Got to the gym at 5:50 and lifted today. That's it. I worked nearly every part of my body. Back to my running history:
I got pregnant January 2005 and I was so sick I couldn't do much of anything. So, no running during the first part of my pregnancy. I am the kind of girl that pukes all day long when I am prego, so I don't really lead a normal life during that time. When I finally felt better, I tried running a little bit, but I just felt awkward running with a small kickball in front of me. So I was a quitter. Yep, I eliptical helled my life away for the remaining 5 months. It was good because it helped me stay in shape and keep a decent level of fitness. After she was born, I was back at the gym in 4 weeks. I attempted a slow run my first day back. Buuuuut... I left feeling like someone kicked me in the pelvis. So I took it slow. I built back up into a fast run within about 5 months. By the end of the spring of 2006 I was back into a fast pace and running strong everyday -and back outdoors. We built a home and moved to S.F. In October of 2006. This is where my love for the Spanish Fields river trail began. It is about 1/2 mile from my home. I began running on it in the Spring of 2007........ah oh! Just in time to have a tiny little 'accident' again. Baby Brooks! Oh dear, he was a pleasant surprise. I was not expecting to have another baby so quick. So this is where it gets hairy. I got really lazy when I was prego with Brooks. So no running really at all the whole 9 months. It felt kind of good to have a break from my ultra fast paced workouts and healthy eating. Weeell, I took it to the max. I ate bad, was a tad lazy, stopped lifting and whatdya know? I gained 35 lbs. The most I ever gained pregnant. He was Born November 07', the day before Thanksgiving. I ate turkey Dinner in the hospital. I had hardly any visitors. My family couldn't come back because my 2nd oldest got sick with a stomach virus. Plus it was a Holiday. Nobody wants to break away from their good time to visit little old me. It was tough being in the hospital alone those two days. After I got home and for the next 4 weeks trying to adjust to being Mom of 4. It was hard. But I was determined to get back to running. So I started going maybe 3 days a week. But.......I hit a huge scary wall about a week later. One night something happened to me. I got one of the worst headaches I've ever had. I took some pain meds and went to sleep. Around 3:30 am I woke up with the weirdest sensation going on in my brain. I sat up and had a major panic attack. I didn't sleep the rest of the night. As the sun came up that morning, I couldn't see very well. Bright lights were hurting my brain. I couldn't concentrate or focus on much. I had several other panic attacks throughout the day. Ended up calling my husband to come home. Sister came and spent a week helping me at home with kids- house.. whatnot. Long story short, aside from the weird head/brain issues, and the eyesight change, and the concentration problems, I ended up with a pretty severe case of postpartum anxiety and depression. It was a monster machine that sucked me in, chewed me up and spit me out dry. I was a mess for about a year. So running was very minimal. I didn't sleep much for about a year. Probably 3-4 hours a night. And all the stress of 4 kids, oh man, it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I was in a downward spiral and no way to get out of it. This is where my friend Julie from the blog comes in.That girl saved me in a way. We became friends and I told her one day I was suffering with postpartum depression/anxiety and whatdya know? -She had gone through it herself just 3 years prior. She helped me so much just by validating my feelings and my experiences. I got on some anti-anxiety meds and began sleeping through the night. And Julie helped encourage me back into a regular running regime. It took a lot of work! I was out of shape. Totally tired and drained. But I persisted getting up early again and running. For about 5 months I fought off the voices of doubt in my head. -that I would never run well again, or sleep on my own again, or feel normal again. This seriously pushed me into the mentality I now have. I am now the most determined individual. If you tell me I won't be able to do something, I switch into a totally different mindset. Kind of feisty like. In my head I think: "Oh yeah? You don't think I can hack it??? TRY ME
Did you notice I hadn't run a race since 2004? Here I was in 2009 still raceless for 5 years. Well Merri worked me over and convinced me to run the local city race July 09'. Unfortunately, tho I was super prepared, I sprained my ankle 2 days before. It sucked, I cried so much. I wanted to run that race . I decided not to let it stop me, and I ran it with a fresh sprain anyways. I ended up in 2nd plc age division behind Merri. The awesome race feeling was back! I think that's enough today. This is making me laugh. It's like writting a book .
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