Believe to Achieve

brief track work.  ran to AF high school track (2.09 miles/ 8:30ap).  High schoolers out doing a class, only a few on the track. They moved to the outside of the track.  A large bump.  I don't like to be watched while running.  Embarrassing especially running speedwork.  Ran a ladder work out. Copped out when I was gonna go to 1000 meters.  Ran 200 in 43 (5:35ap) (had to slow for a group that were walking just before my finish point).  Ran 400 in 1:31.64 (0.26 miles actually on garmin, I forgot where I was when I started the 400. There are two points you could start from (5:51 pace). Ran 0.4miles (600 meters) in 2:17.72 (5:46pace). Ran 800 meters (garmin read 0.51 miles.  I ran around a guy on the track) in 3:01.47.   Ran 0.395 miles (600 meters) in 2:18.25 (5:58 pace, wow slowed a lot here). Ran 400 meters (0.25 miles) in 1:27.05 (5:48).  Ran the last 400 in 41.12 (5:29).  Jogged home 2.41 miles @ 7:50 pace.  I am struggling with depression (clinical from menopause) and it is really hard for me to handle my sadness and feelings of minimalism.  No self pride.  No joie to vive!!  It is so hard to comprehend being at this place in my mind.  I try hard every day to stay positive and have very supportive friends in Jane and Kim and Melanie.   God grant me the strength to feel the hope.  I love my children and my husband and they are worth fighting this out for.  If you have never been through a true depression THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS.  I wouldn't place this on my worst enemy.  

okay nerve pains in thighs and lower back the whole time breathing excellent just not much i can do with this ol body some days. ap 8:27 high noon start time

worked all day some despair hormones not good for me so had to come off this came on as my shift was ending

ran two miles to golds gym. ran on tm starting at 7:30 pace and upped it by 0.2 to 0.3 every mile for three miles then ran one mile starting at 6:39 and oncreasing by 0.1 every tenth of a mile til 6:03 pace so avg 6:18. ran home two miles easy pace after brief moment in spin class and then weights. cool northern peaks and la roca both advance to premier in u13 ...jane and her sister have daughters on la roca and my daughter plays for np. they won the division (np)!!! :-)

four miles at 7am easy pace...then one mile at ambers school 7:05 amber ran 7:03...one second faster than her last pr . :-)

easy miles. just trying to get my mojo back. this depression /anxiety attacks have taken my mind by surprise. i wish this upon noone except for someone who thinks "just be happy" ....but i would only want them to feel it for a half hour. not fun and completely awful. building myself back up. therapy is gardening and hardly any phone time.