Believe to Achieve

asics gel lytes.  Gotta add these shoes to my list.  anyway ran the Run of Remembrance 5k with Amber.  She was not happy the last 1.2 miles and stopped and yelled at me like four times, first saying I can't breath (which obviously she could since she was YELLING at me) and anything positive I said she told me NOT to say anything, not to talk.  That was hard.  Then at mile two a nice older gentleman running the 10 k cheered her on (just the same way as I was) and she picked up her pace and relaxed, til he left us just after mile two as the 10k splits off.  The last mile was a MENTAL battle for me and Amber.  I knew she wasn't tired or dying she was mentally freaking out over the hill just before the finish, up to the cemetery.  She sprinted the finish at 5:51 pace for the 0.11 miles so I know she had juice left physically.    This was an honest course and Amber ran a 25:59!!  We haven't trained except she plays soccer and runs the mile each week at school with her fifth grade class with a PR there at 7:03.    If she hadn't have stopped and yelled at me four times and spent more time with her energy into the race she could have gotten the goal I set for her of 24:59 or better.  She is all smiles now and happy and forgetful of how she was to me.  I never once yelled at her.  I just encouraged her the whole way.  I am not sure if I should just let her run her own race or be there for her?  She would have stopped if I wasn't there.  Her older sisters came in at 28:50 (Brooke, 13 with her friend Brooke a three minute PR) and Courtney at 34:xx with her upper respiratory infection. She ran with my sister.  For celebration we went to three different ice cream places (the first two were closed) when we got to JCWs as the first customers of the day!!  The kids wanted shakes.  I treated and they also bought themselves fries.  I was sick to my stomach eating that for breakfast. We were there at 1030am.  I ran FIVE more miles when we first got home at 9:25am.  Ran four easy about 8:10ap with one mile at the end at 6:27!!! :D  feeling good these days and am soooo happy about that.  The only problem is the nerve in my butt.  So I really got to go to the Chiropracter.  Also, apparently I am not in menopause.  And that the steroid use for the last two years (six shots to my foot last year along with one in my back in July.  And I think about the same in 2012)  were DESTROYING my own healing mechanisms and my joints and my adrenal glands.   I no longer wake with intense bone pain that I did all last year and each month since my last shot in early November, I have felt better and better.  Hormones can be so crazy.  I also had to go on zoloft which has made a world of difference in the last 10 days.  I am writing this to hopefully let others know that depression is a real disease and it doesn't have to be like that.  It can be helped with medication, the right one and if you have the resources therapy.  I use my running as therapy along with my good friends that have been there for me.   

asics.  easy miles.  8:13 ap.  up to cedar hills and back.  peaks and valleys, as in life and in running.  lonely when my kids leave for school.  so happy when they come home.  same with hubby when he leaves for work and comes back.  crazy. crazy.  get over this.  Thankful for family!!  

worked all day.  busy.  no run.  I just can't get myself to get up and run before work anymore.  butt pain still there. argh!!!!

dropped off Brooke at school.  Anxiety attacks back.  What to do?  RUN.  Drove under a mile to canal parking lot on 1100 north and ran north on canal four miles and back.  Saw one girl I know.  Yikes Rachelle?? Janice? I think.   It was nice this am.  Cool over cast. Perfect weather.  I am downtrodden with figuring out soccer team for Amber. She is coming off Celtic Storm.  She is moving to Northern Peaks like her sisters.  I want her to be happy and improve that is all. She is a very good player.  Anyway....every decision seems hard for me.  Went to chiropracter after run.  Just butt pain, in the bone area..so hopefully not a stress fracture.    Anyway I ran and it just gets the butt muscle tight but EVERYTHING else feels so good.  AP today 7:33.  Only the last two miles felt not as easy...because butt began to hurt more and they were only 7:20 paces.  

7 up af canyon from mouth to tibble reservoir at 8:01 ap. 7 down at 6:33 ap. Crazy run. Kim and Jane always make me feel young again when we run the canyon.

worked all day on level two nursery. no run. did not sleep well.