Sock tans

Started at the East track and did Shriner's run out and back. 8:24 average. Then stretched, did a couple strides and did a 400. I hit another 79! It felt all out again lol.

I think that my legs are weak. I think that's why running is so rough for me right now. I know I could go faster, I have the speed, it just doesn't feel comfortable. And feels not very smooth when I try, like my legs are weak. But that's probably the funk I need to get out of, running shouldn't feel comfortable all the time. It's hard to push myself when I'm alone.

Foothill out and back, 8:09 average

I've been quarantining so naturally I have a lot of time on my hands. Today I pulled out my mood chart that I've been using to keep track of my mood, hours of sleep, suicidal ideation, meals per day, and whether or not I took my medication. I created it a while ago. This month I'll be adding whether or not I did a mindfulness exercise, anxiety level, irritability, and whether or not I exercised. So anyway, I created the new chart and then decided to reflect on the two months I've got data for- October and November. I created a graph for both of them showing my bipolar mood cycle and then calculated the averages for all the other data points. It's interesting because on all average data points November was a much better month than October, even though I had a deeper low in November. I've ended on a high note which I guess made up for the low. I think upping the dose of the abilify this month really helped.

So far, the findings are:

-when I miss a day of medication, the next few days I become hypomanic or depressed and experience increased suicidal ideation

-less sleep = more depression or hypomania and increased suicidal ideation

-running more frequently could have a positive effect on my mood state- either that or because I feel better I run more frequently. Or maybe both are true.

October (less data points- not done the whole month so focus on the percentages. Also remember that hypomania and depression can co-exist- that's why the percentages don't add up to 100. Some days had both depression and hypomania)

Number of hypomanic days: 6 (30 percent)

Number of depressed days: 15 (75 percent)

Number of stable days: 3 (15 percent)

Average suicidal ideation rating: 2.86

Average meals per day: 3

Average hours of sleep: 7.15

Days medication was missed: 2

November 

Number of hypomanic days: 3 (10 percent)

Number of depressed days: 21 (70 percent)

Number of stable days: 8 (26 percent) 

Average suicidal ideation rating: 1.1

Average meals per day: 3

Average hours of sleep: 7.87

Days medication was missed: 1

Went over to Sugarhouse and decided to do the State hill loop 4 times (the big one on the northeast side of the park). I was pretty tired after that. I only got a time for the first one because my watch died (1:37 for .23). My first was probably my slowest because I was trying to remember how far out the loop usually goes and how it swings between the pine trees, I went off course a bit. I also almost biffed it on the third one but caught myself. Then ran back home