Believe to Achieve

tired a lot.  wake up tired.  muscles feel weak.  anemia most likely cause.  taking four days off.  this is day two.  but I do work two 12 hour shifts tues and wed.  off to Arizona to see mother on Thursday night for four nights with my sister.  Reality check for me with this anemia--  run easy with only one tempo and a few pick ups.  only just under five weeks left til marathon number 1.  I don't feel ready physically or mentally so I need to set my goals lower to just a course PRs for the slam.  Ogden that would be a 3:14.  Utah Valley 3:08 (depending on how Ogden goes).  Then for Park City 3:30 or better.  SG 3:06.   I don't know how to crack this anemia and also my age factor along with hypothyroidism.  I will just do what I can do.  Nothing forced or I will tire too early.  Need energy and I have none.  So it is better to cool my jets now.  If it happens I start to feel better than I will go with it.  Onward.  I don't have much time.  So whatever happens happens.  I  am having a lot of right sided sciatica and hamstring pain.  Hence a forced time off with the fatigue.  I have had this before...resting helps.  It will be time to taper by the time I get started.  That is funny : D. 

becoming a non runner....day three....worked all day.  tired a lot.  sore throat. feet dont hurt. deeply troubled  by events yesterday. spent all morning...4 hours worth watxhing the boston marathon. finally turned it off. then called an hour later by melanie. i had to have her repeat herself several times. her words did not make sense to me.  just heartwrenching.  

wow look at me go.......not. day four off. sciatica still happening. it stops randomly so hoping tmr is random :)

HOLY WEAKNESS!!!  seriously the FLU knocked me back like five months in training.  I wake in the morning barely able to get out of bed but of course I have to run.  I took the four days off and by golly I gotta get out there.  I have been in a depression of sorts.  My body is just not cooperative and with this weeks events emotionally I came apart.  But I am digging my way back up....just wish my body absorbed nutrients appropriately.  I can tell I am anemic.  My heartrate is up after work outs and I super fatigued.  HOWEVER my tonsils are still swollen (mono?? again!!!???)  Had mono in 2003.  Massive fatigue and tonsilittis.  Flip I hope that is not the case.  That takes a good four months to recover from.  DRAGGED MY TIRED tushy to the rec center and just put one foot in front of the other.  Okay of course I have to start where I left off.....so I planned a 7 mile tempo for myself but I quit at 6.25 miles cause I was forcing it at that point.  Mentally I was not there to push myself physically.  I also felt very thirsty and in need for some sugar.  I didn't eat anything since the night before.  It was 810am.  I put the TM at 2% and 7.1 mph (8:27).  I ran four miles--8:27, 8:13, 8:00, 7:47...and a little faster at the finish. AP 8:00.  Jumped off and got some water.  Then ran 1/2 mile 2% 7:30 to 8:00.  Started progressive half marathon pace tempo (no longer have lofty goals thinking this is marathon pace any more, man I am in a funk).  Started "easy"-- 0.5 % incline...6:53, 6:49, 6:44, 6:44, 6:40, 6:40 and 6:40 for last 0.25 miles.  I just felt so weak that I stopped it 3/4 mile from goal.  Muscles all jell-o like and my hamstring just keeping under radar.  No need to risk it.  Ran cooldown at 7:24 to 8:00 pace for 1.25 miles.  1%.  AP for last 8 miles = 6:54.   Wish I had a magic pill cause I don't see this going anywhere soon.  ZERO motivation.  I had a old guy however point me out to another old guy---I had my ear phones but I lip read--"look at that girl behind you on the TM".  It was pretty obvious he was talking about me. 

in casa grands arizona.   ahhhhhh flat and grenery...who knew the desserr could be so beautiful? creaky bones and sore muscles...and most of all second toes ouch! i must have ran tense yesterday as by the end my toe nail beds were very tender! blisters underneath i presume.....so the first three miles were the waiting period for endorphins to numb the toe pain.   seriously i feel three or more months back in training.   i only have four weeks for marathon one.  not ready.  ap today 8:16.  two miles on dirt/sand. first and last. first mile 9:01 :) 

20 miles in arizona. left at 627am. should have left earlier. kind of hot. going to be in the 90s today. kind of forgot about water...ooops. ran some loop in a neighborhood nearby then headed in town. first mile 8:34...went around pond after that for some varying elevation he he. so flat here.  was really thinking i wouldnt make it far. so many creaks and leftover soreness from tempo two days ago. old lady legs. geez.  so i just kept it going. left music tucked in shirt and decided to put it on at my one and only water stop at 10.5 miles. it was a circle k. i managed to get a potty stop and asked for a cup in desperation.  i knew the last 9.5 miles with increasing heat and no shade..flat dessert here was gonna be monotonous. vra bed some water i did bring two gus which probably saved my life. took at 7 and 13 miles without water. this was more of a provressive 20 without progressing past my fastest mile 17 of 7:11. the last three were 7:19 ap. i was so ready to be done and dirt for the last mile was a sligbt hindrance to pace. ap 7:34 for 20. now relaxing. heading to the pool after a cold shower. first and last 20 before ogden.  four weeks to go.