Patience; the new endurance sport.

I am going to miss my baby toenail.  It was bruised after Boston and it hurt. I was pretty sure it was going to fall off.  But then it never did. And so finally, with the onset of sandal weather, I  celebrated by getting a pedicure. But when the girl was cutting and filing my toenail, it fell halfway off, hanging onto just one side of my toe.  Surprized, she looked up at me appologetically like it was her fault.  Now what am I supposed to do?  Tear it the rest of the way off and paint four nails?  Paint a pretened nail in the space my nail used to be?  I had her paint it and leave it on, but it's only halfway attached.

Besides a warm up and cool down mile, I ran 100 Yard strides once a mile for 4 miles while my daughter rode her bike along with me.  She's a big soccer star now and wants to learn to run and do sprints/explosives to be better conditioned for next fall. She's got a big team try-out tomorrow.  It was nice to think I could have my daughter running with me sometimes.  What a beautiful day!  I love the post-rain air and the green so lush it shines in the morning sun.  Whenever it feels like this, I close my eyes and make-believe I'm on the East coast. 

It was cloudy and cool, so I got up late.  Ran down the trail, bridgemakers be darned, I wantonly trespassed. I am sick of them on my trail.  There is still a lot of humidity from the rain earlier in the week.  Felt great on my skin.  Everyone on the trail was happy today, especially the guy with the 3 legged collie who I had to stop and pet.  So cute, hobbleing along on his 3 legs.  I love animals, they just keep on-keeping-on.  No memories, no regrets, just moving forward however that can be accomplished--happy to be on the leash, happy to be outside. Later in the Day my friends Nancy & Jim, here from Colorado for the Squaw Peak 50 Miler, took me to where I will walk up Big springs 4 miles to Aid station 9 to meet Jim tommorrow.  I'm a little nervous.  I will have to hike 4 miles by myself along a trail I am not familiar with, and then run 10 miles down with Jim who will most likely be delirious.  I asked him what he wanted me to do should he be delirious or hammered beyond capacity.  He said I was welcome to carry him on my back the rest of the way down the mountain. Hilarious.  I should have told him I'd smear his face with bacon grease and just leave him to the mountain lions.  I'm actually looking more forward to tommorrow's trail running than UVM next Saturday.

I am at a loss abot how to blog about today.  I thought 12 m/m on a trail would be a step down from trying to run distance alone and all I can say is Marathon running is child's play compared to bushwacking.  Holy effing frick-n-frack.  Seriously.  K, first of all, I ran a mile up the wrong hill, and the young man who instructed me to do so, ran all the way after me to let me know I had gone the wrong way.  Nice save....I would have run 4 extra miles up hill and I would have been eaten by mountain lions.  He felt so guilty about misdirecting me he offered to go with me to aid station 9 about 7 miles from the bottom.  I want to say, it was the most beautiful, amazing back woods, Wasatch Mountain magesty, but truly what I want to report is HOLY HECK, how in the world do they do that for FIFTY, count 'em FIFTY FREAKING miles.  I want to cry right now just thinking about how hard  my 17 was.  On the way up, ran into Davy Crockett who was heading down in about 15th place.  He looked totally nonplussed.  Oh Hi! Luzy Lew, 46 miles over knee deep snow and 45 degree incline, 6,800 foot altitude--no big deal. Sure. I was fine for the moment once I got to the aid station after climbing through mud and snow for over a mile and a half.  I did not even notice the multiple scraps and mud caked onto my lower legs, or worry about my wet muddy shoes and socks.  My new friend Matt had run up the whole mountain without water, I noticed when we arrived.  So I shared mine with him.  He was such a sweetheart and did what he could to protect me from slding down the rocky cliffs and  just be there when the three homeless guys came out of the bushes. Seriously, if Matt hand't come with me, I wouldn't have made it all the way up to the aid statin (a), and (b) I would have been all alone in a scary back mountain 5 miles from freaking anywhere.  I would have been lost out there at least 4 times.  Bless young, handsome Matt and his Great Harvest bread making, Unviersity Psychology studying, from a hog farming from Missouri little self. Were it not for him, I would be strapped to a tree by three sunburned homeless guys wondering how I got way out there in the mountains by myself. The run down was rough.  I slid down that snow and mud and almost tripped myself off a cliff at least a hundred times.  I wanted to cry and only kept thinking of Jim ahead of me who had run over 40 miles.  Since I was 'the pacer' I had to be all strong right?  I was the 'fresh' one.  Mother of all that is holy, coming down that mountain started to make me think of that guy Aaron whats-his-name who cut off his own hand when it was pinned under a rock for 3 days.  It's not like you can even DNF that race.  Whose gonna come get you?  You still have to go down the mountain on your own two legs, even if you're not running anymore.  It was the scariest thing I think I've ever put myself up to and it makes Marathon running look like eating an ice cream sundae in a fancy ice cream parlour.  Jim's wife Nancy met us at the last aid station and paced us to the bottom.  I was 100% out of gas.  I thought this was going to be an easy, slow down hill run.  I ran 21 last Saturday and was not expecting the challenge that I faced today.  Once we finished I dove into the fishing pond  at Vivian with my Blackberry still in my back pocket.  I was so tired and filty from the trail I didn't  even care.  We said goodbye to my dear friends Jim & Nancy and took off.  I have NEVER, in all of my life wanted to get into the bathtub more than I wanted to today.  I can't believe I didn't die today, in so many ways.  Whoa. Who knew Squaw Peak 50 miles actually translates to like 100 regular road miles.  Man, I am a BABY, a tiny poppy diapered whiny baby compared to those guys.  Wow.

When I told Josse how thrashed my legs were yesterday, she said "you used different muscles trail running, so you should be fine by Saturday" (Utah Valley Marathon).  Ha! But I took that thought to heart as I eeked my way down the stairs today.  Yesterday Sasha and Sarah dropped by to say hi and when I told Sasha how much I hurt and where, he pointed to hipflexors.  So I tried to massage and stretch my hipflexors (which felt like hard rope), glutes, and IT band.  WOW is all I can say.  I may have used 'different' muscles getting up and down that mountain, but I am SORE--mostly those hips, IT band and the outside of my quads and lower, inner quad above my knees.   So when I got to the trail, I gingerly tried running and hobbled for about 100 feet.  It took .4 miles to warm up.  When I stopped to say hi to Marsha about 2 miles in,  I could hardley get going again once I'd stopped.  I am toast man, and I'm still in shock over how hard and scary running up and down a mountain is.  I made up like 7 new swear words that day.

Not bringing my Garmin.  Its not worth the reality check right now.  What can be done at this point?  I am loving the weather right now though.  All this rain and moisture in the air is making the trail fragrant and lush. 

Ran with Marsha this morning. She asked me to go 'slower'.  I'll take that as a good sign.  It was the first morning since Saturday that my feet and leg's didn't smart the second they hit the floor when I got out of bed. So I'm a little less sore.  The rest of the day I had to attend this motivational seminar where I saw Colin Powell, Rudy Giuliani, Zig Zigler, Apollo Ohno, Sarah Palin and others.  We could not leave the premises for food so I'm going to count the pretzel, hot dog, and potato chips as 'carb loading'.  It was REALLY cool though, to hear Apollo Ohno talk about preparing for the olympics.  Really inspiring. 

We just learned of a terrible assault, rape, and near murder of a 19 year old student on the Provo Rivertrail by Branbury apartments.  They left her in the bushes for dead to the side of the trail. She is too non coherent to describe her assailant other than 'he had a tatoo'.   She was walking, as if going to BYU on a farily frecuented part of the trail. I'm the one always prepared for weirdness like that, but I'm stunned however, it happened--during the early afternoon--so near where there are hundreds of students who use the trail almost daily.  They said she will recover from the attack, but the bones in her face are badly fractured.   Makes me want to vigilante the trail packing heat. It makes me more furious than scared. 

No running.  Normally I throw in 2 miles the day before a marathon, but I've had so many hard core weekends in a row, I really did not get a healthy taper.  So many variables have left me without knowing how tomorrow will go. And what about that rain?  Really?  In 11 years, it has never rained on or near June 11th (I know because it's my son's birthday and we always do outdoor --stay out by the pool with that drink--kind of parties).  Anyway, in one way it's liberating just to have a totally unknown adventure lay before me tomorrow.  Catherine and I are both looking forward to seeing what a 5 hour marathon feels like.  We may have a picnic or stop for lunch on University Ave. before hitting the finish line....The 100% chance of rain should up the excitement factor.  It's nice to not have a lot vested in this race--just camaraderie and adventure.  Looking forward to seeing everyone.

Not sure on the official chip time yet.  Didn't care to look it up after the race since I was working hard to keep from hurling. There was no way I could have done better than I did. I did everything wrong there was to do between Boston and today.  I took days off when I needed to be doing 20's, I ran  low weekday miles and then torqued out the high miles three Saturdays in a row before the race, I didn't eat right, and I didn't taper.  I was pooped out to begin with and went into today knowing it was going to be a rough ride.  Also, because I really had nothing at stake in today's race, I didn't pump myself up sufficiently and ran on pure force of will, without the aid of any adreleline or excitement.  Catherine was determined to have an 'easy race' and to stay with me.  She wanted to see me through it in exchange for my 'helping her' BQ at Ogden by helping pace her the last 2 miles of her marathon.  Well, she paid me back allright, only sevenfold.  We enjoyed getting up on the busses, we were relaxed and we joked and chatted with other runners we met.  I ran into Marisa and chatted along until we made it to the STart. It was dark and raining while we waited.  Once the race started at 5:43 we took our sweet time crossing the start.  I was in love with the wide green valley there, the horses galloping around upset by the long 'stampeded of humans', the low dark clouds--even the rain.  I loved the rain dripping off my hat in rivulets, I loved how intensely green the mountains were, I was amazed by the flowers and the mist.  No one could have possibly reveled in being outside in that perfect cool running weather than I did.  I didn't even mind the rain and the soaked shoes and socks.  Interrupting the serenity of this running revelry was my very, very upset stomach and my dead-weight legs.  I had to stop 4 different times to use the bathrooms.  I started going from 8:30's to 10:00's by mile 10.  I picked off one mile at a time and did my best to just keep on going.  I had a secret plan to send Catherine on ahead, call someone to come get me around mile 20 and then drive to the finish to see Catherine finish.  She was so strong, and enjoying her 'slow' marathon, she just kept at it, encouraging me every step and letting me know we were going to do it.  I felt terrible for that.  I can be miserable and slow all by myself.  I never told her, that since about midweek, with how sore my legs had been from the Squaw Peak 50, I truly doubted that I would be able to finish.  When I admitted this at mile 23 she said "What?  You've been bluffing this whole time?".  I responded that 12 minute miles wasn't exactly 'bluffing'.  I actually took advil at mile 15 and then again at 21.  I rarely do that, and it probably added to my stomach issues (not to mentione pending kidney failure....).  Around mile 24, I saw Kelli running backwards, and to my surprize she joined us and offered to run me in.  I warned her she was joining my train wreck, but she was easy.  Kelli and Cath got me to the end, distracting me and encouraging me to get going a little faster for the end.  I just really wanted to finish and get it done, but truly didn't have the energy or the kick to finish with any pride.  I am looking forward to getting myself back in order.  I've felt put out and slightly obligated to run UVR--and I wanted to have more fun.  YOu'd think that a four-and-a-half marathon would be fun and easy breezy.  It made me appreciate how well I'd prepared for SG'09 and Boston '10.  When I run a sub 4, it is not an accident.  It takes an incredible about of preparation and focus--neither of which I have excersized since April.  It will be nice to get my weekday miles and good eating under control before I start even thinking about another race.  I still can't get over how beautiful the course was.  So fresh, so green.  I venture to say it's the prettiest course in Utah (now they changed the course to take you higher up the canyon).  I'm glad I did it, glad I finished, glad to give Catherine a reason to take it easy and support a friend.  It was humbling to be supported when I was feeling so weak, and unworthy.  I guess that's what friends do.

8:40/8:50/8:27/9:10

I posted my splits because I invited my daughter to run with me.  She's getting serious about soccer and I've been teaching her what I understand about conditioning/interval running/aerobic capacity, etc.  First she was reluctant/lazy to go. She wants to do the work, but she lacks the self-motivation as of yet.  Anyway, we got out there and I can tell that she's out to punish me; mad I'm making her run, and wanting to show me she's a faster runner.  She taunts me with the 7:34 mile she ran to earn her Presidental Physical Fitness Award.  She tooled through the splits on my Garmin from the Marathon on Saturday and said "you ran a bunch of nine-and- a- half  and ten minute miles?  I could do better than that" and so forth.  Of that I have no doubt, but for the first time in my life--she lit a small competative fire in my heart because I wasn't about to let a novice 13 year old runner show up her mommy on the second or third round.  So I kept her pace and told her what I know about form (head up, soft hands/elbows back-midline, midsole strike).  After talking to her about 100 yard sprint repeats and Yasso's and Fartleking she watned to sprint.  So I gave her a 400 yard measure and cut her loose.  In the end she was really happy she came-- and I was suprized how easy it was to run with her (and how NOT sore I am after running a marathon on Saturday).  I will NEVER get over the 17 miles I ran at the Squaw Peak 50.  That was the hardest thing I have ever done to date besides qualify for Boston.  But it was fun to be with my girl.  I'm proud of her.  She's a good girl.

Ran in the afternoon. The sky was filled with huge white thunderheads in the distance and cotton from the cottonwoods floated through the golden air of late day. There were a lot of fisherman standing quietly in the river casting their lines. I ran to see the lake, and turned around as the sky started to go grey. I ran back thinking of my son at camp, wondering if he'll remember where he packed his rain slicker and if he misses his Mama.

My legs were tired.  More tired than Monday or Tuesday, which is weird. Shouldn't I have been more tired Monday or Tuesday following a marathon on Saturday?  Whatever, I am so tired of trying to figure out why my legs feel so dead all the time (exhaustion? Iron? lack of training? over training?).  Also, this thing with my knee started last week when I jumped over a snake (somewhat involuntarily) on the trail, and I landed weird.  My knee hurt after that and today it hurt the worst.  I iced it a bunch of times since then, but it still hurts a little.  Also, my achilles (just above my achilles tendon) is sore.  I feel like complaining, it's the wind and the rain. 

The sky was so clear, and the air is crisp and clean. They say we'll see a rise in temps by 20 degrees.  So long spring.  All of my roses are now in full bloom. That always makes me happy.  I love how much color can come from one rose bush.  I plant the yellow ones next to salmon colored juipiter beard, I planted the white ones next to purple salvia, I planted the red ones next to red sweet william and lavender.  I love the contrasting colors.  These  blooms are only fresh for about a week each year--this is the week.  One of my favorite roses is called fragrant cloud.  Most roses are so hybrid-ed they no longer smell like roses. Fragrant cloud has not been genetically modified a million times, and so still has that intense rose smell.  I could smell it all day long. I hate going to work on days like today.  I just wish I could be running all morning and working in the yard all afternoon. 

I am loving this latent spring chill.  It's so good for a.m. running.  I am also in a really good mood because there is now access (although still illegal) through the new tunnel so I don't have to bypass my trail by going half a mile thorugh the neighborhood.  The chill in the air reminded me of a business conference I took about 10 years ago to Mt. Hood Oregon.  Whenever there is a certain moist chill in the spring and summer it reminds me of that place.  I'd only brung regular summer weather running gear with me and by the time I was done with 5 miles, my hands were frozen into claws and I couldn't pick the rasberries along the road.  There was a river, like mine, only the whole way was blackberry and rasberry bushes and the sight of Mt. Hood in the distance.  I love my rivertrail though.  I never get tired of it. I feel like the river and the fields are just for me.

Josse and Catherine came and we ran the trail down to the jetti. We saw the Triatholon start down at the lake, and ran back.  It was such a beautiful, clear, sunny day.  The cool blue sky reminded me of the day I brought my son home from the hospital 11 years ago this month.  Josse's cute pregnant belly made me think of it too.  I loved listening to Cath and Jos talk as we ran along.  I always learn something new when Josse shows up.  We ran a little over 6 with  Josse, and then Cath and I ran a few more, then I my daughter asked if she could go with me a couple more.  Still I was done by 9:30 and headed to the Farmer's market before it was too hot.  I love the farmer's market.  Coolest thing in Provo.

I'm compensating slow running with more miles. Also I've been splitting up the running, like 6 in the early morning, and 2 in the evening.  I love getting to be outside twice a day and having an excuse to run 2 'slower' miles with kids.

Ran into my neighbor on the trail this morning. She's been away for two weeks starring in a play up in Salt Lake.  The play is about one of the first black Mormon women "I Am Jane"  (about Jane Manning).  We had a really intense conversation about racism, American history, chuch history, Mormonism and feminists. I love that she's back. I missed her. She always tells me her truth, and can handle it when I tell her mine. Then I ran the rest of my miles and marvled at how precious and perfect my trail is on this second official day of summer.  I  say this all the time, I NEVER get tired of the river.  Just last Saturday, Cath said to me "Do you even KNOW how amazing it is that you have the river and this running trail right behind your house?" I told her that if she read my blog she'd know how I feel about the trail behind my house.  It's my portal to becoming one with the Universe.  So yeah, I know how lucky I am.

 My son begrudingly rode his bike along with me. He was in a hurry to get back and play with friends and so kept speeding up the bike and telling me to lift my knees and go faster (it's bad for your shoes Mama, you'll wear them out going that slow, you're dragging your feet).  Thanks for the company son, I love you too.

I had to run afterwork today and I literally thought I would die.  My legs were so beat, and it was so hot.  Not even the tall creepy guy, walking with hunched shoulders, hands in pockets, wearing beige coveralls (in 97 degree heat) and a baseball cap who looked at me with his chin down so as not to appear he was looking at me could creep me out enough to get going any faster. 

Cath & me doing our regular Saturday thing.  We ran up to the other side of town and back down.  We were both super tired, legs dead.  It's always nice though to run with a friend-- we both needed the road therapy.

Ran with Marsha this morning.  It was a really pretty morning. She told me about running Ragnar.  She wasn't very prepared, but  had a good time running with her brothers and brother's in law.  In between her second and third relay points, she had to drive from Logan to Salt Lake to attend her graduation.  She' s done now with her MPA.  She says it's my turn next.  I keep gearing up to take my GRE course, but keep taking illustrator and Excel courses instead.  It was a gorgeous, cool morning.

Chile :(  They put up a good game against Spain, but I knew they'd totally lose against Brazil.  I couldn't bring myself to watch and had to follow the stats from my desk at work using espn's game stats.  They scored one offsides goal--which I am so glad I didn't see.  That always kills me to see the thing go into the goal, only to realize it's offsides.  Killer. My friend living in Austin called this morning and I ran using my headset while we caught up.  I think I'm going to try to reduce my mileage this week to see if I can catch my breath.  I have not been obeying the 3 hard work  to 1 resting week ratio since about february.  I took a few days off in May, which was good--but went right back to 40+, even the weeks after the marathons.  Also I usually go for kale/spinich and red meat for iron,  but I need to look for a suppliment I can stomach.  I'd like to see if I've been anemic the past few months or just tired.  I think most of it has to do with work though. 

I'm dragging out 9:45's and when I look down at my Garmin, I'm shocked because the effort feels extraordinary.  I'm going for some Iron tonight. See if that helps. Talked my daughter and son into doing the Freedom 5K. They are actually pretty excited. Should be interesting.  This week is my high school's 25th reunion.  Everyone I love is in town.  It's going to be such a fun weekend, starting tomorrow.