I was requested to attend a meeting tomorrow morning to discuss concerns with my job performance with my shift lead and my boss. With the rape and now this I feel like I'm drowning. I wonder if the rape has contributed to my poor job performance or if I just suck at my job in general. Idk. But I feel really overwhelmed. My thoughts are starting to go to dark places. I'm in close contact with my therapist and psychiatrist and if it got bad enough I'd go back to the hospital, but thankfully I'm not there yet. I'm just having a few fleeting suicidal thoughts. No plan. Some thoughts of self-harm but no acting on it. Had a mini panic attack after work today. My first in over a year. I'm just in a tough spot right now. I'm stressed like none other. Hopefully I can manage it ok.
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