Patience; the new endurance sport.

I just noticed I've been recording mileage under the wrong shoe.  When there is snow and ice on the trail, I use my brooks trail shoe for better stability.  It's a new year today for sure.  Ready to turn a whole new leaf in 2009.  I'm thinking moderation in all things is my new year's resolution.

The trail is crunchy with a newly frozen layer of snow.  The river is so black in contrast to the white snow banks, and the surface is a broad glossy sheen from running so deep.  I do love the winter running. And, nothing, I mean nothing is quite as refreshing as pulling your pants down in icy sub-freezing winds for a VPB pit stop :)  Men are so lucky, anatomically speaking.  Regardless, I adore running this this time of year, no races to train for, just me and the frigid silence of winter.  I always feel like a hero for running in sub-freezing temps.  But then I think of the surfers in the NE, surfing during snow and ice storms.  Then I look down to the tracks in the fresh snow below my feet, and realize at least 3 others hero runners got there some hours or minutes before me. 

Here's something you don't see everyday, much less a Sunday afternoon.  The snowy trail is silent, you've seen no one for 2 miles, when suddently from around the bend comes a 14-15 year old kid on a unicycle.  He was solemn and determined and passed me both coming and going.   I wondered if he was running away to the circus.

I cut the work out short due to the 1.5 hours I spent shoveling the driveway.  My upper arms and back ache!  Two days in a row shoveling 5 or more inches off the driveway and sidewalks. If I could just get a second away during the day to ski on it instead of just haveing to shovel it off my driveway I wouldn't be so mad.  But after all that hard work with the snow shovel, I realized that I really should live on a farm.  I'm much better cut out for manual labor than anything else. Today my friend Jim and I had an ongoing disucssion about PT vs. Cortisone.  I'll need to start running in earnest at the end of the month to get myself in gear for Moab --but my hip still bothers me.  So he's suggested better core work (remember, the problem with the hip started with my lower back which caused me to ruin my hamstring, which then ruined my hip.)  Core work....he's right. He sent me this link:  http://www.beginnertriathlete.com/cms/Article-detail.asp?Articleid=486 and also the 100 push ups program: http://www.hundredpushups.com/  So, in addition to the stretching, I may be working on 100 push ups, and core.  Certainly couldn't hurt my hip any more--Althought, I'm not convinced I should keep avoiding the cortisone or the MRI.  It could be scar tissue to blame and I really didn't go through the whole process....I'm sick of doctors for this year.  I'll give PT one more round this week and next before I do the cortisone though.

Oh the treadmill at 6:00 a.m.  Yuck.  Is there anything worse when there are no exciting movies to watch?  I've been rationing Alias because I guess they only made 3 seasons and I only have a few more till the end (thank you Catherine!). I've ordered every James Bond movie ever made from Netflix and should have them soon.  I'd even maybe watch Vin Diesel at this point.  Or maybe I'll just go back and watch all 3 seasons of Arrested Development.  Anything to keep me awake on that freaking treadmill.  These mornings have been harsh.  Is there anything worse than running indoors?  Oh yeah, running at the gym while breathing everyone elses sweat and chlorine vapor. 

The hip, it's the hip again.  It's so slippery on the trail, I realize I'm not practicing the gait I was taught in PT.  It's all I can do to keep from slipping on the ice.  So on the treadmill, my focus is to retrain that gait with the good torque.  Boring.  I'm suplimenting the running with cross training at Sundance....:)

You can visit a place like Concord Mass and contemplate why it is the fecund birthplace of Thoreau, Emerson, Alcott, and Hawthorne. I'm always in awe, that some of our finest writers, minds sprung from the wooded areas around Concord. While I am on the Provo Rivertrail, I often find myself contemplating Walden Pond and how a place can be so filled with energy and inspiration to give birth to ideas and life-changing realizations, developments and philosophies. I have the great privilege of feeling a certain ownership of our Rivertrail. I've often commented that it is my own Walden Pond. I have been using the Rivertrail since 1991. I have seen every season repeatedly pass. But with each passing season I forget the splendor and the beauty of seasons before. I forget the inspiration it brings, until it sweeps through my mind, cleaning out dead ideas, like dry leaves from a tree, with a crisp January breeze blowing across the soft fields of snow. It is on Rivertrail I can most often find joy in the moment, allow it to occupy every cell of my body. It is here, I commune with loved ones passed on, understand the circle of life, take inventory of my life, commit myself to doing better, acknowledge the "cancer" in my daily living that must be cut away. Today each branch of each tree and shrub was covered in a thick layer of ice, giving a thick whiteness to every branch. Then, snowflakes crystalized and stuck to the icy fingered branches. In the sunlight, these crystals shone like millions of diamonds. Looking past the sparkling white branches across the sparkling white fields, I realized how often we believe we can shape nature when we are truly subject to and powerless to her will and beauty. I used to think I could change things, make history, save the world with my work. I realize now after being beaten down again and again, that I am not in charge of the Universe. If I can just learn to see the beauty in accepting what is; like the sparkling crystals on the tree branches in winter, rather than always hoping for some eternal Summer.

I know we are not supposed to be running in the smog. But Sat/Sun are my only days I can run outside in the daylight.

Treadmill running. See how moderate I'm doing now.  3-5 miles, and lots of stretching, core work, and sit ups, and push ups. 

Sweating rivulets on the treadmill. Boring as hell.

Every day I think I might get away to ski a few hours and I just can't.  Besides I'll be the snow is as hard and icy as on my driveway, now it's never going to snow again this winter. That's ok, I have not time to get out there anyway.

I'm just not alive until I have a really good outside run.  The air quality is so terrible, I actually felt like I was coming down with a cold when I came home (tightness in my breathing).  When will this crappy inversion end.?

I love running on Sundays.  It is so serene and quiet out there.  I"m not running as hard or fast, or trying very much--so it feels declicious.  That, plus, I want to see that kid on his unicycle again.  What was that kid doing, riding that unicycle down the trail, on a Sunday afternoon, in the snow.  Makes me wonder what else I've been missing on the trail on Sundays.

In the fall I took about 200 picutures of the trail where I run.  I took the camera with me today in the morning, just around 9:30 a.m.  The moisture on the branches had again formed crystals.  It was a winter wonderland.  Blue sky, white glittering tree branches, fields of soft snow. There must have been 10 other people out there with cameras.  The scenery along the river was breathtaking.  I wish I could post the pictures here.  I took about 266 more of the trail in winter, all covered with snowy crystals.  But man it was cold to stop and shoot pictures every few meters.  My fingers froze.  But what a gorgeous morning.  I've never seen anything like how every branch of every tree grew snow.  My pictures have given me quite a bit of pleasure since yesterday.  I'm so glad I have them.  Just 2 more seasons to go.  I plan on taking the same pictures from the same spots in every season.  I have one like that, that I've taken of Mt. Timanogos.  But this will be like taking a walk on the trail in every season of the year....like a slideshow.  They can bring it to me when I'm in the hospital having hip replacement surgery in 10 years.

I ran on the treadmill and watched the inauguration before I had to go to work.  My mother's family was from the South and in my opinion the most terribly racist people I know.  My mother grew up with sharecropper families skirting her father's property in S.C. She wrote a story once about how her little neighbor friend stopped going to school in the 3rd grade because her family needed her home to work the farm. My mother was told by her father that she could no longer be friends with that girl, and when my mother asked why, she told she was too old to have a 'nigger' for a playmate.  Her father told me when I was 19 that if I got married he'd give me a $100 bill, but that if I married a black man I could expect to never see the family again.  I have no idea how people get to be so mean and closed off to other humans.  I know, had my mother been alive today, regardless of political affiliation, she would have been happy to see the civil rights movement she was a part of in the 60's come full circle.  I was moved by President Obama's speech, his gratitude of those who have fought for and died for this country, made sacrifices, worked hard to make this country great.  Time will be the judge of whether or not his deeds are bigger than his words.  But it was something I'll never forget to have witnessed a moment significant in history for myself.

Treadmill, stretching, core, push ups. Yawn.

Inside, on the treadmill. The air quality is so bad; my lungs feel scratchy and tight like I have a cold.  I've avoided running outside now the air is this mucky.  It reminds me of how bad the air was in Riverside CA in the 1970's before CA implemented emissions standards (although it's still pretty bad). I used to spend summers with my grandma there, and my eyes would itch and my lungs would be so tight after swimming or playing outside.  When my Dad was a kid growing up in Riverside, in the winter they would drive up to Big Bear Lake in the mountains on the weekends just to let the kids breath clean air.  In those days people burned wood to stay warm and the smoke and muck would sit in the valley locked in by the San Bernardino Mountains.....what's our excuse now? I can not believe that in every single city in America, the air quality is BETTER than it was 20 years ago---in every city EXCEPT Salt Lake.  This is the worst air I've ever seen since 1979 in Riverside. Maybe I should just move back there.  Utah is getting just as crowded, and polluted, that plus kids are carrying guns and shooting each other here too - so much for all my 'clean living' arguments for staying here Utah.

It was totally foggy and rainy outside.  Felt just like San Diego in the winter.  All the rain has washed away the snow.  But at least it cleared the air?  Right? I had a weird run-in with a guy 'walking' his rotwiler/husky mix and golden retreiver.  He was riding in his truck with his elbow out of his window while he 'ran' his two dogs down Center Street and then around Boat Harbor Drive. On Boat Harbor Drive the rotwiler came running toward me growling, so I stuck out my foot like I was going to kick the dog in the head, and I yelled at the guy in the truck to call his dog away--to which he replied "Oh, she's ok, she's no problem."  Then when my dog came up from behind me, that rotweiler went after her, pinned her down to the ground and was ripping at her neck, so I kicked his rotweiler in the head and sprayed her face with mace.  I yelled again to the guy to call off his dog.  He then got out of his truck and started walking toward me, and it occurred to me breifely that he wasn't headed toward the dogs.  So I ran right past him, leaving my dog to be attacked by his dog until she finally got away and came after me.  I turned around and saw him grabbing his dog by the fur and tossing it into the back of his truck before he drove away.  I had a dream once a dog attacked my dog.  But it was years ago when I actually had a different dog.  It was a bizzare incident.  So if you see an early 1990's model teal green/brown stripped short bed ford pick up (rusty) out on the trail. Watch it. His dogs are mean.

Treadmill.

treadmill.

treadmill.

Ran all the way to the Lake.  It was so refreshing to be outside after all these days on the treadmill.  The only trouble is that it hurts my hip-- right on the outside.  I must not be doing my ham stretches consistantly.  I've got to do that better.  Nice to have some fresh air!

I've been trading some running days for stationary bike, and skiing.  The stationary bike really works up a good sweat, but it's just not the same.  The skiing gives me a nice sence of being outside, but doesn't provide one long cardio session.  I am getting more and more out of shape.  If you would have told me last Septeber that little pain in my back would lead to this ongoing thing in my Hip, I would not have believed how long it could go on.  I'm still in denial over this injury, and what's worse is that I am cross training and even skipping some days in favor of stretching.  Then I get sick of it and run days in a row, only to end up with that pain in the hip again.  Maybe it will be like my elbow where it will eventualy go away on it's own (that took 6-9 months). 

treadmill.

Shoes hardly seem to matter when the running is slow.  In Summer I felt like I needed new shoes like every 300 miles--now it hardly matters.  Then again, my back/ham/hip was breaking down during that time so maybe I did need new shoes all the time.  I keep pulling the typical weekend warrior routine on Saturdays/Sundays (running further and faster because I have more time) but then I pay for it the rest of the week.  I run for sanity, but pay for it with my hip.  I am trying to decide how I'm going to handle getting ready for Moab.  Even if I went in for the MRI to see if all that scar tissue from last year is to blame for my pelvic ligaments -- what will they do? I'd still have to do all this aggressive stretching and moderation.  With the mornings getting a little bit lighter, it has me wanting to run further distances. I have made a nice  routine of moderation using the stationary bike, and counting anything physical as excrsize (skiing, walking, push ups/sit ups, etc).  The thing about using running as a coping mechanism is, that once the hard kind of running that used to keep you sane is not possible-- the crazy comes out.  Where do you put all that crazy without the hard kind of running?

I loved the weather today; The freshly rained on wet pavement, the black glossy river water.  The air so filled with moisture. It feels like a Southern California winter today-- the right temp and everything.  I know it will snow again (for which I'm happy to allow for a few more ski days), but the the warm is finally breaking up the frozen tundra.  The air is so filled with moisture, and feels so clean going into my lungs.  I feel like I'm being washed from the inside.  Yesterday, it was much colder. So what appeared to be a shallow puddle or 'wet' pavement was actually black ice.  I  ice skated, arms flailing in slow motion, quite  few times yesterday.  But today, it was actually warm enough to be wet. What a beautiful rainy afternoon. I loved breathing the washed air.

Stared running with Sarah again this morning.  I haven't seen her since October (when William came).  She's getting back into the swing, and I'm limping along.  Nice to have company on the dark trail.  When we started, it was snowing pretty good.  There was about an inch of it on the trail--but I forgot about the ice underneath (rember the ice skating on Saturday?  yeah, well I didn't). We were going along, about a mile in, when suddenly I found myself  inexplicably on my back.  I wasn't hurt -- but incredulous that I was on the ground.  I lay there for a second and said out loud "I actually fell down" to which Sarah replied "yes, you actually did."  Nothing was hurt, but I can't remember falling it happened so fast.  I guess that's good.  Maybe falling will pop my hip and lower back into place.....wishful thinking.  If I could just stretch a few of those tendons way in there then I'd be good.  It was  so refreshing to be outside in the predawn.  It's been a while.  I came back and did another 2 on the treadmill since I have to do my stretches warmed up (got cooled down getting everyone off to school).  It will be nice to get into something regular again.  

Hey!  If you want to:

a) get pregnant by accident or design

b) develop graves disease, hypo/hyperthiroid or some other thiroid disorder

c) have a post partum breakdown

d)suffer a life changing injury

Then I'm looking for you!  Apparently I am the vampire of the running world. For if you choose to run with me on dark mornings, alone on the trail, one of the aforementined items will surely occur.  Just to warn you.

treadmill/alias/sit ups/push ups blah blah blah--althought I noticed how sore my hip was again--but this time in a different place, I could feel it when I was doing crunches.  But it felt swollen/padded.  So I went to look at it in the mirror when I was done and noticed I have a huge bruise where I fell on the ice.....It didn't hurt at all when I fell.

An hour on the stationary bike/situps/60 push ups.  There is no way I could ever work to 100.  Jim is a liar.  There is no way. 

What is more lovely than to be the first footprints on fresh snow in the morning?  That soft crunch underfoot, the muffled quiet of the insulated air, cleansed and beautified by a downy white quilt laid upon the earth.  It snowed lightly the whole run.  I ran in awe of the world's camofloged flaws made soft and forgiving by the snow. I stood at the very end, end of the trail and looked over the frozen lake and listened to the breeze blow through the dry reeds.  My footprints (and the dogs) were the only ones out on that lonely winter tundra.  It fills me up to overflowing to partake of the world by myself in this way.  I ran 8 miles today, which I have not done since summer.  I'll do 7 next saturday and then 9 the week after that working toward 13.  I've got to start shorter faster weekday training runs and taking either Fridays or Mondays off.  Time to get in gear for Moab....six weeks and counting.  What luck to have this extra bit of winter beauty, just in time for a long weekend at home with the kids.

Today's run was brought to you by ICE.  I don't mind the stuff that packs down. That's like running on cork board.  It's the rest of it.  The slushy footprints that freeze into chunks, the thin black ice (melting snow on the pavement that freezes), the thick block of ice just underneath the surface of what appears to be untouched powder.  As you can tell I spent a good deal of energy negotiating the trail.  But there was untouched powder along on the sides of the trail.  That tells me, that the Grizzly Ridge and Goldfinger are still powdery. C-ya.

tread/push ups/core

And now a word about Asics Gel Kinsei 2.  I bought these shoes the third week of July.  They were really expensive, but I was running through shoes like every 4 weeks so I got these after eyeing the huge heel and midsole.  I ran about 200 miles in these shoes and I attribute the ultimate breakdown of my back/hip/ham to these shoes.  The heel is too lifted and shortens the ham.  I thought the extra support would be good, but for me, it turns out shortening my hamstring ie. extra padding on the heel did damage to my ham/and then back and hip.  I've reserved this judgement but on Saturday when it was so snowy outside, I wore these shoes again for their great traction.  AFter 9 miles in those shoes, I got that familiar ache in my hip.  I don't know how these things work exactly, but I think that all that extra heel padding/material isn't as good for you as you think.  I've been running on the much cheaper Saucony Ride's (mostly treadmill mind you) but they are sort of the purist running shoe--not a lot of big padding. But I think that's been better for me.  So I have a pair of $130 running shoes with less than 300 miles in my closet. It's a pity, they are good looking shoes.  That'll teach me not to buy such expensive running shoes.  What a waste.  ANYway, I ran 4 on the treadmill and then 2 out on the trail in pitch black night.  The dogs saw my running shoes and started going crazy and it made me feel really bad about running on the treadmill so I went those last 2 miles in the black of night.  But the stars were breathtaking and twinkly as I've ever seen them (even in the desert near Ocatillo Wells).  It was so spectacular to witness that dark clear winter sky.  So glad I have dogs.

Maiden voyage of the ProGrid V's.  They've been my favorite shoe so far.  My little Sage was really sick all night and through the day.  It was so tragic to be ill on a day so beautiful.  We laid in big bed and I worked while she threw up around 100 times.  Around 4:30 a full sized crystal prizm I keep in a west window went crazy and threw a gazillion rainbows all around the room.  It was magic and I felt I couldn't stay indoors another second.  I got out with the Dogs and did a run on the trail.  The sky was so blue.  It was a short run, out of mother-guilt, but I walked on the treadmill a bit, and did extra sit ups/push ups/stretches while my feaverish catatonic daughter looked at me from the bed. How long you gonna do that? she asked. She's seen me in action now (usually she's still in bed at 5:30 a.m. when I normally do this routine)  She may have guessed I was crazy before, but now she KNOWS.

The Jury is in.  Saucony PRoGrid 4/5 are officially my favorite, never fail-me shoe.  I didn't get to run in the morning because I've been up two nights in a row trying to keep the vomit off the carpet (everyone's go stomach flu....).  So I got a mintue in the evening, but couldn't bear the thought of the treadmill. So once again I tried the pitch black winter night running. I ran as fast as I could in the dark.  Seemed fast anyway.  All those sparkeling stars against the black moonless sky were such a sight.

For Marion's benefit alone, I wore the Garmin-- which I have not used in a few months (according to the history setting-- 5 miles on November 26th). Anyway, I got to run this morning with the famously friendly and lovely Marion!  I haven't run more than 8 miles in a while, so I brought the Garmin to gauge it.  I never can tell how far I'm going when I don't give myself a time limit or care about the M/M.  It was so fun to chat up Marion.  She now knows my life story, and I know she likes Golden Retreivers.  Not exactly a fair exchange (looks like I need to get out of the house more often).  I thought we we'rent going to get in enough miles going my regular route, so I had us double up on one segment of the trail and by the time we'd turned around we'd already done the 9 we were supposed to be running.  So we ended doing 11.18 oops.  Never run with me if you actually care about mileage, or speed. There is a reason I have not kept track using my Garmin since my hip gave out and this is it, but I told Marion I'd post for her sake:

   10:10/10:18/10:28/11:09/11:06/11:49/11:01/12:23/11:49/11:50/13:01 and 12:/58 for .50

But the Garmin guaged I'd used over 1,000 calories-- at least all that ice cream I ate yesterday didn't go to waste.....:)  Thank you Marion!  Let me know when we can trek again in some fabulous new location.

I changed my profile picture to when I took first place in the Pioneer Day 10K (first place in my class).  It's not the greatest picture, but a reminder to myself that I ran a consistant 8:00-8:13 minute mile in 3 races this summer.  I ran 12 miles (recorded 11.18, but ran 12+) Saturday with Marion and the hip did not hurt afterwards.  My knees and lower back were a little sore/stiff after, but not bad.  I did extra stretching. So I hope to begin some shorter, faster mid-week runs--even if on the treadmill (just for speed/endurance). I'm excited to see my sis in Moab!  Treadmill @6.5 and 3.0 incline, 300 sit ups, 50 push ups, 60 second minute planking. 

I ran 3 therapy miles with Sarah in the early morning.  It was 43 degrees.  Not sure how I feel about that balmy good news.  The 40's is my preferred running temp and it's so short lived-- and it generally marks the end of Utah County skiing. But I was happy to see the light in the East oultlining the mountains.  We'll have sunlight in the morning yet....but then comes DLS time when 6:00 a.m. becomes 5:00 a.m.  I hate that.  Then I ran 2 really fast miles (9:13-8:45 m/m) on the treadmill.  Yawn.

Ran 6 boring treadmill miles and had to open the door to the outside for cool air. It got hot running inside the house, but then outside was only like 50 degrees.  Everyone has been so thrilled with the balmy weather, and I'm just not done skiing yet.  The snow's melted off my lawn.  Hard to believe.  I remember the most incredible snow storm I've ever seen was March 1st (1998).  Just the day before, my boss said "I can't believe we're almost done with winter, it's the end of February!" She hates winter, and was so thrilled she'd escaped another....but then the next day it snowed like 3 feet.  She was so depressed, her car was stuck in her driveway, so she called us all to cancel work as a 'snow day'.  Then I just headed to Sundance with a huge smile on my face. I still hold hope for one or two more excellent stormss.  The past two weeks has been supreme.  I'll miss it.

I'm having a hard time getting up at 6:00.  I know when it's light out it will be easier, but this morning I woke up, put my feet to the floor, and I got a sudden bright flash of wavy electric light that shot through,and then vibrated in my eye for 3 hours (Mirgrane!).  I've never woken up with one. But I always, always get a big one the last week February, or first week of March, and one in October.  It's either the changing light or allergies.  Anyway, the headache was bad enough I took Imitrex--which made me, hmmm, don't know how to describe that, it made me feel hollow. The mirgrane was gone, but I was spacey (and I think it's just naproxine and aceitamenaphine)..  Anywho, I ran after work.  But I forgot how it gets dark so early.  So I got the kids all in order (homework, piano, scouts, etc) and then took off.  2 miles---way down the trail--- in I realized it was getting dark, not dusk---dark. Stars were coming out and the moon was a dark sliver through the tall dark trees. I'd been so absorbed in the running I didn't notice it was full-on night time.  I wish I would remember to wear my Garmin, because I'll bet you I did those 2 miles back in about 15 mintues.... But then there was another girl running her big dog on the way back.  I felt a little better to not be the only human on the trail at night.  But I was also a little jealous of her dog.  He looked like he actually might attack me if I tried any funny business.  I looked over at my two dogs and they looked like they might go fetch her slippers is she asked them to.

One hour on the stationary bike at level 5 resistance.  I've been thinking about MichelleL's hip/sciatic/Sacroiliac Ligaments.  While I've worked only about half as hard, and have had nothing to lose but my personal enjoyment of running over the same kind of injury, reading hers, is like reading my own blog entries from Oct/ St. George Marathon.  I hate to say it, but all those ligament tears, and hamstring attachment are still not healed 100%.  I still have pain in my lower back/hip and the top and bottom of where the ham attaches at either end if I'm not careful to stretch or go too far/too fast.  It's been a real learning process for me--The other day while peddling away at the stationary bike I declared out loud "I'm sick of being patient."  Which made my daughter laugh out loud.  "Well, that's oxymoronic" she said (what does she know? she's 12).  I've decided though that I am certain that pool running is inferior to stationary biking where cardio is concerned.  I have the crappiest stationary bike (a Reebok brand) I bought at this traveling 'used cardio' equipment tent sale in front of Food4Less or some idiotic location --but it was cheap, and it does work, and it has helped me keep my cardio agility during the days of only being able to run 3 miles.  It has been a life saver.  I've been reading Michelle's woes about going to the pool and having to play chicken with the swimmers in the swimming lane. I hate the gym, I hate the pool, I hate the chlorine, I hate to share my space --it's the antithesis of why one runs in the first place.  It made me mad just to have to read her blog entry about it.  It has been such a frustrating 6 months for me....the 7 pounds, the inability to take off when and for how long I want to, the alternating cardio, reduced impact work outs, the stretching, ohmygosh the hours and hours of painful PT stretching.  I'm just glad I'm no on the other side of these 6 months. The body is amazing in it's ability to perform, and heal, and bounce back.  But the mind and spirit--that's another challenge altogether.

I was in a car accident last night.  I have a friend who just got a brand new Mercedes C300---red, glossy, absolutely gorgeous.  We were rear ended right as we were pulling off the freeway in Salt Lake. Teenage kids behind us going about 40 mph not realizing there was a stand still line exiting the interstate. You know, I love a gorgeous car ( I grew up around them), but I'm reminded time and time again what a waste it is to have something that expensive.  STUFF, always gets wasted.  Unless you really like spending a lot of your free time and mental energy taking care of somthing that expensive (AND you enjoy throwing $100 dollar bills out the window for a hobby)--it's not worth it.   I probably should have whiplash--but that particular car has so many insane saftey features, I hardly felt it even thought the air bags and head rest impact stoppers were deployed.  I want to own the kind of car that if I'm rear ended on a Friday night, I would not even remember or care on Saturday.  A car is a car.   I wore the Garmin today but decided not to look at it until about half way through.  I ran pretty strong, but not full out and was averaging 9 m/m.  This was news to me.

9:11/ 8:54/ 9:05/ 9:14/ 9:26/ 9:24/9:09/9:31/9:43/9:30/9:39/10:53 

I really thought they were 12 m/m for sure.  I stopped to stretch the right places twice, but overall had a really strong uninteruppted run.  Made me wonder about Ogden in May (the half vs. the whole?).  The warmer weather really makes a difference on those wounded ligaments.  They are feeling pretty ok, no pain sitting, no aching in my outer hip.  Next Saturday I will strive for negative splits.  I thought I was going to do that today, but around 10 miles I really took it down a notch.  I wasn't expecting to have such a great run, it's been a crappy week overall.  It was nice to see the river today, unfrozen and dark green.  Funny though, today was the day of the hundreds of tiny black birds roosting  in a single tree chirping loudly.  Also geese (Canadian Geese) all honking and gathered in the cow field.  Then there were the 100 or so seagulls standing way out on the still frozen Utah lake.  Standing there in a group waiting, as if the thaw would occur at any minute.  At the pier I saw where they cut that square out for the 'swimmers' last weekend.  The ice is getting more opaque as it thaws, but it's still frozen.  There were tons of runners out there in the sun, enjoying the sparkle of light on the newly unfrozen waters.   I can't believe March (my least favorite month of the year  is right here.  

Hmm. Well I could have used a few extra days of February, but I don't think it works that way.   I'd also be pretty happy to bypass Monday and Tuesday, and just get to Wednesday or Sunday.... This morning I challenged myself to a 8:45 m/m on mile 5. I was really encouraged by Saturday's run.  I felt strong, and everthing feels 'in place'--no pain, no swelling. It's getting light by 6:20, but soon it will DSL which means it won't be light until 7:20 :(  Tommorrow's my Sarah day! Yay!

I think we ran 4. I should check Sarah's blog to see for sure. It was 58 degrees this morning at 6:00.  Sarah wore a short sleeved t shirt.  I wasn't that brave.  I hate March. I'm colder in March and April than any other month of the year.  I don't know why.  I just wish it would be snow, snow, snow and then Spring would start. It's so dull still, and unpredictable.  I'm just not satisfied with loosing the snow until the tulips and trees bloom. 

The theme for today is :Burley men and small dogs.  In the middle of the day, I took a lunch hour run and there was an inordinate number of large, manly men walking small dogs.  Not Miniature Scnuazer/English Terrier small, but Pomeranian/SchTzu/Teacup Poodle small.  First, was a gay couple proudly walking a tiny blond pomeranian wearing a sweater. But the there was a college student looking kid, hoody, ipod, and tiny SchTzu on a leash.  Then an older, middle age Swedish Farmer looking guy walking some thing like a poodle?  I'm serious. They say that people pick dogs that look like themselves/represent their personalities.  This idea gave me pause as I passed. I guess I should be glad that men can embrace their dainty side.  I mean, I can't even do that.  The run was hard.  I was tired by Noon and have had my energy sapped by 14 straight days of hard core pre-tax filing discussions about non-cash charitable contirbutions.  See, you're tired just reading that.

I'm going to try cycling the Fridays before my Saturday longer runs.  I cycled (according to the stationary read out) 19.5 miles.  Who knows really.  I rode for 55 minutes between 19-20 mph at a resistance level of 3-5 and then did all the same situp/pushups/planking I do every single day.  Man that works up a wicked sweat. All the while, enjoying pointless brain candy for breakfast by watching an episode and a half of Alias.  Whoever thought to combine Wonder Woman, 007, Borne Identity, and Days of Our lives into one show (Alias) was genius.  It's the post-modern soap opera.  Dexter will be my next cycling series.  Votes?

The worst run ever.  I was good the first 6, but then the temp dropped 10 degrees and I was underdressed (didn't even wear gloves), I lost my dog in the newly unfrozen marsh, and I got really sick to my stomach (hmmm, maybe that block of Velveta and 42 oz. Diet Pepsi wasn't such a good idea).  I forget also, that even at 27 degrees, you can get dehydrated.  The last 3 miles all I could dream about was getting home to drink a gallon of water.  My next runs will be shorter, higher intensity.  No more long runs until Moab.  After Moab, I'll reevealuate for the Ogden Marathon. Jeff and I passed each other a bunch of times doubling up portions of the trail for extra miles.  You know when someone is good at something when they make it look easy.  He makes running look effortless, he glides.  It's fun watching people do what they are good at. But it makes me wonder, do I make anything look effortless?  Am I that good at anything?  Probably just eating.

I had a really strong run in spite of Saturdays bad one.

 More snow here in Utah!  Hard to run on in the pitch dark daylight savings a.m.  I hate daylight savings.  I hate black ice.  300 sit ups, 40 push ups, ( 3)60 second plank--stretching, painful post seated travel stretching.

I ran after work.  Not fond of the  post work-day work out. But I pushed hard for two good miles (8:30's).  On mile 6 toward the end, I got a surprise call from Catherine!  I laid off inviting her to run since our  post SGM runs because I didn't want to tempt her to run when she was trying to get her thyroid thing in order. While we trained she lost like 15 pounds and was exahusted all the time, lost her hair, etc.  Then after the Marathon was diagnosed with Graves.  So now she's all juiced up on sythetic hormone, gained her weight and grew her hair back, and she's ready to rock.  Tricky little thing's been training for Moab behind my back.  We decided we'd do the Utah County Martahon in June.  I'm so excited!  It was weird I couldn't get myself to register for Ogden.  No Amanda, no Catehrine for Ogden so I was waffeling.  I guess it's time to run on my home turf for a change.  Yay Cath's back! 

I ran two of these miles so fast on a full lunch-time stomach I thought I'd die.  I had to rest for about 15 seconds after each one to catch my breath, but I still averaged 9:13 for the whole run.  I hate this time of year.  It's cold, bleak, and the color of depression.  How's that for an entry. 

I rode 19 miles on the stationary and did 300 sit ups, 40 push ups.  Later on couldn't resist being outside and ran 2 easy miles for lunch.  But also, I registered for the Utah Valley Marthon on June 13th.  If Marion and I are doing it, you all are doing it. So, as they say; Just Do It.

https://www.raceit.com/register/?event=201.php

Besides which 100% of the proceeds go to charity.  Now that's a race I can feel good about.

"Fast miles" is qualifed as anything sub 9:00.  Ran with Catherine this morning.  We haven't done a run over 5 since Fall.  She felt pretty strong....but she could be having a cardiac arrest and I would never know.  She just runs and never complains. Unlike me, I like to complain. And then I  stop to stretch the parts I complain about.  At the end of the trail Timpanogos had one trianglar section lit bright pink from behind as the sun hit the horizon in the East.  The whole imense mountain face stood cool, stark, and steely white, except this one angular section of pink where the sun kissed it good morning. This,  reflected with razor-edge precision in mirrored stillness of the lake.  It's like if a tree falls in the forest, can anyone hear it.  Does beauty exist in silent places across the earth even if there is no one there to witness it?.  Yes. The freakin answer is yes.  Just get out there and be the first one to see it in the morning.   The lake is now almost all the way unfrozen except around the reedy edges and the rocky pier.  The lake was so still, it shone the same breathtaking shade of silvery-blue-and-pink that filled the sky. What a gift to be filled with these silent beautiful moments, alone in the world, before anyone else is awake enough to ruin the view.

8:14/8:21/8:46/9:04/9:05  

It was not my intention to go fast, I was just in a hurry to get it done.  I got pain in a few familiar places, which I hate.  But it was a great run; Good effort, and I didn't die trying. Now, I've just got to tone it down for the next few days. The hay's in the barn. Nothing more I can do this week.

I got to be outside for this one.  Warm, and bright but milky skies. Everything, except the river, is still the color I hate (the color of nothing).  Next month we'll see some green.  I had to restrain the mileage, and keep it moderate.  I need to hold back the tiger for Saturday (or in my case, the house-cat).  I loved being outside, since it's started getting warmer, I'm overwhelmed with the bird chatter--thousands and thousands of birds and ducks celebrating the warm weather. Even an occasional pheasant screeching in the distance. I keep looking for my owls.  I felt so lucky to see them two years in a row. Last year while Amanda and I were on the trail about 6:30 a.m. and  I just stopped mid-step to stare at them, then Amanda stopped to see what I was looking at.  Then they spread their huge wings and floated away across the river.  Today, I saw a lot of fallen eggs.  That's strange because there hasn't been much wind lately. Ave. pace 8:48.

Ran a super easy, chatty 4 with my Sis who's visiting from DC for Moab.

Met Josse for a early morning run.  She totally kicked by butt by 7:00 a.m.  It was good to have a challenging run and to catch up.  

Hiked through Arches.  Spent lunch at Delicate Arch with my DC girls.  It was Awesome. The weather was perfect. Nice to be in the sun and eat dried mango and drink ice water from a Camelpack while hiking and enjoying the world with my sister.

I totally got one thousand three hundred eighty seventh place! Score!  OK, I'm being sarcastic. I got 68th place in my division. Ok, still sarcastic... but true nonetheless. (I guess out of 3,284 runners/ 229 in my division it's not too shabby). I actually did my personal best time for this course.  Two minutes better than 2007 and 7 minutes better than 2006 & 2008.  Catherine and Mindy drove down from Provo the morning of and it was so great to see them there!  Catherine and I ran about the first mile together, but she was excited to see what she could do in a half so I hung back while she sprinted on ahead. I never saw her after the race so I hope she did well.  It was an awesome run overall, a good effort on my part and I didn't re-injure.  So I'm happy.  I could have shaved another 3 minutes off my time if I didn't stop to use the port-a-potty on mile 8 (icky). Way more sun and heat that I'd anticipated so it got a little tough after mile 10 out into the city.  But what a gorgeous run.  My favorite part is when people shut up around mile 6 and all you can hear are pounding feet and breathing ecoing in the canyon. And then at mile 9 the drum ladies.  Those drums are amazing.  The river was so gorgeous. They've made a few improvements to the canyon (camp sights and a new bike trail to the side of the road). So that means I'll be coming back really soon to use that trail.  I always have them drop me off 10 miles up that canyon really early in the morning, but if you don't get before 7:00 you risk your life sharing the road with the bikers and the big trucks hauling their kayaks and rafts.  So now there's a bike trail right along the river's edge.  Can't wait to get back. I love Moab.  The whole experience was beyond words, just like the silent red-rock cliffs towering above the Green River Canyon.

Got up to run just 3 little miles with Sarah this morning.  We ran a different route, so it was not only a nice break from the regular grueling a.m. miles, but a change in the pitch-dark and depressing pre-dawn scenery :)  I can't wait until it starts getting lighter sooner. When we got back to the house Josse had shown up to run with the FRB a.m. team.  Whats with all the cute hair cuts you guys? Both Sarah and Josse have sassy new hair cuts. I'm jealous and just about ready to wack mine off. Anyway, Josse gave me back my favorite ear muff and can of mace I'd left in her car last week.  She said her son "discovered" the mace.....sorry Josse. Also, I got to meet fellow FRBlogger, "Carolyn from Colorado" who was proudly wearing her Moab cap from this weekend.  I wish I had more time this morning, I would have loved to go out with them but had to be back by 7:15. Some other time I hope.  I took it easy Sunday and Monday and today, better not to overdo it this week anyway. Will run another 3 in the afternoon just for fun now that it's lighter later, and the weather is mild but still cool. 

I usually get two migranes a year.  One in February, and one in September/October.  But last month I had a string of them (like 5 in as many days).  I had a mild one yesterday, and another one today that has not gone away since this morning.  It's not the headache-pain that bothers me.  It's the vision disturbance, light senstivity, and the nausea.  The first time I had one I was 20 and I thought I was going blind.  I never had any more until my 30's.  Then only twice a year.  But I have had 7 in less than a month. I won't make the mistake of taking Imetrex this time.  I think that's what made me have more than just one last time.  I just hope this is the last one until Fall. Anyway, I had to turn to my old frienemy the treadmill to get my running done today.  Boring.

No flashing/vibrating lines, nausea, or headache when I awoke.  But I could hear howling wind and pelting snow hit the window panes.  I went downstairs to wait for Josse while I stretched.  The rocking chairs on the front porch were rocking madly in the wind, and when Josse drove up, I could see the snow flying sideways in the headlights.  Here's what I love about running; it instantly qualifies your friends.  Will she, or won't she? ( in this weather).  When she says what you would say (which is: I got up, I'm here, I'm running) you know you got a keeper.  That plus she brought her own dog.  There are girls who run fast, and who win races -- but when talent is their only driving force-- those same girls are are often wimpy and lazy in other ways.  So there we were running with our three dogs, in sideways snow hitting our eyeballs, in the tall trees and pitch black pre-dawn.  It's nice to have a friend who will run in a blizzard with you, and also tell you interesting stories about life. I'm just sorry for her sake, I can't run any faster.     

So my daughter looks at me from the rear view mirror and announces that emotional and mental inflexiblity is a sign of mental illness--like Hitler or Mousolini.  "What do you mean?" I ask interested in avoiding mental illness at all cost.  "Well, we never eat french fries for example" she says as we're driving by Ripples.  "Watch this!" I said as I flip a U turn to the drive up window.  So for dinner Mommy gave her babies onion rings, french fries, and a pineapple rasberry shake.  My kids just laughed and laughed from the back seat.  When I asked how come they were laughing.  My son, shiny eyed and a mouth full of french fries looks right at me and says: "Sucker."    "Yeah?" I said "I just tricked you into thinking I'm sane."

Because if you really think about it, who tries to prove to their own children that they are not insane by feeding them french fries and ice cream for dinner. Who's the sucker now.

Granted, some Mondays are harder than other Mondays.  But when it dark, 29 degrees (or maybe 15 degrees considering windchill ), with cloudy skies, 2 inches of fresh powder on top of newly budded tree branches, and even the dogs don't want to leave their beds.....That my friends is MONDAY in all CAPS.  I can take a few days of the cold throwback weather.....but it's going to last ALL WEEK long.  Where's my St. John's Wort, Valerian Root, and Zanax when I need it?  Escaping winter feels, strangely like those last .2 of the race.... that long, never ending corridor before the finish line...you can see it, people are telling you 'you're almost there!',  but it's in a slow motion time warp that seems neverending).  So I got on the dreadmill and jogged slower than I care to admit and counted myself lucky to have a  DVD to watch (totally out of breath, inspiration, and engery by 7:00 a.m.). I'm sure the french fries on Friday and all the totally excellent Mexican Food (enjoyed at Mercado Mejicano on State Street in Orem) is to blame.  That and the most depressing Spring weather since 1994.

If I miss that first wave of sleepiness that hits around 9:00 p.m. I may never sleep after that.  I catch a second wind that will keep me awake all night long.  It's rough when that happens (again, I blame the Mexican food from Saturday. Why is it always the Mexican food with me?).  I got up to run with Sarah and was met at the door by Sasha who informed me that Sarah couldn't come out to play.  Not that I blame her, 6:00 a.m. isn't the most relaxing part of the day when you're still nursing a baby.....so I came home and ran the trail.  I ran pretty fast because I was in a hurry ( flat 9's and never stopped the whole run).  It was a good workout--or at least it felt that way once I was done.  This early spring weather feels colder than winter--maybe its because you're expecting it to be warmer. But it's the kind of cold that chills me to the bone and can only be cured by an overly hot 30 minute bath. It's chilly, but it's still better than trying to run in the late summer afternoon. 

I'm going to count fast miles this morning just because I ran with Josse :) She said we averaged 8:50's, but I had to make a few pit stops for piriformis/ham stretching and other things...so really the average higher overall. I love that Josse brings her dog now. Running has become our dog's play date (Did I really just write that?). She was saying how she never really considered herself an "animal/dog lover" until she had this lab.  I had a lab that died of cancer 3 years ago, and before him, I probably didn't consider myself a 'dog person' either.  It's not like I have cross-stich pillows with dog images or funny dog sayings, or framed artwork of my dog looking majestically anywhere in my house--but I'm here to tell you, that as adult woman whose lived through a lot of crap, I've truely embraced the deep and abiding love that comes with the loyalty, unwaivering faith, and enthusiasm of a dog.  

So Marion calls yesterday and asks if I want to run 15 with some other bloggers on the Jordan River Trail. I take a deep breath and realize I forgot all about training for the Utah Valley Marathon.  I guess I got to start ramping it up sometime.  So, um sure.  So I meet her at 6:30, and it's snowing. Not just snowing, it's blowing SNOW.  Weather, I can hack it.  Sure.  We get there and Marion introduces me to Smooth, RAD, Tarzan, and Leslie.  I'm thrilled it's a whole new bunch of cool people and an undiscovered (for me) section of the river trail.  A deer crosses the trail, the river is wide and brown, the snow is sticking to the ground for some nice traction (it's also pelting us in the eyeballs).  I ran for a bit with RAD when Smooth came along and we started up the hills.  I had never run this trail so was following on faith.  Somewhere around 5 miles, I realize the others are no where behind us.  But that's ok they tell me.  So get to know RAD (training for her first Marathon) and Smooth (a 12 time Boston finisher and whose 52 year old, 4"11 self defies all logic). Who in the world could be that cute and tough. I loved it.  The miles go by in spite of the snow, but somewhere after 12ish, I start slowing a bit.  They were keeping a really steady 9 mm pace and I needed to slow it down.  My mileage has been inconsistant the cold was shrinking  my ham, hurting my hip in the way of the SGM injury.  I followed them to the end of the trail and let them go ahead.  I ran for what seemed like forever, started to miss my dogs and my can of mace, saw a flock of white Pelicans.  Yes, Pelicans. Who knew Saratoga Springs had pelicans.  A whole flock sitting on the marsh flew away and the sound was heart stopping.  Pelicans are so big.  It reminded me of Baja so I thought about my Dad and my sister for a while.  Man this run was taking forever.  I got a little lost in a multi-dimensional segment of the trail near a campground, and luckily found Leslie and Marion.  My ham was killing me, the snow had frozen every ligament and my feet and socks were soaked.  We get to the car and these people have a spread on the tailgate that could feed a football team (in spite of the pouring snow).  So we drank hot chocolate in our wet shoes, shivering and hypothermic trying to replenish. Sat in the car, laughed, a bit, and ate some more.  Then someone asks Smooth, how far we went (keep in mind I thought we were all running 14 or 15) and she says "Oh a little over 17."  No wonder that kicked my butt.  I was not ready for those last 2 miles.  I need to be doing better during the weekdays.  But they made up for 100 fold with the thermoses and muffins.  Man, those ultra marathoners know how to throw a tailgate party.  It was so great to meet everyone and see a new part of the trail.  I can't wait to go back (I promise to bring the fruit next time!). 

Today was glorious weather. Why couldn't Saturday have been like this? Today was clear and mild (about 54 degrees), the mountains were a crisp white border against bright blue skies, and the lake was a glacial green. I've complained about the cold rainy, snowy weather, but today there was a glint of green on everything. So I guess what they say about April showers is true. There were tiny leaflet buds on trees, tender grass, and reeds starting to bud. Life, again made fresh. P.S. Since when do we have pelicans? I saw 4 floating on the lake. Not Osprey or Egret; Pelicans. White feathers and orange beaks (not grey like the ones I see in Baja). I really need a field guide/Audubon Society Guide to our region. I see so many birds and plants I'd like to know the names of. It was really something to see those huge white birds floating on the blue-green water. The run was so-so. My legs felt a little heavy (after Saturday) but not bad. I'm still so glad I had a great distraction to carry me those 17 miles this weekend--snow and all. I would have never done that on my own. I'm getting really inconsistant and undiciplined in both my speed and distances. It was a great check up.

My shoes are still wet from Saturday. Thankfully, today was another gorgeous, mild spring day. I've got so much on my mind this week all I could think about is getting the run over with. So on the plus side, I'm running 9's again, and because I'm in a hurry I can't stop either.

It's becoming more frequent (headaches and insomnia), awesome!  Cause I'm not crazy enough already.  I never slept at all last night and didn't get out until 7:00.  So I could only get in these 4 miles this morning before a 7:30 meeting.  It's cloudy now, but the sunrise was all mine.  First time I've seen Matt K on the trail (or it's finally light enough to see who is on the trail now).  Also, the FRB A.M. team also on the move.  This morning's run was hard work. I was tired.  Maybe I'll put in a few more miles in the afternoon while kids are at piano, see if I can whip up some total exhaustion black-out.  Ahh, elusive sleep.

Yesterday I woke up to pouring rain, a headache, sore throat.  I guess that's why I'd been so tired the day before.  I actually had to call Josse to cancel our run.  It's such a charity run for her, but I missed it.  I went to work to get a few things done in the morning, but came home and laid in bed. Later in the day I felt a little better. This morning I slept in (got 11 hours of sleep) and woke up better, but still tired.  It's Good Friday and I am filled with thoughts of many Semana Santas past.  Easter has always been a special time for me.  I'm overwhelmed with feelings this weekend. Being tired and sick makes me more sensitive.  I ran late in the afternoon, not feeling my best, but was glad to be outside  There was a warm wind and the trees are budded with green nobs.  There's a little section close to the house I've always think looks like a party in Spring.  It's about 50 feet of wild choke cherry and crab apple trees that line the trail and form a flowered canopy overhead.  Today, the budded branches looked like they were about to explode like tiny popcorn kernals.  On this Good Friday, I was dreaming of the many Easter's I've spent in Baja looking for and later in life hiding Easter Eggs in the sand dunes.  I was contimplating the last Easter I was there 3 years ago for the last time. It seems like a million years ago.

I found the best new home remedy for a cold! Start by getting up at 6:30 a.m. to run 12 miles in the cold rain, then stand in your wet running clothes for two soccer games in a row (don't forget to get rained on!), then take your kids to where they have volunteered to help set up the kiddie Easter Egg hunt at  the park (again, keep your wet, salty clothes on WHILE it rains or it won't work), and then come home and drink some hot chicken broth with lemon and fresh garlic.  It totally works.

Having a cold is such a bummer.  Everything is harder when you feel like you weigh 500 pounds and your lungs don't work right. It's all that Spring weather (plus extra strength kid germs) that does it to me every time.  At least I got out today. It felt good and it was pretty outside. 

Tredmill miles--but it was my only option today.  Boring, but done.  Also I heard it's snowing in Provo.  Ha.

Ran in the p.m. not my favorite day part (lowest energy level of the day).  That plus I'm still getting over this dumb cold.

Ran so slowly. Passed Sasha and Jeff on the trail -- I said I was glad it's friday.  I enjoy the cold for running, but I am sick of it overall.  What's up with spring blossoms and snow, and all the cracked trees?  What about 10 inches of snow on Thursday?  Global warming indeed.

Thankfully Marion was back from St. George and suggested we go together.  So we ran from Will's to Vivian Park for 17.  She makes running easy and fun.  Ran into Marisa who is training for a Wasatch Back Ultra team.   The weather became more and more mild as we ran.  It's shaped up to be a nice day.  When I came home, my toenails all hurt.

My legs felt heavy, but it's the cardio-vascular weakness that concerns me.  It doesn't feel possible to be where I was last year with my running.  I peaked in late July, which I know was premature for my 2008 goals.  I'm trying to hold back and everything right now, but I feel like a cow meadering through the meadow. To think I was headed to Boston today (this time last year, in my mind). I guess I should just be grateful to be healthy and still running.  I am grateful to still be out there.  I just feel like deadweight and wish I felt my body would cooperate with my mind on achieving a few goals. On a good note, the world outside is fecund with the smell of manuer and nightshade.  Spring has sprung (at least for today).

Last night as my daugher said her prayers she spent 5 minutes naming each and every item of her day she was grateful for. This included: A safe home, healthy food, and soft sheets. She also named every other thing you could possibly think of. But her thoughts have resonated with me since last night. I need to be thankful. More grateful. I complain about and am afraid of far too many things. There will come a day when I am more free than I am now to do the things I'd like. But in the meantime, I need to be more mindful. Today while I ran, someone's black lab joined my animal entourage. My dogs were freaked out by the visitor and it was unnerving at first to have a strange black dog flank me. Having been bitten by three dogs in my life, I was a little worried. But he just followed us the whole way and kept going when we got off the trail. He reminded me a bit of my dear old black lab buried in the back yard. In keeping with the toughts that have been going through my mind: I am grateful to be reminded of my old black lab friend and I am grateful the world is bright green again.

The whole sky was bright pink before the sun rose this morning. I mean, glowing, bright pink. It's crazy how the world does stuff like that and there are hardly any witnesses. When I got onto the trail, I half expected to see the black dog again. I felt like Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) yesterday running with a pack of dogs. But he was nowhere. About two weeks ago a foal was born to the black mare who pastures at the end of the trail. Today that little foal was running all over, kicking up her back legs and bucking around. Then she'd run up to her Mama, who bent her head down to sniff her baby. But then the baby just toustled the hair of her Mama's mane with her nose, and then started jumping around again on those slender, long foal legs. It made me laugh it was so dog-gone-cute.

Josse got back from Hawaii and so came over to run. She looked all tan and rested and was even wearing bright Hawaii colored running gear. I got to hear a little about her vacation; the beaches, the hiking, and kayaking. Probably now for the rest of the day I'm going to dream of Kayaking in Hawaii. There were Kayakers on the river yesterday. I think I'm finally going to get one this year. I keep thinking that since I don't go to Baja anymore I can't justify it as much. I loved to love to Kayak in San Felipe. Early in the morning, before the sun rises, when there is no wind and almost no waves, a porpoise or two may surface around where you'd be paddleing. They always swim parallel to the shore and in groups so even if you only saw one, the water would be churning where they swam below the surface. It was always so thrilling when that happened. Sometimes around here on those soft, still mornings, Utah Lake is a mirror and I dream about hiding a kayak in the bushes so I can have it ready for those moments. A friend showed me how to paddleboard last year. And I did like it, I'd have to that a lot if I lived near the ocean. But I can also take the kayak on the river when it's full in Spring and early summer.

I hitched a ride up to Vivan Park and the first 3 were gorgeous (all things green and tender along the trail after a night of spring rain), the next 4 it poured and I was so glad I was wearing my rain gear and baseball cap so the water just rolled off.  It went pretty fast from Will's to the fire station because I decided to listen to music. I had to use the crawl space under one of the bridges because there was so much water on on of the walk ways I had to crawl around it.  I was not about to get my shoes and socks wet at mile 12.  I did that a few weeks ago and didn't like running in wet shoes.  Then around mile 13 I ran through a 'walk' they were having along the trail for the National MS Society.  Long runs bring me to a level of sensitivity and spirituality that is hard to escape. I cry at the end of races or during long runs because my defences are down and all the pain or frustration I've held at bay all week, year, or a lifetime, easily overflow the dam.  So there were these signs along the trail with public education messages about the symptoms of MS and how many people are affected, and all kinds of facts about MS until I'd had so much information about MS I broke into tears.  I stopped and bent over in the middle of the trail, in the middle of the other walkers, put my hands on my knees broke into tears for my sister.  It was so ironic to be in the middle of my run and smitten by the realization that MS is forever more going to play a major role in the rest of my life.  I just hope my sister's version of it won't be as severe as it sometimes can be. Needless to say I ran the rest of the run like I'd been hit in the stomach and also tired from running, but struggled along to the end.  I didn't make bad time overal ( averaged 9:45' )and then I called my sister.

I find Mondays to be the hardest run of the week.  My legs are usually dead for a few days after a Saturday long run.  But for some unknown reason, not today.  I saved my run for lunchtime, since it was so sunny outside (and I wanted to put as much distance between today and last Saturday's 19--especially because they were two 17+ Saturdays in a row).  But I got out there and jammed.  On Saturday had been talking to Sasha who suggested I run as fast as I can, until I can't anymore than slow it down for the remainder.  I ended up sort of farlkeking my run, but averaged 8:40's by the end.  And it felt great, which was a real surprize.  Besides which, it was gorgeous out.  Everything is tender green and the river extra wide today from the melting run off (all that snow in the mountains this weekend).  It should be an exciting month with all the run-off.  They were setting up the swim dock down at the youth camp.  I can't wait for the warmer days. 

9:04/8:53/8:45/8:57/9:13/9:43/9:08

9:09/9:23/9:41/9:03

Josse had the Garmin so I'm taking her word for whatever we did today.  I wore mine, but of course, forgot to set it.  I've been so good for a few days keeping track. A little more than half-way down the road, Brune picked up and ran with a 10 foot long stick in his mouth hoping we'd throw it for him.  It was funny how he carried it with his head held really high so he could balance it, it was huge, like a tightrope walker. Maybe one of these sub 9:00 runs I won't have to catch my breath so often. I hope the aerobic capacity continues to build in the months to come. It's been a problem since PT getting that back. Maybe a body never really gets comfortable being pushed, and can only do what it can do-- like a car. I apparantly run on a 1.0 liter/4 cylinder engine.

Marion and Maureen invited me along on their 18 miler.  I only needed 12 today, but went along for the company.  We rode up the canyon in a downpour, and within a few yards of the car, I was soaked.  Then the rain never stopped for 15 miles.  The girls had another 4-5 more to do when I got off the trail at home.  I hope the rain let up.  The good news is that running down the canyon was like being a participant in one of those esoteric Japanese ink / block prints.  The kind with fog hovering over craggy mountain tops and overflowing waterfalls.  The new green leaves and wet dark ground were lush and fresh.  It truly never stopped raining the whole run.  Aside from the Saint George Marathon this year, I have never run that far, in that much rain.  When I came inside my house, I literally dripped puddles onto the tile.  I had to put my running clothes into the sink to drain.  Running in weather is so exciting. But my hands were like giant red lobster claws by the time I was done.  I had to ask my kids to untie my shoelaces because my fingers wouldn't work.  When when I got into the tub, I couldn't tell if the water was freezing cold or scalding hot.  It was weird.  Overall, it was an easy run. It's nice when those 17-18 milers pay off and suddenly 14-15 seems like an 'easy' run.  And, it was awesome to have company.  Only, I never think to warn people that I'm crazy, and I never censor my speech/thoughts while I run.   Most people say 'running therapy'  but for me it's more like therapy while running.   

Right out the door, a bee got caught in my ponytail and stung my finger when I tried to free it.  So I ran while my index finger grew to be the size of my thumb.   It didn't really hurt and I was mostly distracted by the amount of water in the river.  I've been sleeping with the windows open recently to hear it, and it has risen with each passing day.  It's a lot of rushing water.  My dog who loves to jump in got a really swift surprise when she couldn't swim back to the bank very easily.  The lake too has risen by a number of feet and the water is the color of mint ice cream.  There must be so much water flowing into it from the river it has stirred up the silty bottom.  It was an indredible shade of light green.  Then the cattle, who were all grazing alongside the trail decided my dog s were a threat to the 6-8 calves in the pasture, so several jerseys with heavy udders began to charge the fence.  I wish I had my Garmin when stuff like that happens, because I got at least one really fast mile in there.  Cows are big when they are right next to you. When I arrived at home, I realized I'd locked myself out.  So I had to walk over to the neighbors to get my spare key and when she opened the door, all she said was "what's wrong with your finger?"   And that's pretty much how the rest of my day went.

9:13/9:04/8:57/9:18/9:25 

I had a nice easy run watching how big the river's getting.  Today was the smiling senior phenomenon.  Usually they all hate me because of the dogs.  People with nothing but time on their hands are really fond of socially enforcing traffic rules...all of them.  And they will yell at you at 6:00 a.m.-- when there is no one else on the trail but you and them-- in loud voices for you to read the trail sign if you are not on the right side of the trail, come upon them too quickly from behind, fail to warn them you when are passing, or if your dogs are unleashed (even when they are somewhat obedient to heal).  I've even had them ask out loud where my kid's helment is while riding by.  Why do they all yell at me?  I don't know.  But today, they were all sweet and smiling.  Which is such a relief, because I do so hate having to yell at them to go back to their nursing homes. :)

8:46/8:49/9:03/9:20/9:19

I ran at lunch time and have been used to sub 50 degrees.  Wow.  What a difference a day can make, that plus there are no trees on this end of river trail.  I started by running a trail by my office, and thought my time would be so slow from running on gravel, but I was wrong.  Those were my faster miles. Then I had to run 2 miles uphill to get back to my office, against the wind, in the sun, at about 70 degrees.  I wasn't ready for that.  But man, it was GREAT to be outside in the sun.  No cows today, only cars.  But yesterday, I took my kids down by the lake to show them the 8 new calves and colt.  While we were on our byciles on the side of the road, all 8 calves came right up to the fence, and looked at us with their shiny black eyes and moist noses.  They were all calm and curious.  So my son says "Mama, they have no idea how mean we are to them.  They should run away from us."  I noted that they'd already been branded and tagged so they already had some idea.  So then he gets off his bike, goes over to pet one through the fence for a second and they all began to crowd around him.  If I haven't mentioned it before, we call him "Dr. Doolittle" and "The Cat Whisperer" because he loves animals, and they all love him back.  Anyway, they crowded toward him to smell and lick his hand while me and my daughter stood a few feet away. Then looked up the embankement toward me and said "Let's not eat any more cow ever again."  Why do they have to say things like that to me?  No one loves a good steak like I do.  So I suggested maybe we keep our own cow and I kill it myself, only in a nice way.  He didn't like that idea either. 

I ran 6.4 with Josse and Brune.  My wittle woo-woo gotta owie in her wittle paw (that's grown woman doggie-talking).  So I had to leave her behind. We ran into Matt down by lake, and he turned around to run with us a bit.  He had a great Boston Marathon experience and is thinking of grand slamming Utah--starting with Ogden next week.   Everyone's so pumped for Ogden, and I am still kicking myself for missing the deadline.  But I was still mortally wounded at the sign up time, and really unsure if I could get back to the high mileage by Spring.  I signed up for the Utah Valley Marathon to make up for it.  I hope it's a good experience.  I just need to get 26.2 under my belt again no matter how long it takes me.  But I will miss Ogden, I love the scenery there.  Matt slowed us down for bit (lol), but we managed an 8:40 average (Josse says 8:36, mine said 8:43 so I compromised).  Anyway, then I came home, fixed breakfast, scooted kids out the door and went back for another 2+. What a gorgeous day......Happy Spring!

9:26/9:00/9:02/9:05/9:17/9:24/9:20 --ran with the dogs, passed Jeff warming up down by the lake, put the dogs away got a drink, ran to the race at the trail head.  I ran in to MaryAnn on the trail headed toward the race too and so I  introduced myself and we ran about 200 meters while I joked that I was totally going to nail the Athena class, or maybe even the masters.  She's sweet and actually thought she might not win.   

7:57/8:17/8:46/8:43/8:38--Here's my race times.  Jeff, and then Sasha, Ted, MaryAnn, and then the rest of the group (except about 4 others) doubled back and sailed past me before I had even hit the half way mark.  They don't call it the fastrunningblog.com for nothing. I tried to keep Benjamin in my sights hoping I could at least hold his pace, to no avail.  So I was cleanly outrun by every other person (except 4 others) including the 9 year old. But of course, I dare any of you reading this to race the 9 year old. But hey, for miles 7-12 not to bad for me.

8:40/9:23/11:23/10:04/10:34/9:29/9:11/9:30--Here's after the race. I bumped into my neighbor Tamu and a teenager in the neighborhood and forced them to run two miles with me.  All  Tamu's daughters are all on atheltic scholarship so I figured she could take it.  She could, but only 2 miles.  Ran the rest on my own, excpet the last 3.  Josse was down at the bottom of the trail, trying to get in her miles today.  What luck!  So she carried me the last 3 miles and we chatted and laughed for a bit to the end of the trail where she'd parked her car, and then we were done. Then I ran back toward home, and a little beyond to make an even 20 miles. It was a very good morning. And then I went home, drank 2 liters of water, and made my daughter oatmeal on wobbely legs :)  Happy Saturday!

I won the lottery!  Saint George, here I come!  Wait, why am I excited about this.  I paid $60 to gamble on the chance to win the opportunity to drive 4 hours to a place where I will later get up at 3:30 a.m. after not ever sleeping, get on a bus in the dark, get dropped off in the middle of the desert and then run 26.2 miles back to civilization as fast as I can, in either the freezing rain or maybe 115 degrees?  Hmmm. There are over 7,000 other crazies who made it, and 3,000 dissapointed crazies who didn't. Who should I feel bad for?  No..... I'm really excited to go again.  I look forward to not breaking my hip this time, or wearing a trash bag for 4 hours (keep your fingers crossed).

Loving the gorgeous weather and the thrill of the rushing oversized river. Today was slow going, but I never stopped or slowed down at all. I just maintained a steady 9:13 pace the whole time. I'm a little zip-less today, but it's to be expected, it's Monday.

Ave easy pace 8:54. Talked to Catherine last night since our team made the SGM lottery.  Duane and Diane coming from California are doing their 10 year SGM run, for Cath it will be 6, for me 3.  I didn't realize how many people didn't make the lottery.  Two really good friends, and excellent competitive runners did not make the lottery.  Well, there's always the grand slam way :)  I'm really thrilled.  I made the Hobble Creek and the SGM.  I'm excited now.  I just don't want to over-train this year like I did last summer.  I can't tell if it's just because it's the beginning of the season, or my hip is feeling strong or what, but the 40 mile weeks are like nothing.  I remember last year hitting 40+ miles a week and averaging an 8:40 pace felt like real accomplishment.  I have to remember to keep it down a notch until fall.  I'm also really excited to be running the Utah Valley Marathon. Although I wish it were Ogden this Saturday.  I'm feeling so great right now. Maurine was saying how the first 10 miles is on asphalt.  That sucks.  I just don't want to over do it and ruin the rest of the summer at that one race.   Anyway, Yay for St. George!

Zen running, no Garmin.  Man it was breezy.  I stepped out the door in shorts and a long shirt, then back inside for a core shirt under the long shirt, and gloves, then back inside for running tights, then what the heck just go....sure glad I changed.  The temp dropped about 20 degrees.  I did love the wind though.  It's exciting to run when the trees are swaying around and the rush of the wind is louder than your thoughts.  I am still tired this week overall, but finished the run feeling cleansed by cool air and rushing wind. 

Averaged probably 8:50's maybe.  Josse had the Garmin, I just hung around  while she told me really smart stuff about how to be a better, stronger, person.  We saw the colt, who is getting bigger by the day, and three gaggles of geese. Isn't that what you call geese babies?  Out by the lake, we saw 3 mommy/daddy geese and a whole bunch of baby geese walking in a line up to get into the stream by the lake.  So many tiny geese.  And a flock of pelicans. I miss Mexico so much.  It's been 3 years since I was there last.  Those pelicans always remind me. I will be so happy this week is over.  I'm spent. 

8:38/8:51/8:56/8:51/8:34/9:15/9:18/9:18/9:54/10:04/10:05/10:03/10:21/9:15/9:03

 Why strive for negative spits, when you can strive for POSITIVE splits?!  I think that's the way to go.  Why all the negativity?  Catherine came to join me for the first 8.  She's been tempo-ing her little heart out. Without me as 41 year old deadweight around her neck, she's starting to figure out how to run FAST.  It's awesome.  She ran her first marathon at 22, and is just now seasoned enough to really turn up the volume.  It's fun to see her improve and how excited she is to do well.  She's going to have a great year.  She hates getting up early, and it was so gratifying, that once down at the pier, with the lake so high and still like mirrored glass ( pink and blue like the pre dawn sky), she turns to me and says "Ok, Ok, it's worth it."  I know only old people get up this early, but I always feel like it's a secret part of the day only I get to  have.  The most perfect part--when dawn is still  and full of promise, confident, and more lovely than anything the world has to offer when everyone else is awake and using up her energy and light.

I had the best weekend I've had in a long time. So, I'm a little sluggish today.  I enjoyed getting out early today, but was not feelin' it, as they say.  I wouldn't be surpized if I ran 10's. It seemed like it took forever and ever.  Good thing the whole world is 100% perfect to look at today.  Cool mornings, clear afternoon, every leaf, shrub and flower in full bloom & fragrant.  I love the lilacs,and bleeding hearts, the chinese poppies, my hosta is enormous!  I can't wait for the roses and spiria in early June.  They are going to breathtaking. The grass has taken a hit with the dogs, but everything else is coming up according to schedule.   As for running, pshhha. I'm beat.

I think this may be my last running season.  I'm starting to wonder why I do all this running when it's not like I'm that great at it, and the nuerotic energy that has caused me to run all these years is starting to wane as I just realize there is no 'running away' from stuff I'd rather avoid than think about.  I'm beat, and it's kind of over for me to hope for more.  Maybe I can just run less, and slower just as an excuse to be outside, which seems to be my primary source of peace right now. My daughter's friend and my son want to start running with me in the mornings.  I'm pretty sure I could get them up to 3-5 miles every few days.  If I wasn't training for two marathons a year I'd have more energy for that kind of running-- Too soon these children will be gone from my life.  I don't have a lot of things to offer in the way of being 'a good example' but I can take a couple of kids out for a jog and teach them that discipline is doing something you must do, even you don't necesarily want to do it, doing it the best that you can while you're doing it,  to finish what you start, and to count a finish as a win.  I'd like for those younger and more capable than I to pick up where I gave up. 

A word about running bras.  I wear a 32D for anyone out there like me always searching and searching for the right bra.  I want to recommend Title Nine's 'Frog Bra' and also Moving Comfort's 'Melbourne'.   Both are a total compression bra's that works for the larger busted among us.  The Moving Comfort/Melbourne is more comfortable but not as compressing.  I've used both for years, but ocassionally end up buying cheaper version sports bra's I'm never happy with. I'll never forget going to the running store a few years ago and asking the girl behind the counter (who was like 4% bodyfat and had the wiry athletic/anorexic figure you'd expect from a serious runner) who stared at me blankly when I asked her questions.  And then the manager of the store, a man, tried to come to her rescue but turned bright red and turned his face away when I asked if they sold anything athletic with "underwire".  Thanks guys!   Way to make a girl feel special about her over-sized knockers. Both of the bra's I've recommended here are pricey.  But there are less-good bra's at Sport's Authority-- my favorite being Champion Action Tech racer back.  It's not bad, but a little more bouncy than the Frog or Melbourne.  Just thought I'd share in case anyone reading this hates their...'you-know-what's'....as much as I do.  Every once and I while I see a girl bouncing mercilessly down the river path and I just wish I had a few extras to give away.

Josse came over to walk me and the dogs (ave. pace 8:40).  I thought after the exahustion I've been feeling recently that I'd be seriously lagging.  But Josse is magic and makes self-tortue fun and effortless.  She says wise and funny things and speaks of speed training and running a 6 minute mile with the same anticipation and enthusiam, with which I might speak of of ice cream.  When we finished the run and I showed her where I "ice bath" in the cold river during the summer (summer being the optimal word here).  But both our backs, knees, sciatic, piriformis-es really needed one today. So even thought it was still a little cool out, sure! Why not?! Why come to think of it, I do need to immerse myself in the snow-melt-off at 7:00 a.m.!   But, you know, once your feet and legs were numb, it wasn't actually that bad.  And don't you always feel 100% restored afterwards?  Totally worth gripping the river bank for dear life. 

2 birthdays, 1 graduation, 1 wedding and 1 funeral later..... So since Friday noon I have been wearing the same clothes and have done my best not to wreck the perfectly respectable hair-do (that took me like an hour to fix) while I visited nearly every station in the cycle of life in less than 36 hours.  We have had a huge surprise birthday party planned for a  friend turning 40 for many weeks.  Friends were coming from New York & Boston.  Then this week another close friend's son died after many years of suffering with a rare form of leukemia.  Many of the people we saw on Friday night at the party, were the same people that were at the funeral.  This was both slightly disturbing and somewhat comforting. Then a graduation and a wedding.  After laughing, crying, sighing, and then eating fried clams and a t-bone steak, I ran a bunch of miles as it rained into the dusky evening.  My mind was filled with so many sombre reflections on youth, promise, committment, aging, death. I just kep thinking, "If I had it to do all over again, I'd totally skip the fried clams before running."

Due to 4 Weddings and a Funeral we moved the long run to today.  I met Marion, Maurine, and AnaLisa at the trail head, we were dropped off at Wills so we could run up the canyon and down, and then back to my house.  AnaLisa and I went a little ahead and ran an extra mile because I have compulsive obsessive disorder and could not bring myself to turn around anywhere but Vivian Park. It was tough going today, I'm tired, and I plan on really taking the miles down a notch to see if that will help me get myself in order for UVM.  My goal is to just have a solid run.  Not even at race pace.  I'm not trying to beat prior times or anything.  I just want to finish and in good health.  When we finished we dipped for a few minutes in the river to ice our aching everything, and then walked to my house for grapes, bananas and watermelon.  When we approached the house every kid in the neighborhood was on our front lawn with water guns and playing basketball on the carport (per usual).  But what's funny is that Maurine asked if they were all mine.  So I looked over the 12 or so beautiful kids (who I'm proud to say represent every ethnicity on our planet) and said; "Yeah, but they all have different fathers"....Hey, they are all my kids and I love them. Anyway, the icy river bath did wonders and less than an hour after I thought I would die, I'm happy as a clown (because, really, are clams very happy?).11:12/10:31/10:20/10:16/10:29/10:37/10:23/10:14/11:09/9:59/10:30/9:47/10:17/10:02/10:30/10:21/11:20/11:26/10:38/10:32/10:59 AVE: 10:33

My lower back gets really fatigued after these long runs and my hip aches (yes, the one hip).  So I've been icing, stretching, and rollingpin-in it twice a day.  Surprizingly, today's run was fresh.  I was surprized how good I felt during and after.  Is it just me, or is my blog fatter than it was last week?

8:40/8:47/8:36/8:50  I ran a quick little jaunt and couldn't get around to doing my situps/pushups/stretching -- I had to get in early today.  The rivertrail has breathtaking these past mornings.  I'll be sad when they start damming up the river so it doesn't flow as high.  I've been enjoying the sound of it.  I can't wait for this week to end (last week of school).  Once everyone is out of school, I can reclaim the 6:30-8:00 a.m. spot as my own.    Ahhh, peaceful summer mornings, where my children's piano, athletic, and scholastic skills diminish by the day and are replaced by the endless reading of science fiction and fantasy novels and the eating of melons and berries.

I love my runs with Josse, even though I was having a hard time this morning.  Running 21 miles on Monday must have thrown me off a little.  But yesterday I felt great. The miles came fast and easy (well, there were only 4 of them, so that may have been part of the success).  Today the lake was beautiful. I love it when it's silver-blue in the morning.  But we no longer have the quiet stillness to ourselves.  There are more and more people are coming to the trail that early in the morning.  I hate sharing, better said, I resent it.  I feel that it is my private domain, which is certainly untrue, but nonetheless....Fair weather users!  Ran into Sasha and Jeff  from which a brief discussion ensued regarding mosquitoes and bared bottoms.  Tis' the season.  Other topics of discussion this morning included bras and things dogs do with poo.  Keepin' it Klassy!

9:00/9:02/9:04/9:16/9:02/9:12/9:37/9:41/9:05/9:53/10:19/10:04-- It was tough week for me.  This is a busy time of year.  Luckily Catherine came down and ran with me.  It was so great to see her.  I'll see her more when we're getting ready for Saint George. Today,  I didn't take my dogs this hoping to appease the thousands of old and grumpy people on the trail on this lovely Saturday morning (it's usually pretty crowded on weekends).  Ironically, we never saw anyone the whole first 8 miles (except running past Sasha and Jeff). Then just as people were getting out around 7:00, this stray dog started running with us.  She had a collar, but never left us for 4 miles-so everyone thought she was mine.  I got all the same glares and she wasn't even my dog!  If they were going to glare at me anyway, I should have just brought my own dogs.  I can't believe I sacrificed my dog's morning run, only to be glared at for someone else's dog!  At the very last, the meanest, scariest lady of all ran past that dog (who was standing in  the middle of the trail  watching people go by) while I was "icing" in the river.  The lady turned and glared down the river bank at me and said "A leash would be nice!". I thought about yelling up at her  "It's not my Dog!"--but then started thinking.  Just get over it lady--that dog is not barking, or even in your way.  In fact, maybe people like you shouldn't venture outside if you are inconvenienced by small children, strollers, dogs, or anyone who doesn't wear a straightjacket.  I understand traffic rules where there are bike lanes and cars. I would never bring my dogs to the other end of the trail without a leash.  But are we all so inconvenienced by each other, the only place to feel  a little freedom is in the wilderness or out in the country? I guess I'll be the first one to be arrested when the leash police show up next week. Personally I think being conscientious about letting people pass, training your dogs to heal and sit, is 100% better than a leash--especially those retractable ones.  I choose to live here so I could use this trail to run and walk my dogs.  If you don't like it, there's plenty of trail on the other end of the canyon you should use. Besides which, I feel personally responsible for making the trail a safer place for others by bringing my dogs, can of mace, and a general bravado towards the perverts and drug dealers.  I've run off so many undesireables in the past 10 years, the police know me name and have my phone number.  I feel my vigilantism has paid off.  Creepy stuff has become less frequent in recent years.  I refuse to give up that outdoor space to hobos and high teenagers.  I did that so that me and that up-tight lady could also enjoy the bike trail with less public nuisence.  Man, two long runs in 6 days, and 2 nights of not sleeping more than 4 hours has really wrecked me.  Maybe after a nap I'll feel more civil.

I lived!  The past 9 days has really been a ride. Although I ran close to 50 miles last week, my 'long' run was only 12 miles. Then due to Sunday, and work going from 4:00 a.m. to 11:00 p.m. on Monday, I couldn't get away.  Two days later.....I ran 5 miles, decided to use the sides of the trail rather than the asphault and had an amazing run.  All that spongy debris gave me confidence to really stride.  That plus I enjoyed the small obstacle challenges.  At the end, I did have to get back on the pavement toward the end, and felt like sprinting-- I went  all out for about 1/16th. I felt great.   Hips and back are feeling much better after the rest.

Josse and I switched our day--which works better for both of us (well, now that it's summer).  She needs to take it easy post hard Tuesday work-outs, and I need to ramp it up.  8:30's are my race pace and 8:30's is her 'easy' pace.  Today I didn't bring my dogs-- and what do you think-- no one was on the trail to be bothered.  Figures.  It was a nice  cool morning, but darker with the few clouds in the East.  The river wasn't quite as cold today as it was last week (rain run off instead of snow melt is my guess).  These rainy days have left everything so lush, fragrant, and green. I can't get over the smell and the feeling in the air.   Everything is so alive. The river is running high and the sound of it almost takes my breath away.  The rain has left the air humid, I can feel it on my skin (especially when I stop running and I'm suddenly dripping rivulets of sweat).  My yard (although filled with weeds) is about to explode with roses.  I cut two of my favorites that have just bloomed to perfection (Hope and Ingrid Bergman) to Josse to take back to her daughter. I should see a whole bush full of them in the next 4 days.  Roses are just so fat and proud and strong.  It's hard to not get all poetic about them.

I woke up this morning in my clothes, in the exact same position I fell asleep in.  I thought I was going to lay down for just a second while my kids got ready for bed around 9:30.  I was really disoriented when I opened my eyes.  It was really, really light outside and I thought it was still the afternoon of the day before.  How's that for exhausted?  Don't ask me why.  It's latent I guess from last week.  Sadly, I slept right through my running hour and had to go to work all slovenly and unbathed.  Luckily it was cool and cloudy when I got to run in the very late afternoon.  The river is at an almost frightening level.  I've never seen it this high in June.  I guess the resevoir is full and they're letting more downstream.  Every week  I tell myself I'm going to get a kayak.  I'm kicking myself I don't have one right this second.  Saw a girl riding her bike down the trail today and she was reading a book.  I've tried to walk and read, but ride a bike and read? 

10:06/9:51/8:39/8:32/8:46/9:39 

Ran the first 2.5 easy.  Ran into Jeff and Sasha around the lake about 2.5, turned around to run a 1 + with them before they started an interval.  Nice to have a good reason to run faster than I would alone.  Sasha likes to point out, in an encouraging way, when we're running an 8 m/m pace.  I know I can run a few miles that way.  I've run a few 7:45' in races and attempting tempo runs.  I just don't LIKE to.  It's hard. Just being ouside for an hour or more every day is my victory. I know, it's sad to enjoy something I'm not even that good at.  So, everyone's doing Utah Valley next week.  Sasha and Jeff (or maybe just Jeff) are going to try to "slow" their first miles to 5:50's to see if it saves them energy to do 4:50s (?) for the last 6.  They talked to me of fat vs. carb burning paces, and why not just run fast at the earlier part of the race if you're just going to burn the same....Me and my 10 minute mile just couldn't agree more!!  My goals for UVM are lofty. ...I just don't want to fall down and break my hip.  I know, I know, aim for the stars!

We didn't leave until 7:00 but the morning was fresh along the trail. I was surprized it was such a beautiful morning;  pristine skies, cool air, river high.   There was still some dust left over from the winds yesterday and the lake was all churned up from the run-off, but still.  It was steeple chase morning. Days after big wind there are millions of tree branches that line the trail you have to avoid or jump over. If the trail had been clear, I might have put reins on Catherine and brought my rollerblades. She's running with such grace and ease.  I need to get her running with some real runners, but she's shy.  I enjoy our runs so much, but I'm just not running like I have in years past. It makes me feel bad to be holding her back. She's only 26 and has so much room for improvement.  She's been on her treadmill running 7:30's for like half an hour at a time.  It's not in me to not try and encourage her to do her best. Today, it took me real effort to maintain a 8:59 pace for the whole distance. I don't know what to think. That used to be my easy pace.  If I run more miles and train more, speed picks up naturally, but then I'm at higher risk for injury/re-injury.  If I run slower, I lose some running friends (if not lose them, slow them down and become their charity partner).  I just don't know why it's so different this year.  But I have to take the taper more seriously this time around, and I'm not going to push next Saturday other than to make an honest effort.  I am looking forward to it--although that loopy-loop at the end is making me crazy to think about.  By the time I hit 23 I become violently exhausted and angry about it.  I have not yet been able to refocus that energy inward. Considering this, I just do not want to run a mile loop before the finish line.  What a crappy ending. I've got to mentally prepare for that one.

What a beautiful run in the fresh, luscious morning rain. The freshly blooming everything and rushing river have me filled to overflowing with a daily quota of green beauty and fragrance.  I got new shoes last week and now they only have 14 or so miles.  So they feel great.  Although, I have yet to use them for a long run so I'm not sure if I should use them for Saturday-- or stick to my old faithfuls that are 26.2 miles short of 500.  I ran 4 miles today (instead of the 5-6 I wanted) trying to hold back,. I remembered last Fall,  right befor SGM,  I ran into Sasha on the trail who told me I was running too fast.  So today, and all week I will make a conscienteous effort to go easy.  Of course, when I got home, I did a million things, thereby negating all effects of the 'easy' run....Whatever. 

I ran 3 easy miles with my resentful 10 year old son tagging along.  He'd WANTED to come, he'd been ASKING to come with me (on MY runs, in the mornings).  We've run 2 miles together lots of times with pretty good success.  So I picked the day I'd be running the easiest, gave him  plenty of warning the day before, and got him up, while my daughter was at soccer.  He whined the whole way, lagged behind much of the time, but then would sprint meters ahead of me.  He walked maybe 1/3 of the distance. I was trying to keep in mind all of the things my Dad would said to me while we ran.  But I was too scared of my Dad to be that resentful or lag that far behind.  So I didn't even know what to say but to keep running slowly and be positive and encouraging when he did pick up his heels.  I want him to like it, eventually. He ran an 8 minute mile this year at school (down from 9 m/m last year) and won the Presidential Physical Fitness award (only 1 of 2 winners, if you can believe that).  So I thought he'd be ready for 3 .  I hope we get to do it many more times this summer to practice and improve his consistancy. In the meantime, I don't know what I did to my back/pririformis yesterday.  I leaned over to pick something up and put it in the garbage, and it was like someone plucked a guitar string in my lower back down through my leg. I iced/ibuprofened and everything, but it's still sore and I'm not walking without pain.  Darn, I almost made it 100% to the start....I've been so careful. I'll panic manana if it's not any better.

Thank you to Josse who blogged a positive affirmation that I chanced to read just before bed. " I WILL get better"  I said this over and imagined it over again as I went to sleep (while lying on top of a blue gel ice pack and 800 mg of Ibuprofen).  I woke up and the pain was about 70% gone.  I  took my daughter to soccer and then ran a really easy 3.  It is so lush outside it almost brings me to tears.  I can't wait for Saturday just because I'm pretty sure it's going to be a beautiful cool-ish day going down the canyon. Just as I was stretching my finish, Sasha and Jeff passed and invited me to another mile. So we jogged and chatted about Sarah and Kimya and Saturday.  I've now been sitting on ice for over 48 hours, and I have to warn you (in case you didn't know) ice really does burn your skin.  In a panic to get that piriformitis under control, I've left pillowy red welts on my bum from sitting on blue gel ice packs.

Ten years ago today the nurse midwife looked at my huge belly and said "You do realize you're pregnant? Surely you understand that the baby has to come out sometime."  This she said to me as I was 2 weeks overdue with no labor in sight.  I liked that lady.  She talked tough and grew up with cowboy brothers on a farm in Wyoming.  She had the hands and skin to prove it. Her confidence in birthing stuff won me over and eight hour later, in spite of my reluctance to turn myself inside out that day, she delivered my son and handed him to me in a single motion. He was hot, 98.6 degrees, and steamy fresh.  It was shocking.  It was surprising how he was not there one second, and then right there the next.  Within five minutes I couldn't believe I'd ever lived any part of my life without him.  Now it's my job to make him dislike me enough to want to move away from me and make his own life.  Weird how that works.  Happy Birthday Son! Thanks for ruining my lower abdomen, it's not your fault....really. No problem.

ZERO miles and good luck sleeping tonight.

RivertonPaul made my day with his posts.  "True beauty includes a full figure".  "You can't afford to be skinny!".  AMEN to that.  (Really, who wants to nibble the meat off a bone when you can have the whole steak :)   That's just what I needed to lighten my day because I always gain 3 pounds taper week without trying.  I'm trying to be calm about it.  But wish I could have eaten a dozen cupcakes to have at least DESERVED gaining that much weight.  I'll bet carb loading is overreated anyway. 

First of all, I am happy to report that I achieved my goal of finishing the freaking marathon without breaking more stuff.  Yay!  So to that end, I'm at peace.  I hated being licked at SG last fall.  I know people don't care about their finisher medals, but it smarted not to finish, and be beat by my hip and the weather than shrank all my tendons.  I am again, a marathon finisher.  But really, I went into it knowing that I would sink my time.  I was sort of looking forward to underachieving and having fun, which I did. Tons.  Maurine, who we will now refer to as Miles, picked me up at 4:20 a.m.  I forgot or failed to bring any single support item, including my Garmin (who cares anyway, right?).  Miles loaned me one of her old watches (which around mile 24 came in handy to see just how badly I was botching the race :)  Seriously, it was so fun. I rode the busses Miles (on Sherpa detail for Marion), Marion, and Smooth.  The weather was PERFECT, there is just no way to stress how perfect it was.  I went across the starting line with absolutely no expectations except to finish.  I was filled with the awesome beauty of the canyon, did love Carterville Road instead of the trail,  and by 13.1 had run my fastest half marathon ever--I was 1:54 by the watch and 1:57 by the timer. For a while there, I considered a 3:50 finish, but my back/hip really started to ache by 15 and kept it SLOW after that.  Around the time I slowed down a very annoying Englishman wanted to pace with me and began talking about how the Pakistani's and African Immigrants are ruining England, and how there are only 5 "whites" on the city council in Manchester and Leeds (the whole place is like 70% Packi's he said) ( I then  pointed out that at least it was representative of the population and offered that I was married to a foreigner, and then he finally shut up and fell back--which was my goal).   Funny, I love to share my weekday and long runs with friends when I can, but I do not like to talk or listen to you talk during races. Mile 18 was my house, where I had to wait about 3 minutes because every kid in the neighborhood had made me a sign and a cheering squad that was 'not quite ready' by the time I was going by.  Quick kisses and hugs all the way around, then gorgeous home turf running.  What a gorgeous day, did I mention that?  The birds were so loud, the river so wide and clean. Ahhh.  But I was hurting and knew that I wouldn't really know where I stood time-wise until mile 24.  No Bathrooms for 2 miles at the end of the race sucked.  I had to wait literally 10 minutes (3 people deep) for the one port-a-potty in 5 miles.  As I expected, by that time I was over 4:00 and just gave it up compeltely and started stopping to stretch, walk and jog.  It was very liberating to do whatever the heck I wanted to do.  Then as I was coming to the end, there were all my kids (mine and the neighborhood) waiting to run me to the end.  My finishing picture will have at least four 12 year old girls ushering me to the finish.  I could not have been happier.  Smooth came in next , AnnaLisa.  Then I checked the numbers for Josse (awesome) and Sasha and Jeff.  It made me very happy for them.  Then I sadly noticed that if I had held a decent pace from 23 miles on, I would have placed 5th in my division.  That was sort of a bummer to realize it wasn't as much of a throw away race as I'd imagined...oops. I guess there's next year.  Then a bit later Marion and Miles.  It made me cry to see them. Inspiring for the amount of support Maurine offered, and the insistance and will of Marion to finish.  Then I drank 2 free bottles of chocolate milk, ate a creamy and went home with my whole gang.  What a happy day!

Question: Why do your kids build a huge Star-Wars Multi-Teird Lego Universe on the stairs the day AFTER the marathon?  Answer:  Because it's just not funny enough already to watch you go down them.  Who knew I worked my quads that much?  I thought that because my effort was so easy, I'd escape the lactic acid build up. But I did keep an 8 minute pace (which is a good race pace for me) for about 15 miles. I guess that was enough.  Glad I could give them a laugh.

I aggressively stretched hips, quads, glutes, hams last night and again this morning.  both yesterday and today, I ran super slow, very enjoyable 2 miles.  But I could feel my back/hip/bum stiff and inflexible.  It did feel like it was the right thing to try to run a bit though.  Get thing moving.  Came home, did 400 sit ups, 40 push ups, and several sun salutations.  Here's a great story.  I got pulled over for speeding yesterday (I know, if I could run as fast as I drive....).   The officer came over to the car to get my lisence/registration....saw the marathon medal on the passenger seat and asked me if I ran on Saturday, how I'd placed (I told him 11th in my division) and then he just looked ahead, patted my roof and said "have a nice day, slow down."   I didn't realize you could run a marathon in lieu of traffic school.  Awesome.

I arose from the dead about Thursday.  I will spare you the sad details of my illness, but suffice it to say, I did not run for 12 days.  I have missed my faithful running pals. Thank you all for your well wishes, phone calls, and kind thoughts. I arose very late this morning (8:00 a.m.) to learn first hand what the term "Muffin Top" actually means.  Now, I lost 3-5 pounds being sick, but as the theory of relativity would have it, I also lost all muscle tone and gravity is having a heyday.  I put on my running clothes  to find my bosom overflowed my running bra, and a spare tire grew above the waistline of my shorts.  How can you have lost 5 pounds and be fatter than you were before? How does your body decide to divy up the new distribution of fat? Apprently my waist and bust have been silently duking it out over who gets the extra flab (not to be outdone by the flacid upper arm).  I know, gross.  Enough.  But what's worse than being sick and flabby, is vanity.  Anyhow, I tried to run 4 miles and I felt like the unoiled tin man creaking down the trail. The dogs however were elated.  

8:45's. My body remembers,it's my lungs still catching up. But I think the running helps speed up circulation. I listened to music today while I ran (which I NEVER do).  Yesterday I was putting together a mix for the Red-Hot-Pink-Chick's half marathon (my gift to those running it) and while I was at it, I put together a late 70's era metal mix (AC/DC, Aerosmith, Black Sabbath, etc.).  It's half irony and half nostalgia, but it sure gets the job done you're not quite 100%. 

I can not believe the difference a day makes.  I was so great yesterday, I did not expect what happened today.  I could not pick it up.   I was giving my absolute best effort only to discover I was running 9:45's.  I was out of breath, exhausted, and felt like I weighted 500 lbs.  When I got home I actually did weigh myself and was shocked that I'd actually dropped 2 more pounds (not to worry folks, I've got plenty to survive on).  I must be dehydrated and not quite better yet.  Wow.  I am so tired.  When I finished I was sweaty and spent as if I had run a marathon.  I've been waffeling about the Freedom Run, and as sad as it is to say this, I think that for the first time in 8 years, I think I'll skip it or go just to cheer for Catherine and anyone else whose running it. 

At least with the cloud cover it makes running in the later morning not totally unbearable.  I won't even blog about how slow and terrible the run was.  But I always say how grateful I am to go outside and be outside at least once a day.  So I'll stay focused on that fact.  The last few years I've taken sequence pictures while running down the trail and back (in every season of the year) so that I could click through them during times I can't actually be outside.  I haven't had the ocassion to use them (which is good).  So today, the good news is, I was able to be with my river & trees, and enjoy the feeling the sultry summertime air on my skin.  That has to be enough for today.

I got out earlier today which was nice to give it my day's first effort.  My kids have been doing Tennis lessons at 8:00 a.m. and I get really bent out of shape when their summer activities take a bite out of my beloved 6:00-8:30 zone. I look forward all school year to getting that time back for myself.  I need those two hours, or trust me, you don't want to be around me the rest of the day--or after 9:30 p.m. because that's when I turn into psycho-drama-exhausted-I-may-kill-you-if-I-don't-SLEEP-now-Mommy.  So really, there's just no good time to be around me, which explains a lot, now that I think about it.  Today, I felt  better, but who knows really, I ditched the Garmin two days ago in an effort to erase mental expectations.  I realized today how much muscle I've lost in the past two weeks.  Not just water, and weight, but muscle.  I am a pretty muscular person underneath all the layers, and being sick ate my muscular strength. I need to build that back up, it's just weird to go from running a happy-healthy Marathon to square one.  Happy July everyone!!  P.S. Crenshaw Melon is totally better than Cantelope in case you were wondering.

Beautiful place, running with dear old pals.  Happy, Happy, Happy July 3rd!!!

In my hometown, there are only about 2,000 people (it's on a hill top in East San Diego).  So on July 4th, they have their own parade.  About 200 people walk about a mile in a circle around the community.  It is the kind of parade where everyone dresses in crazy red-white-and-blue ensembles and ride their horses (with manes braided in patriotic ribbons) or motorcycles (decked with tiny flags waving)  i.e. Hickville Southern California.  While I was thinking about the 4th of July, and running the old Parade route, I remembered July 4, 1976-- the year of the bi-centennial.  I was 8 years old, my mother had died less than a month before, and I was walking my dog in the parade looking for her face along the crowd even though I knew she wouldn't be there.  I can not believe that was 33 years ago.   Thankfully much  better memories this year for me and my children on this 4th of July.  Parades, home-made snow cones, fireworks, grilled foods, all the regular stuff.  It's nice to be reminded of where I came from, but am so grateful to call Utah home.  I forgot how unforgiving tank tops are for the general population of Southern California. 

What a beautiful day!  I feel good (maybe it was all the food over the weekend that got my strength back up).  Ran 9:15's which is getting back to 'normal'.  I ran some extra miles over the weekend, but slow, slow miles.  I've felt pretty ok since Friday.  And today felt fairly close to normal-nothing like last week.  We'll see how it goes this week throwing in some exta miles.  

8:40/9:13/8:43/9:55/9:37/8:58/9:58  I ran through a swarm of mosquitos/crane flies by the lake so dense that their high pitched moan could be heard for 50 feet in either direction.  It was creepy to be pelted by insects big enough to feel upon impact while the (naturally-occuring) soundtrack from the Excorcist played above my head.  Aside from the hot July sun, already burning by 6:30 a.m.-- today's effort was moderatly strenuous with little results.  It is a big improvement however, over last week.  I am not sure that I'm going to be running any races at all this month and will hopefully aim for a strong run at the Hobble Creek Half in late August.  I had no idea it would take me this long to recover-- and then try to regain what was lost.  I am so happy to be running!  And for the clear sunny July skies--however hot. 

9:25's.  I've added 2 miles a day to what I did last week.  Maybe that's too much a jump, but I'm a little behind for SG training.  I haven't been able to do one long run yet since UVM and "the illness".  So I'm a little panicked about when I will feel well enough to put a 9-12'er (and beyond) into the bank.  Last saturday I ran 5 in the a.m. and another 4 in the p.m. just to get 9 into the day.  But I really stuggled yesterday with 7.  Change of subject: I have to brag for Catherine.  She and I ran together a lot a few  years back and we have trained for SGM together for 3 years. She and I always sort of ran about the same 9 m/m pace.  Earlier this Spring her sister sort of one-upped-her by bragging about 7 minute miles she ran during a triatholon (I hope she doesn't mind me telling).  Ever since, Catherine's been on fire. In March she started to add speed training to her distance.  She's so funny because I think she started running marathons first at the age of 21 and then had run 5 SGM's before she ever ran any other kind of race.  This spring she ran the half in Moab and did pretty well (better m/m than any of ther marathons), and then, this Saturday, she finished the Freedom Run 10K in 47 minutes!   When she decided to ramp it up, she rocked the house. Her mental tenacity astonishes me.  I'm also really jealous I'm not 26 right now.  I've learned so much about running in the past 10 year, and now I'm too pooped out to do anything about it.  I think I also just lost my SGM buddy :)  But I think it's awesome.

One of the things I like about Utah is that the evening and morning air really cools down--not like East or West Coast where the humidity carries the swealtering heat into the night.  Last night the golden evening air was so tepid and perfect, I had to get out again. It felt almost like taking a dip in the ocean at sunset--it gave me that feeling of relaxation and release to be by the river at dusk. And then again, this morning, I stepped out the door and was met by an immediate wave of fresh, clean, dry, cool air.  Of course, it quickly heated up once the sun made its way over the mountains, but what a beautiful way to end and then start the day in perfect tranqulity. On the trail, some fisherman left a pile of bread by the riverside (for bait?).  Anyway, my dog ran toward it and scarfed it down like she was a stray, desperate and panicked.  It was probably about half a loaf.  Poor thing, we don't eat enough white bread at my house apparently :)  In spite of the gorgeous morning, the run was a struggle still. I keep running thinking that one of these days  it's going to feel like it used to feel (faster). 

I can't post fast miles yet because I'm still struggling to get from 10's back to 9/sub-9's.  Today was that day though.  I ran 9:05/9:47/9:03/9:15/9:04/8:47/8:43.  I stopped at mile 3.2 for a breather and a stretch-- but ran the other miles solid.  I can't tell you how hard it's been these past 14 days.  I was struggling to maintain 10's and 11's all last and this week.  I ran a few sub 9:00's but the effort was unlike anything I've ever felt.  So at least today was "normal".  I'm just going to tell myself that it took 2 weeks to break down muscle mass, and 2 weeks to build it back up.  I'm just thrilled that running 9's didn't kill me.  Cause if the running didn't kill me this morning, a slumberparty with 10 twelve year old girls tonight probably will.  

Last night a small group of neighborhood boys were suddenly skateboarding and 'hanging out' in front of my house around 8:00 p.m. (imagine that, my house, of all places!) .  Those were smart boys though. I had the cutest girls within a 5 mile radius under one roof.  Needless to say, I was awake the entire night listening to endless rounds of "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedignfiled, and watching Napoleon Dynamite, and trying to decide if I should put a limit on how many salt and vinegar chips should be eaten by any one girl.  Then up at 5:30 a.m. after ZERO sleep for a run in the canyon with the RHPC!  It was a mighty pink group, including a few of brave, brave men who also ran.  I drove a group to the start and ran back to my car, so I only ran 10 of the 13 (9:25/8:56/9:10/9:32/9:08/8:32/8:31/8:42/8:58/9:00).  I wasn't sure it would be a good idea to do 13 since I have not run more than 7 miles in almost a month. I did have a 40+ week though, so that's good I guess.  I'll work my way back the long runs in the next 2 weeks. I just am trying not to push it so I'll have some gas in the tank for Hobble Creek and St. George.   Anyway, it was absolutely awesome to see friends!  I ran 3 miles with Rachael, but was totally holding her back.  It was nice to be up the canyon, the weather was perfect until the end when it rained on our parade.  I got the pickled chicken feet prize from Smooth and am looking forward 'trying' them.  I wonder though what Rachael is gonna do with those pink fish-net gloves.....hmm.  So great to see everybody and finally meet some new faces.  I was home in time to serve waffles with whipped cream and strawberries and mitigate one last round of pictionary.  I'm beat.  Thanks Marion for all the "grown-up" fun this morning!!!

I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and immediately went back to sleep.  That was one great weekend. But Mondays...who needs 'em? Sheesh.  I tried to run at lunch, which was a bad idea.  It was 97 degree by 11:00 a.m. already.  I made my kids ride their bikes with me down to the lake while I ran alongside.  It took half my energy just to get them out the door and onto their bikes.  Then my son spent 3 miles pontificating about why he was glad he wasn't a woman (mostly revolving around the baby-having aspects, including stretchmarks and fatness).  Thanks for your support son!  Why, I just LOVE it....Why, there are so many benefits to being a woman, let me name a  few .... #@%$#%!!!!  I tried to point out he wouldnt have been born had I not been a woman.  But then he suggested I could be his father. Again, way to appreciate my feminine mystique there kiddo.  I'm sure I missed a really spiritual opportunity to explain the divine nature of women;  all our moral supremecy, and nuturing superiority, etc.  But I just told him to back off or I'd give him pickled chicken feet for lunch. 

 9:43's.  I could not add any speed at all to the run.  My goal was to just get through it before 8:00 a.m.  Yesterday, I did a few fast(er) 1/16th segments (every third triangle marking on the trail)--but it was so hot and my son was talking to me in a way that I found upsetting and distracting. So it was not a good effort.  I just couldn't muster the strength to do any speed today.  I hope that being on vacation will give me a bit of a break.  I have not had one second of mental down time in over 7 months.  I had a brief respite in March, but I am wound so tight, and then getting sick put me behind by 2 weeks in every way.  Maybe it's just the week before and the week after vacation suck and that's the way it is. 

The running gods are not smiling on me this month.  I wanted to be running 40+ mile weeks (which I have) to compensate for the lack of long run (as I'm getting stronger again).  Just when I'm getting there.... during the 9 mile run yesterday, a sharp knee pain that plagued me during the run has intensified and bothered me all night and again today.  It hurts to go up and down stairs, to balance my lower torso when doing half-push ups, while doing yoga, walking, turning quickly etc.  I strapped blue gel ice packs to each knee yesterday and today, with no results.  It's on the inside, bottom of my knee cap.  Sharp, stinging kind of pain.  It just came on and is unlike a general achy pain that I associate with fatigue or overuse.  I do have a tendency for rotating tendonitis and I wonder if this is the latest case (I sure hope it's not like a torn meniscus or something).  I will be biking probably 25-30 miles on the stationary a few days in a row and keep my fingers crossed.  I just keep losing ground toward my late summer/ fall running goals.

I did 2 hours on the stationary bike (I watched a whole movie in one sitting. Wow!).  The readout says I burned like 800 calories, but there's no way.  It is hard to pedal, and it makes you sweat like a river, but once you're done nothing feels tired except your butt where you sit.  Afterwards I ran a little 2 miler just to help my quads loosen up, and the knee felt pretty darn good.  I'll rest tommorrow for good measure.  I'll be in South Carolina this time tommorrow.  Can't you just feel the sunshine?  Can't you just feel the moonshine?  Just like a friend of mine who hit me from behind-- wait, what kind of song is that anyway?

I flew into the tiniest airport (Florence), and within 20 minutes of being in South Carolina I had eaten every single thing I came for:  Boilt peenuts (i.e. boiled peanuts), dilly beans, chow-chow, garden tomatoes and figs fresh and moist off my grandfather's tree.  We'd driven past the Farmer's market before heading to the farm and I could not believe the beautiful produce.  we bought  pounds of the fattest blackberries, sweetest blueberries and peaches.  We got field peas, black eyed peas, sweet 'taters, and collard greens.  Have I mentioned how much I like fresh food?  Well.   So today I decided to run from the farm out to the Magnolia Cemetary where my mother's buried, and where we recently put my father's gravestone.  When asking my aunt to remind me how to get to the cemetary from the farm, this is what she said in her deep southern drawl: "It's juhst 2 mihles daown Darlington Road, turn left up Carolina Avenue past Ko-Kur (Coker) College, then just keep on a'goin until you see the cedar and magnolias linin' the road.Y'all be kerful, them cars is danjrous along that highway."  Highway?  Oh, she meant the road.  So I ran to the cemetary, saw the gravesites (4.25/9:06' ave) then back to the farm.  But my aunt was right, those country roads have NO sholders.  So you have to run in the thick grass along the side of the road to avoid getting hit by a car.  It was hard to run through all that thick grass, and itchy.  When I got back to the farm, I thought I'd run one circle around the circumfrerance to see how many miles 100 acres would be--turns out 1.1 miles by the Garmin.  I sweat like a freaking pig, my clothes were absolutely drenched.  What's the benefit of sea level training again?  Training your lungs to suck the oxygen out of 100% humidity?

So, we pack up the car with every single thing imagineable (umbrellas, floats, watermelons, sheets, distilled water, an electric frying pan,etc.) I'm riding in the back with desk lamps and rolled up towels falling onto my head from the stuff piled high in the far back of the van every time my Aunt brakes at a four way stop or merges into traffic.  We're finally on our way to Myrtle Beach. Then my cousin, says from the front seat, how she'd spent the whole flight into town next to this  total "North Carolina Hick" on the flight.  So from the back, I look at the crazy mengerie in the car, thinking we looked more like Oakies esaping the dust bowl than people going on a beach trip, and I say sarcastically "Sure, those North Carolina hicks are totally different than those South Carolina hicks" as I lift my feet to make room for the watermelon rolling across the floorboard.  However, we arrived at the beach and instinctively gulped big breaths of the thick salt air, and then drove immediately to Walmart...Like I said, those South Carolina Hicks (Walmart) are totally not like the North Carolina Hicks (Piggly Wiggely).   Anyway, as the sun rose in front of the beachhouse this morning, the tide was so low, all the flat sand allowed runners and walkers to form a two lane highway.  I ran from pier to pier (4 miles/ 9:38) and then up to the inlet where North Myrtle Beach is pristine and undeveloped.  I stood on the inlet and watched as the tide came in and thought "This is the place of my mother's childhood."  And, somehow I could feel in my veins, while standing there, the same heady freedom and sultry optimism she must have felt as a young teenage girl spending summers on these beaches.      

I am on the back porch of the beach house sitting in a white rocking chair under the spell of profound peace and tranquility. The sea oats growing on the dunes are blowing in the breeze and just over their bowing heads, the ocean is silver green and restless.   The constant crashing of the waves, has, as it always does, washed clean my mind.  Today I ran 8.2 miles just by heading south and turning around at 4.1 miles.  The tide was not out as far this morning, and so I had to run on the softer sand.  As I ran down the beach, I passed people doing Yoga, Tai Chi, fast and slow runners, walkers, and fishermen.  The day was overcast, and actually rained as I ran, so I felt I could run for longer.  I'm still only averaging 9:32's with a pretty good deal of effort, but at least I'm feeling stronger. One of my best friends in all the world, her husband and their family (who also happen to be havng a family reunion here in Myrtle Beach) dropped by this morning and we all walked to the inlet with the kids, and caught hundreds of hermet crabs in the tide pools.  We spent the morning swimmng and then ate sandwiches on the beach under the umbrellas.  Now, they've gone, and as I sit on the porch in the cleansing wind,  listening to the far off thunder, I await the arrival of my big sis.  She is driving down from DC and bound to arrive at any moment.  This may be the best day in the world; to be loved and cherished by my aunt, cousins, best friends, and my sister all in one day.  Also, did I mention I'm at the beach?