Believe to Achieve

I feel like I have mono again from when I had it in 2003....or it is the shingles? the rash is still the same maybe 30 percent decrease in brightness of blisters since a week ago monday.  Burning pain in my right arm and random areas in my rib area on right side...  the fatigue is also like when my ferritin level was 5.  Like so massively fatigued.  But I am best right when I wake up so I decided to run at 648am.  Ran scheduled run (I have been skipping a lot of these runs due to working long shifts and fatigue so I gotta get back on the schedule for the last week).  1 mile warm up and 2 x 2.5 miles at goal marathon pace.  Which at this point is like maybe 7:45 but I ran them at 6:58 first mile 6:53 second mile and 6:49 last half mile.  Felt like I was dying so opened the window rested three minutes like I was supposed to...then  started up and felt like I could not do it again.  Stood there.  Probably another three minutes and decided to do at my real goal I had for myself before braces and shingles-- 7:07 avg pace for saint george.  Ran first mile at 7:08, second mile at 7:03 and last 1/2 mile at 6:58.  Felt better but still like no way in this year was this gonna happen.  I feel so confined with these braces and weak. Like SuperMan and kryptonite.  Julie and nickel titanium falls to her death like coma fatigue.    But I was tired of my jaw not closing and locking in pain if  I tried that I had to do something rather than complain the rest of my life.  I may even need jaw surgery near the end to get my jaw better aligned. I am considered a class III orthdontic bite which if very hard to fix but can be fixed.   And braces are not freeing.  They tie me down.  So I sacrifice this running year to a good jaw in the future for the last part of my years on this earth.  Crazy but true.  My body is so stressed from the change I got shingles.  ha ha . YAY.    I must add this was done on my home treadmill which was jane's tm for many years up until a month ago.  She verified that sw on her mill is harder than at vasa gym.  PHEW!!  also I ran warmup mile in 8:30.  Cooldown in 8:53.  wiped out.  carpool as soon as I was done.  hanging with my mom.  love having her around.  :D.