by side.  I was too tired to speed up, say excuse me to get into the middle, or run around them.  So I just did what I could without being heroic.  Going down the ramp and having to make that one last up hill and two 90 degree turns, was not as nearly tough as turning the last corner onto Boylston and seeing .2 miles to the finish chute. It seemed really far away.  I always say, .2 is the cruelest distance.  I closed my eyes, ignoring everyone around me, and prayed for the end.  When it was through, and I could walk--I turned to the person next to me and said "Is it true?  Are we done?" He said "No kidding, that was tough." (9:27/9:04/9:09/9:55/9:55).  The walking to get the mylar blankest, the drinks, the bags and then wait at the last name was a lot of walking in that cold wind--but it was exactly what I needed to do.  It felt great.  My family (kids) and my best friends in the world who live in Salem were all there.  They had been about 1 mile from the finish and had seen me go by.  My son was so proud of me, he hooked his arm through mine and wanted to walk with me to show he was with me.  My daughter was beaming and kept hugging me.  I was so happy I'd made them proud.  We waited for about 15 minutes in the "L" section because I wanted to find Susanna, but I was tired and wanted desperately to get on the train and get home.  Todd bought me a hot chocolate for the train ride home and I sat with my kids one on either side thrilled I'd just finished the Boston Marathon.  I was satisfied with the Sub 4, even though had I done a few things differently (like not stopped to drink every single 2 miles); I could have finished more like 3:50.  It would have been great to say I qualified for Boston at Boston--but I really am satisfied with the overall experience. Once at home, my friends made me homemade whole wheat pizza piled high with spinich, broccoli, bell peppers, fresh tomatoes & mushrooms.  It was heavenly.  I don't know how tomorrow will be, but I'm only marginally tired--although my biceps are sore (?) and I'm totally going to lose at least 3 toenails.  I had a huge blood blister that popped in my shoe too--didn't even feel it.  And that, my friends was my Boston Marathon!

I did a ton of walking all over Salem/Rockport/Marblehead/Boston in the two days after the marathon.  I also did a loht of beach nappin' and lobstah eatin'.  I missed all the post-race activities with the Boston crowd & FRB friends, primarily because I had my kids with me, and because my hosts had a plethora of post-race activities planned for me.  Got back late last night. Although the morning had been rainy/lightly snowing, at lunchtime the clouds cleared and I enjoyed a cool, bright, sunshiney run with my dogs who were insanely happy to see me after my 5 days away.  The crabapple and cherry trees along the river had presence of mind to bloom in honor of my triumphant return.  Springtime!

I love these little runs at lunch time.  Today it was raining, cool, and lush.  Just the right temp for me (high 40's).  I decided to run up to the East Lawn Cemetary from my office. I wore my Official Boston Marathon jacket and felt all cool going down the road.  I have so enjoyed the tapering runs and now the reverse tapering process. I'm giving myself 2 weeks to go easy before starting back up again for Utah Valley Marathon. But for now, I'm relishing the idea that tommorrow's main activities do not include3 hours or more of running first thing in the morning. I changed my profile picture to one of my Boston photos.  By the looks of the shot, I'm really going for it.  Too bad, by the time this photo was taken during the race, I was struggling to hold on to 9's.  Can't believe Boston is now a memory.  One of the best ones I have.  Many years from now, I hope to look back on it and remember how it was to be young, strong and part of one of the most famous races in America.  I hope the vistis we made to Lexington & Concord (on the very anniversary of the ride of Paul Revere, April 18th) and our walk along the Freedom Trail in Boston made an impression on my children.  I am so grateful now I put myself up to the task.

It was a beautiful morning. I relished running my favorite 4 miles from the top of my trail to the lake and back in the sunshine.  There was enough wamth, that anything flowering was wafting through the air.  Lots of people out on training runs.  It would be the last long run for anyone doing Ogden (Catherine).  A friend of mine from Colorado wrote me last night and is doing the Squaw Peak 50, and invited me to come run a leg of it with him on June 5th.  I'll be recovered by then, but will be running Utah Valley marathon the next Saturday.  I really want to run a portion of it though, just not sure how far I can go. This is the closest I've ever done two marathons.  I'm wondering how in the world I can get my mileage back without hurting stuff.  I'm feeling strong right now, just slow--and tired.  I've been really tired this week.  I am so grateful for the flowering trees and sleepy sunshine.  Going to nap on my hammock now.

I rode my stationary bike yesterday.  I'm going to try what I learned from Rhett at Boston about keeping the miles moderate (40-50MPW), but really pushing the aerobic limits on cross training.  I have a really good spin bike and I can get a pretty good work out--while hopefully saving my knees and back from pounding while I get strong again after Boston & train for UVM in June. I'm still in awe of my Boston experience.  I'm so glad I did it.  I'm so glad I put myself up to the challenge.  It was wonderful to be part of a 24,000 person running team for one weekend, in a wonderful city, with running friends, and old friends. My only regret about Boston was not trying harder.  I did not employ the spirit of Michelle properly and looking back, there was no place in the race I really tested my boundries. I just gave a solid effort.   I wonder if that was a wasted opportunity particularly in light of the perfect weather we had that day. I did enjoy the course and the experience, but I'll always wonder, could I have done better? Pushed further? Tried harder?.  I kept my effort moderately high, but could have performed at least 4-6 minutues better than I did. I probably did not need to stop and thank my 'fan club' at Wellsely.  They would have understood I think if I ran by with a simple smile and a wave. But I was caught up and so grateful for the support of strangers.  Per my effort overall;  Not sure if I was conserving energy because I was unsure of  the course challenges (hills), or just plain afraid of success in a major venue.  I sometimes have to give myself permission to be fabulous and I get intimidated instead of competative. I'm mulling that one over in my mind these days.  I came away in one piece, and aside from the toenails not a lot of microtearing/muscle soreness. I did hurt to go down the narrow steep little stairs of my friends beautiful federalist home the days after the race...but nothing like how I felt last year after Utah Valley Marathon.  Anyway, todays run was ok AP 9:24.  I'm looking forward to running the Bonneville Shoreline Trail with Josse on Friday.  I hope the weather is nice.  It was freeeeeeezing last time she took me up there.  

8:49/9:22/12:02/8:43/8:33/9:11

I did one of my pre-Boston hill routes today at lunch.  I am loving the cool, rainy weather.  It's so fun to run in drizzly, lush spring rain when you're only doing 6 easy miles (as opposed to intervals or a long run).  I totally enjoyed being outside.  My run felt really good and I was pleased with the effortless sub 9's.  Mile 1.7 and mile 2 were from the bottom of the Provo Temple Hill up a 1.3 miles into the mouth of Rock Canyon.  I love doing that 1.3 up hill.  It's easier on my body than speed running, and gives me a rockin' aerobic challenge.  I could have pushed the pace up the hill, but I'm still being nice to myself post marathon.  Those hill repeats though, I did a month ago have left me with a bid of tendonitis just above my achilles.  My newest form of tendonitis.  I've had it everywhere but there (priformis, knee, elbow).  I'm going to use my Arnica ointment, and start again with my flax/omega-3/fish oil regime.  Loving these cool rainy Spring afternoon runs! 

I don't know how lucky we will be with this cool-ish weather.  But I love it.  It allows me to run later in the morning or even at lunchtime.  I ran 8ish this morning down to the lake and let the color of the new green leaves and the sound of the river, rushing fat with Spring rain, fill my soul.  Training this winter was so hard, and it is satisfying to have a good memory of my Boston accomplishment/experience--but I run overall because of days like today.  Mt. Timpanogs so white and majestic. The low clouds clinging to the Wasatch Front like cotton candy.  Light rain and soft chilly breeze.  An older gentleman stopped me on the trail to ask if I could see the albino Robin he'd spotted, in that tree over there, and he pointed to show me where.... Everyone I crossed the path with today had a cheerful word.  I remember so clearly about two weeks ago, during one of my taper runs for Boston and for the first time in forever, 'enjoying' how it felt to run and be outside.  I guess the hard work is what eventually makes running in general easier and enjoyable. But I am in love with the seasons, and being outside, and feeling well & strong.   I don't want to get all nervous about how many miles I'm supposed to run Saturday.  Austensibly, I should have a long run since we are 6 weeks out from Utah Valley.  I should be in the 14-17 mile range for 6 weeks out--but I think I'm going to run 8 in the morning and then another 4 in the afternoon to break it up.  I did that early on in my Boston training. We'll see.  Saturday is the Provo Half Marathon!  It's too bad the course will be so ugly with the temporary closure of the trail. I'm going to get my run done early so I can go watch a bunch of my friends cross the finish line: Michelle, Josse, Marion, and my hair-cutter girl, Jenn (who I talked into running this race a few months ago).  Not sure who else is running Saturday. And then Happy Birthday to Marion! 

Who loves snow in (almost) May?  Met Josse for an easy run to the mouth of the canyon.  It was good company so I wasn't minding the weather (that and I was wearing a cap to sheild my eyelashes from the blowing flakes). All the flowering pear trees along the path were laden with heavy snow. We were so close to having an actual Spring. Hopefully the weather will be calm tomorrow for a successful half marathon for all my friends. For the record, Josse is looking radiant 21 weeks pregnant. She and Erika are running Provo Half tomorrow so I must add them to my list of finishers to cheer.  Talked with Michelle about the course--it winds through all the ugliest neighborhoods in town and misses the rivertrail all together.  All those weird turns.  I hope there are volunteers at all the places you're supposed to turn so she doesn't get lost (out there in front of everyone else like she'll be).  I offered to bring my pink (breast cancer) snuggie to the finish for her, but she just laughed. Why do they all laugh at my snuggie?  Sure, go ahead and laugh right up until those post race goose-bump and shivers start when you're soaking wet and it's 40 degrees on May 1st.  But no pink snuggie for Michelle--she wants me to stand 200 M from the finish to yell at her to go faster (she gave me exact words, which I will reherse later tonight, but I may surprise her with my improv skills).  Hey, I may not be able to run fast, but I CAN in fact yell loud and bossy.  Can't wait to see everyone cross the line!  Good luck everyone.

AP 9:22 Catherine's winding down for Ogden in two weeks.  I was really pleased I ran this far, this fast today.  We went down the South jetti, which we've never done.  It was awesome to be surrounded by water on either side, the wind whipping up the waves and splashing us.  The sky was grey and it rained the whole run.  We were loving it and kept pretending that we lived in Seattle or Portland.  Then I remembered how it was 8:00 a.m. and they were starting the Provo Half  Marathon at that moment.  I really hoped for the sake of Jenn, Marion and Michelle (and Josse & Ericka) that today was going to be a calm day.  But man, it rained, and pelted the whole time. I ran home, grabbed a thermos of hot chocolate and the Snuggie (sure laugh) and got quick to Center Street to position myself close to the finish.  First Jeff Mc came in--sailing in ahead of anyone--with no perceivable emotion on his face.  He was so focused and intent coming across that finsih it was inspirational.  Meanwhile, 5 minutes later came the next runner, then MaryAnn, then Michelle and Tyler.  I did as Michelle instructed--yelled loud at her to get a move on and push hard to the end.  She championed that last .10 and came in a minute under her expected 1:24.  Even in the crappiest weather ever--she sailed  right in looking ever the elite.  I got to meet Melody too, who had come in third. Those girls make winning a race look easy and natural.  That's when you know they're good at it--when it looks easy.  It makes me want to run faster.  I stood and cheered for all the other elites on down to the 8-9 m/milers coming in. Michelle and I waited a bit, but then Michelle took off to find Marion and run her in.  When they came in, I was a little worried--Marion was really concentrating.  But once she stopped running she recovered herself.  I was great to see her come in.  I missed Josse & Ericka, and also Jenn.  but I had such a great time cheering for everyone.  It was much funner to cheer at the race than to run it :)  I have now cooked 5 hours straight and am looking forward to sharing my Chilean Pastel de Choclo and flourless chocolate torte w/ganoche at the party.   I've had the best day.  Running in the lush cool rain w/Catherine on the jetti, feeling so strong, then seeing my friends achieve their running goals, and then cooking with the same sense of intensity and fun with which I started my day.  My kids & their friends ran in and out of the house, and my best neighbor friends came to sit in the kitchen and talk to me while I cooked for hours and hours.  And now I get to go to a party and play guitar hero.  I Love today.

It was cold and rainy this morning but by the time I got out to run at lunchtime, it was balmy, and green and fragrant.  Only problem is I had to run back and forth on a 2 mile segment of the trail for 6 miles because of the construction.  They had it open on Saturday for the Provo City Half--but closed it right up again.  I hate that bridge.  I hate Provo City for wanting to bring more traffic to the airport.  I hate a lot of things right now. However, the running part of my day was fabulous.  AP 9:03

I love lower temperatures for running.  But after yesterday's balmy, sunny afternoon; the wind and sleet and grey of today made me just want to stay in bed.  I had a hard time of it. My energy level was really low, my hams felt sore in the cold, and I hated getting pelted in the face by hail (?).  Or whatever hard snowflakes are called.  After I got the kids off to school I took a really warm bath, fell asleep, and then woke up, already half hour late for work (still in the tub).  Maybe one of these times I'll just drown in the tub like they keep promising.  Falling asleep in a warm bathtup sounds like a fine way to go.  Except that I would feel kind of bad for my cat, who likes to sit at the edge of the tub and wait because she  knows I'm going to feed her as soon as I'm done.  I'm working on becoming one of those sad old women who have a lot of cats.  Wonder why I'm so tired?  I have been really tired for about 2 months.

....still cold and cranky. I couldn't run until the end of the day. But it was nice to run in the late sunlight. 

My hamstrings are absolutley a mess in this cold.  I've done lots of extra stretching, but I feel like they are made of glass.  I had so much energy last week.  I thought I'd escaped the post-marathon blues.  I know it takes me at least 4 weeks to fully recover.  I couldn't sprint right now if my life depended on it.

I ran with Josse and Ericka up on the Bonneville Shoreline trail.  So fun. It was windy and miserable getting up that hill at first, but once on the trail, protected by the mountain--the hillsides and the valley floor were bright green, the air was clear and clean, the lake was mirror blue, the sky was wide and brigh, and the mountain tops still capped with snow.  It took my breath away to look over the valley surrounded by the arms of our mountains.  Even as I sit here writing this my minds eye is still on top of the mountain.  I love when Josse takes me up there.  Gorgeous.  What  great way to start my morning. 

I had the pleasure of running with Ericka and Catherine this morning.  We did 8.5 together/ap 9:13.  Then Josse joined us for some more miles.  I could only hack 4 more.  I was really tired today and maybe dehydrated because it was warm.  I haven't had enough water (or anything healthy).  I've been lazy since Boston (what was that like a month ago...I love excuses).  But I was a little nauseous and had to ask Ericka for some of her drink.   She and Josse went on to run some more miles without me.  Josse and Catherine are both running Ogden and Ericka and I are trying to find a way to sneak in and run the course for fun.  Maybe I can find someone (like my uncle in Liberty) to drive us to the start.  We'll see.

I really enjoy lunchtime running whent the weather is good.  I ran a mile and a half up Rock Canyon.  I don't know if this much up hill is good for me if I'm not using good posture/form.  But I do love going uphill. I get a good aerobic work out no matter how slow I go.  I've come to the conclusion though, that the trailhead at Rock Canyon has weird energy.  Don't know what people are doing up there to bring that feeling to the area, but I always get slightly weireded out going up that trail about a mile.  My Garmin died about 3 miles from lack of battery, so I don't even know what the run was like.  Yes I do, it was slow.

Ran w/ Josse, Ericka, & Brune up Provo Canyon to my favorite water fountain.  I remember that waterfountain from when it was just a pipe coming out of the ground and the path was not paved.  That water always runs so clear and cold and is the most delicious thing in the world come summer mornings.  I have no idea how fast or slow since I didn't bring the Garmin.  It started to rain really hard right when we were finishing the run.  Perfect timing.  The weather has been so perfectly cool for running.  I still would like a few more of those clear May skies sometime. But I have been loving the smell of the lilacs in my yard, my bleeding hearts are in full bloom and the hosta are all a few inches above the ground.  It's so much more green and lush this year because of the rain. 

I happened upon someone yesterday who tried to explain footstrike hemolysis and why distance runners are more prone to iron deficiency than seditary people.  So I read this in Pete Pfitzinger's lab report:

#2: Many endurance athletes have low iron intakes. Low iron intake is a problem for vegetarians, and for those runners who eat red meat less than once per week. The typical high carbohydrate, low fat, low cholesterol runner's diet often includes little or no red meat. Red meat contains heme iron, which is more easily absorbed than plant sources of iron.

#3: Foot strike hemolysis is the breakdown of red blood cells when the foot hits the ground. While foot strike hemolysis is not a big problem for most runners, if you are larger than average or run high mileage on asphalt, it could be a factor for you.

I am larger than average, and I run exclusively on pavement/asphalt and I gave up meat about a year ago.  I saw Food Inc. last fall and it was the final straw in terms of eating animal protein.  After I stopped eating meat at least twice a week, over time (a few months) I started getting really fatigued.  I could run, but I was always tired after, and I was sleeping like a rock 8-9 hours every night--still fatigued during the day.  I could not pull myself together.  Before Boston as I was at the peak of my marathon training and starting the taper, I force-fed myself a red meat on the supposition it was Ferritin iron deficiency.  In addition, I started my B complex vitamins again--and in this article learned that Niacin and B12 deficiencies over time lead to iron deficiencies.  So my hypothosis regading B complex and iron deficiency was, I think correct. I resent eating meat anymore.  It was hard in those months to figure out what else besides huge quantities of beans and nuts (and shakes) could replace the amount of protein I felt I needed.  But I do know that I was very tired.  Since going back to eating some red meat each week since about the middle of April--I've gained a few pounds, but I feel much stronger. I'm sure going from 50+ mile weeks down to 30 miles for a few weeks helps too. 

9:34 av lunchtime run .  My river has gotten so big!  I've been listening to it at night from bed.  May is my second favorite month of the year.  I can't wait for the roses to bloom.

Baby taper run for Ogden Marathon.  I hope it's good weather tomorrow.  It thought it was supposed to be sunny, but it's pretty darn chilly.  Driving Catherine to my Aunt's house tonight and we'll hit the expo to pick up our numbers.  (Thanks to Nan's friend for my racing number!).  I'm so glad I got in.  I hope it's a good day and a good run.  Utah Valley Marathon a month from this weekend.  Whew, I have a lot going on tommorrow after the race (soccer game, dinner party, guests on Sunday).  I'm going to be exhausted by Monday.

I'll have to fill in my official information later since I wasn't able to see my official chip time, and it's not yet available online.  I had a great, great day.  Picked up Cath last night (the day and the race really belonged to her).  She'd been training really hard and wanted to re-qualify for Boston.  I bought someone else's place in the race just so I could run the half M to keep myself occupied and get in my Sat training run while I waited to run Cath into the finish.  I love the Ogden Marathon course. I love that valley and canyon.  We did the Expo late, ran into Kelly & her beau, then went to a pasta place and received marginal food and terrible service (Ogden, sheesh).  Got back to my Aunt's house and promptly never slept a wink until 3:50 a.m.  My darling Auntie dropped us off at the start, Cath went off with the big boys and girls to her busses and I waited for Josse, Ericka, and Rad so we could ride the Half M busses.  I was sleeeeeeepy.  But it was fun to listen to the pregnancy talk between RAD and Josse.  I could never run pregnant like they did.  They both were amazing.  It was fun to hang around at the start, run a warm up with cute Ericka and start the race with all 3 girls.  As we ran past Eden I said a little prayer for Eathan Stacy in my mind as I pondered how he'd buried and found there on the hillside just a few miles from where we were running.  So sad.  It was just too much to be there so close to where he had been and not remember him. We we ran easily and quietly together as we passed the still water Pineview Reservoir in the early dawn.  The sky was clear, the mountains still white with snow.  I saw a hawk flying gracefully over the runners going up those little getting to the top of the reservoir and made me think my Dad as it always does.  I so enjoy this course.  I was able to stay with Ericka & Josse up the hills, to the top of the reservoir but lost them when I was unable to drink and run simultaneously and I knew there was no way I'd ever catch Josse on the downhill, 5 months pregnant or not-- EVER. (8:50/8:51/8:10/8:14).  I missed about 3 miles of splits since my Garmin just decided to turn off/lose signal (?) and I never noticed until mile somewhere during mile 7.  I hate that thing sometimes (I even locked the bezel like Josse showed me :( So much of the downhill I just cleared my mind, listened to the river--but I had to stop (twice in 6 miles) to use the johns (8:31/8:19/8:28/7:56/8:46). I didn't do as much (ahem) prep work for this race and so paid the consequences.  None the less, the running was alright in spite of the pit stops.  I ended those last two miles with this guy pacing a woman (his wife?) and an older gentleman his late 60's.  The pacer was yelling, prodding and encouraging them, so I just pretended the pacer was for me finished with them 8:57/8:47  The whole thing was not as bad, as I thought it might be, post Boston (I still feel like I'm recovering).  I crossed the finish line by the clock 1:55.  I PR'd for the girl who'd given me her number (she said the fastest time she'd ever done was 2:04) so I hope she's pleased.  Josse &  Ericka cheered me and RAD in, and we went back to watch the first men Marathoners come in.  Standing on the road, the sun felt marvelous on my skin.  It was awesome to see the first men come in.  But the first guy was white, exhausted (even his lips were grey) but he had a huge lead.  After the first woman made it, I took off to run 2 miles up to meet Catherine.  I saw my friend Marisa finishing really strong behind MacKenzie and Amber (?).  I saw Crockett, and kept my eyes peeled for Cath.  When she came around the corner at mile 24, I could see she was not feeling the love and so I quietly took my place and paced her at an 8:50 finishing pace for the past 2 miles.  I talked to her quietly as we ran, telling her to dig deep and that she could do it. She actually grabbed my arm twice when she stopped last to drink.  I thought she was going down--but she was determined to cross the finish line to BQ. I was pacing her as fast as I thought she could handle. She just kept looking at her Garmin (which kept freaking me out).  As we approached the finish, she pulled ahead to hit a really good stride to cross the line. We got her across the finish line to BQ (just under at about 3:38).  RAD was there cheering us to the finish.  Cath was in such great shape for the race, and had thought she might 3:20.  She did really great early on keeping a few sub 7:00's early --maybe burned out a little too fast. But also said she hadn't done a good job eating, hydrating, or resting prior.  Also that she'd cramped and had stomach issues. But she BQ’d just the same!  Only trouble is, she almost collapsed at the finish and we had to spend about 40 minutes with the medics getting her salts & hydration back to normal.  She colored back up a bit, and by then we had to go because my Aunt was picking us up and I had to get home to cook a ton of Indian Food for a dinner party.  Fun, busy, wonderful day!  I've had more than my fair share lately.

Looked up my official time 1:53:21 (it's such a down hill course, I totally would have PR'd had I not used the privy so many times along the course).  Honestly, will I ever learn? I guess I just felt lucky to get in the race at all to keep myself occupied while I waited for Cath to finish the marathon.  I wasn't really taking it like a 'race' as much as a training run. Still, I've got to put my thinking cap on and get things done right one of these times.  That time, given the stops was a real surprize.   Today, I enjoyed the  luxury of running in the morning after the kids are gone to school.  I enjoyed a cool morning by the river still wide and deep from run off.  I ran an leisurely 9:34 ap and enjoyed saying hello to the other people out on this fine morning.  I felt chipper in my new blue running skirt. It has a pocket on the thigh and it's my favorite color blue. I love it. I was tired though. I had such a busy weekend after the Marathon on Saturday, I'm still pooped. I cooked up an Indian feast with real Indian ingredients from the new Bollywood grocery store on 180 North University.  If you've never crushed your own cardamom, you haven't lived.  I made Saag Paneer, Korma, basmati rice w/ fenugreek & cilantro, and Kier w/ pistachios & golden rasins.  It was all super delicious and was perfect with what everyone else brought (Garlic Naan, Tika Misala, Aloo Gobi, Samosa's, Mango Lassie, etc, etc).  Bombay House eat your heart out.  We made our own buffet. Sunday brought more East Coast out-of-towners to my house, but eventually I did get in a nap in the late afternoon. I sat in the fading sun out by the river to read, and the next thing I know I hear my kids laughing at the foot of my lounge chair, while my son says to his sister "go ahead, ask her something....she'll answer you back all crazy and garbeldey." I opened my eyes fully awake, and said "were you talking to me?" and he said "oh, just wanted you to wake up so you could sleep later tonight."  Cheeky monkey. 

I awoke to the rain softly tapping at the windows and the rooftop. The day was grey,and I just wanted to roll over sleep all day. When I took off, wearing my trusty cap and waterproof jacket, I was still tired. But once I got to the river, heard it rushing, breathed in the fresh, wet the air, smelled the lilacs blooming from afar, saw the world green and lush--even in that grey light and steady rain, I couldn't help but catch the spirit of the day. I had the rainy trail down to the lake by myself.  I recalled May 1st as Cath and I ran down the jetti in the rain, and pretended we lived in Seattle, and that Utah Lake was the Puget Sound.  On the way back, there were about 40 kids on the trail. After passing the whole group, which took about a quarter mile, I realized there were about 6 boys still running behind me--chasing/trying to keep up with me.  So looked at them, smiled, and turned it on --they kept up for a few seconds and then dropped out one by one after less than 200 feet.  Take that you 6th grade boys!  That's what you get for calling me "Lucille Balls" in 1979.

9:09/8:43/8:53/9:11/9:20/9:40  Lunchtime riverrun.  Feeling tired and fighting a cold.

I woke up with a bad sore throat, stuffy nose and headache. I don't think I have ever run that slowly in my life. I really might have just walked.  I started slow and thought I'd warm up, but my legs felt like socks filled with sand the whole way. On top of the flu/cold  I have to travel to DC now.  I completley forgot about this trip and had scheduled at least 3 important things this weekend.  My poor daugter-- has a pool party this weekend is now freaking out that I'm not going to be home.  She's really nervous about this dumb thing.  I think a pool party for jr. high school is about the cruelest thing you could ever do to a 13 year old girl or boy for that matter.  But she's determined to go anyway.  In the meantime, I've got to figure when and where to run 20 miles this weekend. It's always unnerving to try and pull off a long run in less familiar territory.  I think I may hit the Mt. Vernon Trail. 

Twice in the past 6 months I've flown on a plane next to someone who had a story for me.  The story starts with my certainty that I'm about to meet God because the plane has a 100% chance of breaking apart mid-air in the sky, and falling 35,000 feet to the ground in a firey mass.  So whoever is sitting next to me, not realizing they are about to meet their maker, begins innocently chatting out a tale of how they almost died because of a heart attack and how unafraid and grateful they are now because every extra day they have is a gift.  Most recently I sat next to a man, who for half of the 4 1/2 hour flight talked to me about his new governemnt job in Arlington VA, how he spent the weekend practicing getting around the city on the Metro with his 13 year old son (who was with him), and how many wonderful things there are to do in DC.  It wasn't until I watched the son move the father's (slack and non-muscular) legs out of the way so he could go to the bathroom, did I realize the man was parapalegic (he had been sitting down before I got on the plane).  So I've been thinking about the message spoken to me, and I think it is:  I need to be less afraid and just try live until I die.  Instead of doing what I'm doing now, which is being crippled by a certain amount of fear which is prevents me from true living.   I've been so careful, too cautious, because I never really had anyone looking out for me while I was growing up. Maybe now I'm old, and have less to future protect, I can relax a little.  Or maybe I just wish getting on a plane didn't feel like the death penalty, because I have a lot of flying to do this summer.

Let's just say I just crashed and burned the past 4 days.  Utah Valley Marathon, should it be undertaken or finished should be a real adventure.

I forgot-on-purpose to bring my Garmin.  I know I'm running slowly--I don't really need to know how slow.  My nose is still snotty and I can still feel my achilles tendon a bit in the beginning.  I hoped the rest in the past few days would ease it up, but from my experience with tendonitis (every major tendon I have, has had it at some time or another) it takes 6-10 months to heal (with or without rest).  I guess that's just me. It was hurting a little since before Boston from the hill repeats I did so frequently to train.  I should have taken those first two weeks after Boston slower.  It takes a lot of discipline to get that much training done, run a good race, and then bring it down a notch for 2-3 weeks just so you can start again with equal intensity. It's much easier to keep up the momentum--but then stuff starts falling apart (your immune system, your tendons, your energy level, etc).  Today--since it was overcast, I thought I'd run up Rock Canyon again, but as soon as I stepped out the door and felt how warm it was, I immediately changed my route to run to my favorite water fountain at the mouth of the Canyon.  I didn't bring a hand held water bottle with me today, and I was thirsty from about the second I left my office.  It was a nice easy run.  I stopped and stretched at the traffice lights, I drank at my fountain--washed my red, overheated face, ran slowly downhill, looked at trees, felt the breeze blowing up off the river.  It felt like 12 minute miles.  Thouroughly enjoyable. 

It finally felt like a morning in May--balmy, yet still cool.  The river is much lower now, they must have plugged up Deer Creek Dam already this year.  I was going pretty slowly at first, but then I started really thinking about a couple of business ideas, and a bunch of ideas for work.  I got very excited about it and ran home fast so I could get home and outline it.  Some of the best ideas I've had in a long time.  I credit 5 days of no running to increased brain activity and improved energy-- seriously.  I think I hit the wall back there.

5 miles 9:30 ap.

Leafy trees filled with yellow headed black birds chriping a chorus, tiny orangefinches hiding and hopping in the branches, the smell of fresh cut grass, hard pregnant fat rose hips on the verge of bursting with ludicrous gawdy bloom, 20 baby calves standing wobbly legged and glassy eyed in the fields, clear blue skies as far as the horizon, fresh, cool air blowing up from the rushing river, and snowy mountains shouldering the entire valley.  There are a few weeks in May and October that light my fire and make life worth living.   I live and breath waiting 364 days a year, for just one like today.  Or maybe I'm just really, really happy not to be on an airplane this weekend.

Luckily, I had lots of good company today. Cause if I didn't, I might have skipped a whole 'nother weekend. Ran the first 8 miles with Ericka, 6 more together with Cath, and then 5 more w/ just Cath. By the end I was literally wretching I was so tired.  That's never happened before. In retropect, the trip to DC was stressful. It's been a very transformative week in general.  When my brain works too hard it sucks the life out of me.  It will be an interesting experience to do these two marathons so close to each other.  Particularly since my long run was 2 weeks out instead of 3.  I don't know if doing it this way is better or worse than skipping it all together and winging it the day of UVM.  I guess it's an experiement in running.  I can't bear the thought of bombing Utah Valley again, but I have made a pact that I will enjoy it, which for me means, chatting, looking at the scenery, crossing the finish with my kids & their friends.  I really did have a fun experience last year.  I want a repeat.  But that means I have to swallow my pride and run easy.  Preserving my body is more important that having a good race time right now.  So glad to at least the big one under my belt so I can enjoy the rest of my weekend.....starting right now.

There is nothing I love more to do while on vacation than run.  I run easy, I run faster, I run long.  I don't know what happned Saturday Morning (besides pushing a 21 miler exhausted) but today was specatuclar and easy-breezy (well, I did pretty good Saturday up till 15). So today, I remembered all my best dead people and made some of the foods they loved. Happy Memorial Day!  It was a great weekend. 

I am going to miss my baby toenail.  It was bruised after Boston and it hurt. I was pretty sure it was going to fall off.  But then it never did. And so finally, with the onset of sandal weather, I  celebrated by getting a pedicure. But when the girl was cutting and filing my toenail, it fell halfway off, hanging onto just one side of my toe.  Surprized, she looked up at me appologetically like it was her fault.  Now what am I supposed to do?  Tear it the rest of the way off and paint four nails?  Paint a pretened nail in the space my nail used to be?  I had her paint it and leave it on, but it's only halfway attached.

Besides a warm up and cool down mile, I ran 100 Yard strides once a mile for 4 miles while my daughter rode her bike along with me.  She's a big soccer star now and wants to learn to run and do sprints/explosives to be better conditioned for next fall. She's got a big team try-out tomorrow.  It was nice to think I could have my daughter running with me sometimes.  What a beautiful day!  I love the post-rain air and the green so lush it shines in the morning sun.  Whenever it feels like this, I close my eyes and make-believe I'm on the East coast. 

It was cloudy and cool, so I got up late.  Ran down the trail, bridgemakers be darned, I wantonly trespassed. I am sick of them on my trail.  There is still a lot of humidity from the rain earlier in the week.  Felt great on my skin.  Everyone on the trail was happy today, especially the guy with the 3 legged collie who I had to stop and pet.  So cute, hobbleing along on his 3 legs.  I love animals, they just keep on-keeping-on.  No memories, no regrets, just moving forward however that can be accomplished--happy to be on the leash, happy to be outside. Later in the Day my friends Nancy & Jim, here from Colorado for the Squaw Peak 50 Miler, took me to where I will walk up Big springs 4 miles to Aid station 9 to meet Jim tommorrow.  I'm a little nervous.  I will have to hike 4 miles by myself along a trail I am not familiar with, and then run 10 miles down with Jim who will most likely be delirious.  I asked him what he wanted me to do should he be delirious or hammered beyond capacity.  He said I was welcome to carry him on my back the rest of the way down the mountain. Hilarious.  I should have told him I'd smear his face with bacon grease and just leave him to the mountain lions.  I'm actually looking more forward to tommorrow's trail running than UVM next Saturday.

I am at a loss abot how to blog about today.  I thought 12 m/m on a trail would be a step down from trying to run distance alone and all I can say is Marathon running is child's play compared to bushwacking.  Holy effing frick-n-frack.  Seriously.  K, first of all, I ran a mile up the wrong hill, and the young man who instructed me to do so, ran all the way after me to let me know I had gone the wrong way.  Nice save....I would have run 4 extra miles up hill and I would have been eaten by mountain lions.  He felt so guilty about misdirecting me he offered to go with me to aid station 9 about 7 miles from the bottom.  I want to say, it was the most beautiful, amazing back woods, Wasatch Mountain magesty, but truly what I want to report is HOLY HECK, how in the world do they do that for FIFTY, count 'em FIFTY FREAKING miles.  I want to cry right now just thinking about how hard  my 17 was.  On the way up, ran into Davy Crockett who was heading down in about 15th place.  He looked totally nonplussed.  Oh Hi! Luzy Lew, 46 miles over knee deep snow and 45 degree incline, 6,800 foot altitude--no big deal. Sure. I was fine for the moment once I got to the aid station after climbing through mud and snow for over a mile and a half.  I did not even notice the multiple scraps and mud caked onto my lower legs, or worry about my wet muddy shoes and socks.  My new friend Matt had run up the whole mountain without water, I noticed when we arrived.  So I shared mine with him.  He was such a sweetheart and did what he could to protect me from slding down the rocky cliffs and  just be there when the three homeless guys came out of the bushes. Seriously, if Matt hand't come with me, I wouldn't have made it all the way up to the aid statin (a), and (b) I would have been all alone in a scary back mountain 5 miles from freaking anywhere.  I would have been lost out there at least 4 times.  Bless young, handsome Matt and his Great Harvest bread making, Unviersity Psychology studying, from a hog farming from Missouri little self. Were it not for him, I would be strapped to a tree by three sunburned homeless guys wondering how I got way out there in the mountains by myself. The run down was rough.  I slid down that snow and mud and almost tripped myself off a cliff at least a hundred times.  I wanted to cry and only kept thinking of Jim ahead of me who had run over 40 miles.  Since I was 'the pacer' I had to be all strong right?  I was the 'fresh' one.  Mother of all that is holy, coming down that mountain started to make me think of that guy Aaron whats-his-name who cut off his own hand when it was pinned under a rock for 3 days.  It's not like you can even DNF that race.  Whose gonna come get you?  You still have to go down the mountain on your own two legs, even if you're not running anymore.  It was the scariest thing I think I've ever put myself up to and it makes Marathon running look like eating an ice cream sundae in a fancy ice cream parlour.  Jim's wife Nancy met us at the last aid station and paced us to the bottom.  I was 100% out of gas.  I thought this was going to be an easy, slow down hill run.  I ran 21 last Saturday and was not expecting the challenge that I faced today.  Once we finished I dove into the fishing pond  at Vivian with my Blackberry still in my back pocket.  I was so tired and filty from the trail I didn't  even care.  We said goodbye to my dear friends Jim & Nancy and took off.  I have NEVER, in all of my life wanted to get into the bathtub more than I wanted to today.  I can't believe I didn't die today, in so many ways.  Whoa. Who knew Squaw Peak 50 miles actually translates to like 100 regular road miles.  Man, I am a BABY, a tiny poppy diapered whiny baby compared to those guys.  Wow.

When I told Josse how thrashed my legs were yesterday, she said "you used different muscles trail running, so you should be fine by Saturday" (Utah Valley Marathon).  Ha! But I took that thought to heart as I eeked my way down the stairs today.  Yesterday Sasha and Sarah dropped by to say hi and when I told Sasha how much I hurt and where, he pointed to hipflexors.  So I tried to massage and stretch my hipflexors (which felt like hard rope), glutes, and IT band.  WOW is all I can say.  I may have used 'different' muscles getting up and down that mountain, but I am SORE--mostly those hips, IT band and the outside of my quads and lower, inner quad above my knees.   So when I got to the trail, I gingerly tried running and hobbled for about 100 feet.  It took .4 miles to warm up.  When I stopped to say hi to Marsha about 2 miles in,  I could hardley get going again once I'd stopped.  I am toast man, and I'm still in shock over how hard and scary running up and down a mountain is.  I made up like 7 new swear words that day.

Not bringing my Garmin.  Its not worth the reality check right now.  What can be done at this point?  I am loving the weather right now though.  All this rain and moisture in the air is making the trail fragrant and lush. 

Ran with Marsha this morning. She asked me to go 'slower'.  I'll take that as a good sign.  It was the first morning since Saturday that my feet and leg's didn't smart the second they hit the floor when I got out of bed. So I'm a little less sore.  The rest of the day I had to attend this motivational seminar where I saw Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Zig Zigler, Apollo Ohno, Sarah Palin and others.  We could not leave the premises for food so I'm going to count the pretzel, hot dog, and potato chips as 'carb loading'.  It was REALLY cool though, to hear Apollo Ohno talk about preparing for the olympics.  Really inspiring. 

We just learned of a terrible assault, rape, and near murder of a 19 year old student on the Provo Rivertrail by Branbury apartments.  They left her in the bushes for dead to the side of the trail. She is too non coherent to describe her assailant other than 'he had a tatoo'.   She was walking, as if going to BYU on a farily frecuented part of the trail. I'm the one always prepared for weirdness like that, but I'm stunned however, it happened--during the early afternoon--so near where there are hundreds of students who use the trail almost daily.  They said she will recover from the attack, but the bones in her face are badly fractured.   Makes me want to vigilante the trail packing heat. It makes me more furious than scared. 

No running.  Normally I throw in 2 miles the day before a marathon, but I've had so many hard core weekends in a row, I really did not get a healthy taper.  So many variables have left me without knowing how tomorrow will go. And what about that rain?  Really?  In 11 years, it has never rained on or near June 11th (I know because it's my son's birthday and we always do outdoor --stay out by the pool with that drink--kind of parties).  Anyway, in one way it's liberating just to have a totally unknown adventure lay before me tomorrow.  Catherine and I are both looking forward to seeing what a 5 hour marathon feels like.  We may have a picnic or stop for lunch on University Ave. before hitting the finish line....The 100% chance of rain should up the excitement factor.  It's nice to not have a lot vested in this race--just camaraderie and adventure.  Looking forward to seeing everyone.

Not sure on the official chip time yet.  Didn't care to look it up after the race since I was working hard to keep from hurling. There was no way I could have done better than I did. I did everything wrong there was to do between Boston and today.  I took days off when I needed to be doing 20's, I ran  low weekday miles and then torqued out the high miles three Saturdays in a row before the race, I didn't eat right, and I didn't taper.  I was pooped out to begin with and went into today knowing it was going to be a rough ride.  Also, because I really had nothing at stake in today's race, I didn't pump myself up sufficiently and ran on pure force of will, without the aid of any adreleline or excitement.  Catherine was determined to have an 'easy race' and to stay with me.  She wanted to see me through it in exchange for my 'helping her' BQ at Ogden by helping pace her the last 2 miles of her marathon.  Well, she paid me back allright, only sevenfold.  We enjoyed getting up on the busses, we were relaxed and we joked and chatted with other runners we met.  I ran into Marisa and chatted along until we made it to the STart. It was dark and raining while we waited.  Once the race started at 5:43 we took our sweet time crossing the start.  I was in love with the wide green valley there, the horses galloping around upset by the long 'stampeded of humans', the low dark clouds--even the rain.  I loved the rain dripping off my hat in rivulets, I loved how intensely green the mountains were, I was amazed by the flowers and the mist.  No one could have possibly reveled in being outside in that perfect cool running weather than I did.  I didn't even mind the rain and the soaked shoes and socks.  Interrupting the serenity of this running revelry was my very, very upset stomach and my dead-weight legs.  I had to stop 4 different times to use the bathrooms.  I started going from 8:30's to 10:00's by mile 10.  I picked off one mile at a time and did my best to just keep on going.  I had a secret plan to send Catherine on ahead, call someone to come get me around mile 20 and then drive to the finish to see Catherine finish.  She was so strong, and enjoying her 'slow' marathon, she just kept at it, encouraging me every step and letting me know we were going to do it.  I felt terrible for that.  I can be miserable and slow all by myself.  I never told her, that since about midweek, with how sore my legs had been from the Squaw Peak 50, I truly doubted that I would be able to finish.  When I admitted this at mile 23 she said "What?  You've been bluffing this whole time?".  I responded that 12 minute miles wasn't exactly 'bluffing'.  I actually took advil at mile 15 and then again at 21.  I rarely do that, and it probably added to my stomach issues (not to mentione pending kidney failure....).  Around mile 24, I saw Kelli running backwards, and to my surprize she joined us and offered to run me in.  I warned her she was joining my train wreck, but she was easy.  Kelli and Cath got me to the end, distracting me and encouraging me to get going a little faster for the end.  I just really wanted to finish and get it done, but truly didn't have the energy or the kick to finish with any pride.  I am looking forward to getting myself back in order.  I've felt put out and slightly obligated to run UVR--and I wanted to have more fun.  YOu'd think that a four-and-a-half marathon would be fun and easy breezy.  It made me appreciate how well I'd prepared for SG'09 and Boston '10.  When I run a sub 4, it is not an accident.  It takes an incredible about of preparation and focus--neither of which I have excersized since April.  It will be nice to get my weekday miles and good eating under control before I start even thinking about another race.  I still can't get over how beautiful the course was.  So fresh, so green.  I venture to say it's the prettiest course in Utah (now they changed the course to take you higher up the canyon).  I'm glad I did it, glad I finished, glad to give Catherine a reason to take it easy and support a friend.  It was humbling to be supported when I was feeling so weak, and unworthy.  I guess that's what friends do.

8:40/8:50/8:27/9:10

I posted my splits because I invited my daughter to run with me.  She's getting serious about soccer and I've been teaching her what I understand about conditioning/interval running/aerobic capacity, etc.  First she was reluctant/lazy to go. She wants to do the work, but she lacks the self-motivation as of yet.  Anyway, we got out there and I can tell that she's out to punish me; mad I'm making her run, and wanting to show me she's a faster runner.  She taunts me with the 7:34 mile she ran to earn her Presidental Physical Fitness Award.  She tooled through the splits on my Garmin from the Marathon on Saturday and said "you ran a bunch of nine-and- a- half  and ten minute miles?  I could do better than that" and so forth.  Of that I have no doubt, but for the first time in my life--she lit a small competative fire in my heart because I wasn't about to let a novice 13 year old runner show up her mommy on the second or third round.  So I kept her pace and told her what I know about form (head up, soft hands/elbows back-midline, midsole strike).  After talking to her about 100 yard sprint repeats and Yasso's and Fartleking she watned to sprint.  So I gave her a 400 yard measure and cut her loose.  In the end she was really happy she came-- and I was suprized how easy it was to run with her (and how NOT sore I am after running a marathon on Saturday).  I will NEVER get over the 17 miles I ran at the Squaw Peak 50.  That was the hardest thing I have ever done to date besides qualify for Boston.  But it was fun to be with my girl.  I'm proud of her.  She's a good girl.

Ran in the afternoon. The sky was filled with huge white thunderheads in the distance and cotton from the cottonwoods floated through the golden air of late day. There were a lot of fisherman standing quietly in the river casting their lines. I ran to see the lake, and turned around as the sky started to go grey. I ran back thinking of my son at camp, wondering if he'll remember where he packed his rain slicker and if he misses his Mama.

My legs were tired.  More tired than Monday or Tuesday, which is weird. Shouldn't I have been more tired Monday or Tuesday following a marathon on Saturday?  Whatever, I am so tired of trying to figure out why my legs feel so dead all the time (exhaustion? Iron? lack of training? over training?).  Also, this thing with my knee started last week when I jumped over a snake (somewhat involuntarily) on the trail, and I landed weird.  My knee hurt after that and today it hurt the worst.  I iced it a bunch of times since then, but it still hurts a little.  Also, my achilles (just above my achilles tendon) is sore.  I feel like complaining, it's the wind and the rain. 

The sky was so clear, and the air is crisp and clean. They say we'll see a rise in temps by 20 degrees.  So long spring.  All of my roses are now in full bloom. That always makes me happy.  I love how much color can come from one rose bush.  I plant the yellow ones next to salmon colored juipiter beard, I planted the white ones next to purple salvia, I planted the red ones next to red sweet william and lavender.  I love the contrasting colors.  These  blooms are only fresh for about a week each year--this is the week.  One of my favorite roses is called fragrant cloud.  Most roses are so hybrid-ed they no longer smell like roses. Fragrant cloud has not been genetically modified a million times, and so still has that intense rose smell.  I could smell it all day long. I hate going to work on days like today.  I just wish I could be running all morning and working in the yard all afternoon. 

I am loving this latent spring chill.  It's so good for a.m. running.  I am also in a really good mood because there is now access (although still illegal) through the new tunnel so I don't have to bypass my trail by going half a mile thorugh the neighborhood.  The chill in the air reminded me of a business conference I took about 10 years ago to Mt. Hood Oregon.  Whenever there is a certain moist chill in the spring and summer it reminds me of that place.  I'd only brung regular summer weather running gear with me and by the time I was done with 5 miles, my hands were frozen into claws and I couldn't pick the rasberries along the road.  There was a river, like mine, only the whole way was blackberry and rasberry bushes and the sight of Mt. Hood in the distance.  I love my rivertrail though.  I never get tired of it. I feel like the river and the fields are just for me.

Josse and Catherine came and we ran the trail down to the jetti. We saw the Triatholon start down at the lake, and ran back.  It was such a beautiful, clear, sunny day.  The cool blue sky reminded me of the day I brought my son home from the hospital 11 years ago this month.  Josse's cute pregnant belly made me think of it too.  I loved listening to Cath and Jos talk as we ran along.  I always learn something new when Josse shows up.  We ran a little over 6 with  Josse, and then Cath and I ran a few more, then I my daughter asked if she could go with me a couple more.  Still I was done by 9:30 and headed to the Farmer's market before it was too hot.  I love the farmer's market.  Coolest thing in Provo.

I'm compensating slow running with more miles. Also I've been splitting up the running, like 6 in the early morning, and 2 in the evening.  I love getting to be outside twice a day and having an excuse to run 2 'slower' miles with kids.

Ran into my neighbor on the trail this morning. She's been away for two weeks starring in a play up in Salt Lake.  The play is about one of the first black Mormon women "I Am Jane"  (about Jane Manning).  We had a really intense conversation about racism, American history, chuch history, Mormonism and feminists. I love that she's back. I missed her. She always tells me her truth, and can handle it when I tell her mine. Then I ran the rest of my miles and marvled at how precious and perfect my trail is on this second official day of summer.  I  say this all the time, I NEVER get tired of the river.  Just last Saturday, Cath said to me "Do you even KNOW how amazing it is that you have the river and this running trail right behind your house?" I told her that if she read my blog she'd know how I feel about the trail behind my house.  It's my portal to becoming one with the Universe.  So yeah, I know how lucky I am.

 My son begrudingly rode his bike along with me. He was in a hurry to get back and play with friends and so kept speeding up the bike and telling me to lift my knees and go faster (it's bad for your shoes Mama, you'll wear them out going that slow, you're dragging your feet).  Thanks for the company son, I love you too.

I had to run afterwork today and I literally thought I would die.  My legs were so beat, and it was so hot.  Not even the tall creepy guy, walking with hunched shoulders, hands in pockets, wearing beige coveralls (in 97 degree heat) and a baseball cap who looked at me with his chin down so as not to appear he was looking at me could creep me out enough to get going any faster. 

Cath & me doing our regular Saturday thing.  We ran up to the other side of town and back down.  We were both super tired, legs dead.  It's always nice though to run with a friend-- we both needed the road therapy.

Ran with Marsha this morning.  It was a really pretty morning. She told me about running Ragnar.  She wasn't very prepared, but  had a good time running with her brothers and brother's in law.  In between her second and third relay points, she had to drive from Logan to Salt Lake to attend her graduation.  She' s done now with her MPA.  She says it's my turn next.  I keep gearing up to take my GRE course, but keep taking illustrator and Excel courses instead.  It was a gorgeous, cool morning.

Chile :(  They put up a good game against Spain, but I knew they'd totally lose against Brazil.  I couldn't bring myself to watch and had to follow the stats from my desk at work using espn's game stats.  They scored one offsides goal--which I am so glad I didn't see.  That always kills me to see the thing go into the goal, only to realize it's offsides.  Killer. My friend living in Austin called this morning and I ran using my headset while we caught up.  I think I'm going to try to reduce my mileage this week to see if I can catch my breath.  I have not been obeying the 3 hard work  to 1 resting week ratio since about february.  I took a few days off in May, which was good--but went right back to 40+, even the weeks after the marathons.  Also I usually go for kale/spinich and red meat for iron,  but I need to look for a suppliment I can stomach.  I'd like to see if I've been anemic the past few months or just tired.  I think most of it has to do with work though. 

I'm dragging out 9:45's and when I look down at my Garmin, I'm shocked because the effort feels extraordinary.  I'm going for some Iron tonight. See if that helps. Talked my daughter and son into doing the Freedom 5K. They are actually pretty excited. Should be interesting.  This week is my high school's 25th reunion.  Everyone I love is in town.  It's going to be such a fun weekend, starting tomorrow.

I took my Iron...and of course the lady at the health food store talked me into a homeopathic thyroid thinger.  Whatever, we'll see what happens.  At least this morning I didn't feel like death, per usual.  Still struggleing to maintain 9-9:30's. I found three recently hatched blue robin eggs on the trail and stuck them in my pocket to bring home and show my kids.  I don't know why I still do that, they think it's gross.  Also, two snakes on the trail.  Reminded me of the time that parakeet attacked me (I thought I was 'saving' it and it bit me).  After I ran, got hooked up to go w/ Josse and Ericka and mark the course for the RED HOT PINK CHICKS half saturday next.  We rock.  It's going to be fun!!!!!