Sock tans

Bad depression day. Not for any good reason. Struggled to do life like normal, missed my classes and weights and a banquet because I couldn’t summon the willpower to go. But I managed to go to work, go for a run (practice was on our own today), and do a few small things around the house. It’s the tiny victories that count sometimes.

I’m sick and getting sicker. Had bad period cramps today, too. Did Dikes + Canyon from my house and called it at 5.75 because my lungs and throat hurt.

Had my biweekly meeting with Coach. He’s happy with the direction I’m heading. Said I’m not quite there yet but I’m “not falling off the backend either.” I guess that’s improvement from the summer. 

Elizabeth Smart came to SUU. What horror she endured, she’s inspiring. I liked how she focused on moving on from the trauma and not allowing it to take away more of her life. What a strong woman. 

Found out right after that meeting that my old YW president passed away today. Nancy did so much for me. Nancy was kind of like my second mom for a few years. At least she’s not suffering anymore. She was an amazing woman.

Hard day. 

HR was 80 this morning. I’m not feeling well today, headache, congested, beginnings of a cough, backache, sore throat. Paul said it’s a good idea to take today off and rest, so that’s what I’ll be doing. No running

HR still high at 71. I don’t feel as fatigued as yesterday though. Body aches are mostly gone. Throat is still a bit sore. My sinuses have cleared and my headache is pretty much gone, so overall much better than yesterday. Slightly worried about running because I know it’s going to kill my throat and chest, and I have a slight cough that can be painful, but I’ll see how it feels. 

It was so cold today, and there’s so much snow we were running in the road. Kinda sketchy. I stopped for a sec about .25 in to retie my leggings cause they were falling down, unfortunately that meant I either had to catch up to the group or run alone the rest of the way. I tried for maybe .15 to catch up then said screw it and slowed. I wasn’t feeling good enough to go 7:00 pace or under just yet, even for a quarter. Got to Main and my lungs/throat weren’t having it, I could either flip and go back the same way or try Main. I went for Main because I knew I could just take the second road that goes alongside it for a while and be out of the street, then depending on how far the snow was plowed I’d finish Main or go down 300 W or another side street. It was sketchy. Wouldn’t recommend. Definitely took 300 W, plus I wouldn’t have lasted 5.5 miles. My head started pounding after 3ish miles and I was coughing sporadically, felt like I was going to cough up a lung. Luckily it’s not phlemy. Went into the training room and coughing got worse, couldn’t stop, asked Drew for a cough drop. After a minute or so I was fine. Rolled out then asked Drew what he wanted me to for rehab, he told me I could go home and rest if I felt that would be better. Texted Paul because technically we have weights today, he said I should go home and not to worry about making it up later in the week (I felt bad especially since I’d also missed Monday’s weights), and to just rest. So that’s what I’m going to do right now, now that I’ve gotten dinner and showered etc. I’m exhausted.

7:57 average.

I’m pretty sure I have the flu. Had a dangerously high fever tonight of 104.9. No wonder I felt so hot haha. Now I feel bad for going to practice, I hope no one else gets sick

Holy crap. I’m shocked at how quickly my fever went away. I started to feel warm last night around 8pm, thought it was just because I was huddled up in blankets. Asked Madison if I felt warm, she said maybe a little bit, I thought mmm I’m probably fine. I’ve had false alarms before where I’m only warm because of being in bed. But then I started feeling really warm around 9, my cheeks and lips were burning. But my body was cold, only felt good when under blankets. Started asking around for a thermometer because I didn’t have one, my roommate from last year had one and brought it over around 10. She’s so kind. Turns out I had a fever of 104.9. Paul said I should go to the emergency room ASAP, that really wasn’t good. I called my mom because, you know, a trip to the emergency room is expensive. She said if I could get it to drop below 102, I could wait for a clinic in the morning. Took ibuprofen, my neighbor came over at 10:30 and gave me a priesthood blessing, and right after that my fever had dropped to 100.7. By 11:30 I was back to 98.5. What a miracle. And this morning I’m still normal. I feel so much better. 

Paul said not to run today. One more day will go a long ways

HR 49

Drove up to Salt Lake for Nancy’s funeral tomorrow. I’m feeling so much better than before, fever is gone, chills, body aches, and headache are gone and my appetite is back. I just have the remnants of a sore throat and cough. I’m pretty exhausted and have been for most of the day but I’ll go to bed early tonight. 

Did Shriner’s run and VA loop in Salt Lake, got up on 11th Avenue at the perfect time to see the view of the valley and sunset. It was gorgeous. 7:33 average.

HR 51

I never knew how great an impact a person can have on the world until I met Nancy. Nancy was the kind of person that made you feel like her favorite every time you talked to her. She had a special ability to love everyone and make them feel loved. It wasn’t anything specific that Nancy did for me that showed me she cared, it was the way she lived her life, how she taught me in church, how she checked up on me and congratulated me on things I was too shy or embarrassed to say in good news minute of YW (things my friends always pointed out for me), how she’d seem genuinely upset that I never spoke up and told her the good things happening in my life (she was one of the ones that helped me to come out of my shell), how she always made me feel loved despite my intense insecurities. It was her support for me at times I needed it most. She took in my brother when he was struggling to live at home, when my parents knew it was time for him to have some space from the family and cool out (he has major anxiety, depression and bipolar disorders, as well as occasional rages that would turn violent if escalated). She cared and loved him like he was her own son. She made it possible for him to continue and graduate high school and provided a service to my parents that meant our whole family’s world. She loved and cared for me in ways I can’t even explain, she taught me lessons that I’ve carried with me throughout my life that have shaped who I am today. Even though she wasn’t my mom, in those critical years of high school she was the third guardian, a living angel, that I needed. Her kindness, her example, her laughter, her fun energy, her strong faith in Jesus Christ, her focus on others rather than herself, her ability to focus on the positive in every situation and turn a trial into a positive learning experience every single time, all of it left its mark on those who knew her. She was truly one of the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

7:52 average. HR 48