I went back to the hospital this morning for a blood draw to check to make sure everything is still good after taking my medications for a few weeks. I also have another ECT treatment scheduled for early tomorrow morning. My mom says I was usually really tired after my ECT treatments, and once I have a treatment I have to be monitored for seizures for a week, so we’ll see how running goes for the next little bit.
Today I did Wasatch loop. I tried not to look at pace. I stress myself out about needing to be in 50% range, but I need to let that go for the time being and enjoy my runs. I’m not in as good of shape as I was a month or so ago, and that’s okay. For right now when it’s still unclear when I’ll be at 100% mentally and ready to truly hit the road, it’s a bit impossible to have a goal to work towards. Maybe for now I’ll just be running (when I can) for fun and because I want to. Once I’m done with treatments, once I have the energy and the right mentality, THEN I can really set out to get back in good shape. I’m not there yet.
Anyways, today I noticed I wasn’t running as smooth as I was when I was with my team. My stride was off. I slowed down and paid more attention to my back kick and foot strike, and sure enough going slower allowed me to have a smoother, more relaxed stride. I was able to get back into that groove where running didn’t feel that difficult and I could separate myself a little from focusing on what my body was doing and instead go to my thoughts or things outside of the physical discomfort of running. Then, around 2.5 miles in, I got really tired. I stopped for a minute, and I honestly just wanted to lay down right there and take a nap. But I wasn’t home yet. So I continued and didn’t bother finishing to 6, I just wanted to be done. Averaged 7:58
My mood’s a 4 today. I’m really tired and don’t really want to do anything other than stay in my bed (though I did go run some errands this morning).
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