Sock tans

I’ve been tired lately. Last night my dad commented because apparently it was the first day that I didn’t either take a nap or sleep in super late. I was surprised because I didn’t even really make note of that, but then as I thought about it it’s true. I have slept a lot lately.

As I think about it, my tiredness has seeped into running as well. Today I felt it a lot. I’ve been a bit discouraged because I want to jump up to 6 miles a day because I know I’m in shape enough for that, but for whatever reason 4 miles seems to be my limit. As I was deciding where to run today what it came down to was the distance, either 4 or 6 miles. I wanted to go the 6 mile loop, but I decided on the 4 because if I got exhausted I didn’t want to be miserable the last 2-3 miles. I’m glad I did because after 1 mile I was already exhausted. 

I’ve been discouraged thinking I’m out of shape and frustrated because I can’t seem to increase my mileage, but I don’t think that’s quite accurate. My breathing was very relaxed. My legs are a little sore, but they weren’t hurting much as I ran. Neither did my core or anything. Normally I’d push it a little faster until I was at a pace that at least got my cardiovascular and respiratory systems working harder. And maybe brought a slight burn to my muscles. But for whatever reason, I can’t get myself to feel that. I can’t push myself that hard because I’ll get exhausted quick and not be able to finish miles. And I was already exhausted just trying to make it through the run.

I think the Lithium I’m taking is causing my exhaustion. I have to take it for probably another month, I’ll be doubling my dose in a couple days. But it’s a stepping stone for another medication that I will start after I run out of my Lithium prescription, and then I can stop taking it. So if that’s the case (one of Lithium’s side effects is fatigue) then I’ll just have to make it through another month or so and then hopefully the exhaustion will go away.

Anyways, today I did VA loop. Like I said earlier I was already exhausted one mile in. I stopped for a minute and stretched, surprised that my body felt great but I just struggled to move at the pace I wanted. So after a half mile I’d decided to go a pace that didn’t exhaust me, that felt good. The last mile I wanted to walk because I was so tired. But I didn’t. I ended up averaging 8:03.

Mood-wise I feel great. At about an 8. This is much better than a couple months ago. 

I was really tired again. But I tried fixing my mentality and it helped a lot. Instead of focusing on the fact that I was tired I thought about other things. I stopped once at the 3 mile mark because I knew I had another mile to go and I was exhausted. My thoughts had turned negative. But I talked myself through it, sucked it up and finished. Sometimes running is all about the mentality, so I’m going to try to fix mine to be more positive. VA loop again, 7:39 average. 

Super hyped because my twin brother and I turn 22 tomorrow :) yaaaaas

VA loop again because why not? Averaged 7:42. I had my third mile at 6:54, even though it was slightly downhill I was happy about that. It’s been a long time since I’ve gone sub- 7:00. I was tired again, but felt a little more like my normal self. Getting back slowly but surely. 

I ran with Patrick today and we went up to the JCC trail. I haven’t been up there since high school, because I’ve always hated it because of the hills. But idk why I hated it so much, this time around I really liked it. We were originally going to go 5 miles, but then we got up to the lookout of the valley and took it in for a minute. Then as we were getting ready to start again, we both went eh. It had been all uphill to that point. I’m pretty sure if I remember right past that point is pretty ok until the one death hill we used to do hill repeats on in high school, but we decided we’ll tackle it next time haha. It was a good leg workout going up and I was breathing hard so I think it was a good run. Also I have really missed running these trails here in slc because they’re so nice and I love the valley views. Today was a gorgeous day. So scenic and beautiful

ECT day. There was a miscommunication about one of my medications, I’m supposed to hold it for 3 days before a treatment and I didn’t. They didn’t tell me that. So the options were to either reschedule for tomorrow or Monday, or go ahead and do the treatment but there was a chance I wouldn’t have a seizure. If that was the case we’d have to schedule another treatment for Monday or something. Or if I had a partial seizure. Which meant I’d have all the side effects but no benefits. But luckily I had a good seizure. Side effects aren’t too bad today, I’m just really tired and a little off balance. No running today

I ended up sleeping literally the entire day. My sister Hattie said when I came home from UNI I looked really, really sick. She said it was the worst I’ve looked all through my treatments. I was really, really pale and had really red eyes. I’m not sure why it took so much out of me today, maybe because it was the first time in 10 days? Idk.

No running today. I went to Millie and Tessa’s soccer game then came home and slept for 3ish hours. I was incredibly tired. By that point in the day I’d missed my chance to go running, I’m back to the 24/7 supervision.