My mom gave me some really good news today- my dad talked to Coach over the phone and he's going to hold my scholarship so I will still have it next year. I was really worried I wouldn't so that is a huge relief.
This morning I started ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) in which they put me under anesthesia, gave me a paralytic so I wouldn't thrash about except for my right hand (so the doctor could tell when I was siezing) and induced a siezure by sending an electric pulse through my brain. For some reason doctors don't understand, it helps with depression. Something about balancing the chemicals in the brain, I guess. And they say it's the most effective treatment for depression, quicker and better than antidepressants. It usually takes 8-12 treatments and they usually do it every other day, except for at first to get a jumpstart on it. The first 4 treatments I have to stay at the hospital for, then after that I can come back and forth from home on treatment days. So about a week? left in the hospital. Anyways, I was out for it so I don't remember any of it, but my mom was there and she said I was very confused when I woke up, had huge hiccups (I guess the diaphram is one of the first muscles to move again) and couldn't remember much of anything. I knew my name but when the doctor asked if I knew where I was I had no idea. I don't even remember that conversation, but my memory has improved significantly. The rest of the day I still had memory loss, and still do to some extent when I try to remember certain things (for example I had to ask the nurse if I took my antidepressant this morning, I did apparently but I have no recollection of it). My mom said I was white as a sheet when we had to part ways, I was very nauseated. Haha, she also said the first thing I did when I awoke was grab my leg and say, "ow my leg..." My muscles are very sore. Like the fourth day of effort and hard core weights sore. And I have a headache. So I stayed in bed until dinner. I could hardly eat anything because it hurt to open my jaw more than a centimeter or two (again sore muscles). Yayyy I get to do it all again tomorrow! Except it's in the morning so I won't have to starve myself- it'll just be a late breakfast since I can sleep through most of the time (no food 8 hours before and no water 5 hours before).
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