Believe to Achieve

so today I got word from Kim the workout Jane made up.  I ran it on a smaller scale (15 x400s them). I ran 12 x 400s.  Three mile warmup and I thought I was on some treadmill that was slow cause 8:00 pace felt easy so I upped it to 7:30 by three miles.  Ran 10.2, 10.3, 10.4, 10.5 (0%) with equal recovery at 1 % and 8:00 pace.  REPEAT x 3.  Cool down x 1 mile 7:45 ap I believe.    Besides a very mental case brain all this felt easy.  The hard part were my thoughts of despair. So I will just leave it at that....I am thinking my way out.    THIS IS THE FIRST DAY SINCE LUNGE AND SQUAT TO THE MAX workout last Tuesday that I haven't been sore.  Saturday's race was a sad day for me hence why I just took myself off the blog for a bit.  And I need love and support not judgment and nonreaction.    I only wish to PR.  I don't care if I am faster than anyone else.  Thanks Josse for coming up to me!! Smiling and cheerful is a great way to be : D.

One mile warmup, 7:42 before LUNGE and SQUAT POWER PUMP class...YUP same as last week that took me six days to recover from.  Man alive she doesn't quit.  I love Lori's spirit and zest for sweat and strength!!  I am feeling stronger however and that part feels great.  Still in feelings of despair...but can't talk about that...ON to MY way of getting out of it...TALK therapy.  Today was a little better than yesterday....I could feel a little adrenaline.  Yesterday, even music in my ears made me feel alone.  Today....I was a bit back to feeling some groove.  OVER whelming feeling of aloneness...yet when I talk to my friends and serve my kids and husband I can usually block out this feeling.    Waking in the morning is the hardest when it used to be my favorite part of the day...however if I just keep doing what I have been doing I can get through it.  I put in a call to my Dr today. Waiting for her call back.  She said to call anytime I had a question about my condition.  She probably won't like that I haven't gone to the specialist on hypopituitarism yet.  Sometimes money must be thrown out the window for survival.    I struggle with sense of self:  is it good to try to be better than others???  I don't think so.    Hence why my running is about PRs and not winning.  I want everybody to be happy.  Anyway...if I just put a smile on my face and continue to serve in any way...I feel better.    OKAY ENOUGH  ALREADY... FORWARD MARCH!!!   : D   1 mile cooldown after one hour of blood sweat and tears.  7:31.  1%.

Zero running miles but probably 10 walking fast at work miles. Very busy team. Got thru pretty good except my depression thoughts. I tried hard to not let any negative thoughts creel in and soak in all the beautiful babies .

Getting a little bit of a head cold. My whole family got it one by one i dont think i am going to get it too badly. Really wishing i could sleep all night and not get up..cause when i do get up i am up for over an hour or more. This time i woke at 4am. Fell bqck to sleep at 530 or so...alarm to get courtney up 630. So up with a smile. Amber and brooke up at 720. Drove kids to school at 7:50. Then off to rec....chatted with a friend for 15 minutes so only got 1.25 miles in before spin. 8:00 ap. Then spin with weights at end while spinning. Legs sore still from tuesday but not like last week..like 50 % btr than how i was last week post lunge class. Got on tm and recovery pace x 7.25 miles kept at 6.7 to 7.1 with one brief visit up to 8:00 pace. Really enjoyed just jogging and not forcing a pace on tired legs. 8:41 felt percect. Stretched well afterward. To costa vida with my hunny for a prebirthday luncheon...my last lunch as a 44 year old. Tmr i will be 1/2 way to 90!!! Yikes.

Mile 45 of 100. 65 to go. Head cold started last night the kind that if u over do it u will get sicker. Just sinuses. Fuzzy brain. But definitely a virus. Ran easy with sore upper body and a little in legs from spin and lunge classes this week and u know how colds make every symptom amplified. No real plan as usual but to run 8. First mile at 8:27 pace and 2% incline a little much for my body so brought it to 1% and 8:41 pace and increased each mile by 0.1 mph til 6. Didnt like 8:00 pace so turned it back to 8:57 for a mile at mile 6. That helped and gave me the energy to run the last two at 6:48 and 6:44. Breathing good but body tired...muscles are transforming and is taking some getting used to. Off to lunch with friends at zupas:-). I need a nap. This cold is going around fast. Just be warned. Have a great day all...halfway mark will be met officially at 5:31 pm utah time, 7:31 east coast time, where i was born. Looking forward to bday cake with family, some party games and olympic events. Twice olympics have started on my bday. I am an olympian in spirit. :-)

Work 13 hours. No time or energy for a run. Admit nursery. Good shift.