Running is a means and never merely an end

33 minutes easy around the school, then 8x100m strides. Definitely tapering at this point, and it feels really nice! My legs are feeling good and I am in a great state mentally; my competitive drive is pretty high right now and I am determined to kill it on Saturday!

Pre-meet. I'm feeling so good about tomorrow! This is it. My last regional meet. It's pretty crazy...and I'm ready to make it count. I'm ranked 3rd in the 3200 and 4th in the 1600, and the top 4 move onto state. I'm definitely feeling some good times coming on, but it will be interesting to see how the placing pans out amongst the competition. I've raced all of these girls before and I know some of them are solid, but 2 of them are very inconsistent. They're either really amazing or not good at all, depending on the meet. I expect a good race from everyone tomorrow though, and they best be expecting the same from me! Mind over matter, Jesus over all.

I had a really good mentality going into my mile today. I'm really growing to love the mile, which is strange because I only ran it once or twice last year since I hated it so much. I really thought the 3200 was my race, but I have been dropping time in the 16 like nobody's business and still haven't met my PR from indoor season this outdoor season. So I went out in the mile with a ton of adrenaline. This race is all I had been thinking about all week, so I was so nervous. We got out and I was pretty quickly right at the front with Ladeja and some other girl who just got out too fast. Eliza doesn't like to get out fast so she hung back for the first 2 or 3 hundred meters. We came through the first lap at about 1:18-19. Me, Ladeja, and Eliza started to seperate as the lead pack but still stuck together for the next lap. I can't even remember the rest of our splits because I was just pushing so hard. Lap 4, the 3 of us seperated out a little and we placed as predicted. I had no clue what my time was but I knew it had to be fast because that was the most painful 1600 I'd ever endured. I killed myself on the last lap. I later found out it was 5:31, a 7 second PR, and I was so happy about that! I am dying to break 5:30 but this was a huge step towards that goal! Plus that qulifies me for state, which I never would have thought I would be going to for the mile!

After my mile I felt absolutely terrible. I threw up a few times and couldn't down anything except a few Ritz crackers and water. I had put absolutely every ounce of me into that mile and I had no idea how I was going to be able to run the 2. I warmed up though, which already was hurting really bad, a little bit, but not much because it was extremely hot. The heat was definitely promoting my fatigue. We got on the line and Ladeja basically told me she wasn't going to work hard for this and was just gonna take 4th (she already qualified in 3 other events that she is better at and didn't want to run it at state), which didn't help my motivation at all, but it did help my stress level a little bit because I knew I had 3rd in the bag. We got out well for the first 800 and then definitely started slowin. Mile split was 6:08. Me and Ladeja were going back and forth the first mile but I remembered what she said and I wasn't really worried about her taking a real lead. The last mile was AWFUL and I was just dying inside wanting it to be over. I slowed down to like 1:38 laps when I knew Ladeja had fallen back and I had 3rd easily. Can't remember the last race I wanted to be over this badly. I finished and I didnt care at all about my time. I just was excited about qualifying for states in both of my events and super excited for Eliza because she beat the East Lincoln girl by 20-something seconds who was predicted to win by like 20 seconds. I didn't really cool down, which I am regretting now. Definitely gonna do a good shakeout run tomorrow.

Easy 5ish mile recovery run. My legs were killing me this morning thanks to my lack of a cool down yesterday, so this run really did me some good. I stretched and did a ice bath in the creek afterwards, and they feel amazing now! Freshly worked but well recovered.

.8 mile warm up, then my workout was a 3 mile tempo run on the track. I scheduled this workout more than anything as a mental workout to help me see 8 laps as short if I could do 12. That backfired and I ended up going out way too fast and, as a result, having to stop with 800 to go. I was shooting for 6:45-6:50's or so, and I went out with a 6:34, then a 6:48. With the 2 800m's of the last mile combined, minus the little break I took, the last mile was like 6:58. I don't know if the heat (85 and sunny) had anything to do with all that...but I was so disappointed in myself today for stopping. I've been dwelling on it all night. I couldn't even stick it out for 3 miles??

Anyways...10 minute cool down afterwards.

Very strange workout today....so after a 15 hour work day (got a code 6 from school!), mentally exhausted was an understatement. I finally got to the track around 9:30 and it was already really dark. After I warmed up, a man started walking on the track with his hands behind his back carrying something that the only light on the track would shine off of. Not trying to be dramatic at all but I am like 90% sure it was a blade. So I called Will and asked him to come down (he was in the dorm right across the street) and hang around while I did my workout just to be safe. So anyways I did 4x200 with a 200m jog in between, 3x800, 2x400m. First set was supposed to be 44's, I hit 42, 43, 42, 42. 2nd set was supposed to be mile race pace, or 2:45, but I had a really had time with that, and hit all 3 2:54's. 400's were supposed to be 78-80, and I hit 77, 79. Obviously I am disappointed in my 800's....but I really feel like I worked very hard on them. But then I was pleasantly surprised with the 400's. So then I was supposed to do a 10-15 minute cool down but mine ended up being like 4 and a half because the man freaked me out so bad by standing there on the bleachers - no one else around - watching me. Will had left right before my cool down aynyways so needless to say I wanted out of there. 

30 minute easy run. Didn't feel very easy though. I am definitely not adjusted to this summer weather yet. 6x80 meter strides and some icing on my legs afterwards. Definitely tapering down for state at this point. I think I have done my best to gear up physically these past few weeks, but I just hope I can get things under control mentally. I'm having a really hard time mentally preparing because I am still not sure if I am going to scratch the mile or not. See, the problem is I have a better shot to place well in the 3200 (which is after the 16), but I hate to make it all the way to state for the last meet of my high school career, and then scratch the 1600.

Well, there went the last practice of my high school career. Easy, short run + 6x100m strides. I tried to really just soak in every step and breath and enjoy it. Spent most of the run praying and just thanking God for the past 4 years of running that he has blessed me so greatly with. It's really incredible how it just flew by. I'm ready to go out there and just give it all I've got for Him and use up every ounce of this gift.

Well, my last state meet is tomorrow. It's really hard not to be nostalgic right now. But anyways, we went to Olive Garden and I carb-loaded, then we went back to the hotel and hung out for a while. Later on I did some barefoot strides in the hallways (raining outside) and all of my pre-run dynamic stretching, then static stretched for a little while. I took an ice bath too. I'm feeling good about tomorrow. Doing both the 16 and 32, and I'm gonna try and go all-out in both as long as it doesn't ge too hot. Here goes nothing!

So we got to the track around lunchtime. I watched a few prelims and then went and hammocked with Tori under the bleachers to get out of the sun for a while so I wouldn't be drained. At 2nd call, I checked in for the 1600, warmed up, then hung out under the check-in tent with most of the other milers. My adrenaline was pumping like crazy just talking to all of these girls that I have researched like crazy on MileSplit.

So anyways we finally made our way to the line. There were cameras absolutely everywhere - at least 6 or 7 professional photographers taking pictures and then 1 or 2 guys with those big video cameras that hooked up to the Jumbotron so everyone could see us up close. The mile is definitely a crowd favorite. That was all really overwhelming for me and definitely messed up my focus a little bit. So the gun goes off and we went out pretty fast. The lead girls left immediately and I hung back in my middle pack. First lap was 1:17, and everything stayed the same, then 800m split was 2:42 I think. At this point my legs were feeling so heavy and my mindset started to go downhill. I started thinking about how I still had to do the 2 mile after this, and wondering if I would ever forgive myself if I just gave up and didn't even run it. Needless to say, my 3rd lap was terrible with a 1:28 split. Last lap was a little bit better just because I wanted to be done so bad. I came through at a 5:39, 8 seconds slower than my 5:31 PR from last Saturday, in 9th place (granted, 1 ahead of my 10th place ranking) with no one really near me to challenge me at the end. That isn't an awful time, but seeing as I was dying so bad all season to break into the 5:20's...it was a little (aka, very) disheartening for me that this was my last chance and not only did I not get it, I backtracked.

I changed back into my trainers, took my recovery shake, and went on a short cool down to get some of my lactic acid out. This was my first year doing indoor track, so it was the first year that I ever literally ran all year long...my legs were on the brink of exhaustion and my mind was even worse off, I was driving myself crazy pushing so hard for so long. I started thinking about the 3200m coming up and I broke down. I pulled off during my cool down into a dugout in the softball field behind the stadium and just prayed. I asked God to just take this race from me and do with it what He would. I realized that God is not impressed with my times and his love for me is not reliant on whether I PR or not.

Hung out with my family, Tori, and Joseph for a little while and watched some hurdles and sprints. Then I went and warmed back up for the 2 mile and checked in. I felt really strange when the gun went off. Usually I have a gameplan, a strategy, a list of splits that I am trying to hit. But this time I felt totally unprepared, I didn't have anything. I was just running. First lap was 1:20. For the whole first mile, I was in 9th just drafting off of these two girls right in front of me who were battling back and forth. I felt like I was cruising, but somehow I was hitting my fastest splits all season. First mile was 5:59-6 flat. Right after the mile, I went ahead and pretty easily passed the two girls in front of me and moved into 7th. I thought a good bit about my prayer during the next two laps and that gave me a lot of strength. I was hurting but I knew it would pass eventually. My last lap was really strong, and really sentimental. Every hundred meters, I kept thinking, "This is my last ___ hundred meters of my high school career..." I couldn't breathe anymore at that point, but my legs were feeling so much better than in my mile, and I tried my best to just bust it till the end and finish on empty. My parents said my last 200m was the best kick they ever saw me have. I saw the clock as I came through the line and knew I had PR'd by at least a second, which would be a season best by at least 5 seconds. As I slowed, I smiled, then stumbled into the grass and collapsed. Right as I hit the ground, the rain came down and they announced that we needed to evacuate the stadium, but I was still just trying to breathe well again. Well apparently it was hail and thunder, but I was so gone I don't even remember that. Pretty cool though that that storm held off until right after I finished.

Officially I ran a 12:12.31 and placed 7th, one ahead of my ranking. It's incredibly bittersweet. I don't really know what to think about the race or the meet itself, but I am so thankful for how God worked through me and how he used this meet to teach me to trust in him and not myself. I also just can't believe that I am done with high school running forever. That was it. That being said, I am beyond excited to be a Terrier and I know I will soon break 5:30 and 12 flat with ease once I am training collegiately. I'm so pumped for all that is in store for me at Wofford, because as I look back on my 4 years running here at Smoky, I never would have imagined how blessed I would be. And yet....the best is yet to come.

Kicked off my first day back at it with a little bit of crossfit for general fitness, but no run so to speak. 20 pushups, 20 pullups, and 30 sit ups for a warm up, and then a 12 minute AMRAP (as many rounds as possible) of 8 pullups/6 dead lifts/4 pushups/400m run. I think I didn't count how many rounds I got in but I think it was 3 or 4.

Just as an update since state, I layed low and rested my body for the last week and a half and loved every minute of it honestly! This is my first real break in a long time, and I needed it mentally even more than I did physically. It was fun to go after school and hang out with my friends or take a nap or just do whatever I want for once. This was the perfect time for my break too because everything is happening all at once this time of year. Last week alone I had my 18th birthday, my official signing (I am now officially running for Wofford! Go Terriers!), academic banquet, NHS banquet, prom, and the Jackson County Hall of Fame ceremony (I have been chosen as the Smoky Mountain HS athlete of the year), and my AP Statistics test. Thank goodness all of that didn't have to happen in conjuntion with my training for state...I would have been overwhelmed.

So anyways, this next week or 2 I am going to take it slow as I get back into things. The last thing I want is to get injured right before I start my collegiate training. Speaking of which, I should get my workout packet for the summer within these next few weeks. 

Went on an easy morning run around Buchanan Loop (2 hilly miles). I felt really weird. Do you ever almost feel like you forgot how to run when you haven't ran in a while? My gait felt funny. But I must have been fine because I finished in just over 14 minutes. I am really sore from crossfit though! Those were definitely muscles I am not used to using.

The rest of the day I spent at the lake wakeboarding and tubing! I'd like to count that as an upperbody workout as well, no joke, because my arms are more sore now than they have been in years from the combination of crossfit friday and this today.

Hiked about a mile up deep creek with a tube today and tubed down the river (total ab workout, I swear)! Went on a late night run around 10 around the neighborhood. I wanted to do 3 miles today but my mom didn't want me gone longer than like 15 minutes in the dark...so I could only get in just over 2. They felt great though! I can't wait to get back into it and start throwing down high mileage this sumer.

Crossfit workout today! We did a warm up of 30 situps, 20 pushups, and 10 pullups. Then a pre-workout of 5x3 push presses. The WOD was a 10 minute AMRAP of 20 double-unders (jump roping where it goes under twie before you hit the ground), 10 box jumps, and 5 wall-walks. The wall-walks were the absolute death of me, I know I am going to be feeling that in my shoulders tomorrow. I'd equate the cardio here to about a mile's worth. 

3 miler around Webster. To be honest I feel absolutely terrible. First of all I am sick, sick, sick. I can't breathe through my nose and my head feels like its gonna explode with every step. Second of all, I can tell I've gotten a little out of shape, which is really frustrating. I mean I am not going any slower really but I feel like I am having to work a lot harder to keep my same semi-easy pace. Can't wait to get outta this phase.

AM - Currently on a little 4-day-weekend vacation with the fam! So my sister and I went on a quick run around the golf course and finished upat the fitness center where I did a leg-day workout. My upper body is still pretty tired from crossfit. 

Afternoon - pool workout!

Went on a 30 minute run around the golf course, then did a core circuit. Felt better than yesterday, but still not great.