Sock tans

Yesterday I planned on running later in the evening when it was cooler out, that didn’t happen. Today I have back to back jobs and won’t be done until midnight. So, no running again. Sigh. I want to, maybe if I have a long enough break in between jobs I will.

My team is gearing up for the progression run on Thursday. Or, I guess not my team anymore. It’s strange to not be in Cedar and not be at all the team meetings. It’s crazy that the season is already starting for them. I’m glad that I don’t have to stress about the progression run or the road race or meeting a certain standard, but I miss it at the same time. I especially loved the road race, part of me is sad because I know that I’d have done a lot better this next year. The excitement of knowing I could possibly PR is something I really really miss. I know I’m not even near in good enough shape and I’m transferring, but I still feel like I should be there running.

Out and back on Foothill, 8:04 average. Felt better than I thought I would. I’m getting excited for BYUI! I have a couple friends from my home ward that are up there and I have only heard good things about it. My mom thinks it’ll be really good for me. We always stop in Rexburg anytime we go up to my cabin so my family knows it pretty well, which is different from Cedar. I’m only going part-time this next semester so that I can work and ease back into it. It’ll help remind me that I can do well in school and that it was my depression that prevented me from doing as well in classes. I’ve lost a lot of confidence in myself because of what happened, especially in grades. I got my first ever C in Calculus last fall then was failing anatomy and anatomy lab and struggling in all my other classes last semester before I withdrew. I’ve always been an A/B student before then, so I just need to remind myself that I can still succeed in school. I think I’m nervous to do a lot of things because of what happened, but I just need to remember that my depression doesn’t define me and I can do more now that it’s being treated. It definitely affected my ability to focus and stay on top of my work. I often couldn’t even get out of bed so... yeah. That shouldn’t happen again

Modified Cemetery run with a lap in the cemetery. 8:03 average. I felt pretty good, but at the end I think I had an asthma attack. It’s been years since I’ve had one. I was wheezing pretty loudly and my breathing was really shallow. I stopped and tried to take deep breaths but my chest hurt and I still wasn’t able to get much air. I walked home. I think being slightly out of shape contributed, though I’m not sure why all of a sudden it happened. My chest still feels like it has a weight on it but I’m okay. My asthma isn’t that severe, I’ve mostly grown out of it. It was pretty bad when I was younger (I got it because of my biological parents smoking so much). I had to use a humidifier and an inhaler fairly often back then but like I said I haven’t had an attack in years. I don’t even have an inhaler anymore because I thought it was gone. Maybe I just have to stay in shape to keep it at bay- hooray for motivation!

Cemetery run again but shortened it, 7:39 average.