Of Mice and Marathons

PM: 30' @ 142 BMP (13:10).

Decided to jog today. Felt great to get out. 

It's been an exciting and eventful and difficult few weeks. My mom, sister, and niece drive out around Thanksgiving, which was nice and our friend came in early December. Mental health has been rough, but that is mostly do to my escalating alcoholism. It's been a pretty slippery slope since March and reached unprecedented heights over the last few weeks. It's irresponsible when you don't have kids, it's something altogether awful when you have children, especially young ones. I am writing this the day after Christmas. I am going to try to make today my first sober day since early March and work on giving it up altogether. There might come a time when I can enjoy a drink at dinner or at a party when things settle out with the virus, but that's not working right now.

Megan and I are working on getting a treadmill and an elliptical. My course load was up in the air for a while (I did not deal well with that well), so we had to hold off, but my dad gave us a bunch of money, so I think we are going to put it toward some equipment. My course load is normal for now, but it is unclear what will happen in the future.

Megan likes running on treadmills, and I think with the right setup I can get used to it. Going to be a tight fit in the basement, but I think if necessary I can get a contractor to reroute and restablize some joists for a bit of head clearance.  

I've missed the blog. 

Merry Christmas!

The boys were pretty fussy today, so it was exhausting, but we had a good meal.

Still pretty sore from that 30' jog :-)

No booze today.

PM: 45' on TrainerRoad (Carter)

Just going to work in some shorter stuff and work on frequency. No booze today.

PM: 30' on TrainerRoad (Volunteer). HR 134.

I've been getting up early and bringing one of the boy down to feed them, putting the monitor on and waiting for the other one to wake up so Megan can get some more sleep (we both do feedings at night, but sometimes it's not evenly split). It feels nice to be up at a decent hour to hang out with the boys, who end up sleeping again before too long. I use the time to have some green tea, watch the news, and get some work done or clean the kitchen.

No booze today. I do have beer in the fridge and in the garage, which I take as progress. Typically if I have anything and I'm in the mood, I drink it. If I had any hard stuff that would likely be different. Getting my healthy eating back on track and I feel really good.

PM: 60' on TrainerRoad (Beech). HR 134.

Pretty good day. Got up around 7:00 or so with the boys. They were circumsized yesterday, which was pretty worrisome, but we have a fantastic doctor and the boys were amazing. Sawyer apparently started to fall asleep during the procedure :-) They were great in the evening and in the night and throughout the day. 

Good nutrition today. Some overeating and snacking, but nutrionionally dense meals otherwise.

No booze today. Some irrability, but nothing major or prolonged. Got a few naps in here and there as I have been flying on adrenaline and green tea and happiness at the change in how I feel mentally and wanted to make sure I didn't fall flat on my face.

Charlie started smiling today. 

PM: 45' on TrainerRoad (Lazy Mountain -2). HR 114.

Rewatching Breaking Bad, which I had started last February when I started out on the trainer. I mounted our old TV when I bought a new one this fall. Ordered a fan and a stand for my computer. 

Good day, but quite tired. I was with the boys a good portion of the day as Megan has a few deadlines before the semester starts in a week. I went to the Home Depot for some fire extinguishers because I realized that we didn't have any and they are kind of important. Delivery didn't seem like much of an option. We've been ordering groceries for some time so my in-store stops have been limited to CVS and the ocassional, very quick grocery item or two.

No booze today. I can't remember the last time I went 5 days. Certainly not since we moved to Michigan and I doubt since we have been married, though we did well in Philadelphia to not drink during the week (most weeks anyway).

Got Sawyer to smile today. Poor kid. He inherited my huge head. 

PM: 60' on TrainerRoad (Pettit). HR 131. 

Got up with the boys and hung out. We had a pretty quiet day and watched the live stream of Jason Isbell's concert once I figured out how to put it on the TV. We had a light dinner and I went to bed around quarter of one. The boys slept from 12:00 or so to 5:15 for the second night in a row. 

My first sober New Year's Eve since I was probably 16? 17? Definitely since 15. That was 2000. I'll be 36 in 3 weeks. Megan cheers me with her wine. I had some ginger and tumeric tea I made. It's nice and spicy and I like to drink it by the gallon, but that combined with the lemon in too large a quantity kills my throat and tongue. It's amazing stuff though.