Today was a hard day. I got reprimanded at work for being disconnected and disengaged recently. I was honest with my boss and told her I'd been raped 2 weeks ago. I knew I could trust her because she's been there for me above and beyond before. She was so helpful, she put in his phone number into an app (she used to work for DCFS) and found out what his real name is. We then searched him up on Facebook and found his profile that included not only a picture of him, but a picture of the truck he assaulted me in as well as the same exact picture he used on his profile to catfish me with. She then called the police using my case number to get an update on the case and say we had new information. We arranged a meeting for after work for me to go speak with the detective in person. So I did that. He asked lots of questions and I recounted what happened to him. At the end he basically told me my case is really hard because if they go and question him and he says it was consensual there's not much they can do. I never fought him, I never said no besides two encounters that I guess might not really count, they might not be able to get any charges for it, I was too in shock and scared of retaliation to say no or to fight him. He said he'd speak to a lawyer to determine whether or not there could be charges for one of my "no" situations. But he said that it's more than likely to go to a jury. But the report has been made, so there's record of it if he were ever to try anything with anyone else.
I feel really sad and disconnected. But I also feel relieved because I've done all that I can do. And I'm proud of myself for going to the police. That was really hard to do. And for confiding in my boss. She's been really helpful and I'm lucky to have someone who cares so much. It was hard to say it out loud.
Debating whether or not I should confide in my parents. I know my mom would want to know. But I feel embarrassed about the way it happened. That's the hard thing. I feel partially at fault because I should've spotted the fake profile from a mile away, I knew it was risky to be on that app, and it was risky to meet him at his place. But now I know I guess. Sigh.
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