Believe to Achieve

5.5 mile bike ride to Lehi Rec ctr to meet Melanie.  Pull ran for 38 minutes.  At first it felt ridiculously easy.  Like I had no legs at all. It felt that way for 30 minutes until I tried a few "pick" ups then it felt like MAYBE I was working something. SO FUN though.  We could run side by side and talk and not worry about pace or Melanie being far from me.  Road my bike home.  5.5 miles.   CORE CHALLENGE AGAIN.  Man that workout from Josse is a KILLER.  At least I don't get sore anymore.  But it is tough every time.  No wonder I couldn't move after the first day.  CAN'T wait for DR. appt tmr.  Finally.  My foot is just ridiculous....IF I HAD TO GUESS my first guess would be TARSAL TUNNEL DUE to a NEUROMA on the nerve group there.  Second guess would be nerve entrapment due to osteomyelitis in my heel.  Third guess would be STRESS FRACTURE of the calcaneus.  Forth guess-- A mixture of several of the above. 

Studio C last night for FHE.  Amber lesson on ZELMHIG.    Very tired yesterday.  7 peaks for 2.5 hours.  Came home and napped.  Today I slept in til 7am.  Biked to Melanie's house to get my goggles and swim cap-- 7.5 miles.  HEADWIND and crosswinds GALORE.  Both ways.  How does the wind do that?  AP 3:57 for 15 miles.  Great Harvest bread  YUM.  with Almond butter and honey.  A little cottage cheese and skim milk on the side to treat myself.  Dr. Appt at 1015am today with Dr. Phillips.  I just figured out WHY my ankle was getting more painful instead of better with rest--- the STEROID that was masking SOME of the pain was working .  IT is wearing off now as it has been FOUR weeks today and each day over the last week my ankle has gotten more and more painful.  The pain is my inner ankle down into my heel.  See yesterdays thoughts on diagnosis. 

2 miles after steroid. 8:36 ap. foot no way close to normal still but closer than yesterday. i may be dying. running isnt feeling normal anymore. pinch me. am i dead? worked all day. so busy. then rachelle took me to spirit of the,marathon. thought maybe i would run away from that pain free. i feel like my joints,are rebelling. 

steroid taper trouble?  two steroid shots, oral prednisone, another steroid shot = JOINT pain from knees down and some intermittent in my lower back and pelvis.  PRETTY intense.  OLD lady like.  Very stiff and pain ful.  Burning to aching.  Anxious but no appetite.  Tired.  Eyes burning/blurry.  Very concerned.  Ran this morning four miles to test out my steroid shot and my legs were unresponsive and could feel my heel a bit.  Trouble is my right foot is so scared to land normal afraid a can of worms will be released as it has been.  So scared of the pain worsening.  This joint/muscle/tendon pain is NOT normal.  I really wish I had some answers.  The longer I go undiagnosed the MORE I feel God is leaving me.  But maybe He is testing me JOB-Like.  I prefer the thin model body and lots of money test over this.  I am not sure I like this much physical pain day in and day out.  About 1/2 hour after my run my legs and calves and shins ached continuously.  Throbbing and my feet joint were painful as well.  I could barely walk at work.  Just like some 84 year old. After talking with a coworker who was on steroids for 6 months she said when she came off she had intense joint pains mostly in her knees and was worried she had arthritis. But realized it was the steroid taper.  It took a while and she got better.  Probably when her adrenal glands kicked in.  My body reacts poorly to steroids.  Shuts my adrenal glands off for a while.  Last summer the intense pains were from my pelvis to my knees after a short week on steroid--solumedrol dose pack.  This year it is from my knees to my feet.  So painful.  So sad.  Wondering how I ever did run in my life as walking is so painful.  Some days I wish I would just die.  But then I wonder where I would end up?  More miserable?  I lack testimony when  I get to this painful abyss.  I know some day some things will make sense.  Hope it is all fair.  AP 8:55 for 4. 

top gun. got to get out there and learn to run again. so worried with each step onto my right foot there will be a,new pain. poor left leg, mostly shin getting a workout carrying the right legs work. ran 6 miles, 2 mile loop three times. did not feel normal running. a miracle if i can make,it to sgm. ap 8:29. then went to rec ctr and did core challenge with a little extra. joint pains less severe today. maybe it was the weather yesterday? strong winds all evening. 

super tired. ran easy. heel hurt muscles achy. felt btr than yesterday. ap 8:27.work today. joints and muscles so very achy.