Bunny the Cow

I have been burnt out from fear and I felt very stuck. I was able to talk to Taylor's mom, she helped so much. I am so grateful. She taught me how to better balance my life so I do not "run faster than I have strength," I never understood this scripture till now. I don't need to run just for the sake of running, but in order to be a better disciple. I don't need to run to the point of exhaustion every time, and I don't need to do the hardest thing I can think of constantly.

I didn't even go to Taylor's house. I have been way too stressed, when I tried to exercise it just made it worse. I just needed to rest. I think I had a lot of emotions that have not been dealt with, it felt very painful when I released them through journaling and feeling the emotions. I usually avoid emotions but I realized that just makes it worse. It's interesting how the amount of adrenaline I had can cause physical sickness, it felt like I had a fever and extreme chest pressure. All is well now, I just needed to wait it out.

We just went on a mile walk with Emma and Taylor. I felt very peaceful, we talked for a while afterwards. I would have liked to run but I was having a lot of anxiety beforehand and didn't want to freak out on the run when I was alone with Taylor.

26:43 with Taylor. We kicked for about the last 0.4 miles to around a 6 min pace. I really needed to do that fast, I was able to release a lot of energy that has been causing stress. Taylor was very tired afterwards, so was I, but it felt so good to feel that kind of pain. I forgot how much I like pain, and how much voluntary pain improves my attitude. I haven't had any anxiety at all today or on the run with Taylor. I am glad to be back running again.